Crepererum
by Dinkel
Summary: There's a balance, between Good and Evil, Light and Dark, Power and Weakness, and Mother Nature makes sure to keep that balance, even if she's cursed repeatedly for doing so... HP/SB, slash, ignores HBP and DH, AU - read the warnings!
1. Revelations

_Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe and all its characters, creatures, places and incantations belong to J.K. Rowling. By writing this story, I mean no offence to her or anyone else, nor do I make money with it (though that sure would be nice *lol*)._

_Author's Note: Happy Halloween!  
Wow! Everything changed! Has it really been that long since I finished posting my last story?  
Anyway, I had some problems with this story and I still think that it isn't the best I've ever written. But then again, I'm not that fond of my first story anymore, either, and there seem to be a lot of people who enjoyed that one, so maybe some people will like this story as well. (I can hope, can't I?) I started it at about the same time as_ Winter and Ice _and then stopped writing to focus on_ Winter and Ice_, then I started again, and now I'm rewriting it, which is quite annoying at times. What I'm trying to say is that there might be some differences in writing, though I hope that at least the plot will be consistent.  
"Crepererum" is the Latin word for "twilight", but it also means "uncertain"._

_Warnings: **Slash** (M/M), **AU** (though it shouldn't be so obvious for a while), **violence** (mostly in the first few chapters, I think), **molestation** (also mostly in the first few chapters), **OOCness** (because I can never quite stop myself, e.g. **submissive Harry**), and everything else I might come up with.  
Oh, yes, English is not my mother tongue so don't expect too much from me._

_Beta(s): **jharad17**, thanks for your first corrections and your suggestions, even though you don't like the story :-(  
**Adah Eyes,** thanks for your help, your encouraging words and the explanations of things I should by now know. I hope you're feeling better by now and a toast to a hopefully successful teamwork.  
**Blaithin-mae**, thank you for another opinion and the kind greeting in German._

_General Information: I'll try to update between once and twice a week, but I don't promise anything.  
I think the story will grow to have between twenty and thirty chapters, but that depends on my muse and my motivation, I guess.  
Saying that I like reviews would be a bit of understatement. Thus, at the end of every chapter, I will nag you to press that nice little button and to tell me if you liked the chapter. Just consider it an extra service *grins*_

* * *

**1. REVELATIONS**

It was close to midnight, nine minutes until midnight to be exact, and Harry lay on his bed, staring at the grey ceiling in absolute and complete boredom. You would think the life of a nearly seventeen-year-old-wizarding boy-hero would be more interesting, but alas, it was one of those illusions Muggles have about wizardry and heroes. In reality, his life really wasn't that interesting; annoying, nerve-wracking, sweat-inducing and very dangerous, yes, but far from interesting.

Now, the reason he lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling in absolute and complete boredom, was the fact that in three more minutes he would turn seventeen and thereby come of age: his one-way ticket out of his so-called home. He had already arranged everything with Ron, who would meet him the following day for lunch in the Leaky Cauldron. They would do their shopping for school, then go home to the Burrow where Harry's real holiday would begin. A slow grin spread over Harry's face. No more Dursleys. No more chores. No more insults. Just the people he considered his family.

Dumbledore had also proposed he spend some time at Hogwarts, likely for additional training. Harry thought the offer had sounded strangely like a threat, but he didn't want to dwell on his suspicions any more than absolutely necessary. Besides, he understood the extremity of the situation: Voldemort was still at large, gathering more and more followers, attacking randomly and generally spreading fear and terror. Not to mention he still made a point of trying to kill Harry at least once a year. Harry, Ron and Hermione had barely scraped by with their lives and limbs intact at the end of last school year, when Voldemort launched an attack on Hogsmeade and had cornered them near the Shrieking Shack, which now looked even more dilapidated.

The last seconds of Harry's seventeenth year ticked off. In that moment, the moon sent a silvery stream of light through Harry's barred window and into his room, Hedwig hooted softly from her cage, and a searing pain shot through his whole body. Harry gasped in agony as every part of his body exploded in fire while shards of ice thrust into him. His bones and ribs cracked, reforming, as if his insides went through a shredder. The skin all over his body broke apart, then mended immediately, just to tear open once more.

**The pain.**

Harry squeezed his eyes shut, desperately clawing at his skin, clawing at his chest, in a vain attempt to alleviate the pain. A high-pitched scream tore from his throat before he surrendered to the reprieve of unconsciousness.

*_*_*

The scream must have woken his relatives, for moments after Harry had fallen unconscious, the door banged open by his voluminous uncle, whose complaints and angry screams died on his lips as he saw the state his nephew was in. His horse-necked wife peeked over his shoulder, still in her night gown, with curlers in her blond hair. A curious expression between disapproval, horror and interest appeared on her thin face.

Before the couple could exchange a word, and before Vernon had a chance to slam the door shut on his nephew, they were joined by their son. Dudley, as it turned out, had not come out curiosity or anger at his cousin, but simply because he was returning from a jaunt for a little midnight snack, the remains of which were smeared over the front of his pyjamas.

"What's wrong with the freak?" Dudley regained his voice first since he was rather used to seeing people lying in their own blood.

"Some disease of his," his father grunted, herding them back out of the room and pulling the door shut behind him. He snapped all the locks back into place for good measure. "We have to keep away from him or we'll catch it too."

Petunia gasped, horrified, and pressed her thin hand to her chest, offering in a whisper, "Maybe we should contact that school of his, I don't want him in my house if he'll endanger my Duddy!"

Vernon nodded in agreement and, after a bit of to and fro and a lot of encouragement and demonstrations of adoration from his family, the big man went back into Harry's room to fetch the boy's white owl, Hedwig, who was still locked in her cage, trying desperately to reach and help her human friend.

*_*_*

Two hours later, the snowy white owl glided over the black surface of the Great Lake of Hogwarts, her white feathers shimmering in the light of the full moon. She broke through the wards, thereby rousing the Headmaster from his sleep. When she flew into his office, the Headmaster was waiting, already sucking his first lemon drop of the day.

"Ah, Hedwig, my dear," he greeted gently. He offered her an owl treat before taking the short letter off her leg. "I see my assumption was correct, then." He read the note, nodded pensively, then composed an answer and handed it to the owl, who took off immediately.

Dumbledore debated for a moment whom he should Firecall first. Maybe Remus? No, it was the full moon, and the werewolf would not be much help to Harry now. Remus would have to wait a bit longer. Severus wouldn't thank him if he was roused from his sleep because of his archenemy's son, and Dumbledore doubted Harry would take kindly to it, either.

It was really a pity so few of them were left, and even fewer he could trust with Harry's safety and wellbeing. He would have to call the Malfoys, though neither Harry nor they would be thrilled. But Lucius would help him, he hoped. Lucius would understand the utmost importance of keeping Harry safe and protected and at least remotely happy. The old wizard sighed deeply. Harry wouldn't like the new situation at all. Life just wasn't fair to that boy. But still, something had to be done, and if young Draco was like his father... well, this could turn out to be a good thing. Maybe this was the last necessary component to vanquishing the Dark Lord? But Harry wouldn't like it at all when, once again, he was allowed no choice in his life.

With a heavy sigh, one that made him feel each and every of his 156 years, Dumbledore rose from his comfortable, old-man-friendly armchair. After taking floo powder from the conveniently placed box on the mantelpiece, he kneeled down in front of the fireplace to make a floo call, feeling the joints and his bones protest against the hard floor and the uncomfortable position.

"Malfoy Manor." He waited until his head stopped swirling, and his eyes focused on a luxurious but tastefully furnished study.

"Lucius?"

He was time and again amazed by how magic enabled his voice to reach the person he was calling for without waking anyone else; he was also amazed at how human Lucius looked immediately after rising from sleep.

Lucius Malfoy's long blond hair, though not exactly dishevelled, was not quite as perfectly in place as usual. He wore black silk pyjamas with a silvery bathrobe over it, and his bright grey eyes squinted tiredly into the green flames around the older man's head.

"Albus, what's the matter?" The tall blond kneeled down next to the fireplace. "Was there an attack?"

"No, nothing of that sort, Lucius." Dumbledore smiled and twinkled, despite himself, and he had to sternly remind himself that he couldn't offer the blond a lemon drop with his head stuck in the fireplace and his body still kneeling in his office. "But it seems my assumption considering Harry was right. His relatives contacted me moments ago. Could you fetch the boy tomorrow? If my other assumption turns out to be right as well...

"Yes, I know, Albus." Lucius sighed, running one hand through his hair. "I assume you want my son to take care of him."

"If Harry is what I think he is..." Albus sighed as well, which once again made him feel nearly ancient. "This will not be a problem, will it?"

"Albus..." Lucius hesitated a moment. "You know people would kill for this privilege... and **that** is what I'm afraid of. Draco is..."

"Draco is your son, Lucius." Dumbledore gave him an encouraging smile. "He will take good care of Harry. You raised him well, I have no doubts about that."

"Is there no-one else? You know the boys don't exactly see eye to eye, and if you give Draco so much control over Harry..."

"I know, but there is no one else, as you well know. I had hoped Cedric Diggory would be able to take care of Harry, but, sadly, Voldemort robbed him and us of that possibility," Dumbledore returned softly. "Draco will do what is right and put personal feelings aside for as long as it takes, either to find a more suitable person or for him to be caught by Harry's charm."

"And what if we find someone for Harry **after** Draco '_has been caught by his charm_?'" Lucius echoed derisively. "You can't just play matchmaker with no regard for Harry's feelings! Draco will still have a way out, but for Harry it will be too late."

"I know of the dangers," Dumbledore reproached, "but as much as I wish for Harry's happiness, I value his life and safety more. I will not allow him to fall into Voldemort's hands, and if protecting him means sacrificing his happiness, I'm prepared to do that as well."

"And what about my son?" Lucius demanded, his voice rising in anger. "This will put him even more into the Dark Lord's focus, **as you well know.** You might be willing to risk Harry's life and happiness, Albus, but I have other plans for my son..."

"Plans, I'm sure, that can be realised, **if** the Light side wins the war," Dumbledore replied, "and if the name of Malfoy will still sound as nice, after the last word is spoken."

"Do not presume to threaten me, Albus," Lucius hissed. "Two can play this game, and I'm nothing like Severus."

"Why would I threaten you, my boy?" Dumbledore chuckled. "We both know how essential Harry is for this war, and how essential Draco is for Harry. All of us have to do our part."

"They are both children." Lucius shook his head. "Children, Albus; concerned only with their childish rivalry, crushes, and how to keep secrets from us adults. I don't find war a suitable extracurricular activity for my son. He's not mature enough to make the right decisions."

"But Harry is, Lucius. Harry will-"

"Harry won't stand a chance against Draco. What good will it do if the one who's capable of thinking like an adult is made to listen to a child."

"You underestimate your son, Lucius. He has matured much in the last years, Severus would confirm that." Dumbledore could almost see how the veiled accusation hit its target, how the protest died on Lucius' lips.

It hadn't been a fair move to remind the blond of how little time he actually spend with his only child, how little he knew him, but in this case, Dumbledore thought, the end justified the means.

"Just be sure you do this for the right reasons, Albus," Lucius murmured lowly. "For the children's safety and not the outcome of this war. If Draco hurts Harry, and you are putting him in the perfect position to do so, Harry won't be able to fight."

"I know." The old wizard inclined his head. "But, unlike you, I have faith in your son and your methods of upbringing. The Malfoy family has always been true to the saying that blood is thicker than anything."

"I'll fetch him tomorrow," Lucius agreed reluctantly, standing up again. "We'll bring him to Hogwarts afterwards so you can explain everything to him."

"Be careful, Lucius," the Headmaster warned the younger man. "He will resent this new development even more if you scare him away."

The blond sneered. "I know how to deal with such situations, Albus. I've not been married to Narcissa for the last eighteen years for nothing."

"Just wanted to make sure, my boy." The white-haired wizard's eyes twinkled, before he pulled his head back and left the Malfoy patriarch to his own thoughts and the darkness of his living room, while the flames died with the Headmaster's disappearance.

*_*_*

While Hedwig was still on her way to Hogwarts, and while Lucius and Dumbledore were still blissfully asleep, dreaming of a sunny day in spring with birds chirping and the first flowers breaking through the ground, and a paradise of sweets respectively, Harry slowly regained consciousness, feeling more or less like nothing had happened. In fact, he wasn't sure if anything **had** happened, since nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He was ready to dub the flashes of memory as a figment of his imagination, or the remnants of a strange dream, when he noticed not everything was as it used to be.

Something prevented him from rolling over. Something sprouting from his back. He cautiously craned his neck, but in the dim light he couldn't make out much of anything, so he reached with his hand behind his back, carefully gliding his fingers over his shoulders until they connected with the weird something protruding from his shoulder blades. It was hard, but covered by something extremely soft, like the fur of a newborn kitten, but not quite, more like... feathers?

Harry shot up, the unfamiliar weight on his back almost costing him his balance, and ran to the small mirror that was part of his rickety cupboard where he had stored his few belongings that the Dursleys didn't deem to dangerous for him to have. He couldn't really see much in it, but it was enough for Harry to find out that he indeed had wings. Large, feathery black wings.

He had wings. As in wings! He had wings, damnit!

He was pretty sure not even wizarding boy-heroes were supposed to suddenly grow wings when they turned seventeen. He didn't want wings! He had a broom, a Nimbus 2000. Admittedly, it was not the best broom on the market, not even as good as Malfoy's broom, but on the other hand he was a much better flyer, and he hadn't lost a game yet, even though Cedric had been a tough opponent...

_Cedric_. Thinking about him still made him swallow hard to hold back the tears. It just wasn't fair a boy with so much potential and so many good qualities should be killed just because he had **been** there. Just because of Harry. Cedric had been so unconditionally good, it had been hard not to like him - or to like him too much. Harry shook his head to rid himself of these thoughts. Right now he had more important things to deal with, like his wings, for example, and that he most definitely didn't need them.

He felt a sudden tingling feeling in his back, and when he checked the mirror once again, the wings were gone. Not just invisible, but really gone. He could not feel them when he carefully touched his shoulder blades again, nor did he feel their weight on his back, nor did he notice any air resistance when he spun around on his heel till he was facing the mirror again.

Well, one problem less. Excellent.

Maybe this really was just a dream. Yes, that was it; he was still dreaming. It would be best if he just went back to bed now and slept it off.

But as he turned back around, he caught his reflection in the mirror and halted in shock. He scarcely recognised himself. The youth in the mirror was pale and delicate-looking, and though Harry had certainly always been on the scrawny side, he prided himself on having acquired some muscles over the holidays from his chores, and quite a nice tan. But now the only colour in his face was in his lips and eyes, which were far larger than he remembered or had ever wished for. They seemed to glow in the dark.

He barely had time to acknowledge that he could see all these changes quite clearly without the help of his glasses, before something else made him gasp. His **ears**. His ears were pointy; the tips of them peeked through his pitch-black hair.

Damnit, what was going on here? What was wrong with him?

But it was not only his appearance. Something else was wrong, an indefinable feeling had possessed him, something strong and desperate and sinister and which almost felt like fear.

Why would he be afraid? There was nothing to be afraid of! What was he afraid of, anyway? An image of his uncle briefly flashed in front of his eyes, and a shiver ran down his body. He had never been afraid of his uncle before. Why would he be now? Was he afraid of him now? Something seemed to be missing... No, **someone** was missing, someone who would protect him...

But he was not in any danger. Well, okay, that was not completely true, after all Voldemort still hadn't given up on the idea of killing him, but he had never been fearful of that. And now, he wasn't afraid because of that either. It was more like a general angst...

*_*_*

His son, Lucius concluded, was an ungrateful little idiot. It wasn't so much Draco's reluctance to comply with Dumbledore's wishes, seeing as he himself had been and still was rather skeptical, but rather his attitude. It was acceptable and even understandable for him to be annoyed and upset, but Draco was acting like it was all Harry's fault, Harry's newest plot to get the best of him, and that just wouldn't do.

Draco **should** know better than to put the blame on Harry or let his anger out on the other boy, but he feared Draco would do exactly that, and Harry was vulnerable and burdened enough without Draco adding to it. Where was this supposed maturity Dumbledore had spoken of? Lucius certainly couldn't see it.

Lucius was annoyed, certainly, but he was also in perfect accordance with Draco's doubts. This wasn't a good idea, it wasn't even an acceptable idea, it was utter nonsense. He had always tried to keep himself and his family out of harm's way, but Dumbledore's newest plot would put Draco in the middle of danger with a bull's eye painted on the back of his robes. Everyone knew Harry attracted danger, and though Lucius felt sympathy for the teenager and even a certain urge to help him, he would rather he be doing so from the backlines.

Draco didn't see the danger, he knew. He saw the inconvenience of being stuck with his school enemy, being isolated, being watched and guarded. Draco didn't see the danger, and some part of Lucius was proud of that. It was his job as a parent to watch out for dangers and protect his son's innocence and naivety for as long as possible. Maybe he had spoilt Draco, he had thought so more than once in the last hour alone, but it was the only way he knew of to show how much he cared. He had hardly burdened Draco with duties, had always given without expecting anything in return. It was normal, he reasoned, that Draco didn't like these changes.

"... and what about my friends, father? Do you expect me to take Pothead with me? You know I already accepted the invitation to Pansy's birthday ball. Everyone will be there, everyone who's important that is, and if I don't go-"

"Draco, if you want to go to that ball it won't be a problem. We'll find a solution for this one evening-"

"But it's not only the evening, father. It's a sleep-over party, and we wanted to go to the spa the next day. Mother already agreed."

"That too won't be a problem," Lucius sighed, resisting the urge to massage his temples.

"And what about Quidditch?" Draco's voice raised a pitch in agitation. "Potter won't be able to play, of course, right, father? I won't allow it."

"We will discuss this with the Headmaster. I'm sure there is a way to accommodate both of you. I don't think it will be necessary for Harry to stop playing."

"Whatever, when we play Gryffindor I'll just tell him to close his eyes, or something." Draco smirked.

"You certainly will not, Draco!"

"Father, you told me to see the good of this situation, didn't you?" The younger blond was still smirking. "Besides, if I allow Potter to beat me at Quidditch, he will be the one to suffer from my bad mood, and you wouldn't want that."

"Draco, this is no joking matter." Lucius scowled at his son. "And such an easy win would hardly be worth mentioning."

"Potter always has easy wins. It's like he's bathed in Felix Felicitas," Draco complained. "And I bet his broom is somehow tuned, it's not normal that he should be so fast."

Lucius suddenly had an idea, probably not the brightest or the pedagogically most valuable idea, but it was an idea typical of a Malfoy and the way his family solved problems.

"I could be convinced to get you a better broom, and raise your monthly allowance," Lucius offered. "We might consider Harry a 'job', like when you help your mother sort through her dresses or me with the finances, and if you do this job well you are certainly entitled to a little bonus."

Draco narrowed his eyes in calculation. "Fifty percent more and a Firebolt."

"Thirty percent and a Nimbus 2003," Lucius bargained.

"The Nimbus 2003 isn't any good, father," Draco answered derisively. "I might as well take your old Comet."

"Very well, twenty-five percent, a Firebolt and new gloves, but only if you treat Harry with care and respect and put your rivalry to rest. You'll get the raise immediately and the Firebolt at the start of term if I haven't heard any complaints about your behaviour until then."

"Deal." Draco grinned, holding out his hand. "I'll treat Potter like the bloody princess he now is."

"Language, Draco," Lucius admonished reflexively, but relaxed. "I know this is not how you planned to spend your holidays, but it is not Harry's fault, as I think you know."

"Yes, father." Draco sighed. "And I agreed, didn't I? Potter won't be able to wish for someone better. I just hope this situation won't be permanent..."

"Albus and I will be trying to find someone else as soon as possible, but you must be prepared to take care of Harry for some time," Lucius returned.

"Joy!" Draco muttered. "Are we there yet, father?"

Lucius sent him another stern look before he nodded, pointing at the small one family house with a white fence surrounding the too neat garden. He went up to the door and knocked imperiously, completely disregarding the door bell. Who knew what kind of sound the Muggles had installed? He didn't fancy having some annoying jingle grate on his already frayed nerves.

A booming voice sounded from inside the house through the door, "Open the door, freak!"

The older Malfoy arched his brow in surprise while his son merely snorted, giving the Muggle garden gnome peacefully decorating the stairs a vicious kick, sending it flying into the garden.

Harry, meanwhile, was trembling in fear. He fled from the kitchen and his red-faced uncle to open the door. When he had almost reached the door, he slowed. That smell, on the other side of the door. Strange, he couldn't remember ever smelling something like that before. He sniffed suspiciously and cautiously approached the door, but he couldn't refuse his uncle's orders; that went against his nature.

His nature? What was wrong with him?

The door handle felt cold under his sweaty hand, and Harry opened the door a crack. Heart hammering for some unknown reason, he carefully peeked through the gap, staring up at two tall, regal blonds he knew only too well.

"Mr. Potter, we've come to bring you to Hogwarts," Lucius Malfoy said. Foregoing any greeting as he gently pushed against the door, forcing Harry to step back. Harry really wanted nothing more than to shut the door in his and his son's face again; he took a half-step towards them to do so, raising his hand, when the older Malfoy's voice stopped him. "Leave the door open, Mr. Potter."

"Okay." Harry nodded, guiltily shrinking away from the door as if he had done something wrong, while his mind was screaming at him to do something, anything, like draw his wand or at least lift his head and look at them. Against his will, he heard himself whisper, "I'm scared..."

Draco started laughing at this confession. "This is almost worth it, Potter."

Harry whimpered, huddling into a corner, not even noticing as Lucius glared at his son before crouching down next to him. "Harry, it's all right. Dumbledore will explain everything once we're back at Hogwarts." Lucius carefully lifted the small youth into his arms, scooping him up with utmost care and rocking him lightly; Harry's weight was but a small burden. "You don't have to be scared."

"What is wrong with me?" Harry sobbed.

"Not now, Harry. When we are at Hogwarts," Lucius said patiently but firmly. "Draco, pack his things."

Draco scowled, but accioed Harry's things, pushing them into his trunk without much care. "Can we go then? It smells awful in here."

Lucius had to silently agree. The smell of burnt bacon and disinfection spray was strong in the air.

Harry whimpered, and Lucius turned his attention back on him. "Harry, try to relax. We'll be in Hogwarts soon."

"How can I trust you?" Harry asked while he happily snuggled into Lucius' chest.

"Dumbledore sent us," Lucius murmured soothingly, cradling Harry to his chest and taking a calming breath as Harry nuzzled against him. "Now close your eyes."

Harry did so immediately, and Lucius held out a delicate silver chain to his son. He activated the portkey as soon as Draco had taken a hold of it, and the three of them were whisked away to Hogwarts. The portkey deposited them in the Headmaster's office, where the Headmaster and his Deputy, Professor McGonagall, were already waiting.

Harry felt strangely safe in Lucius' arms, but even that couldn't quench the panic that rose in his chest. Everyone was staring at him! He whimpered quietly.

"Harry, my dear boy," Dumbledore's cheery voice startled him out of his misery, but when Lucius put him down on the sofa, he couldn't help but start to tremble piteously, tightening his grip on the blond man's expensive black robes. "I imagine you have some questions."

When Lucius just gently pried his hands from his robes and then turned away to take a seat in a nearby armchair, Harry curled into a tight ball. "What is wrong with me?" He sniffed. "Why do I have wings? Why are my ears pointy? And why am I so scared?"

"Ah, those are interesting questions, Harry." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Lemon drop, perhaps?"

Harry shook his head mutely.

"Well then, perhaps I should just tell you what has happened." The Headmaster leaned back in his chair, pensively twirling his beard. "You see, Harry, I've suspected something like this would happen, but with James and Lily dead there was no-one to confirm it, and I thought it best not to worry you unnecessarily. I'm sure you will soon get used to the new situation and see the advantages. You truly are your parents' son."

"Why?" Harry whispered nervously. "Am I ill or something? Do I have some genetic disease?"

"No, nothing of that kind, my dear boy," Dumbledore chuckled. "Quite the opposite actually. Though, of course, it always depends on how you look at it-"

"For Merlin's Sake, Albus," McGonagall interrupted. "Just tell the boy what has happened to him. This is not the right time to be cryptic."

"I thought I should ease him into the situation, my dear. No?" Albus replied, shrinking into his chair when faced with her glare and hard mouth. "No, I see. Perhaps that isn't the right course of action in this situation." He turned back to Harry, his eyes crinkling in worry and sympathy when they locked onto the boy's quivering form. "So I will be blunt. Harry, you are a magical creature, an elf to be more exact."

Harry merely stared at him, his mouth a small O, so he continued, "Your father was, as well. Most old, pureblood families have some creature blood running through their veins. In some families, it has been dormant for years, while in others the percentage of creature blood is so low it is no longer noticeable, which reduces the number of creatures very noticeably. But you, my dear boy, have inherited your father's heritage as well as your mother's."

"But she was Muggleborn..." Harry trailed off uncertainly; to him his current state didn't make any more sense after the Headmaster's words. Sure, now he knew why he had pointy ears and wings, but it did not explain in the least why he was so afraid of nothing: the few things Hermione had told him about elves always pictured them as strong warriors and wonderful artists.

"That is true, Harry." Dumbledore sighed, not even he was sure how he should explain this to Harry. "Lily was Muggleborn, however she was still a submissive. Harry, creatures are either submissive or dominant and while the dominant ones, like your father, look for a submissive to complete them, the submissive ones need a dominant to protect them and to channel their abilities. Since submissive creatures are rare, the dominants often bond with humans with a natural submissive inclination, like your father and your mother did. You are however not only a elf but a submissive elf..."

"But..." Harry couldn't believe it - no, he didn't want to believe it; he was supposed to defeat the Dark Lord! How was he going to fight Voldemort if he was scared by the presence of the people in this office?

"Being submissive has nothing to do with the power you hold, Harry," Dumbledore answered his unasked question. "Submissive elves are even rarer than other submissive creatures, like veelas or vampires, as that race is very dependent on a mate. Submissives in general, though, are more powerful than dominants, but to be able to control their power they're in need of a dominant creature to bond with them. Until you have bonded to a dominant you will feel frightened and lost. You will have to obey the commands of all dominants, regardless of their race, whether they be human or creature."

"But..." Harry said once again, feeling the panic inside him grow to a new height. He couldn't bond to someone he didn't know, because bonding, he knew, entailed sex, and he wasn't ready to have sex yet, as strange as that sounded from a seventeen-year-old.

"It is very important that you bond to a dominant creature, Harry," Dumbledore repeated, even more urgently, "but for another reason, as well. If someone should force you to bond with them, you will never feel safe, but you will still have to protect them. That is what I fear Voldemort will do if he finds out about this; he will try to force you to bond with him. I understand this is a lot to take in, but it's very important for your own safety that you bond as soon as possible to prevent Voldemort from using you. Do you understand me?"

Harry nodded obediently. "Yes, Professor Dumbledore."

"You can't ask a question like that, Albus," Professor McGonagall scolded. "You know he can hardly refuse you, least of all in a situation like this." She turned, her features softening somewhat, when she took in Harry's expression. "Mr. Potter, do you have anymore questions?"

"Can't I just take a potion like Remus to neutralise the effects?" Harry asked hopefully.

Dumbledore sighed deeply. "No, Harry, I fear that is not an option. You're an elf **all** the time, not just once a month, and, even if there was a potion, it would eventually kill the elf and therefore you. Concerning Professor Lupin, there is something else you should know. He is, as you know, a werewolf. Submissives, submissive elves in particular, have excellent perception when it comes to telling dark creatures from light. Elves are amongst the purest creatures, while werewolves are dark. As such, I fear you will be even more afraid of Professor Lupin than you are of other dominant creatures."

"But, Remus is my family," Harry begged desperately. "I can't be afraid of him. I know he would never hurt me. Why should I fear him?"

"Knowing something and feeling something are two entirely different things, Harry," the elderly wizard stated softly. "Depending on how much your mate trusts Professor Lupin, you will be able to overcome your fear, but at the moment you will have to accept that fact."

Harry sent him a weak glare. "Why, if I'm supposedly so powerful, why should I depend on someone else? I don't want to be a submissive, I'm not like that. I'm not weak-willed, and I don't want anyone to protect me. I can look after myself, I don't need someone who tells me what to do!"

"Harry, I understand your concerns, but in this case your nature is stronger than your character. You cannot decide whether you want to be submissive or dominant."

"The hell I can't!" Harry exclaimed, jumping up, his hands tightened into fists. "Who is to force me if I'm as powerful as you say?"

"Harry, please calm down, and we will try to explain everything to you." Dumbledore appeasingly raised his hands. "Would you feel better if young Mr. Malfoy sat next to you?"

"No!" Harry all but shouted. "Why would that make me feel better?"

"Simply because Mr. Malfoy is a dominant veela and will take care of you."

"Fat chance!" Harry hissed. "Why does he get to be a dominant? If one of us is a sissy, it's him."

"Mr. Potter, I will not tolerate such language from one of my students," Professor McGonagall rebuked him, her eyes narrowing in disapproval. "I expect to hear an apology or Mr. Filch will have some help with cleaning out the toilets."

"I'm sorry, Malfoy," Harry pressed out. "What I meant to say was that it doesn't make much sense to me Malfoy here would be a dominant, if I'm not."

"Harry, please take a seat," Dumbledore prompted, and Harry reluctantly sank back onto the sofa. "I cannot tell you why you were chosen to be a submissive, but I don't think I have to convince you that it is the case. A dominant creature would not feel as afraid, not as insecure, and would not long so much for someone to take care of them."

"But I don't need anyone!" Harry protested. "This is stupid. How would Malfoy be able to protect me, when I'm stronger?"

"I think, Harry, it was nature's way of assuring that so much power would not be abused," Dumbledore stated. "You have to learn how to serve before you can rule, or you become like Voldemort."

"Serve?" Harry echoed incredulously. "I'm supposed to **serve** Malfoy of all people? I think I'd rather live in fear, thank you very much."

"Not serve, Potter," Draco said in a surprisingly civil tone. "I will merely help you to channel your abilities, take away the fear."

"Yeah, right, and Voldemort is a really nice guy," Harry rolled his eyes, drawing his knees up to his chest in a protective gesture. Somehow, it didn't feel right to contradict Malfoy, and now that he had calmed down he felt the familiar panic settle back in his chest. "Why would you do that? There's nothing in it for you."

"In fact there is," Draco offered neutrally. "Father promised me a new broom."

"Oh. So you didn't even find someone who would do it willingly, huh? I'll always be a burden to someone?" Harry asked sadly.

"No, Harry, you misunderstand us," Lucius intervened, pulling Harry into his arms to offer him comfort. "Submissives have a soothing influence on dominants, they bring out our protective instincts. Draco and you simply don't complement each other. I guess too much has happened between you. But I can assure you anyone would want a submissive elf as their mate."

"But no-one wants me," Harry stated bitterly. "They might want me because I have powers they want to control and because I will have to protect my mate. They don't want **me**."

No one had a reply to this and so Harry struggled from Lucius' embrace and slipped out of the office to find a quiet place where he could think things over.

"I had hoped he would take it better," Dumbledore mused. "But with your help, Mr. Malfoy, he will surely settle into his new life."

"I will do what I can to help him, Headmaster," Draco answered evenly.

"I'm sure you will, my boy, though your motivation may not be the best." Dumbledore looked at Lucius in disapproval.

"You knew the doubts I had and still have concerning this arrangement, Albus," Lucius replied. "In the long run, I think it will be better that Draco is motivated thus, than not at all."

"Indeed, Lucius," Dumbledore admitted. "But this does not prevent me from wishing it were different."

"With all due respect, Headmaster," Draco spoke up, "but if you want someone who wants Potter for himself, you had better find someone else. In fact, I would appreciate it, if you found someone else regardless."

"I will, certainly, my boy. But with so few creatures left, and even fewer who are firmly and loyally Light, it might take a while," Dumbledore answered. "Harry must not fall into the hands of a Death Eater. Besides, I'm sure, Lucius will support you, won't you?" The elder Malfoy inclined his head. "Excellent. Maybe you could explain everything else to him, Lucius? He seemed to feel rather more comfortable in your presence, and you know more about these things, anyway. Perhaps Narcissa could speak to him too, and tell Harry things from a submissive's point of view?" Dumbledore clapped his hands happily at his own suggestion.

"Yes, Albus." Lucius sighed; damn, why had he ever changed sides? The Dark Lord would never ask something like this of him - _no, he would only torture you within an inch of your life_ - Oh, yes, that was why he had converted.

Dumbledore once again clapped his hands before declaring he had business at the Ministry to attend to, and vanishing through the floo network, leaving the two Malfoys and Professor McGonagall in his office.

The Transfiguration professor stared at the two Malfoys disapprovingly, as if she blamed this whole situation on them, before she too strutted from the room.

After he had put up several privacy spells (the Malfoy family had a reputation to uphold, after all) Lucius turned furiously on his son. "Draco, this is not what I would consider taking good care of Harry. Our deal was to be between us, and not a way for you to demonstrate to Harry how little you care about his well-being."

"Since when is honesty no longer the best policy, father?" Draco asked innocently. "Potter is many things, but stupid is not one of them. He would only have been suspicious if I had told him that I was doing this out of the goodness of my heart or for his sake. At least, now we both know what we're at."

"Harry is going through a difficult time, Draco-"

"I'm aware of it, father, but he's still Potter, as he just demonstrated."

"From now on, you will treat him like any other submissive: with respect, care, and consideration. Otherwise, you can forget about that Firebolt."

"I plan to," Draco answered testily. "Who died and made you Potter's keeper, anyway? You're awfully concerned about his well-being."

"He is a submissive, Draco, and you well know that the Malfoy family has always prided itself on the way we treat submissives. It is our duty, our privilege to be the perfect dominants. No one ever dared to question this, and even if I supported Voldemort I would still do my best to protect a submissive in need. I will not break with this tradition and neither will you."

"Yes, father." Draco sighed.

"But Potter is not like a submissive should be. He's so... totally unsubmissive." Lucius' lips quirked. "I want a submissive like Mother, beautiful and classy and submissive to me."

Lucius chuckled, clasping his son's shoulder. "Your mother is not quite as submissive as you might think, though I admit Harry and Cissa are quite different in regards to looks and manner."

"See," Draco answered triumphantly. "Then why are you forcing me to do look after Potter, when I could be looking for my own mate?"

"You have not felt your mate yet, have you, Draco? Chances are you will not feel the pull for a couple of years as your mate has most likely not come of age yet. Think about this experience as training, or as a way to polish up your reputation, if that pleases you more. Harry will be grateful, too. The sooner he feels comfortable and regains his self-confidence, the sooner he will be able to face the Dark Lord and end this war. We cannot loose this war, Draco."

"I won't lose the war, father," Draco replied in a strange tone of voice that sounded almost like a threat. "Shouldn't we look for everyone's favourite hero?"

"I will look for him while you fetch your mother, Draco." Lucius motioned to the fireplace dismissively, while walking towards the door. "I'm sure she will have something to say about your attitude."

Draco groaned, and Lucius chuckled, closing the door behind him.

Draco slowly took floo powder from the box on the mantle piece and let the powder trickle into the fireplace before he suddenly moved very fast, grasping his left arm, and murmured something under his breath, disappearing in the green flames. The only one who noticed this curious behaviour was Fawkes, who had watched everything unfold with something akin to suspicion in his eyes. Sometimes his human was far too trusting.

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_You do know that feedback on the first chapter is about the most important thing for a fanfiction author, right? Well, then, what are you waiting for?_


	2. The Roles We Play

_Disclaimer: See first chapter._

_Author's Note: Thank you for all your encouraging reviews, if you keep that up I'll be happy *wink*. So here's the next chapter, and yes, I realise it's quite a bit shorter than the first one, but the chapter wanted to end there..._

_Beta(s): jharad17, who also proofread this chapter. Thank you.  
Adah Eyes, thank you for all the trouble you went through just to get my chapters back to me. Your handwriting was fine.  
Blaithin-mae, thank you, hope you like the next chapter._

* * *

**2. THE ROLES WE PLAY**

After Lucius had left the office, he followed Harry's scent to where the small boy was curled up in a dark corner not far from the Headmaster's office, his wings protectively wrapped around him like a cocoon.

"Hello, Harry." Lucius carefully lowered himself to the ground next to the trembling little elf, though not touching. Harry needed to come to him, to start to trust him on his own, not just be calmed by his embrace. "How are you feeling?"

"Scared." Harry sniffed. "I can't feel anything else because I'm so scared. I wanted to be angry, and I wanted to run away, but when I got here, I was too scared to go on."

"That's because you distanced yourselves from us, Harry," Lucius said gently. "As long as a dominant creature is near you, you won't feel this frightened. We can balance your emotions, offer you safety. That's why Draco is supposed to take care of you."

"He scares me even more," Harry admitted, curling tighter in preparation of a punishment for his insolence.

"I know Draco's honesty did not help to make you feel better," Lucius soothed. "But he also has a hard time accepting you as a submissive, but he knows submissives are to be treated with respect, that they are precious. You are precious, Harry."

"I'm not," Harry sniffed. "I'm a burden-"

"Don't say that, little elf," Lucius admonished him, and Harry's mouth snapped shut. "Draco only knows you as his rival-"

"And you don't know me at all," Harry mumbled, burying deeper under his wings.

"You're right, Harry," Lucius admitted. "But I'd like to get to know you, will you allow that?"

"Why?"

"Because I've heard so many good things about you, Harry. Because I think you are an intelligent, compassionate, brave young man. And because, as a dominant, I have the urge to protect you, as does Draco, even though he doesn't want to admit it."

Harry sniffed miserably, carefully peeking over his wings at the handsome blond. "Why does he have to be the one to... protect me? He doesn't like me, and I don't like him either - much," he added the last word hastily, afraid to offend the blond veela, but Lucius gave him an encouraging smile, nodding in understanding.

"Harry, I guess you wished one of your friends could take care of you? Mr. Weasley or one of his brothers, perhaps?"

Harry nodded hesitantly, but with hope rising in his chest. Surely the Weasleys would welcome him in their family, as they had always done. Mrs. Weasley had said often enough he was like a son to her, and they all liked him, didn't they?

"I'm afraid, though, this is not possible," Lucius continued. "You need not only a dominant, but you need a dominant **creature**."

"But that's not fair," Harry protested. "Humans can order me around, but..."

"... they cannot make you feel safe or help you to channel your abilities, no, which is why you need Draco, for now," Lucius answered. "There are few creatures left anymore. Less submissives than dominants, that is true, but dominants aren't exactly numerous, either. The Weasleys have no noticeable creature blood, and though I know some dominant creatures, they are not..."

"They are Death Eaters?" Harry offered cautiously, and Lucius nodded.

"I promise, we will find you a nice dominant. My wife is already working on it. But until then, Draco will take care of you-"

"Why can't you take care of me?" Harry all but whined, not ready to give up yet. "You are a veela, too, aren't you?"

"Yes, Harry, but I'm already bonded," Lucius said as consolingly as possible, though he knew Harry would take this as a rejection.

"I'm sorry," Harry whimpered, once again hiding in his cocoon of black feathers.

"No, Harry." Despite his earlier decision, the Malfoy patriarch once again took the shivering little creature in his arms, and Harry in turn folded his wings lightly around Lucius. "It was your right to ask. I understand this must be very confusing, and you are bound to have questions. You have to believe I would gladly take care of you until Dumbledore finds you a suitable mate, but, as it is, submissive veelas are very jealous. Narcissa would feel betrayed if I looked after you, and I wouldn't be able to give you all the attention you need."

"But I didn't mean it like that," Harry protested, blushing brightly.

"I know, Harry." Lucius chuckled. "But Narcissa will feel threatened even if I spend more time than absolutely necessary with another sub. It's how veelas are. She could do nothing else. Just as you can do nothing about feeling frightened and taking our words to heart."

"Nature really messed up with me," Harry muttered darkly. "It's not normal to be like this. It's like someone put a leash on my feelings and was dragging me away from all reasonable thoughts and emotions to fear, panic and guilt. I shouldn't feel like I did something wrong, and I shouldn't care if you're happy with me or not, but I am, and it's annoying," Harry ranted, pulling his hair.

"Earlier I said submissives have a soothing influence on dominants," Lucius said softly. "Thus, your emotions are intoned to ours. You feel the need to make dominants happy, just as we feel the need to protect submissives. It's an interplay, Harry. It's not as one-sided as it now seems."

Harry grumbled. "It's still stupid. Balance of powers, or whatever Dumbledore was trying to say! It's merely the surest way of getting me killed. No wonder there are so few creatures, it's completely uneconomic! Don't you hate being a creature, Sir?"

"I did in the very beginning, when my parents told me what it entailed," the blond answered pensively. "Creatures don't have as much control over their feelings and instincts as humans have, but just as our feelings are the key to our magic, our magic is much stronger than that of an average wizard. Also, we have mates, another being who is destined to be with us and to complete us. We do not need to go through several unsuccessful marriages before finding the right person."

"But Dumbledore said..."

"Yes, but in this case, Albus' beliefs are too simplistic: just take a dominant and a submissive and everything is splendid." Lucius carefully pulled Harry closer when he felt the trembling start again. "All creatures have a mate, but it is the task of the dominant to find the submissive. You can be bonded to anyone else, even against your will. Though you, too, have a chosen mate, it is not necessary for you to bond with him. You can be happy with another dominant who really loves you, and you won't feel any loss. Or you can be used by someone who doesn't love you, and slowly die because of it."

"But what if I'm not Draco's mate?"

"I would say the chances are rather high you're not, Harry. Now, Draco could easily bond to you and once he finds his true mate he bonds to them, too." Lucius caressed Harry's face, brushing away the crystal tears. "But that won't happen, Harry. We'll find your mate, don't worry. At the moment, it's more important you learn to get used to your new situation."

Harry pulled back to look into the older man's eyes, wishing his action was with due suspicion and not with the trust he felt for the blond wizard. "Why are you being so nice to me, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Because we are on the same side now," Lucius replied, a second time. "I really changed sides after the Dark Lord's fall. Everyone seems to assume I spent a lot of money to get out of Azkaban, which is only partially true. The full truth is I told everything I knew to save my life and that of my family. I've been a spy ever since. You play an important role in this war, whether you want to or not. The second reason is that you need my help. Normally subs are taken care of by their families until they find the right dominant, but as your parents obviously can't do that for you, and as you have no others to help you, the Malfoy family has taken on that responsibility."

"Why?"

"My wife has... let's say a connection with your parents and though it's not really obligatory, it's a matter of honour." For the first time Lucius seemed slightly uncomfortable, and Harry immediately felt guilty. "It's not really important."

"Okay." Harry snuggled into the tall blond, simply glad he wouldn't be punished. "Thank you."

Lucius had just decided he needed to take Harry to his new rooms when an angry screech nearby roused Harry from slumber, making him whimper in fright as his wings enveloped the two of them protectively.

Over Harry's shoulder, Lucius could see his enraged, beautiful wife - she was always the most breathtaking when she was furious. She stormed towards them, screaming and seething. Her eyes were pools of deep blue fire, burning and freezing at the same time.

How he loved her!

Grasping Lucius roughly, she dragged him to his feet. As she tried to dislodge the small elf in his arms without success, her long rose-coloured fingernails dug through his cloak. "Lucius, I left you alone for two hours, and already you found someone else. You make me sick!"

"Cissa," Lucius attempted to soothe her, looking at her with adoration and love in his eyes; how could this beautiful creature belong to him? He could almost understand Draco reluctance to care for Harry. No one compared to his Narcissa. "You know I would never try to replace you. There's no-one who **could** replace you. You are my everything, my world, my..."

"Oh, shut up, Lucius!" she interrupted him, though she already was a little placated by his words. "If what you said was true, what is that little birdie doing in your arms? It would be just like you to build up his hopes."

"He's Harry Potter, Cissa. We talked about this," the silver-eyed wizard answered calmly. "He's our responsibility. You said so yourself, my darling, didn't you? You asked me to look after him. Have you changed your mind and now want me to leave a frightened sub alone?"

"No," Narcissa relented, looking guilty as she watched the small elf tremble more violently in her husband's arms, "but you could still set him down."

"I would be doing so, except..." Lucius held up his hands in surrender. "Harry, let go, please."

Immediately, Harry released his grip on the blond. His small body dropped to the floor, though it was hard to make out anything other than the big wings.

"Lucius, don't be so inconsiderate. You could have lowered him gently to the ground. He's in enough pain and confusion as it is," Narcissa chastised. She kneeled next to the other sub, motherly instinct taking the place of her jealousy. "Honey, shh, it's alright, you're safe."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you angry." Harry's wings loosened, allowing the elfish boy to look at the tall blond woman. To his eyes, when she did not have a sneer on her face, she looked like an angel, though whether an Avenging Angel instead of a Guardian Angel, he wasn't sure.

"It's okay, sweetie, I still know how it feels to be so unsure." Narcissa smiled winningly at the delicate creature at her feet, studying the soft, but still prominent features.

She was immediately spellbound by his brilliant green eyes, gazing at her with so much uncertainty and fear but also hope. Many shades of green swirled within their depths, making it impossible to give their colour a name. They were bright and luminescent, but so deep they beckoned one further and further into the green shadows, and for a moment Narcissa feared to get lost in them. But before this could happen, Harry averted his gaze, his sooty lashes fluttering against his porcelain cheeks until they obscured the better part of his eyes.

"You don't seem scared..." he murmured softly.

"That's because I'm already bonded, sweetheart. You'll feel better, too, once your mate is with you." Narcissa squeezed his hand reassuringly. "And veelas are not as dependent on their mates as elves. Would you like us to tell you more about your inheritance?"

Harry nodded shyly, a smile lighting up his face.

Lucius helped him to his feet before wrapping his arm around his wife's slender waist. Lucius then turned to his son, who had been watching them with a neutral expression. He lifted one eyebrow as he asked, "What took you so long, Draco?"

"We came as soon as possible, dear," Narcissa answered instead, gently pushing the small elf towards Draco despite his obvious reluctance. "Don't be shy, Harry. We don't bite." Her laugh was like the soft tinkling of a bell, the sweetest music Lucius had ever heard.

Draco rolled his eyes and smirked, but wrapped his arms around the slender Gryffindor, too tightly for Harry's comfort.

"Let's go to your new rooms, Harry," Lucius offered, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms tightly around the eternal beauty next to him and kiss her so deeply he would feel the taste of her on his lips for several days. "Dumbledore arranged them for you, so you won't have to stay alone in the Gryffindor Tower, and Draco can keep you company."

"That's nice of him," Harry murmured, trying to sound sincere, though he couldn't quite keep the sarcasm out of his voice, and while Narcissa laughed and Lucius sent him an encouraging smile, Draco's arm tightened around his waist, surely leaving bruises.

Harry sent him a look that had been intended as a glare but ended half way between. "I can walk on my own, thank you, Malfoy."

"You know, you're not exactly making this easier." Draco shrugged, arched an eyebrow at his father, but dropped his arm.

The small procession moved along the deserted corridors, down the equally deserted stairs, until they reached another long staircase. The staircase was hidden behind the tapestry of a forest that seemed to hold many hidden secrets and creatures, even though Harry couldn't see any of them. The staircase spiralled up as high as the Astronomy tower and ended in the most amazing room Harry had ever seen. All the furniture, walls, and floor were made of a nice-smelling wood and the carpet and the wallpapers were of a light blue colour that reminded Harry of the sky the moment before it started snowing.

"How... cozy," Draco said with a contemptuous look around the room.

"I like it," Harry offered timidly.

"You would, wouldn't you?" Draco muttered, too low for Narcissa or Lucius to hear.

Harry whimpered.

"Oh, dear, there's no need to be frightened," Narcissa tried to comfort him. "Why don't you sit down, so that we may talk? Draco, come, I'm sure Harry would appreciate your presence. After all, an unfamiliar room isn't the best precondition for feeling safe."

"I'm not sure that Mal... erm, Draco is a good precondition, either, Mrs. Malfoy," Harry protested weakly.

Narcissa furrowed her brow. "You know, Harry, there is not much Draco can do to help you if you block all his attempts. You will have to work together."

"Come now, Potter. What do you want me to do?" Draco demanded. "Should I promise not to embarrass you or something like that?"

"It would be a start," Harry admitted.

"Fine, I promise, and I also promise to do my best to make this work, if you do the same."

Harry gnawed his bottom lip, but nodded reluctantly. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to try."

"Exactly, so may I sit next to you?" Draco asked impatiently.

"Go ahead," Harry murmured, dropping on the far edge of a loveseat, and breathing a sigh of relief when Draco put an arm around him, not painfully this time, but almost comforting.

He had the stupid urge to snuggle into him. He still didn't like the younger Malfoy, and a part of him was shouting at him not to let his guard down, that Malfoy couldn't be trusted, yet a bigger part wanted him to trust the Malfoy heir unconditionally and told him that suspicion and mistrust toward a dominant was totally out of line. He felt calmer with Malfoy's arm around him, though not as safe as with Malfoy Senior.

"Then we can talk, Harry." Narcissa smiled. "What would you like to know first? I'm sure you have questions. I certainly did, and I grew up with the knowledge that I might be a veela."

"I don't know..." Harry said timidly.

"Well, we'll just tell you a little bit of everything, honey," Narcissa said kindly. "There's not much known about elves, especially submissive elves. They're said to be very peace-loving and don't like to see someone hurt or die, though the dominants can react viciously to threats on their family and mates, like almost all creatures. The dominants, like your father, are great warriors, though their aim always has been peace. Because of that, elves were often sent into war zones as mediators in old times. They also can hold a grudge longer than is probably reasonable, and once you're on their bad side, it's difficult, if not impossible, to get back into their good graces.

"Elves are creatures of nature, and it has even been rumoured they can change the weather with the force of their feelings, though that claim was never substantiated. Elves have a special connection to other creatures and animals, sometimes stronger and sometimes weaker. If I remember correctly, your father was always one of the best in Care of Magical Creatures, especially after he came into his inheritance. They also have a talent for building and mending things, as well as for healing. Another rumour is that submissives have control over the elements, and an enraged submissive's ire is said to be a deadly force which no-one has ever survived."

Harry snorted. "No wonder Dumbledore is so fucking happy about this." He blanched as soon as the words left his mouth. "Sorry."

Lucius chuckled. "No need to be. Albus can be rather annoying with his cheerfulness. Would you like to hear some more?"

Harry nodded and the older blond continued, "You will need a dominant to help you with your powers. I can't tell you exactly how your behaviour and your feelings will change after you have bonded, but in general, subs feel more sure of themselves once they have done so, and as you already know, they will always protect their mates. You will gradually become aware of your abilities, mostly in times of need. For instance, your wings will protect you from most curses, but you won't be able to control them for a while yet. You will not be able to fight, disobey or even disbelieve a strong dominant creature's words, though depending on the strength of the dominant, you can choose to... misunderstand them."

"Misunderstand them, Sir?"

"I'll give you an example, but call me Lucius."

"Okay, Lucius."

"See? What I obviously meant was that you should call me Lucius in the future, but if you really wanted to, you could call me Lucius once and be done with it," Lucius explained gently. "As long as the order isn't specific, you can 'misunderstand' it, although I really do want you to call me Lucius, understood?"

"Okay." Harry smiled timidly and then yawned, the excitement and stress of the day finally catching up with him.

"You seem tired, honey," Narcissa noted, amused. "Maybe you should think of a few more questions to ask us tomorrow. Draco will stay with you."

"Why?"

"Because, Potter, you need me," Draco stated, sounding bored and a bit exasperated.

"We talked about this, Harry." Lucius hugged the young man gently while he held his wife's right hand. "I would take care of you if it were possible. You will be safe here." He leaned in even closer, whispering directly in Harry's ear. "You have to tell me if Draco doesn't treat you well, even if it's just one word."

The small elf nodded, reluctantly letting go. "Thank you."

Harry watched the two older blonds close the door behind them, then watched with a sense of dread as Malfoy spelled the door locked and sound-proof.

He took a step back, but before he could do anything else, a hard, unforgiving hand closed around his throat, pushing him against the door, lifting him off his feet so he was on eye-level with the Malfoy heir.

"Now, listen to me, Potter," Draco grinned, seeing the fear in those big green eyes; _kind of gorgeous_, he noted with mild interest. "Unlike my father, I still know who my loyalty belongs to, and you'll know soon enough, as well. You will obey me, you will not question me, and you will not tell anyone of what happens here or what I tell you, understood? And no more of those demonstrations of mistrust, it's getting annoying."

Harry wanted to tell him that not even all the gold in Gringotts and the natural (but quite painful) death of Voldemort could persuade him to be a slave for such an idiot, but all that escaped his mouth was a frightened whimper, and on top of that, his head also jerked in agreement.

"I'm sure we'll have lots fun then, Potter." Draco smirked, squeezing Harry's throat once more for good measure, before letting go so suddenly Harry fell to the floor in a trembling little heap. "At least until the Dark Lord finds a better use for you..."

"But you promised!" Harry whispered, whimpering when Draco glared at him.

"Just for show, for the fool who calls himself my father. He thinks I'm still a spoilt, immature child so that will be exactly what he will get. An immature and spoilt, but all in all good child. I'm the perfect son, Potter," Draco mocked. "But why should I keep my word to a Mudblood like you? Besides, I never said what I would make work..." He laughed, and a shiver ran over Harry's body. "And now, lick my shoes!"

_*ducks flying objects* Erm... sorry? I guess you don't feel like reviewing, do you? I might deserve that, but stop throwing objects!_


	3. Lick My Shoes

_Disclaimer: See first chapter._

_Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait, but I had to do a presentation and had absolutely no motivation so I always put it off and put it off and finally did it last night. Not the smartest move and now I'm kind of tired, but responsibility is overrated, anyway, right? Whatever, I didn't update because that would be admitted that I wasn't working on my presentation and so you had to wait... Sorry again. _

_**Warnings for this chapter: abuse, violence, molestation** (though, I tried to keep it mostly non-graphic)_

_Beta(s): Ada Eyes, thank you dear.  
Blaithin-mae, though she didn't answer me yet. But it's the thought that counts :-). You know you have to send me back the chapter or you won't get the next one..._

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**3. LICK MY SHOES**

_Lick my shoes. Lick my shoes._ The words still resounded in Harry's head whenever he looked at Draco, shuddered through his body when Draco touched him. _Lick my shoes._ Those words set the course for Harry's next week. He was humiliated, he was punished, he was abused, and he could do nothing against it; the few times he had rebelled it only had made it worse.

Outside of their rooms, Draco acted like the perfect gentleman: he was gentle and respectful in the way he addressed Harry and soon even his father's suspicion seemed to evaporate. Whenever Harry was scared of something, the blond would take him in his arms and Harry was the only one who noticed that his hands were bruising and punishing him for the disturbance. Whenever someone looked at them suspiciously, Draco would smile at Harry in blatant adoration until they were pacified. Whenever someone tried to get near to Harry, the Slytherin pretended to be jealous and they were soon left alone.

But as soon as they were back in Harry's prison, because not even the homey atmosphere that had first drawn him to his rooms could cover the horrors he had to face there, Malfoy wanted to be addressed as Master. After he had punished Harry for the troubles he had caused during the day, he would come up with countless new ways to torture and degrade the small Gryffindor.

At first it had been petty things: licking his boots and declaring his absolute authority, acting like a monkey for the blond's amusement, serving him hand to foot, but soon his orders had become more and more vicious as he obviously warmed up to his new task. Soon, Harry wasn't allowed to stand anymore, then he wasn't allowed to wear clothes either and whenever his wings came out to hide his nudity, Draco would hit him with curses, both verbal and magical until he was a whimpering pile and wouldn't even have protested if Draco allowed it.

From time to time, there was another, gentler, almost loving Draco, who took him in his arms, pulled a blanket over him and rocked him carefully, crooning in his ear. Harry didn't know if he liked this Draco better, since he never stayed long, and afterwards Draco was even more violent, as if to make up for his earlier gentleness, but whenever Draco touched him with such care it felt like something inside was mending again, smoothing over the edges Draco's usual words and actions had left on his soul.

He wanted to hate Draco, wanted to hurt and humiliate him as he did to Harry. He wanted to show him that he wasn't weak or pathetic, that he deserved something better than satisfying Draco's sick desires, but a part of him wouldn't allow it. He wasn't allowed to have negative feelings towards a dominant and so it was only his mind that feebly tried to protect his sanity.

_Lick my shoes._

*_*_*

"Harry, my dear boy." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled in greeting as he stopped them in the corridors. "How have you been doing? Is everything all right?"

"Yes." Harry nodded lifelessly, Draco's hand resting on his bruised stomach, telling him exactly what would happen should he choose to give another answer. "I'm fine."

"Ah, I see, I'm glad you're adjusting so well." The Headmaster smiled at him, and Harry wished he could smile back with more honesty than he did. "Do you feel up to seeing your friends? Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley asked to be allowed to visit you today."

"Yes," Harry shouted immediately, before Draco could make another decision for him, and the hold on him tightened.

"I'll send them by." Dumbledore chuckled. "Maybe you could help your godfather in the meantime, Mr. Malfoy. I think I remember him complaining about the huge amount of potions he is to brew for the infirmary... but on the other hand, that's nothing new, is it? Why don't I accompany you to your rooms and wait with Harry until his friends arrive? This way you can enjoy a bit of carefree time..."

"That's not a problem, Headmaster." Draco smiled politely. "Harry is very good company. It doesn't bother me at all."

"Not so modest, my dear boy," Dumbledore stated cheerfully. "It must be hard to put all your differences aside, you deserve a break. And who knows when the next chance will arise."

"Tell him that you want to spend more time with me," Draco whispered harshly in Harry's ear, making a shiver run down his spine and his wings tremble under the surface.

He took a deep breath; this could be the only chance he had. Hermione would catch on, and then she could tell someone who could really do something about it. Even if it was merely one afternoon without Draco, he was sure it would be enough to prevent his spirit from cracking for a while longer.

"I want to spend more time with me," Harry whispered. "It'd be nice to live my own life again."

Dumbledore happily clapped his hands, though if either of the boys had bothered to look closer, they would have seen suspicion flare in his wise eyes. But as it was Harry was staring at the floor and his shoes and was trying to hold back his whimpers because his Master would be even angrier if he whimpered now, and maybe Draco would manage to convince Dumbledore Harry had said this, because he didn't want to be a burden to Draco.

But before Draco could protest, Dumbledore pushed the blond boy towards the staircase with finality. "I'll take good care of your Harry, don't worry, Mr. Malfoy."

Harry could feel Malfoy's cold eyes boring into the back of his skull, could feel his overbearing presence, the presence of an enraged dominant, all the way to his prison. Not even after Dumbledore had closed the door after them could he get rid of his fear. This was where Draco's treatment was worst. How could he relax, even though his Master wasn't there? He was alone, without a dominant creature, how could he be safe?

"No need to be so nervous, my dear boy," Dumbledore said jovially. "Your friends should be here any minute now - Ah, right on cue," he continued happily as Ron stepped through the fire, almost immediately followed by Hermione. "I'll leave you three alone, I'm sure you have much to discuss. Just remember, Harry, you can always come to me if something is bothering you."

"Thank you, Sir," Harry mumbled, though he knew that it wasn't an option; Draco had strictly forbidden him to tell anyone.

Dumbledore either didn't seem to notice or wasn't prepared to accept the possibility that one of his plans hadn't worked out, and twinkled at the three of them before leaving the once cozy rooms.

"Hey, mate, sucks to be you, doesn't it?" Ron, if possible had grown another three inches, making him look even more gangly; he smiled at the much smaller Gryffindor before pulling him to his chest and ruffling his hair affectionately. "What is Dumbledore thinking, having you live with Malfoy? The bastard treats you right, doesn't he? I swear if he doesn't I will..."

"Oh, honestly, Ron," Hermione interrupted him with her best authoritative voice. "You should be mature enough to overcome your childish grudge. Dumbledore surely has his reasons, and Harry needs someone to take care of him, don't you, Harry?" She also hugged the small elf, kissing his cheek lightly, which made Harry blush.

"Yes, I need someone to take care of me," he said softly, and he could see Hermione drawing her eyebrows together.

"Doesn't he treat you right, Harry?" she asked suspiciously. "I read veelas are very passionate and loving creatures. Is he putting pressure on you? Is he moving too fast for your liking?"

"Everything just happened kind of overnight, Mione," Harry murmured lowly, trying to somehow make her see that he wasn't treated okay, that Draco was an outright bastard, that he was close to breaking. "Help me, Mione." He looked up pleadingly at her. "Help me, make some tea, please?"

Hermione's brow furrowed even further, and Ron seemed to be a bit suspicious as they followed Harry into the small kitchen, where he was already busy setting the kettle on the plate.

"Harry, you can tell us if something is wrong." Ron carefully approached the silent boy. "And something is wrong, isn't it? What aren't you telling us?"

Harry kept silent; he wasn't allowed to tell them.

"Can you write it down, Harry?" Hermione offered, already shuffling through her robe pocket.

"There is nothing to write down," Harry said softly, clenching his hands into fists; Master had barred that escape as well. "Help me with the tea, please?"

"Damnit, Harry, you can't be serious!" Ron exclaimed. "We aren't blind. There is something wrong!"

"Stop shouting, Ron," Hermione admonished him, motioning to Harry. "You aren't making this easier on Harry."

"But, Mione..."

Hermione ignored him and turned to the slender elf. "Harry, I'm going to make some wild guesses now, and you give us a sign if I hit the nail on the head, okay?" Harry nodded almost imperceptibly.

"You would rather someone else would take care of you." Harry slammed one of the cups down on the counter.

"Malfoy forbid you to tell us what is wrong." A second cup followed.

"The Malfoys are still Death Eaters," Ron concluded, but Harry kept perfectly still.

"So it's only Draco," Hermione said after a while, and the last cup shattered on the floor. "Merlin, Harry what is he doing to you?"

It was now or never. Harry reached for the kettle with the boiling hot water and turned around to face them before he deliberately poured the scalding hot water over his left hand. "Help me," he whispered. "Help me, please."

He dropped to the floor beside the broken cup and started to mop up the water.

"Stop this, Harry, you are hurting yourself," Ron said authoritatively, gathering his trembling best friend in his arms. "We will get you out of here, I promise, okay?"

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," a cold voice interrupted. "Potter, if either of them says anything to Dumbledore, one of the professors or my parents, you will kill yourself, is that understood?"

"Yes, Master." Harry whimpered, making himself as small as possible.

"Good little slut," Malfoy mocked him. "Come here."

Harry scrambled to obey, crawling towards his Master as tears cascaded down his cheeks. He sobbed loudly as Ron tried to stop him.

"Now, Weasel, Mudblood, let me make something clear to you," the veela continued in a sickly sweet voice, pressing his manicured fingernails into Harry's burnt hand. "If you should be so foolish as to tell someone about this little incident, Potter will pay for it. If you so much as glare at me, Potter will pay for it. If I get injured in any shape or form, Potter will pay for it. And if you make the same mistake as Potter and try to hint at what happened, Potter will pay for it. And now go, Potter still needs to be punished for his insolence today. Don't you, bitch?"

"Yes, Master." Harry shook with suppressed sobs.

He had disobeyed and displeased the dominant - he needed to be punished. He didn't deserve to live because he had caused his Master so many problems.

Ron's face had turned an angry red, and he was ready to retort, but Hermione clasped her hand around his and dragged him towards the door. "You will not get through with this," she spat, drawing her wand in the same second, intent on cursing the blond into the next century and from there straight to the depths of hell.

What she hadn't counted on though were Draco's veela senses and so the blond was the first to say his spell.

"_Obliviate__!_" he whispered, two times in quick succession, while at the same time forcing his face into a gentle smile. "It is a pity that you already have to go, Hermione, Ronald. I hope you will be able to visit Harry soon. You'd like that, wouldn't you, honey?"

The bruising grip Malfoy maintained on his hand told Harry exactly what answer was expected. "Yes, I'd like that. Thanks for your visit, you two. Is everything alright, you seem a bit confused?"

"Yes, yes, Harry, we are fine." Hermione absentmindedly pocketed her wand. "Are you? You look a bit teary-eyed..."

"Hermione, you were there when Harry dropped that cup and got a bit hysterical." Malfoy seemed to lovingly rubbed Harry's shoulder. "Don't you remember? Maybe you should see Madam Pomfrey about this."

"Oh, no, it's fine," the bushy-haired girl muttered. "I guess I've been studying a bit too much. I can't get those potion's ingredients out of my head."

Ron chuckled at this, and Harry gave a short laugh after a prompting slap to his buttocks. On the inside he wanted to cry as his two best friends took their leave with promises to visit again soon. Draco was manipulating them with his veela charms, and Hermione stared at him in blatant adoration. Even Ron seemed a bit dazed as he closed the door behind him and Hermione.

"You little shit," his Master growled at him, and Harry made a futile attempt to cover his head as Draco began to kick him mercilessly.

But he deserved it, didn't he? And Draco was right. He was a useless burden and contaminated everyone. Of course he needed to be punished. And he was ugly and dirty and filthy and a freak and good-for-nothing. He had caused his Master trouble, it was right that he should pay for his abnormal nature. Hermione and Ron didn't really care for him, Remus didn't either or he would have come to visit him. He was just a tool, a handy little weapon, a slut, a whore. He deserved to lie bleeding on the floor, he deserved to have his wings broken. He shouldn't have let them come out to protect him because he deserved every kick and punch and he shouldn't make it more difficult for his Master to discipline him.

His stomach rebelled as Draco once again administered a vicious kick to his abdomen, and he could feel the bile rising in his throat. This was not right! Lucius had said that Draco should protect him, treat him with care, cherish him even! The darkness surrounded the veela like a thick cloak. No, it was not darkness, Lucius was dark, Snape was dark, Remus was dark, Draco was evil.

Harry tried to block out all the things Draco told him, tried to focus on the pain instead. He would not give Malfoy the satisfaction to break him. Hermione and Ron and Remus cared about him. It was not their fault they couldn't help him. Maybe it was his fault because he was so weak and scared and couldn't fight back, but it was not their fault.

He whimpered softly as his Master made his clothes disappear. He hated to be naked. Malfoy made him do vile things when he was naked, things he didn't even want to** think** about doing, things that threatened to drown him in shame, things that Draco had no right to demand from him.

Draco didn't seem to mind the puddle of blood that surrounded Harry as he began to undress with every intention to get something good out of his mission. The delicate, shivering body lying to his feet was delicious and everything in him, both his human and his veela side, urged him to take the pale beauty, to claim him, tarnish him, fuck him raw. He took a small step forward, stepping out of his pants, just as his mark flared up. He heard the small painful gasp from the elfish creature beneath him and cursed his Lord for his timing. That could have been fun.

"It's time you meet your mate, Potter," the blond purred sardonically, dragging Harry up from the floor. "My Lord has been really eager to meet you. Oh, did I forget to mention that I would present you to him soon? Go, get dressed and wash off that blood. You have ten minutes."

Harry crawled to the bathroom, not able to make his legs work and not sure if it would anger his Master if he stood up. He tried to wash off the blood from his face and hands, and he scrubbed over the rest of his body with a wet washcloth, but soon had to realise that it was no use and that the wounds began oozing blood again as soon as he moved on. So he slipped into his widest and softest pair of trousers and one of Dudley's big sweat-shirts.

As the bathroom door was pushed open without warning and Draco strode in, Harry swivelled around, staring up with big green eyes. The blond veela paused briefly, before he pulled Harry close to his chest and slid his hands over the elf's body to make sure that all wounds were covered.

"A pity to waste such beauty," he murmured and pressed a kiss to Harry's neck. "My beautiful little sub, how good you do smell. Do you love me, Harry, say that you love me?"

"I love you, Master," Harry whispered, relaxing around this gentle Draco; he was at point where he was grateful for even the smallest reprieve.

"Shh, none of that. I'm Draco. Let me hear you say it, Harry." Draco kissed his neck again. "Say 'Draco'."

"Draco," Harry whispered, and the veela moaned in bliss, nibbling on Harry's ear before lifting him in his arms.

The sudden movement forced a small cry from Harry's throat as his wounds and bruises were squeezed painfully, and Draco drew back in concern.

"Harry, sweetheart, what is it? Are you hurt?"

"My belly hurts a little," Harry murmured when it became clear that Draco really expected an answer and wasn't only mocking him.

Draco's brow furrowed, and Harry began to shake, fearing the dominant's anger. "I'm sorry, sorry, sorry..."

"Shush, that stupid stomach ache should feel sorry, not someone as beautiful as you." Draco pecked his nose, smiling charmingly. "And I know just the thing to make you feel better: a nice, warm cup of chamomile tea with honey and a hot-water bottle. How does that sound?"

"Nice?" Harry answered uncertainly, and Draco chuckled, pecking his nose once more before turning away.

"I'll make you tea, then. Why don't you wait for me in the living room?" Draco suggested, and Harry nodded hastily, breathing a sigh of relief when Draco left.

He knew what would happen next. An enraged shout moments later told him that the gentle Draco was gone again, and his Master returned, enraged and furious.

"Thought you could bewitch me, did you?" he demanded, shaking Harry. "If you hadn't already made us late, you'd get your punishment now, but it will have to wait. But don't worry, it will be a pleasure deferred. My and my Lord's pleasure. Come!"

Draco spoke a quick glamour charm over Harry's face and then jerked him from the room.

Harry followed him mutely, trying to keep up with the blond's longer strides and not to shy away from his mere presence. So this was the end of his life? Voldemort's whore? He hadn't expected that, but at least he wouldn't have to kill anyone. If he was lucky Voldemort would soon grow careless and he would be able to die. He reprimanded himself for giving up so soon, but knew in his heart he couldn't do anything anymore, that his luck had finally run out. He was a submissive elf, he was scared, and he was alone. It didn't matter anymore that he was a Gryffindor at heart because although he would like to fight Draco, he couldn't disobey a dominant, he just **couldn't**.

"Draco, where do you think you are going?" a silky voice stopped them mere metres away from the great double doors that would ultimately lead Harry away from the scarce safety Hogwarts provided, and a tiny little flame of hope flared in Harry's chest.

"Harry and I wanted to go for a walk, father," Draco lied smoothly. "Right, honey?"

"Yes," Harry replied shakily, trying desperately to push the glamour charm off with his magic.

"I would like to have a word with Harry, if you please, Draco," Lucius' voice sounded hard and authoritative, and Harry wished desperately that it would have the same effect on his Master that it had on him.

Draco hissed warningly at Lucius in a convincing show of possessiveness and tightened his hold on Harry. "Anything you have to say to Harry you can say in front of me."

The two blonds exchanged heated glares before Lucius suddenly turned his silver eyes to Harry. "Are you okay, Harry?"

"Yes," Harry whispered brokenly, hope leaving him once again.

"Harry, tell me the truth," Lucius demanded, catching onto the fact that Harry's immaculate face didn't match his crumbled clothes or the way he was holding himself as if something was weighing him down.

Once brilliant green looked up at him, now dulled with pain, and a flicker of magic went over Harry's face, revealing for a split second all the bruises and cuts that had been hidden by the glamour. Harry's broken wings ripped through the tender skin of his back, and Harry let out a piercing scream, then passed out, the matted feathery appendages surrounding him limply.

Lucius let out a furious scream at seeing the submissive hurt in such a way, and he pointed his wand at his only son, throwing him against the nearest wall as Draco made to grab the hurt elf. The younger blond's wand clattered to the floor, and a small trail of blood formed at the corner of his mouth as he slipped to the stones, unconscious. Satisfied, Lucius crouched down next to the small creature, gathering him in his arms as the scent of blood and desperation hit his heightened senses. He stood up with the utmost care, trying not to jostle Harry too much. A soft whimper reached his ears, nonetheless, and he silently apologised to the little sub.

He turned towards where he had thrown his son, without a hint of remorse, but with every intent of binding his traitor of a heir to deal with later. His eyes widened briefly as they landed on the bare piece of wall, the younger veela nowhere in sight. He should have anticipated this, he reprimanded himself, and probably should be thankful Draco hadn't attacked them when his attention was focused on Harry.

Lucius was never a man to dwell too much on past mistakes. What was done, was done and no amount of self-pity and reproach would change that, and so he turned back to the matter at hand, noting that Harry was still unconscious and that blood was seeping through his clothes. He cursed softly and hastily walked towards the infirmary.

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_There now, Harry's safe. You can release your Harry-plushie from your death-grip. Very well, and now that your hands are free, you could do something useful and review... Please?_


	4. Way To Go

_Disclaimer: See first chapter._

_Author's Note: My, aren't you lucky? I had considered cutting this chapter into two, but then I would have had to think of a second title and the second chapter would have been a bit short, so instead you get one long chapter. Yay! Besides, I want to know what you think of this little twist (and yes, I'm sorry for mixing all those ideas, it will happen again)..._

_Beta: Adah Eyes, thanks for correcting this chapter despite your flu and for then reformating it so that I could read it. Thank you._

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**4. WAY TO GO**

Harry slowly blinked his eyes open. He felt weird, not bad exactly, but weird. There was no pain. When had he last been without pain? It had been long ago for sure.

"Harry," a vaguely familiar voice greeted him, and Lucius' face moved into his line of sight; gentle fingers, so different than Draco's, caressed his cheek. "Welcome back. How are you feeling, little one?"

"Good?" Harry asked unsurely. "What happened? Why am I in the infirmary?"

"One question at a time." Lucius chuckled softly, a sound that still surprised Harry, and then carefully sat down on the bed beside Harry, allowing the elf to snuggle against his chest. "Madam Pomfrey gave you a potion to combat the pain and healed most of your injuries, but we'll talk about that later, alright?" He took a deep breath. "As it turned out my **son**mistreated you and planned to take you to the Dark Lord. Do you remember?"

"Yes." Harry nodded shakily, and Lucius put an arm around his small shoulders. "I'm sorry."

"It is not your fault, Harry. I don't want you to believe a word of what he told you. You didn't deserve anything he put you through." Lucius scowled as his anger at what Draco had done once again welled up in his chest. "It is I who must apologise for not realising how much he hurt you, what my son had become. Albus was right: I do not know my own son. I thought him a child and I thought a new broom would be enough of an incentive to treat you right." Lucius' lips quirked in bitter amusement. "And maybe, a part of me also hoped that I had taught him better, that though maybe he would not treat you well for yourself, he would at least treat you well because you are a submissive. I would never have let him near you if I had known how corrupt he is."

Harry timidly reached up to touch the blond's cheek. "It is not your fault either. You are not him, he's an adult, and he makes his own decisions. Don't be angry at yourself, don't blame yourself... and sometimes, he was kind of nice." He smile wavered. "Then he got angry again."

"Thank you, Harry." Lucius gently rearranged the blankets so they covered Harry almost completely. "It seems he did not escape your charm completely. A small relief that the Dark Lord did not manage to make him indifferent to everything, that he still feels the pull of his veela side to protect you, at least sometimes... will you tell me what he did to you when he was angry? Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley were able to tell us the gist of everything after we countered the memory charm on them, but it would help us if you told us exactly what he did. You don't have to, of course."

"I wanted to tell you," Harry whispered barely audibly, "but he said I wasn't allowed. He took away my clothes and he hit me and..." He sniffed, angrily brushing away a few tears. "He touched me and he made me touch him. He said Voldemort would want a well-trained slave. I couldn't do anything, I didn't want it. I didn't. I didn't."

"Shh, I know." The veela tucked the unruly head of silky, black locks under his chin. "We should have taken better care of you."

"Why can't I take care of myself?" Harry sobbed. "I always took care of myself, and now I have to wait for your permission to speak or eat or sleep. He couldn't have taken away my freedom if I was like I was before. Now I'm weak and **pathetic**. He only took advantage of me. I was never afraid of him, Lucius, I was never afraid of anyone, and now that's all I feel: fear."

"I know it's hard." Harry snorted, but Lucius didn't let that distract him. "It's always hard when you come into your inheritance, Harry," Lucius consoled him, "for submissives more so than for dominants and for you even more because it came as a total surprise. But you will get used to it, like you became used to being a wizard, and it will all be worth it when you find your mate."

"Where is Narcissa?" Harry pulled back.

"She offered to let me take care of you for a while until you are feeling better." Lucius smiled gently down at him. "She's at Malfoy Manor, most certainly trying to distract herself by buying a lot of useless things. You need me more at the moment."

"Are you doing this because you are feeling guilty? Because you have a bad conscience?" Harry scowled at him. "I don't want pity. Please, leave me alone."

"No, little elf," Lucius hushed him, and Harry shut his mouth immediately. "I'm here to show you there's something good about being a creature. But first we have to make sure that you're healed completely."

"But I'm fine," Harry dared to protest. "Madam Pomfrey healed me."

"She did her best, yes," Lucius agreed, "but you retracted your wings before they could be healed. Can you call them back?"

Harry sighed. "I don't want to, Lucius, it will hurt again, and they never protected me, they only made Draco angrier. I hate them, they only make me more of a freak."

"You are not a freak, Harry," Lucius said forcefully, and Harry winced. "You are an elf, and your wings are a sign of that noble and pure race."

Harry just shook his head in denial, making Lucius sigh. "I'm here to protect you, Harry, and I will never allow him near you again. I'll get Madam Pomfrey, and she will give you a pain killing potion and afterwards I will show you something that I'm sure you will like. I'll stay with you, all right?"

"Okay," Harry whispered, earning himself an encouraging smile from Lucius, who then went to fetch the nurse.

Madam Pomfrey tutted disapprovingly at Harry, and he wasn't sure if it was in general annoyance that he had once more landed himself in the hospital wing or a more specific one because he had done something she didn't approve of. She brusquely handed him a potions vial. After a prompting gesture from Lucius, Harry downed it in one go, coughing as it burned down his throat and left an ashy taste in his mouth.

"Show me your wings, Harry," Lucius commanded softly, and Harry scrunched his eyes shut as his wings ripped out of his back.

It didn't hurt as much as he had expected, just a dull throbbing pain. He was also grateful that his wings seemed to go right through his thin pyjama top without tearing it. They gave a nervous flutter as Madam Pomfrey tried to spread some gooey liquid over the wounds to disinfect them, and Lucius took his hand, ordering him in a stern voice to keep still. Harry whimpered, eying Madam Pomfrey nervously. The stuff covered the tears like a transparent hard bandage, which kept him from moving too much. After Madam Pomfrey had also healed the broken bone in his right wing, she allowed him to retreat them again.

"Now, Mr. Malfoy, I don't want you to tire him out. He is to be back within an hour, have I made myself clear?" she told the blond wizard sternly, totally ignoring Harry.

Lucius glared at her, clearly displeased at being told what to do, and then held out his hand for Harry. "Come, little sub, let us flee these inhospitable accommodations."

"Mr. Malfoy," Madam Pomfrey shouted after them, "bring him back at once. We haven't talked about the safety regulations-"

Harry chuckled as he noted Lucius' mask slip briefly to reveal an amused smirk playing about his lips. "Thank you."

"It is quite all right," Lucius assured him, seeming to know exactly what Harry was referring to. "Just because you are a sub doesn't mean you can't make your own decisions. Tell me when you are getting tired, yes?"

"Okay," Harry mumbled, bowing his head.

Lucius glanced at the little elf out of the corner of his eye, trying to find out what Harry was thinking. Was he afraid of all dominants after what his bastard of a son had done to him? He didn't actually know why he cared about Harry as much as he did. It wasn't only that it had been drilled into him from a young age that all submissives were to be respected and treated with the utmost care. It was one of the few things the Malfoy family prided themselves on. They were not known to be very idealistic, rather the opposite: cruel, cold-hearted and opportunistic were the words most commonly used in context with their name. But everyone would consent that a Malfoy knew how to treat a submissive, that no matter their personal feeling they would always, under all circumstances, be the perfect dominants.

Well, that reputation was ruined, Lucius thought bitterly. Maybe he should have been angry with Harry for bringing out this side of his son, but if he was honest - and he made a point of being brutally honest at least with himself - then it wasn't Harry's fault. His own parenting had failed somewhere. It could be that he had so long kept his true allegiances a secret and had played the role of the loyal Death Eater so perfectly their son had thought this was also his future. Still, it was hard to believe his only son and heir would betray their family like this. It wasn't that Draco had tortured Harry, which could have been dutifully excused, but that he was willing to go so completely against Lucius' decision?

"It was not your fault." Harry looked up pleadingly, feeling Lucius' depressed mood weigh him down and guilt seize his heart. "You are thinking about **him**, aren't you? I'm sorry I destroyed your family..."

"I think my family was already previously lacking, as I didn't realise when my son changed sides and turned into such a cold-hearted idiot," Lucius murmured, absently tracing Harry's spine with his finger. "I really hoped the responsibility to care for you would make you grow up. Obviously I was wrong."

"Aren't Malfoys allowed to be wrong?" Harry asked softly, and Lucius chuckled appreciatively.

"They are not supposed to admit it."

"Oh," the black-haired boy said by way of response and followed Lucius out of the castle. "Where are we going?"

"I'm going to show you what normal humans miss." Lucius smirked, feeling unusually playful as he lifted Harry up into his arms. "Close your eyes, Harry, it's a surprise."

Harry obediently did as told and felt Lucius pick up speed, no longer forced to be considerate of Harry's shorter legs. The rhythmic motion of his steps lulled Harry into a light sleep, and he swayed when Lucius set him down.

"You can open your eyes now, little one," Lucius murmured in amusement, stabilising Harry by gently resting his hands on the fine hips.

The seemingly bottom-less green eyes fluttered open and widened in surprise as they took in the scenery around them. There were in the middle of the Forbidden Forest, standing in a small clearing. The huge trees surrounding them only seldom allowing a ray of sunlight to hit the moss-covered ground beneath their feet. A small, happily whispering well fed the little creek, which disappeared between two lean oaks. They were surrounded by the apparently untouched nature and beauty of the clearing, and the air was filled by the merry chatting of several birds, who were building a nest in the dense branches of a bush, multicoloured little butterflies and the intense humming of bees and bumblebees, feasting on the many flowers decorating the ground.

"It is beautiful," Harry whispered in awe, following the quick jumps of an auburn-haired squirrel with his eyes.

"I thought you would like it," Lucius answered quietly, taking a deep breath himself. "This is where I used to go when being a veela became too much; taking care of Narcissa and trying not to snap at her when she became jealous for no reason."

"And you share it with me?" Harry asked in surprise, craning his neck to look in the older Malfoy's face.

"I'm passing it onto you because I have a feeling you need it more than I ever did." Lucius nodded lightly, smirking as Harry's eyes got even wider. "Veelas are creatures of the skies and love, elves are creatures of the earth and nature in general. You have more right to be here than I, Harry. I want you to come here when you feel like life is getting to be too much. The wild animals won't attack you, nor will they shy away. This is your kingdom, little prince."

"Thank you." Harry snuggled gratefully into his arms, soaking up the warmth and security Lucius' embrace so freely provided. "Thank you so much. Can we stay here a bit longer?"

"As long as you like, Harry," the blond returned and walked over to a big, flat rock and sat down on it, watching Harry as he strolled over the little clearing; Harry was whistling in tune with the birds' songs and scooping up the clear water with his hands, letting it run through his fingers, before he put his wet fingertips against his face.

A childlike smile spread over his face as one of the butterflies landed on his nose, tickling him with its tiny legs.

Finally, Harry had tired himself out, and he sat down near Lucius' feet leaning against him as he closed his eyes. "What happens now, Lucius?"

The older man sighed and, gripping Harry's upper-arms, lifted the petite youth into his lap. Harry didn't protest, though the thought passed through his head that two weeks ago he would never have sat in another person's lap.

"This is actually what I wanted to talk to you about. There are no more dominant creatures around, least of all your own age. We would likely be able to find someone within a few months, but after what happened with my son, I'm reluctant to hand you over to just anyone. We would need to test his loyalties and keep you under a close watch for a longer period of time, which wouldn't allow you to get comfortable as soon.

"One option would be for you to stay with Narcissa and me, but I have to tell you this would only be a temporary solution as Narcissa might get very jealous.

"Or you could try your luck with the Weasleys. They don't have much creature blood, but maybe, as there are so many of them, it would be enough for the time being; also considering how fond you seem to be of them."

"There is something else, isn't there?" Harry asked, searching Lucius' silver eyes.

"Yes, there's one last option Albus came up with," Lucius answered, choosing his words carefully. "We could send you back in time to your parents' and my last year at Hogwarts. Your father would be able to take care of you like he was supposed to, as could I seeing as I hadn't been bonded to Narcissa then. Meanwhile we would look for a suitable dominant and test him."

"Send me back in time?" Harry asked in a whisper. "Are you serious? Isn't that risky? I might change everything, that's just insane!"

"Albus assured me that it is completely safe," Lucius answered, and Harry rolled his eyes. "Your return to the present would be combined with a memory spell that would delete your stay from everyone's mind. And at the first sign of trouble you we would come and get you."

"You're serious." Harry stared at Lucius in surprise. "You'd really be willing to send me to another time, just so I'll get over my fear. Why? What do you care if I'm afraid? It hardly makes a difference if I hide from Voldemort here or in the past."

"It is essential that you learn to control your abilities as soon as possible," Lucius answered evenly. "And you cannot learn to control your abilities as long as you're afraid. In the past, you would be surrounded by dominants who would help you to realise that being an elf is not a curse."

"But their influence wouldn't last," Harry protested uncertainly. "It never does with you."

"That's because we've hardly spend time together," Lucius clarified. "You haven't had the opportunity to build up your trust in me."

"But I trust you!" Harry exclaimed, feeling foolish when Lucius chuckled. "I do, though I don't know **why**."

"And that is exactly the point, Harry," Lucius told him, rubbing Harry's arms. "Your elf side cannot but trust me, but your human side knows that you have no real reason to do so."

"Oh," Harry murmured. "So,I will feel better once there's a dominant I trust entirely? And then I'll feel better, even if he isn't around?"

"Yes, Harry." Lucius nodded. "Albus hopes that you might trust your father more readily than another dominant."

"But you don't like that option very much, do you?" Harry inquired and Lucius shook his head. "Why not?"

"I like none of the options very much, Harry. I realise this is most likely the only chance for you to get used to your new situation and be relatively safe from Voldemort, but on the other hand you will be around people you don't know at all, and though the presence of your father could certainly help you, I'm not sure if so many unknown people won't upset you even more. It is a rather huge, let alone drastic step."

"There's an extremity to this?" Harry raised an eyebrow skeptically. "It's like I don't know anyone here, anyway. The first thing my senses tell me is if the person across from me is a dominant or a submissive and then if they are a creature or not. Of course, I know the people here, but that doesn't really help me to feel more comfortable in their presence."

"So you want to go?" Lucius clarified.

"Not if it makes you angry."

"Harry, I won't be angry. This is your decision, and since we don't have a better plan, we'll just have to hope it will turn out well." The silver-eyed wizard sighed and then urged Harry to stand up. "The Headmaster asked us to come to him after you made your decision. If you are lucky, Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley might still be there so you can say your good-byes."

"Lucius?" Harry asked as they passed the double doors leading to the Great Hall. "Can I ask you something?" The blond raised an eyebrow expectantly, and Harry's question burst out of him. "Do you have wings?"

The blond looked surprised for a split second before he smirked down at Harry's blushing face. "As a matter of fact I do, but if you were wondering if I also get a beak when I'm furious, the answer is no. Narcissa does, though. It all depends on which creature genes are dormant and which are active."

"So that means I don't have all characteristics of an elf?" Harry asked hopefully, still blushing.

"I don't know, Harry." Lucius shrugged gracefully. "You have the ears, the skin colour and the wings. As far as I know, those are all characteristics concerning your outward appearance. There really is no way to tell how many elfish character traits and skills you have inherited. We'll have to wait and see, though I know you don't like to hear that. As for Narcissa and I, there's a difference between common veelas like you saw at the Quidditch World Cup and royal veelas, as we are called. You could say we are more human. You have to understand that when one of your parents is a creature you receive all those genes and pass them onto your children. Sometimes those genes stay dormant all your life and you might not even know about them until one of your children comes into his or her inheritance."

"So I have both human genes and elf genes?" Harry asked and Lucius nodded. "And if an elf and a veela have children, they have human, veela and elf genes, though they could still be normal wizards or witches, or squibs?"

"Yes." Lucius nodded once more. "That was also why Dumbledore didn't deem it necessary to inform you of this possibility beforehand. Meddling old wizard, sometimes he should really stop thinking he knows everything best."

Harry chanced a quick look at the blond, but since he couldn't find any trace of real anger directed at him, he relaxed again and followed Lucius up the revolving staircase.

"Oh, Harry, my dear boy, I'm glad you have recovered so quickly." Dumbledore twinkled at him, motioning them into his office, where Ron and Hermione were sipping tea, waiting for Harry. "I trust you are feeling better?"

Harry nodded dutifully, leaving Lucius to scowl at the old wizard before pulling Harry over to one of the armchairs, making him sit down in his lap.

Ron gasped audibly, and Harry blushed, but didn't protest, realising it made him feel quite safe to be seated like that, with a dominant surrounding and protecting him.

"Has Lucius informed you of your options?" Dumbledore continued merrily.

"Yes, and I would like to go to the past," Harry said softly but with determination.

"Excellent! I thought you would decide on that." The white-bearded wizard beamed. "Why don't you say your good-byes while Lucius and I settle the details."

Harry hesitated briefly, but then made to get up.

However, Lucius seemed to have noticed that Harry had a question, and so he grabbed him around the waist once more. "Ask your question."

"May I know how I'll get into the past? And how long I'll stay there?"

"The Unspeakables were so kind as to lend us one of their time-jumpers, which is, as you undoubtedly know," Dumbledore said with a conspirational smile, "a device similar to a time-turner, which can be used to travel over long periods of time. As to the duration of your stay, I think one year at the most, though if there should be any problems or if we find a suitable candidate earlier we will take you back sooner."

"Okay." Harry smiled gratefully at the blond wizard and walked over to Ron and Hermione.

"I'm so sorry, Harry. I should have known he wouldn't treat you right and that you weren't okay and that he wouldn't let us go like this." Harry found himself with an armful of Hermione.

"Mione, it's okay, really." Harry uncomfortably patted her shoulder, trying to get Ron to help him, but the red-head only smirked and shook his head lightly.

"It's not okay!" Hermione protested. "He could have done anything to you. He could have killed you. You were so helpless against him."

"Gee, thanks for reminding me, Hermione." Harry finally managed to free himself, rolling his eyes. "I'm fine."

"It's just..."

"You're the youngest, mate." Ron looked earnestly at him. "That means we are a **tad bit** protective of you. Take good care of you for us, 'kay?"

"Okay." Harry laughed, also hugging Ron. "I feel so much better now you're here."

"Sure you don't want to stay with us?" Ron offered. "Mum would be happy, and my brothers all like you. We could work something out, couldn't we?"

Harry shifted uncomfortably, staring down on his feet. The truth was he **wanted** to go to the past, meet his parents. He didn't care much about the reasoning that would allow him to finally meet them. Maybe he could get something good out of this unfortunate situation, after all.

But Ron wasn't his best friend for nothing and grinned wryly at him. "I understand. Just a pity we can't come with you on this adventure."

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "I'll miss you two, but-"

"This is so exciting!" Hermione exclaimed. "Not only are you an elf - I've read about them, you know, but there's not much information, it's all really obscure and ancient - but you'll also travel back in time. Think about all the possibilities! You'll be there when the law for the regulation of flying carpets was revised and when the double nomination for both the Wizengamot and the Department of Mysteries was made and then of course the Centaur Equality Act..."

Harry tuned her out, chuckling as he saw Ron rolling his eyes. He was startled as Hermione thrust three thick books in his arms.

"Have you been listening, Harry?" She scowled lightly. "I found these books for you. This one consists mostly of speculations." She demonstratively held up one of the books, which was bound in shiny blue covers. "But since everything is more or less based on speculations, I thought it still might be helpful. This one only has a really small paragraph about elves." She pointed at the thickest and dustiest book, and Harry didn't doubt this 'really small paragraph' would at least spread over several pages. "And this one gives you an overview over all known creatures, both dominant and submissive. After all, you might be bonded to one very soon."

"Thanks, Mione," Harry mumbled, balancing the load of books.

"Oh, just read them, Harry," Hermione ordered him, "and **try** to keep out of trouble, please?"

"That would indeed be very much appreciated, Miss Granger." Lucius motioned Harry closer again, after he had placed Harry's shrunken possessions in his robe pocket. "Harry, if you are ready we will go."

"Are you coming with me?" Harry asked, surprised.

"I'll take you there, and I will come to fetch you should it become necessary," the blond explained and tucked Harry into his arms. "Now, close your eyes, little elf."

Harry felt Lucius' arms tighten around his waist before the worst swirling and swishing he had ever experienced took control over his body. He whimpered quietly and clung to the veela's strong body as his feet connected hard with the equally as hard ground.

"You can open your eyes now," Lucius' voice sounded much too amused for Harry's liking, and so instead of obeying at once, he buried his head in the immaculate black robes, groaning piteously.

"Not feeling good?" Lucius chuckled, and Harry shook his head in risponse, which did nothing to ease his dizziness and nausea. "And I guess, you don't feel up to walking to Hogwarts, hm?" Harry shook his head again, and Lucius sighed, scooping the slight elf up. "Then try to sleep, Harry. I'll wake you up when we are there."

"Thank you." Harry happily snuggled into the blond, breathing in the familiar and calming scent he had by now become accustomed to.

*_*_*

The Great Hall was filled with the clattering and chattering of eager students, trying to fill their mouths both with food and with words, exchanging the latest news and juiciest gossip.

But all the noise stopped immediately as the great double doors swung open to admit entrance to a tall figure, clad from head to toe in black robes, a black hood casting shadows over his face and concealing his hair. An undoubtedly much smaller body was gathered in his arms, also hidden by black robes and a hood. Lucius knew how to make an entrance and he smirked to himself at the open-mouthed stares he received. Harry was still blissfully asleep, either from exhaustion or the order Lucius had given him.

The teachers rose, drawing their wands. The Heads of Houses performed a make-shift protection spell on their respective houses, but Lucius barely took note of that. Light wizards wouldn't attack without provocation, they would ask questions first.

"To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit? And who might you and your companion be?" Dumbledore's voice was pleasant as always, but the twinkle was curiously absent from his eyes.

"Who I am is hardly of your concern." Lucius strode haughtily up to the Head table. "Judging by this unfriendly welcome, my owl must have been delayed. A word in private, if you please."

"Of course, if you would accompany me." Dumbledore held open the door behind the teacher's table, motioning for Lucius to proceed. "I'm sure we will be able to sort this out."

As the door slid closed, the chattering reached new heights, the clattering just as curiously absent as the Headmaster's twinkle had been.

"What **was** that?" Sirius leaned over Peter to his best friend James. "Did you also get that feeling?"

James nodded, pushing his peas from one side of his nearly empty plate to the other. He turned to look at the door through which Dumbledore had disappeared with the two strangers.

"I don't know, but I think it was coming from the smaller one, the one who was being carried, right?" James asked. "It's like a pull... Why are you glaring at me, Siri?"

"I'm not glaring," Sirius protested, quickly looking away. He hadn't been glaring, he didn't think so, at least. "What about you, Remy? You felt something? Or you know, **smelled** something?"

"I felt something, but-" Remus cautiously sniffed the air, but then shook his head. "There is something strange about these two travellers."

"I don't feel anything," Peter piped up. "And to me the smaller one looked pretty much dead. Maybe it wasn't even a person, just a bundle, a dead bundle. What's wrong, Sirius?" Peter pressed back into his seat in a futile attempt to escape Sirius' glare.

"Nothing," Sirius said curtly, taking a hasty gulp of his pumpkin juice. "But it was a person, I saw a hand."

"I was just saying..." Peter muttered. "Maybe they are Death Eaters, wearing all black like that. Maybe it **was** a dead body that guy was carrying."

James rolled his eyes. "I think if he was a Death Eaters he'd have better things to do than to bring corpses to Hogwarts. And I didn't get a bad vibe from them."

"No, me neither," Sirius agreed. "So what do we do?"

"We wait till Dumbledore comes back," Remus said at once, cutting James short and sending them a stern look. "I'm sure he'll tell us who that was. Besides, it would be much too obvious if we disappeared right now."

"Spoilsport!" Sirius grumbled, but began to devour his second helping of rice pudding. "Dumbledore won't tell us a thing, if they really are interesting."

Remus' reply was interrupted by the Headmaster's reappearance and the clearing of his throat.

"If Mr. Black, Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Potter would be so kind as to accompany me to my office?" The twinkle had returned to his eyes. "Provided you have finished your dinner, after all growing boys need a good bit of nutrition..."

"We didn't do anything, we're completely innocent," Sirius exclaimed as he and James jumped up.

"As always, Mr. Black, I'm sure." Dumbledore chuckled. "If you would now accompany me?"

"We'll tell you later," James whispered to Remus and quickly caught up with Sirius, who was already halfway to the Headmaster, grinning and waving at people as if he was a star and the other students his fans.

James fell into step beside him, mimicking Sirius' behaviour and trying in vain to catch the eye of one Lily Evans, Head-Girl, and until that year apparently completely immune to the infamous Potter-charm. But even though Lily had finally given in to James and had agreed on a date - and soon after to a second and third one - she now ignored him in favour of a thick book on Experimental Magic. As much as she loved James, his sense of humour was something she could not love twenty-four/seven.

Meanwhile, Lucius regally pushed back his own chair from the Slytherin table, kissed his girl-friend and fiancée Narcissa Black on the cheek and followed the two black-haired boys up to the Headmaster's office, catching up to them and the Headmaster before they reached the gargoyle.

"Lemon drops," the Headmaster stated the password and the gargoyle slid to the side, revealing the spiralled staircase that led up to Dumbledore's office. "There's nothing quite like them, is there? Would you care for one?"

The three boys shook their heads and absently stepped onto the staircase that carried them upstairs, much too preoccupied trying to decipher the unique and quite delicious scent coming from the office.

"Oh, well, let us go in then. I always find these corridors to be quite chilly," Dumbledore mused, opening his door. "Take a seat, boys, and I'll explain the situation to you. Unless you would like to guess? No? Very well, as it is, our visitor here has brought us a new student who will join us for this year, mostly because of you." He paused dramatically, smiling benevolently the three students. "Our new student is a submissive elf and will need your protection and guidance. Any questions?"

There was a shocked silence before Lucius asked, "Where is she?"

"Actually, **he** is sleeping on the sofa," the tall, still mummed man fluidly stood from his armchair and walked over to where Harry was lying in a cocoon of black wings and robes. "Harry, it's time for you to wake up."

Sirius craned his neck to get a good look at the little creature, whose scent he had smelled as soon as he had passed the gargoyle. The small bundle shifted, a pale face peeking out from under inky feathers and brilliant green eyes fluttered open. A meek whimper rose from Harry's chest and he curled up tighter as all the dominant creatures registered in his mind. _Damnit, Potter, muck up some courage_, he told himself sternly, taking a deep breath, when Lucius gently touched his shoulder.

"Hush, you are safe." The older Lucius helped Harry to his feet, turning him towards the three dominant creatures. "These students are Lucius Malfoy..."

Harry sniggered at this point before looking apologetically up at the other wizard. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. It's just, you know..."

"May I continue?" Amusement swung in the older wizard's voice. "James Potter and Sirius Black, and this is Harry Parker."

"It's nice to meet you," Harry mumbled, shuffling his feet nervously before chancing a look at them.

"Quite the same here." Sirius gave the enticing little elf in front of him a roguish smile and then kissed his hand, making Harry blush even harder.

"Not so fast, Mr. Black." Lucius' voice had an edge to it as he pulled Harry back to his chest, who looked confused up at him. "Harry is here for one sole reason: To get used to his new situation and to be safe. That also entails you will not take advantage of him in any way."

"Ah, yes, that brings us back to the point, doesn't it?" Dumbledore intervened. "I expect the three of you to look out for Harry and to keep him safe from the other students. I trust you know how to treat a submissive, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Of course, Headmaster." Lucius inclined his blond head, looking haughty. "But you should know Narcissa is my priority."

"Of course, Mr. Malfoy, very praiseworthy. Mr. Black?"

"I will make sure Harry feels right at home in Hogwarts." The grey-eyed boy winked at the little elf.

"I trust the same goes for you, Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore asked again.

"What if he's sorted into another house?" James challenged and Harry pressed closer to his Lucius. "He could spy us out."

"That's something you would do, isn't it, Potter?" the Slytherin seventh year sneered. "Use him to get information so you can pull your supposedly funny pranks."

"Neither of you will use Harry for anything," the hooded wizard interrupted. "Harry will keep all your secrets, and if you dare to give him a contradicting order, he will be out of here in less time than I'll need to kill you, understood?"

The three younger creatures nodded mutely while Harry trembled in the blond's arms. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made you angry. I didn't mean to cause you trouble. Please, don't hurt me."

"Harry, no-one has the right to hurt you." Lucius sighed. "It's not your fault, is that clear?"

"I shouldn't have made you angry," Harry whispered, barely audible.

"I'm not angry, little elf," Lucius tried to reassure him. "Least of all at you. Believe me."

Harry took a deep breath, looking up at him, trying to penetrate the shadows cast over his face. "You are angry, I can feel it. I'm sorry."

"I'll try to better myself, Harry," the blond relented, bedding Harry's head on his chest. "If we could proceed, Headmaster? I'm a busy man, and I'm sure Harry would like to settle in."

"Oh, yes, of course, where was I?" Dumbledore intertwined his fingers in thought before a bright thrill from Fawkes brought him back on track. "Of course, you need to be sorted, Mr. Parker. I'm afraid you missed the traditional Sorting of the first years at the beginning of the year by a few weeks, so we'll just have a private one right here." Dumbledore smiled and summoned the Sorting Hat to himself. "If you would put this hat on?"

Lucius reluctantly loosened his hold on the small elf as Harry pushed lightly against his arms, allowing him to slip from his grasp to sit in the armchair Dumbledore indicated. The dingy-looking hat still slid over Harry's eyes, a feeling he didn't particularly like.

"_Ah, another student_," the whispering, high voice greeted Harry. "_Mr. Parker? Suit yourself, Harry Potter. I see I have sorted you into Gryffindor before -- a wise decision, indeed -- though, I also gave you the option to go to Slytherin. Not much has changed since then, has it? Oh, of course your situation is completely different, but in your heart you are still the same, Mr. Potter. Let's see, there's bravery and a tendency to act first and ask questions later. There's loyalty as well; I see you already miss your friends. But not to despair, Mr. Potter, you'll find new friends here. Yes, yes, you can never have enough friends. I, myself, only have the respective Headmaster as company, it's quite boring... but I digress, you must understand I seldom have the chance to talk to someone other than myself. Monologues are not very stimulating, even if they are led with a genius such as myself... the need to help others, a very altruistic person, you are, Mr. Potter. Even a certain love for books I can find here, though you hide it well, of course. And quite a lot of intelligence. My, you are an interesting one, Mr. Potter. There's also the ability to hide behind a mask of cheerfulness and an offhand disregard for rules. Where ever shall I put you? Given the situation, I think either Gryffindor or Slytherin... no objections this time? Very well, though I feel a slight reluctance to anger your father should if I sort you into Slytherin. Not completely unreasonable, I must admit. So go to GRYFFINDOR!"_

Sirius and James high-fived, and Lucius merely rolled his eyes.

"Now that that is out of the way," Dumbledore said, seeming even more cheerful if possible, "why don't you go back down so Mr. Parker can grab some dinner as well? Great, and Mr. Malfoy, I would appreciate it if you could give him the password to the Slytherin common room."

"Of course, Headmaster." The younger Lucius said and gave Harry an encouraging nod.

"You remember what I told you, Harry?" The hooded veela leaned down to hug Harry, though it wasn't a move he was particularly familiar with.

"I'm not stupid," Harry dared to roll his eyes. "I'll be fine, you said so yourself. Now go, your wife is already waiting for you."

"Here, take this." Lucius fastened a small necklace with a finely crafted silver rose around Harry's neck. "I want you to take a hold of this and think of me if you are in trouble, and I will come to check on you and take you home if necessary. It won't come off unless I unfasten it, so no need to worry about losing it."

"Thank you, it's beautiful." Harry briefly buried his head in the older man's chest. "Thank you for doing all this for me. Thank your wife from me as well."

"It's the least we could do after-"

"Please, don't blame yourself," Harry pleaded. "You couldn't have known. And who cares anyway. I'm still alive, no permanent harm done."

"I care, and I should have known, Harry," Lucius said before swiftly turning around, "and I will make it up to you."

He left the office without a backward glance, and Harry knew the man would return to the future shortly, leaving him alone in a time that wasn't his, with people he knew only as adults or from photos, and with three dominants, who were staring at him in curiosity. Harry timidly looked up at them, not sure what he should to do now.

"Let us show you to the Great Hall," Sirius broke the silence, offering his arm to the newest addition to their house and led him through the door like a gentleman, which James had opened for them. "You'll like Hogwarts, I'm sure, and Jamie and I'll teach you how to properly prank someone. Pranking is an art, don't you agree?"

"I never did much pranking," Harry admitted sheepishly, trying to remember if he knew Sirius Black from somewhere.

"We'll remedy that soon enough," James interrupted. "After all, school's only half as much fun without getting into trouble."

"Trouble always had a way of finding me. Like now, I guess." Harry laughed, and Sirius was briefly mesmerised by the beautiful sound coming from the beautiful creature.

"You don't understand the concept, Harry dear. It should be you who finds the trouble, that's the thrill," he stated wisely, earning another laugh.

"I'll try to remember that," Harry promised, smiling at the grey-eyed Marauder.

"Very well, Harry, I think we can work with that." Sirius sighed dramatically, and James rolled his eyes.

"You mustn't take him too seriously, his parents dropped him quite a lot when he was little-"

"Hey." Sirius reached around the submissive elf between them and tried to swat James over the head. "That surely didn't meddle with my indubitable intelligence and brain capacity as much as all those Bludgers meddled with you. Tell me, Jamie, what is two plus seven?"

"Nine, you dork." James rolled his eyes. "Now, Harry. The second most important thing after pranking is obviously Quidditch. Do you play?"

"I played Seeker in my old school," mumbled Harry, feeling strange talking to his father like this, like they were strangers making polite conversation.

"Excellent," James exclaimed. "We have tryouts this weekend, and I've been playing with the thought of changing positions, provided we find a good Seeker. Are you any good?"

"I am good," Harry muttered with a hint of defiance. "I've been Seeker since my first year."

The hazel-eyed boy gaped for a full split second before he said as casually as possible. "We'll see then."

* * *

_Now's your chance to tell me how absolutely horrible/fantastic you think this story is.  
PS: Explanations or synonyms are always appreciated._


	5. A Matter of Nature

_Disclaimer: See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: I'm in an incredibly good mood today, I just thought you should know, and maybe this chapter will manage to get into an incredibly good mood as well so that we can all grin from ear to ear and look like idiots. What a nice picture! I'll get out my camera!_

_Beta: Adah Eyes, thank you._

* * *

**5. A MATTER OF NATURE**

When Harry, framed by Sirius and James, entered the Great Hall, Lucius had already sat down at the Slytherin table, barely sparing them a glance so absorbed was he in his conversation with the beautiful blonde girl next to him. Sirius gently pushed him over to the Gryffindor table, and Harry felt peace and calm flow through him at the warm, large hand on the small of his back. The grey-eyed boy even pulled out his chair for him.

Harry wanted to protest that he wasn't a girl, but thought better of it. Sirius likely only wanted to be polite, it wouldn't do to snap at him. Snapping at dominants was not something he should be doing. Harry scowled at himself for that last thought. He needed to find a way to stop thinking like that.

He made to sit down, but before he could take a seat, Dumbledore, who had somehow managed to arrive in the Great Hall before them, stood up from his seat, demanding attention. Harry had the dreadful feeling that he knew exactly what would happen now, and he wished the ground would split up to swallow him. His fears were confirmed when Dumbledore began to talk. He suppressed a groan, barely, and ducked his head.

"My dear students, may I have your attention for a moment to introduce you to Harry Parker, who will join the Gryffindor seventh years?" He made a vague gesture in Harry's direction that would have caused everyone to turn their eyes on him, if they hadn't been staring since the very moment they had entered. "Mr. Parker is in the quite unique situation of being a submissive elf."

Most of the wizard-raised students gaped openly, and even the professors seemed stunned.

"I ask you all to help him to settle in here at Hogwarts and I must impress on you not take advantage of him for, if you did so, I would be forced to expel you immediately," though Dumbledore's voice still sounded cheerful, there was no doubt about the seriousness of his statement. "Now, I don't want to keep you from all that delicious food, though one would think that you would be finished by now." He sent twinkles left and right, and some students had the grace to blush.

"Take a seat, Harry." Sirius chuckled when he saw how red Harry's face had become. "Let me introduce you to everyone. This is Lily Evans, Jamie's girl-friend."

Harry stared at his mother in awe. She was so beautiful with her fiery red hair, pale skin and expressive green eyes. The few photos he had of her didn't do her justice; they captured but a shadow of this radiant young woman sitting opposite of him. She smiled at him, and he tentatively smiled back, at once feeling much better.

"Peter Pettigrew." Sirius motioned to a chubby boy Harry had never seen before, who sat opposite of Harry and was staring at him with curiosity. "And Remus Lupin."

Aslender hand moved into Harry's line of vision, and he pulled back, tumbling from the chair and scrambling to his feet in horror, whimpering.

His wings resurfaced to wrap protectively around his tense body. "No! Get away from me!"

"Harry, what?" Sirius asked, surprised, grabbing Harry by the shoulders.

"Werewolf," Harry whispered so low even Sirius had to strain to hear him. "Bad."

"I didn't think **you** of all people would be so prejudiced. You're a fucking submissive elf, for Merlin's Sake. At least Remus doesn't burden others with his needy nature," Sirius spat, always quick to lose his temper, and Harry shied back and whimpered. "Sit back down. You're causing a scene, and Remus doesn't need that. He doesn't need you. In fact,** we** don't need you."

Harry's whimpers grew louder, and he covered away from both Sirius and Remus. He tried to ignore the direct order, he tried to calm down, to think rational. He couldn't go near Remus, he couldn't disobey Sirius. As Sirius forced him back in his chair, he began to shake uncontrollably, twisting his hands into fists, his fingernails digging into his palms.

"Please, no, I can't, I'm sorry," he pleaded, but to no avail.

"You'll sit right there in that chair and apologise to Remus," Sirius grumbled, his hand closing painfully on Harry's shoulder. "Then I'll give you another chance."

Harry made himself as small as possible, trying to block out Sirius words. _Not again._

"Harry," a gentle voice called from behind, and Sirius' hand was removed to be replaced by Lucius' soothing, caressing hand, "come with me, all right? You can sit with me at the Slytherin table so those idiots can think about their actions. Black, take back your order."

"I want him to apologise..."

"A forced apology isn't worth anything," Remus said softly, looking decidedly hurt and uncomfortable, which made Harry feel that much worse.

"Have you ever stopped to consider that Harry can't do anything about his reaction?" The blond snapped, pulling Harry, who was still trembling and sobbing, into his arms. "If you have but a ounce of decency, you will take back your order, Black. Now."

"Just let him go, Sirius," James said. "Let Malfoy take him to the Snakes. If he is so prejudiced, he'll fit in with them just fine."

"Fine, you can go, Parker. You're spoiling my appetite anyway." He glared, and Peter nodded emphatically.

Lucius sneered at the Gryffindors, but gently tucked Harry under his arm and led him over to his own table, trying to calm him down with whispered words.

"I didn't mean to react like that, I didn't mean to make them angry, I didn't mean to cause you trouble," Harry whispered brokenly, leaning heavily against Lucius' side.

"It's not your fault, they should have known better than to force you to sit next to him. It's a natural reaction for a submissive elf," Lucius murmured soothingly, piling some food on Harry's plate. "Eat something, yes?"

Harry listlessly pushed his food around, putting some of the mashed potatoes in his mouth to please Lucius, while brushing his tears away with the other hand.

"You'll get used to it." Narcissa leaned around Lucius, patting Harry's hand. "The whole lot of them totally freaked me out when I came into my inheritance. And Gryffindors are not known for their sensitivity."

"It doesn't feel like I'll get used to being an elf anytime soon," Harry muttered morosely.

"When did you come into your inheritance?" Narcissa asked curiously.

"About two month ago..." Harry mumbled, not sure how to react to this new, not jealous Narcissa. "Sorry, but you are Narcissa, aren't you?"

"Oh, how rude of me." Narcissa gasped. "I'm Narcissa Black, a submissive veela, it's nice to meet you, Harry."

"Black? Are you and Sirius related?" Harry cocked his head in confusion, chancing a quick look at Sirius, who sat with his back to them, unabashedly flirting with a blonde girl close to him, and then back to Narcissa, trying to find similarities between the two.

"Yes, we are cousins." Narcissa scrunched up her pretty nose as if she didn't like being reminded of that fact. "But, wait a moment, Harry. Did you say two months? What did you do during that time? I thought there was no dominant where you are coming from."

"The son of the man who brought me here was supposed to take care of me." Harry hunched his shoulders; he didn't like talking or even thinking about Draco. "He hated me and didn't exactly treat me absolutely okay."

"Why don't your parents take care of you?" Lucius asked gently, absently squeezing Harry's hand. "And who was that man?"

"They died when I was little," Harry answered quietly. "I was taken in by Muggles and they ask the Headmaster of my school for help when I got into my inheritance. They didn't really know what to do with me. That man was - he knew my parents, and he owed the Headmaster a favour. His son and I were in the same year, so I guess it seemed like a good idea to them. I'm not allowed to tell you more, please don't ask me."

"It's alright, Harry, you don't have to tell us. Calm down," Lucius reassured him. "That's just the usual curiosity bestowed on new students. Have you finished eating? Or rather playing with your food?"

Harry blushed brightly as he looked down at his plate full of food that now seemed rather unappetising. "I'm finished."

Lucius offered each of the submissives one arm, Narcissa to his right, Harry to his left, and then guided them to the Slytherin common room.

"The password is _Vindico_," Lucius said, and the wall gave way to the entrance to the snake pit. "Promise you won't tell anyone about it."

"I won't." Harry looked pleadingly up at him. "I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Good." Lucius smiled briefly. "You can stay down here for a while if you want to, and then I'll bring you up to Gryffindor Tower, all right?"

"Thank you." Harry sighed in relief and allowed himself to be led over to one of the black leather couches, snuggling into Lucius as soon as they had all sat down.

He relished in Lucius' gentle fingers combing through his hair, even though Lucius and Narcissa led a conversation of their own, exchanging chaste kisses every once in a while.

His body felt pleasantly heavy and relaxed, and the stress and worry slowly drained from him. Still, Sirius' enraged and disgusted voice haunted him, echoing in his ears, his father's angry face and Remus, who looked so hurt, flitting before his eyes. He still felt the panic from earlier. He had never expected his reaction to the werewolf would be so extreme, so completely uncontrollable, and he was suddenly glad the Remus in his time hadn't visited him.

He decided to read one of the books Hermione had given him, if only to distract himself from the sudden pang of homesickness that threatened to overwhelm him. He started with the thickest book so he would be able to bury it deep within his trunk and would never have to walk around with it again. Unshrinking it and sitting up, he quickly found the page Hermione had high-marked for him and began to read.

_Elves _

_Like fae, fairies, nymphs and muses, elves are pure light creatures, who naturally live in very close contact and harmony with nature. Their element is the earth and their home primely forests. _

_Full, or natural, elves differ greatly from the elves born of a union with humans: _

_Natural elves live in one forest for most of their life, seldom leaving it and therefore seldom being seen. They guard their forest with their unique magic and strength, much like nymphs guard their waters._

_They avoid contact with humans and other magical creatures, though they lovingly take care of the animals and plants in their forest. They form groups of up to twenty elves, led by the strongest dominant and his submissive. Though they have wings, they much prefer, with a few exceptions, to stay on the ground and use them mostly to shelter themselves and their friends from harsh weather and attacks. _

_In appearance, their skin colour is the most stunning aspect, ranging from a deep violet to a bright green. Their pointed ears are another attribute. Dominants and older elves have longer ears than submissives or elfings. Their ears can grown to be as long as their forearms. Their hair is mostly a dark brown or black and reaches past their backs, with very few exceptions. Their eyes often match their skin colour._

_In contrast to this, human or magical elves are even rarer for the evident reason that elves seldom bond to humans. They still have a very close connection with nature and animals, but don't feel the need to make a home in one specific forest, though in one case a magical elf fell ill because he avoided forests all together. _

_Their outward appearance only in the rarest of cases sports the green or violet skin colour, most elves having very fair skin that is said to emit a certain glow. Their eyes are intense. The most frequent colours are deep brown, forest green and clear blue. If they have wings, they are of the same colour as their hair. Their ears are also less pointy. Not all of these characteristics are apparent in magical elves as their human traits are mostly active._

_Not much is known about the skills of elves, though most accounts and legends speak of their considerable power. Allegedly they have the ability to communicate with most animals and to see a person's true intentions. Elves also are rumoured to have healing and elemental powers (with control over the elements water and earth), though there are no accounts supporting these legends._

Harry stopped reading and sighed. _At least I'm not green_, he mused, _I have to be grateful for small favour_s. The book didn't really help him to better understand his behaviour and feelings, and after that paragraph came a list of books that would supposedly give him more information. Hermione had high-lighted a few, but didn't seem too impressed all in all. The list of books was followed by several specific cases of magical elves, but after reading a few lines of each, Harry concluded those elves didn't have many active elfish genes. He doubted very much that it would help him to read about someone who had issues about his pointy ears.

"Didn't help?" Lucius noted in amusement Harry how tugged his hair in frustration, gnawing his bottom lip. "There's not much information about elves, is there?"

"No." Harry pouted. "If I had wanted to know that pointy ears and earrings don't mix well, I'd have read a fashion magazine."

"Maybe you really should leaf through one of those, Harry." Narcissa smiled winningly at him. "Those **things** you are wearing don't do much for you..." She stared in distaste at his too large and worn clothes.

"I like them," Harry said defiantly, clutching his Weasley sweater, but couldn't help the blush from raising in his cheeks, "and they're comfortable."

"But, Harry, they make you look like... like a beggar," Narcissa protested. "You really should wear clothes that don't swallow you whole. These make you look even smaller."

"And?" Harry challenged. "I really don't think it'd make much of a difference if I wore tighter clothes only that it'd make me feel uncomfortable. I'm much too small, anyway, I should get used to it."

"You are not too small," Lucius intervened, giving Narcissa a look that clearly stated she should stop now. "Submissives are supposed to have a slight figure."

"Narcissa is not so small," Harry argued. "She's much taller than I am."

"Okay, submissive elves are supposed to be so small." Lucius sighed. "But whatever the case, you are not too small, you are perfect. I won't have you refer to yourself as anything else."

"Oh, you know other submissive elves?" Harry scowled at him before putting his hands in front of his mouth, looking fearfully at the dominant. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, Harry." Lucius replied generously, patting Harry's hair. "You are right, I don't know any submissive elves, but I know enough about them to know they really are supposed to be so small. And you are perfect and beautiful." He took a hold of Narcissa's hand, squeezing it reassuringly. "And no, Cissa, I don't plan on leaving you. You are my mate, you know that, don't you?"

"Yes, I know." Narcissa kissed his cheek in thanks before getting up. "I think I'll go to bed. See you tomorrow, Harry. Good night, Lucius."

"Bye, Narcissa," Harry mumbled and received a brilliant smile in return.

Many appreciative looks followed Narcissa's slim form as she disappeared to the dorms, and though she seemed oblivious to them, Lucius certainly wasn't and sent glares left and right

"How do you know Narcissa is your mate?" Harry asked to distract Lucius from his jealousy that made him feel queasy.

"She has the most alluring scent, and I feel this tugging sensation whenever she is away, compelling me to go and find her," Lucius offered readily. "Veelas also dream of their mates after they first met them: At first, the dreams are vague, but with time the identity of the veela's mate is revealed." A dreamy look crossed his face, and Harry felt like he was intruding before Lucius once again turned to him, smiling. "I hope you'll find someone to dream about as well, Harry. You deserve someone like that, but until then, I'll be here to help you."

"Thanks for being so nice to me," Harry whispered.

"I do my best, Harry." Lucius smirked. "And you make it rather easy for me, too."

"Don't you think I'm a burden?" Harry asked carefully. "I mean, you have Narcissa, why would you even want me around?"

"Look around you, Harry, what do you see?" Lucius questioned, making a vague gesture with his hand.

Harry cautiously glanced around the Slytherin common room: The dark green tapestries that hid the cold stone walls, the black leather furniture, the flickering fire in the crate. He didn't understand what he was supposed to notice. It was just as he remembered from his time, only with more students since the last time he had been here during the holidays.

Lucius chuckled when Harry turned clueless eyes on him. "The people, Harry, not the room itself. What do you see?"

Harry looked around once more and then quickly ducked his head, pressing closer to the blond. "They're all staring at me!"

Lucius smirked and nodded. "They all wish to be in my place."

"Because of Narcissa?" Harry asked hopefully, shivering when Lucius scowled.

"Yes, also because of Narcissa, but right now because of you, Harry."

"But, why... Oh, because you can order me around?" Harry asked sadly, even more confused when Lucius shook his head.

"No, Harry, because you're beautiful, because your presence makes others feel good-"

"That wasn't in the book," Harry protested, staring down at his hands.

"Does something have to be in a book to be true?" Lucius demanded, and Harry hastily shook his head. "You see, Harry, I don't know much about elves, but I know about submissives-"

"Yeah, great," Harry muttered testily. "As if being a fucking elf wasn't bloody well enough. No, I also have to be a stupid submissive!"

"I know it is hard, Harry, but when you find your mate, he'll take care of you and-"

Harry glared at the blond. "That's another thing, who the hell decided that I was gay? **I** certainly didn't!"

"Well, if you really aren't gay, your mate will be a dominate female of course," Lucius stated calmly, seeming not at all bothered that Harry kept interrupting him. "Though, they are rare. But I wouldn't worry about that, Harry. Nature made sure to create someone just for you." He smiled encouragingly at the miffed elf.

"You mean I was created for someone," Harry said bitterly. "I'm nothing without my mate. All those supposedly great powers won't help me at all as long as I haven't found my mate, who tells me what to do to with them. I'll just be a handy weapon."

"Shush now, Harry, you should hear yourself. So much bitterness and so little self-esteem aren't a healthy combination." Lucius sighed, pulling Harry into his side. "Rest assured that I don't see you as merely a potential weapon, but on the contrary as a potential friend. I think your fire is something to admired, and it's rather refreshing to meet a submissive who isn't scared out of his or her mind."

"I'm scared often enough," Harry murmured, shyly leaning more into Lucius' gentle touch. "It's not fair, Lucius."

"I know, Harry," the blond admitted. "But we'll just have to make the best out of the situation, won't we? Though, that's a rather Slytherin trait, I'm afraid."

"I'm Slytherin enough," Harry argued, crossing his arms over his chest.

Lucius smirked in amusement. "Very well, then you will feel right at home here, though, I should probably bring you up to Gryffindor Tower before curfew."

"Okay," Harry answered with little enthusiasm; he almost wished the Hat had sorted him into Slytherin this time.

Lucius slipped an arm around his waist and guided Harry to the Gryffindor Tower, also showing him the classrooms on their way.

"Harry." Lucius stopped in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, who was swooning over Lucius and whispering to herself how cute Harry was. "I want you to go directly to your dorms, ignore Potter and Black and whatever they might say. I'll stay out here for about ten minutes, so if they give you trouble, you'll come back out again, okay? And if something happens after that, or if they don't treat you right, you'll come down to Slytherin, so I can take care of you. Does that sound all right to you?"

"Thank you, Lucius." Harry smiled. "Good night."

Lucius gently pressed a kiss to Harry's forehead before knocking against the Fat Lady, who nearly drooled as he touched her and blushed quite vividly while fluttering her eyelashes. Lucius then disappeared in the shadows.

A small first or second year opened the door, staring at Harry in awe, before letting him pass. Harry hardly glanced up as he quickly crossed the common room. He could sense Remus, James and Sirius sitting near the fireplace, and he could also feel that they weren't at all happy with him, but thankfully they didn't say anything and allowed him to reach the dormitories without causing a scene.

The seventh year dorms were not, like in his own time, the highest dorms in the tower, but were on the third level between he sixth and first years. Other than that, however, the dorms were almost identical, with the same Gryffindor red four-poster beds and the same high windows and dark red curtains. Harry was glad to find his things at the foot of the bed farthest to the right, far away from Remus and the upset dominants.

He quickly changed into his pyjamas, brushed his teeth and then curled up in one corner of his bed, his hangings pulled tightly shut.

* * *

_You know what I'm going to say and I see you're already impatiently inching towards the little review button, just waiting for me to finish my rambling, so I'll do just that. I look forward to your reviews..._


	6. Given a Chance

_Disclaimer: See first chapter._

_Author's Note: Four things: This chapter gives you a hint as to why I chose this title (though, I personally don't like it anymore). I'm in a Christmassy mood. I have to do two more translations. Thanks for all your reviews and I'll answer them tomorrow._

_Beta: Blaithin-mae, thank you for your help with this chapter and for giving me those rules about English commas. It was fun comparing languages._

* * *

6. GIVEN A CHANCE

Remus hadn't slept well; he never did when the full moon was drawing closer or had just passed. With dreams filled with blood and hunger and pain and the irresistible pull of the moon it was no wonder he didn't sleep well. Consequently he was ultimately grateful that he was awake early enough to have the shower all to himself without having to listen to Sirius' fussing over his hair or his shampoo or his boxer-shorts and James wanking about Lily, constantly forgetting to put up Silencing Charms and Peter trying to finish his homework and asking everyone if they knew the answers to certain questions. No, it was definitely better to enjoy a little privacy.

He tiredly rubbed the sleep from his eyes and after gathering his clothes, wandered over to the bathroom door. A small letter was attached to it, his name written on it in an unfamiliar hand and the scent of the little elf radiating from it. He cautiously peered over his shoulder at the new bed, noting that the hangings were already drawn back and that it was empty. It seemed like he hadn't been the first to rise after all. His wand in one hand, he carefully plucked the envelope from the door, mildly surprised when it didn't explode on him and opened it. A small piece of parchment with the same timid handwriting on it fell into his hand:

_Dear Remus_,

_I'm sorry for how I acted yesterday and I wish I could change it; but I can't. Please, Remus, I never meant to hurt you and I don't think you are evil or anything just because you are a werewolf. But you scare me and I can't think rationally when you are around. I'm truly sorry that this is the case but I don't know what to do about it either. _

_You didn't want to be a werewolf. Do you think I wanted to be an elf? I had to leave my friends, I'm dependent on a nice dominant to take care of me because I can't do so myself. A friend of my parents, the only connection I have to them and who is like an uncle to me, can't come near me because he's a werewolf and I would freak out just like I did with you yesterday. He wrote me a letter, I panicked and set it on fire because it smelled like him._

_Do you really think I want that? I'm so scared and no-one seems to be able to tell me what I should expect or what I can do about it. I understand that you must be angry at me, but could you maybe give me a chance? You are not dependent on them, you can survive the day without them, but I can't. I can't survive with them being angry and disgusted at me and I know they are. They will always be your friends, but I need them too._

_I'm very sorry, Remus, please believe me._

_Harry_

He hadn't seen it like this. To be honest, he had happily stored that memory in the dustiest corner of his mind, content in the knowledge that Sirius and James wouldn't deign the little imp as much as a polite glance. Remus sighed, entering the bathroom and quickly stepping under the shower. He felt bad because he had never even considered that Harry's behaviour might not have been because of prejudices but simply a reaction of a submissive elf to a dominant werewolf. Of course it wasn't his fault that he scared Harry but neither was it Harry's fault that he was scared.

He sighed, resolving to talk with James and Sirius about it, maybe they could work something out. His acute werewolf senses told him that the other Gryffindors were gradually waking up so he finished showering and slipped into his school robes.

"How can you be awake at such an unearthly hour?" James stared blearily at him as the werewolf exited the bathroom and started to pack his things for the day.

"It's just the common need to have some breakfast." Remus rolled his eyes. "You should also get up if you want to have more than ten minutes to eat."

James groaned in displeasure but rolled out of his bed, swaying over to the bathroom where Sirius was already standing under the shower, singing his usual "We all live in a yellow submarine".

"Hey Remus, did you do Charms?" Peter asked doe-eyed and Remus sighed.

"Why don't you do your homework after school, Peter? You know I would help you."

"Will you help me now?" Peter pleaded, gnawing his bottom lip.

"If you mean with helping will I let you copy my homework then the answer is 'no'." Remus looked sternly at him. "You can have my notes if you want."

"Fine," the smaller boy grumbled and took the notes from Remus, copying them down on his paper, barely adding a conjunction once in a while.

The werewolf shook his head in exasperation and turned back to his own scrolls of parchment carefully putting them into his bag.

"Are you ready to go? We'll have to hurry or we'll miss breakfast," James said, still ruffling his hair with a towel.

"That's what I've been telling you." Remus scowled. "Peter, are you coming?"

"No, I need to finish this. Bring me a sandwich or something, okay?" Peter muttered and so Remus, Sirius and James went down to the common room.

"We need to talk." Remus stopped them just outside the door.

"Oh, Remus, please don't break up with us." Sirius went down on his knees, raising his hands in a pleading gesture, "I promise the Hufflepuff didn't mean anything to me."

"Sirius, stop it," the tawny-haired boy grumbled. "It's about Harry."

"What about him? Did he do something else?" James spat. "Seems like we have to teach him a lesson..."

"No, would you be reasonable for once?" Remus dragged his hands through his hair. "He wrote me a letter to apologise and it explained a lot of things."

"At least he apologised." Sirius sneered.

"I said it explained a lot," Remus repeated. "It was not his fault and yes, I believe him. Why did Dumbledore want you take care of him? Because he needs you. What do you know about submissive elves, James?"

James shrugged. "They are... I don't know, submissive?"

Even Sirius snorted at this answer.

"So, you don't know anything about elves and even less about Harry. But I know at least that elves are light creatures, and I am dark. James, even you glared at me and acted less than friendly when you came into your inheritance. Now just imagine how it was for Harry. He was frightened and you forcing him to sit back down didn't help matters."

Sirius looked mildly embarrassed at Remus' stern glare. "And what should we do now? I don't want to have him around if that means that I can't be friends with you anymore."

"Did you ever blame me when I hurt you during the full moon?" Remus asked them and they at once shook their heads. "I think Harry deserves the same leniency. Just give him a chance and maybe once he trusts you more, he will be able to get over his fear."

"Fine, we'll be nice to him. Can we go to breakfast now?" Sirius' stomach gave a low grumble as he sent Remus his best puppy-dog eyes.

The two black-haired boys didn't wait for a reply and hastily skipped down the last few steps. Remus followed more sedately.

A flash of wide green eyes caught Sirius' attention, reminding him strangely of his dream and then a small figure slipped out of the portrait whole. He fastened his pace, James hot on his heels.

"Wait!" he shouted and the small boy stopped immediately; allowing him to catch up. "Harry, look up."

Pale hands were clenched in the black robes and as long eyelashes fluttered up the emerald green eyes focused to somewhere over his right shoulder as crystal tears began to cascade down his cheeks. "I'm sorry."

Sirius was shocked at the pain in that small voice and gently took a hold of Harry's chin, turning his head towards him. "We should be sorry, Harry. Forgive me?"

"Why?" Harry whispered, finally locking his beautiful eyes on Sirius'.

"I know now that we shouldn't have treated you like this," Sirius tried to explain himself. "Remus explained it to us. We aren't very rational when it comes to our friends."

"Or I wouldn't be friends with Sirius," James intervened, rummaging through his robes to find a handkerchief for Harry. "I'm sorry, too, by the way."

"I couldn't help it." Harry sniffed. "I really tried but it didn't work. I didn't mean to make you angry."

"Shh, it's fine now. Let's start anew, alright?" Sirius proposed, sticking out his hand. "I'm Sirius Black and if you don't mind I would like to take care of you."

"I'm Harry." The green-eyed elf smiled shyly. "And I think I would like that."

"Perfect." Sirius laughed, brushing away Harry's tears with his thumbs, glad when the smaller boy trustingly leaned into his touch.

Remus carefully approached the group of three and Harry tensed immediately, whimpering quietly. This time, instead of ordering Harry to calm down, Sirius wrapped his arms tightly around the slim waist. "Will you try for me to allow Remus here? I promise I will protect you, okay?"

Harry nodded very reluctantly, staring warily at the werewolf and pressing back into Sirius' chest; trying to compel him to take a step back, to let him flee.

"Hey," Remus greeted self-consciously, noting that Harry seemed to be close to the breaking point. "I won't hurt you, I promise."

At Sirius' beck, James moved between them so that Harry could also hide behind his father's back, which indeed seemed to calm the small elf down a little.

"Hey," Harry finally whispered, peering around the other elf and Remus smiled in relief as Harry's strained face relaxed a little. "Thank you."

"It's not a problem," Remus assured him. "I know what it's like when you have no control over yourself. Are you hungry?"

Harry tensed again, unbidden images of Remus chewing on one of his legs flitted in front of his eyes.

"I think Remus was referring to some nice rolls or maybe scrambled eggs and bacon," Sirius soothed him as if reading his mind, a smirk playing about his lips. "Shall we go?"

"Okay," Harry whispered, blushing lightly, which in Sirius' opinion made him look all the more endearing.

"Then let's hurry." James' stomach protested at the continued lack of food. After a bit of to and fro, he and Remus went ahead because Harry didn't feel safe as soon as there were no arms around him and no body between him and a werewolf.

"You really are afraid of Remus, aren't you?" Sirius asked gently as they followed the other two in a safe distance.

"I... I don't know if I'm afraid of Remus or of werewolves in general," Harry answered softly. "When he's near me all my senses scream at me that he's dangerous and dark and no amount of reasoning can change that. I'm afraid of everyone but I never thought it could be so all-consuming."

"Are you afraid of me, too?" the grey-eyed boy questioned, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"I was yesterday when you were so angry. I wanted so badly to please you and I wanted you to like me." Harry murmured softly.

"I'm sorry, Harry." Sirius sighed. "I can't say it often enough but I promise you don't have to be afraid of me. I will never hurt you, not even when I'm angry."

"But you could," the little elf whispered. "I'm totally at your mercy. I'm totally at **everyone's** mercy."

"Anyone who could hurt someone as beautifully innocent as you should be thrown from the Astronomy Tower after having to endure a dinner with my mother," Sirius growled.

Harry grinned. "As impressive as that threat might be I doubt that that will keep me safe."

"Ah yes, but then there's always the alternative that I will keep you safe." Sirius chuckled. "And I will. Gryffindor honour and all."

"That's a full time job, you know?" Harry laughed, "My friends at home had their hands full. Trouble seems to like me..."

"That would explain why I also like you so much," Sirius purred causing Harry's blush to return full force. "If my parents weren't so... **Victorian**they would have named me Trouble."

"Sirius?" Harry asked suddenly.

"Yes, Harry?"

"You are a veela, aren't you?"

"Yes." Sirius seemed a bit confused. "And?"

"Why aren't you blond?" Harry blurted out. "I thought all veelas were blond. All the veelas I met so far are blond. Lucius and Narcissa and..."

Sirius laughed at him. "So you think I'm no veela because I'm not blond?"

Harry pouted. "I was just wondering..."

"I'm a shadow veela, Harry," Sirius smirked. "That's why my hair is black and why my skin is tanned. Come on, I'll show you."

He dragged a very wary looking Harry to a shadowed corner and wrapped his arms around his waist. To Harry's great relief, it looked for a moment as if nothing would happen. But then the shadows began to rise and swirl like dark grey vapour, enveloping them until they were completely hidden, the shadows closing around them like a dome, though for some reason Harry still had a clear view on the corridor. He looked back at Sirius, who had a look of concentration on his face. As he noticed Harry's gaze, he grinned and released the shadows.

"It comes in handy once in a while," the veela declared. "I can also see better than most in the dark and instead of throwing fire I can throw balls of ice at people."

"Oh, okay," Harry muttered, "Thanks for showing me."

"Not a problem, Harry." Sirius smiled and Harry thought that he very much liked those smiles that made him feel all warm inside and safe on the outside. He scowled.

"Why am I not afraid of you?" he asked almost accusingly. "Shouldn't you be a dark creature?"

Sirius grinned. "You forget that I'm still a veela; a creature of love and passion. How could I possibly be dark?" He spread his arms and swirled around once.

"But..." Harry faltered; he didn't want to offend the veela.

"What were you going to say, Harry?" Sirius prompted. "I promise not to get angry."

"I just thought that shadows aren't exactly light," Harry mumbled causing the taller boy to laugh once more.

"Yes but neither are they dark, are they?" Sirius asked back. "I guess I'm not exactly light, but I'm not exactly dark either. I'm in between darkness and light."

"Oh, okay, I guess that makes sense," Harry agreed with an unsure smile.

Sirius smiled back. "Now, if you don't have any more questions, we should really go before they think that I kidnapped you to have my wicked way with you."

"Sirius?" Harry stopped uncertainly as they entered the Great Hall and the older boy raised an eyebrow expectantly. "Can I say hi to Lucius and Narcissa?"

Sirius growled, displeased, and Harry shied away, hunching his shoulders. Now he had done it again and upset the dominant.

"Okay Harry," Sirius said with a sigh. "I'll come with you and you can say hello and then we'll have a quick breakfast."

"Thank you," Harry whispered and quickly walked over to the Slytherin table before Sirius could change his mind.

"Harry, are you okay?" Lucius asked and stood up from his chair as they approached, glaring briefly at Sirius before he turned back to the smaller boy. "I was starting to worry."

"I'm fine," Harry smiled up at him. "I just wanted to wish you good morning."

"Good." Lucius relaxed slightly. "Good morning to you too. Do you want to eat here?" He was already motioning for the boy sitting next to him to vacate his chair.

"He will eat with us." Sirius growled and Harry found himself in a very possessive embrace. "He doesn't belong here."

"Yesterday you were of the opinion that you didn't need Harry, Black." Lucius sneered. "And you were all too eager to get rid of him."

"Well that changed and now I want him," Sirius retorted.

"I don't want this anymore," Harry whispered, clenching his hands into fists.

"What?" Sirius asked startled and Lucius also stared at the younger boy inquiringly.

"I don't want this anymore. I'm sick of this. I can make my own decisions and all you do is arguing about who will get me. I'm not a piece of meat! I don't want anymore. Let me go! Let me go!" Harry hammered against Sirius' chest, sobbing quietly.

"Harry... Come on, stop this," Sirius said at a loss for words, and the hammering stopped immediately. "Do you want to eat here?"

"No, I have no appetite," Harry whispered. "I don't want anymore."

"Lucius, let me handle this," Narcissa intervened, looking pleadingly at her mate. "You'll do more harm than good."

The blond nodded reluctantly and Sirius after a bit of hesitation allowed his arms to slip and hustled the small elf towards his cousin.

"We'll be in one of the unused classrooms," Narcissa stated firmly, though her voice trembled a little at the prospect of being away from her dom. "Come, Harry."

Harry mutely let her drag him out of the hall. He truly didn't care anymore that his fear seemed to tenfold with every step he took away from the two dominants. He was always afraid; it hardly made a difference anymore. He wanted his old life back, the life where he only had to worry about doing his homework on time and surviving Voldemort. He didn't want to be so dependent. Why couldn't he at least have been a veela? Narcissa seemed to handle all this much better. He didn't understand why he had to be submissive in any case. He had never submitted to anyone and living with a choleric uncle for over ten years and having Voldemort on his heels that did say a lot. It really felt like he had become nothing more than a commodity; one that patiently had to wait until someone came to buy it. He suddenly could relate much better to all the animals in the Magical Menagerie in Diagon Alley.

"Harry?" He looked up in surprise, finding himself seated on the floor, just inside a small, dusty classroom. "You can't fight it."

Harry snorted. "I can damn well try."

"If you don't accept it, you will destroy yourself."

"I'd rather destroy myself than let them do it for me," Harry growled, "I'm so sick of this, Narcissa."

"They're worried about you, Harry. I'm worried about you." Narcissa took his hands.

"And you know what? I'm not worried," Harry said bitterly. "I'm only afraid."

"That's because you don't trust them."

"Why should I trust them? They're all the same; they just want to order me around and have me obey them so that they can feel better. Even when they're in a good mood they still order me around and make decisions for me."

"They are not all the same," Narcissa protested. "You did enjoy Lucius' company yesterday."

"Lucius is yours. He's your mate and whatever I do I'd never be good enough for him," the black-haired boy argued.

"But you will find your mate, too."

"Wrong! If I'm lucky they will find me before someone else feels like having a bit of fun with me," Harry nearly shouted. "I can't feel anything. I don't have any dreams and it's not for me to find my mate."

"Oh, Harry." Narcissa sighed, pulling Harry into a hug. "I didn't know that but I'm still convinced that they will come for you. You know, Sirius likes you a lot."

"No he doesn't..."

"Yes he does Harry, he would never have come to the Slytherin table if he didn't and though his possessiveness didn't get across as something positive; that's how veelas demonstrate that they care about someone. Lucius does it all the time."

"Well, he'll also find his mate and then I'm alone again," Harry returned.

"If his mate were here at Hogwarts I'm sure he would know it by now, Harry. His birthday was almost a year ago and I know that he did look for his mate," Narcissa reasoned, not voicing her suspicions. "So you will have him at least for this year, and then we'll take it from there."

"He won't like me anymore, not after today."

"Do you know how often I broke down in the beginning?" The blonde girl laughed. "I shouted at Lucius to leave me alone at least once a week. Trust me, they love us too much to just let us go."

"But..."

"They might be the ones who order us around but we can make them forget what they wanted to say. Did no-one tell you? They feel the need to protect us and make us happy even if they aren't our mates. Of course, it's stronger if they are but it also works for normal dominants and submissives. All you have to do is to turn on your charm."

"I don't have any charm. I'm not a veela." Harry pouted.

"Of course you do Harry. You have that innocent-naive boy image going on that's screams: 'Protect me and I can make you the happiest man alive!'," Narcissa chastised him. "Like Lucius said you are beautiful - though you should really think about some new clothes."

Harry gave her a watery laugh, feeling inexplicably better. "Okay, but you have to help me pick out some clothes. I never really went shopping before."

"You don't say." Narcissa rolled her pretty blue eyes. "Now we are a bit more than fashionably late for our first class. We should really go."

"What is the first class?" Harry asked, standing up as well.

"Arthimancy," Narcissa answered, already out of the door.

"But I don't have Arthimancy," Harry protested which stopped the Slytherin witch quite effectively.

"Do you have Care of Magical Creatures?" she asked and Harry nodded. "All right, just go outside you should see them soon enough. Do you think you will find the class on your own?"

"Yes, don't worry and thank you," Harry appeased her.

"It's fine, Harry," Narcissa threw over her shoulder before she disappeared around a corner.

As soon as she was gone Harry realised that he felt even more alone and scared and all but ran outside, hoping that one of the dominants would have the class with him. It turned out he needn't have worried as all the Gryffindor boys seemed to have chosen that course.

"I'm sorry, Professor," Harry mumbled, shuffling his feet.

"It's alright, Mr. Parker." The wiry old man seemed delighted to have a second elf in his class. "I think Mr. Black already fetched a mixen."

Harry carefully approached the black-haired veela, who seemed to be preoccupied with avoiding the mixen's vicious bite.

"Hey, little one," Harry whispered holding out his hand. "Why are you so angry?"

The mixen, which looked like a little fox with a long bushy tail and black markings around its eyes, cocked its head and then quickly jumped into Harry's lap nudging his hand to make him pat it.

"That's unfair." Sirius pouted, nursing his hand that now bore marks of sharp teeth and claws over it. "I tried for the last twenty minutes to get it to stop biting at least and you just have to sit down and it acts like a good little puppy."

The mixen lazily bared its teeth at Sirius as he made to pat it as well but relaxed immediately as Harry's nimble fingers ran through its thick fur allowing Sirius to touch it.

"Maybe you should have asked," Harry murmured and they both knew that he wasn't referring to the mixen anymore.

"I should have, Harry." Sirius tipped Harry's chin with his fingers to make him look up. "And I'm sorry that I made you feel bad. I can't change that you are an elf but I will try to make it better for you, okay?"

"Thank you," Harry nodded lightly. "Do you want to hold it? It's really soft and warm."

"And it has sharp teeth," Sirius added. "I'm quite happy to watch you, thank you very much."

"What are we supposed to do?" Harry asked, rearranging his limbs so that he could lean against the older boy.

By the time he realised what he was done, Sirius had already put an arm around his shoulder and drawn him close.

"We were supposed to calm it down." Sirius smirked. "Thanks to you that task is completed. Even Jamie usually has more problems with such things. His mixen calmed down after about ten minutes."

Harry blushed at the compliment looking around at the other pairs, absently stroking the red fur beneath his fingers. Remus, Peter and James sat on the grass; playing with their mixen; something that looked like tug-of-war. The other students were more or less successfully trying to escape sharp teeth and at the same time to keep the mixens from escaping.

"Excellent, Mr. Parker." Professor Kettleburn beamed. "I see you have a good hand for magical creatures. Would you perhaps be so kind and help the other students to calm their mixens down; so that we might begin to note down their characteristics?"

Harry nodded. Though Sirius tried to protest, he soon found his lap full of a sleepy mixen instead of a delicious little elf which he would have much preferred. Harry walked around and with a few touches changed the furious little beasts into tame, friendly little fur balls.

As Harry returned to their place and mixen Sirius had chummed with the fox-like creature and was tickling its belly.

"What about the teeth?" Harry asked with amusement, snuggling back into the other boy's taller frame.

"It's not so bad," Sirius admitted sheepishly. "It's kind of cute."

"Glad you agree." Harry laughed, reaching for a piece of paper to start with the description.

Suddenly the patting transferred from the mixen to Harry's hair, long, callused fingers gliding through the silky black hair. "You are also cute, you know that?" Sirius whispered, making a shiver run down Harry's back as he leaned into the touch. "Much cuter than this little beast here."

"Sirius? What..."

The grey-eyed wizard snapped out of his trance at those words, looking guilty. "I'm sorry, Harry. We should really get this description done. Would you like to take the mixen for a while so I can write? Thank you, Harry."

Sirius frantically rummaged through his bag before wrapping his hand firmly around his quill and jotted some things down, barely looking at Harry or the object of his description. How could he lose control like this? First he hurt Harry and made him cry more than once and then he suddenly had the hots for the smaller Gryffindor? This was so wrong! He couldn't take advantage of Harry like this; he was there to protect him, not to try to get in his pants!

"Did I do something wrong?" Harry finally broke the silence. "I'm sorry."

"No, Harry, it's not like that," Sirius exclaimed, earning him a stern look from the Professor. "You did nothing wrong, okay? I just... You... I can't explain it, Harry, because I don't understand it myself. Let me sort it out myself first, please."

"Okay," Harry agreed at once and Sirius smiled in relief, trying to ignore how absolutely delicious Harry smelled.

This was so not good!

They spent the rest of the lesson in silence, Harry playing with the mixen while Sirius half-heartedly jutted down some keywords. He absentmindedly took Harry by the hand after they had brought their mixen back in the corral with the others and led him up to the castle. Harry whimpered quietly as Remus, Peter and James caught up with them, but relaxed slightly after Sirius' arm tightened around him and both Peter and James walked between him and Remus.

"I can't believe how easily you got them to behave," James mused. "I got ours to calm down after a while, but as soon as I left, it went berserk again. What's your trick?"

"I don't know; it just happened." Harry looked apologetically at him. "I was never very good in Care of Magical Creatures."

"I know what you mean." James laughed putting an arm around Harry's shoulders. "It was the same with me. When I went to the owlery for the first time, after I came into my inheritance, all the owls came down at once and fluttered around me. They were kind of disappointed when I didn't have any treats for them though."

"He came into the common room covered in feathers." Sirius chuckled, eyeing James' arm around Harry's shoulders suspiciously. "And McGonagall gave him a detention for getting the common room and the corridors dirty."

Harry laughed softly, glad that the atmosphere was so relaxed.

"What is our next class?" he asked nudging Sirius slightly; who once again seemed to be on a holiday in dream world.

"What? Oh, double potions with the Slytherins," Sirius murmured his face darkening at the prospect.

Harry groaned.

"Don't like potions much?" Sirius teased him.

"I hate potions," Harry declared with conviction.

"You should have dropped it like I and Remus did," Peter stated.

"If you dropped potions then why are you still here?" Harry asked in confusion. "Remus took another turn about two minutes ago."

"What? Ah, oh..." Peter blushed brightly, and the other Marauders laughed. "I'll better go then."

A tall, thin boy with shallow skin brushed past then. Snorting almost inaudibly as he threw a contemptuous glance at them and before Harry could make the connection to Professor Snape, Sirius had drawn his wand, pushing Harry behind his back.

"What is so funny, Snivellus? Care to share?" he spat with loathing dripping from every syllable.

James and Peter had also drawn their wands though Peter kept in the background, just watching the show unfold.

"I was merely wondering when the **thing** that's constantly trailing behind you would learn to read a simple timetable," Snape drawled with a menacing stare and tense shoulders. "I guess before **it** accomplished that there is hopes that **it** would pass a grade without your generous help."

"At least I have friends, Snivellus," Peter squeaked shaking with rage; a sharp contrast to the Slytherin's rigid form.

"And I **so** envy you for them." The tall boy sneered. "One has a too big head and the other only uses it to grow his hair on it. And of course, then there's the little monster that likes to tag along..."

"Don't speak about Remus like this!" Sirius and James shouted at the same time, levitating the other boy up in the air until he bounced against the ceiling before turning him upside down.

Snape's book bag slipped from his grasp and books, rolls of parchment and potions ingredients spilled over the floor, a broken inkwell ruining the pages.

Harry watched horrified as they turned him upside down so that his robes covered his face and his thin legs were revealed.

"Stop it, please Sirius, stop it," he whispered but Sirius didn't seem to hear him, even when he repeated his plea a little louder.

This was so unfair, three against one. Peter had started to hex the Slytherin randomly and some of those curses were quite vicious when used correctly.

"We should go," James stated in a bored tone, "or we'll be late for class."

"This is not over yet," Sirius spat pocketing his wand while James lowered the thin boy none too gently. "Where's Harry?"

"Maybe he went ahead." James shrugged. "Malfoy is in that class; he must have gone to him. Let's go."

Sirius followed reluctantly, looking over his shoulder more than once. When he was sure that they wouldn't come back, Harry slipped out from the alcove he had hidden in and carefully approached Snape.

"Are you okay?"

"What is it to you? I bet you enjoyed this." The black-eyed boy glared at him, picking up his things and trying to save his assignments.

"No, I didn't," Harry said quietly, using a spell to repair the inkwell and to pour the ink back into it. "I'm sorry I didn't stop them."

"I don't need your pity," Snape growled, snatching the inkwell from Harry's hands.

"I don't pity you. I just said that I feel bad because I didn't stop them because it would have been the right thing to do," Harry said evenly. "I don't know you. How should I know if you deserve my pity?"

"Then why didn't you stop them?" the future Potion's Master challenged. "Didn't want to get your hands dirty, did you?"

"I can't disobey them," the green-eyed elf returned. "I can't even displease them."

"Oh, you're the little elf, right," the taller boy stated, sounding as if he didn't care in the least, and then swiftly turned and walked towards the potion's classroom.

Harry followed silently.

"What is your problem? I have no interest in a puppy that follows me wherever I go," the Slytherin boy snapped, and Harry shied away.

"I have potions now, too," he answered softly. The other wizard huffed but continued on his way, picking up speed so that Harry almost had to run to keep up.

"Mr. Snape, you are late," a square-shouldered witch with something like diving goggles in front of her eyes admonished him as they entered.

"Professor, it was my fault," Harry said before Snape could get out a word. "I got lost and Snape was so nice to show me the way."

"Mr. Parker, am I correct?" The witch eyed him from head to toe. "I'm Professor Degenhardt, the Potion's Mistress. We are working on a project to combine two healing potions and a potion of your choosing. We will be working in pairs. Let's see; I think you can work with Mr. Snape, I'm sure he will catch you up in no time."

Snape sent him a glare as he sat down next to him; Harry gulped.

"So... which three potions are we combining?" Harry asked timidly, trying to get the other boy's attention.

"Two potions," Snape answered indifferently, adding powdered spider legs.

"But she said we should combine three potions," Harry argued.

"I'm not deaf," Snape growled, swivelling around to sneer quite impressively at him. "And this is **my** project, so keep your nose out of it."

"This is **our** project," Harry stressed, halting the taller boy's hand. "I don't expect you to like me; I could care less if you do, to be honest. But I won't let you do all the work. I'm not stupid so explain to me what you are doing so that I can help you."

"If you had even an inkling of an idea about potions you would let me drop this in the potion before it explodes," Snape sneered.

"And if you possessed a bit of decency; you would stop shouting at me." Harry glared at him, knocking against Snape's hand so that he dropped the dried leaves.

"Pain-relief and a Bone-mending Potion," Snape said shortly. "I haven't decided on the third potion yet."

"Why only two potions?" Harry asked chancing a look at the Slytherin, who was chopping some roots with practised ease.

"Because it's easier that way. I'll create a whole new potion after which I then only have to combine it with another one," the black-haired boy answered. "Stir counter-clockwise after I add the mandrake roots."

"Okay," Harry nodded obediently, stirring the potion while Snape started to powder another ingredient.

They worked in an almost companionable silence only breached when Snape gave Harry a new instruction every once in a while. Finally the future Potion's Master declared that the potion was finished and he quickly bottled it, leaving Harry to clean up their workplace.

"Why did you lie for Snivellus?" Sirius demanded as Harry stepped out of the classroom. "Where were you?"

"I didn't lie. He showed me the way," Harry said stubbornly.

"Then why didn't you stay with us?" the black-haired veela asked, looking confused and hurt.

"Because I don't enjoy witnessing you bully someone," the submissive said tiredly. "I didn't want to see it because it is wrong. You were ignoring me, that's why I didn't go with you."

"But he deserved it!" Sirius protested.

"Oh, yes?" Harry challenged. "I don't understand. You started it and you were three against one. Sirius, I don't want you to be angry at me again, but if I had a choice I would rather side with Snape in this."

"Why, Harry?" Sirius tried very hard to keep his temper in check.

"Because I know how it is if you are completely out-powered." Harry sighed. "I've been bullied all my life and it doesn't feel good. I just don't want anyone to have to endure something like that."

"Who bullied you?" Sirius growled protectively; briefly forgetting about Snape and the matter at hand.

"The kids in my Muggle school." Harry shrugged. "There was one of the big kids who didn't like me so he made sure that no-one would be stupid enough to be nice to me. One of my teachers at my old school, he apparently knew my parents and hated my dad so he took it out on me. The veela who was supposed to take care of me, he never liked me and that didn't change just because I had to obey him."

"I'm sorry, Harry." Sirius sighed pulling the smaller boy to his chest. "I certainly don't want to remind you of any of them. Lily and Remus; they don't approve of it either, you know? I'll try to grow up but I can't promise you anything."

"How touching." Snape had finally exited the classroom after talking with the professor about an assignment for extra-credit. "Parker, we need to meet sometime to decide on a potion. I don't suppose you can fit it in your tight schedule?"

"I can come down to the dungeons after dinner," Harry offered neutrally, pleading with his eyes for Sirius to keep out of this. "Unless you want to go to the library?"

"The common room is fine." Snape strode away without another word.

"Thank you, Sirius," Harry whispered gratefully, snuggling into the older boy's chest. "This really means a lot to me."

"I should hope so," Sirius muttered, absently drawing circles on Harry's back. "You know we don't always start it. He hexes us every chance he gets."

"Then prove that you are the more mature one of you two and that you outgrew this childish grudge," Harry pleaded.

"Mature isn't a word that people would generally apply to me." Sirius grinned impishly. "Besides, it might just make my parents proud if I grew out of my childishness."

"You don't like your parents very much, do you?" Harry asked cautiously as Sirius steered them towards the Great Hall.

"No, not really." Sirius sobered up. "They were really disappointed when I was sorted into Gryffindor. My whole family went to Slytherin and they're so damn proud of it. I just don't fit their image of what the family heir should be like. They tried everything to set me right again - I was resorted three times; every time ending up in Gryffindor. Somewhere along the way I stopped trying to please them because I realised that I would never be who they wanted me to be. Instead I played pranks and skipped classes and associated with Muggleborns. My family is one of those that think that only Purebloods should be allowed magic and that it would be best to kill all the Muggles prophylactically so that there wouldn't be anymore Muggleborns to infest our world. I even took Muggle Studies just to get a rise out of them. I moved in with James after fifth year. He's like a brother for me and his parents treat me like I was their second son. I think it's only a matter of time until my parents disown me."

"I'm sorry." Harry shyly pressed his lips to Sirius' cheek before blushing bright red. "I think you are perfect how you are now!"

"Why, thank you." The taller boy laughed, ruffling Harry's hair. "I'm also quite glad that I didn't become who my parents wanted me to be, otherwise I would be married or at least betrothed to Melanie Bullstrode by now..." He shuddered demonstratively and Harry laughed as he imagined the handsome young man married to the square-faced, pudgy girl.

"But," Harry said and scowled as a thought hit him, "you are a veela!"

"I thought we had covered this already?" Sirius chuckled.

"You have a mate; you can't marry someone else," Harry protested.

"Oh, I assure you my parents would have found a way. Besides, it's not like I would be required to produce more than one heir with her. After that, I would be free to indulge in my private pleasure - of course, all with due discretion."

"I'll never understand Purebloods," Harry muttered, making Sirius laugh once more.

"Trust me, it isn't worthwhile trying to understand them. It's dreadfully boring." He smiled that warm and safe smile again. "Now, what do you say to enormous amounts of foods to make up for the missed breakfast?"

"Sounds great," the green-eyed boy agreed, glad as Sirius once again put an arm around him when they came near Remus and he even felt brave enough to smile a little at the werewolf.

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_Wouldn't you agree that I deserve lots of reviews for this long chapter? How fortunate then that you can contribute..._

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	7. Potions

_Disclaimer:__ See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: Uh, sorry? I'm sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out to you, but I hope you'll like it nonetheless and that I can update soon again. And I wish you all a very Merry Christmas! Cookies for everyone!_

_Beta(s): Adah Eyes, thank you for betaing this chapter so quickly.  
Blaithin-mae, I hope you'll feel better soon._

_

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**7. POTIONS**

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Sirius asked for the umpteenth time as Harry gathered his potions book, a roll of parchment, ink, and a quill and pushed everything into his bag.

"Yes, Sirius, I'm sure." Harry could barely keep from rolling his eyes, but decided that this would most likely anger the dominant and he really didn't feel like having another breakdown. "Lucius will be there, too. He can look after me, don't worry."

"Excuse me if I don't like the thought of the little slimeball getting close to you," Sirius growled.

"Snape is anything but little." Harry sighed and viciously stamped on the urge to apologise or abandon his plans to meet with Snape just to please the dominant. "And since I don't intend to braid his hair, I don't really care if it's greasy or not. Please, Sirius, can I go now? I don't want to be late."

"Fine," Sirius conceded, "I'll wait up for you."

Harry muttered something under his breath, but left before anyone could ask him what he had just said.

"Man, Padfoot." James seemed highly amused. "What a move!"

"I don't know what you mean. At least one of us is taking his job seriously," the grey-eyed boy answered coldly. "I haven't seen you doing much for Harry so far."

"That might have to do with the fact that you hardly took your eyes off him." James smirked. "Besides, you **did** look like you would bite my arm off when I put it around Harry's shoulders."

"The Bludgers must have addled with your brain, Prongsie," Sirius grumbled, "I only took care of a submissive."

"Yeah, sure, and you have no fleas, Paddy." The Chaser rolled his eyes.

"I don't have fleas!"

"That's what I just said, isn't it?" James answered innocently, but was not fast enough to escape as Sirius pounced.

"Just what are you implying?" Sirius growled after he had nailed his best-friend to the floor.

"I merely voiced the fact that it is a tad bit curious that you gave Harry more of your attention and those dreamy, horny looks than anyone else in the last year. Considering that you only use that technique when you want to get in someone's pants, you might just be on the wrong address with the little imp."

"I don't fancy him!" the veela all but shouted, plopping down in his armchair.

"Sirius, if that's true, James doesn't fancy Lily, either," Remus intervened gently, who had moved from behind his tower of books to join them.

"You were the one who told us we should take care of him," Sirius spat testily. "Don't you turn this against me now. I don't fancy him!"

With that statement he stood up and disappeared into the dormitories. A door banged shut.

While the remaining three Marauders decided that it would be best to leave Sirius alone for now (and while the object of their discussion took a cold shower) Harry had reached Slytherin territory. Lucius smiled in greeting as he stepped into the common room and patted the seat next to him. Snape was already leafing through a potions textbook, marking some pages. He wordlessly pushed another thick tome towards Harry.

"Are you okay again, Harry?" the veela asked gently as Harry leaned against his shoulder.

"Yes, I'm sorry for losing it like that at breakfast," Harry murmured, reaching for one of the books Severus had piled at the table.

"It's okay, I really shouldn't have got involved in such a stupid debate," Lucius admitted. "I'm glad Narcissa could help you."

"She did help me a lot," Harry agreed. "Where is she, anyways?"

"I think the plan was to set one of her girl-friends up with quote: 'the hottest guy in the school who isn't a veela,'" Lucius answered with faked boredom, but Harry could see him tense as he so casually mentioned Narcissa finding anyone but him attractive.

"So I have you all to myself?" Harry grinned up at Lucius, nudging the blond's arm so that he would embrace him.

"Yes, I'm totally at your mercy, Harry." Lucius laughed. "Whatever shall I do for you?"

"Parker, I was under the impression that you came here to help me with that project, but if you'd rather flirt with everything with two legs, I would appreciate it if you handed back that book," Severus interrupted them and Lucius hissed warningly at him.

"Be nice to Harry, Severus. And don't ever insinuate something like this again."

That was when Harry decided to experiment a little. Hadn't Narcissa suggested that he could wrap them all around his little finger? Well, it was worth a try.

He looked up at Lucius with his best sad puppy-dog eyes (the kind that could melt even McGonagall and Hermione) and pulled himself up against the blond. Lucius' whole demeanour changed so quickly that it was almost frightening.

"Oh, Harry." Lucius gently grasped Harry's face, caressing his cheeks. "I'll make it all better for you, little one. You don't have to be so sad."

"Snape is so mean to me," Harry whispered, sniffing demonstratively, and concluding that it wouldn't be too bad if the other boy actually was civil to him.

"Hush, I'll talk to him," Lucius crooned, pulling Harry sideways into his lap. "Severus, you will apologise to Harry and treat him with respect and as much amenability as you can possibly muster."

The green-eyed boy was quite surprised how fast Lucius' soft voice could change to a one of commanding steel and even more surprised that his future Potion's Master gave in almost immediately, offering something like a semi-genuine apology.

"Is it better now?" the dominant veela asked with concern, running his hands through Harry's hair.

"Yes, much better, thank you, Lucius." Harry smiled at him, kissing his cheek. He saw his experiment as successfully completed and mentally wrote a _'__quod erat demonstrandum_' under the protocol.

The veela continued to rock him gently as Harry and Snape worked on their project, the latter throwing weird glances at the two creatures, almost as if he knew what Harry had been doing. But Harry wrote it down to paranoia. After all, it wasn't always easy to keep this bitter teenager apart from his bitter and vengeful Potion's Master, who had the un-agreeable habit of poking his hooked nose into matters that didn't concern him and could get Harry into trouble.

"What if we combine it with an Aging Potion?" Harry proposed. "If the potion is strong enough and ages someone a lot, the bones would be fragile and a pain-relief surely wouldn't be unnecessary, either."

"For all I care," Snape muttered, but noted it down. "However, this is a potion that is very easy to combine, and really who wants to age themselves more than a year or two?"

"There are some spells and magical devices that can de-age you," Harry argued. "I'm sure the victims would appreciate it if they can be painlessly returned to their own age."

"I'm not saying that it isn't an option, just that it isn't the best option," the future Potions professor returned.

"And what is the**best**option?" Harry asked mildly annoyed, closing his fourth book.

"If I knew what is I wouldn't have to spend my time with you," Snape snapped and Lucius growled warningly at him.

Harry came to the conclusion that perhaps he should have thought more thoroughly about the consequences of getting Lucius in a protective mode; the veela looked ready to tear of Snape's head and then go back to cuddling with Harry.

He had to act fast now, distract the blond. "Lucius." Harry nudged the older boy's chin to get his attention. "I'm hungry."

"Shall I get you something to eat, Harry?" Lucius all but purred and Harry nodded vigorously. "Anything specific you would like?"

"No, no, anything you bring me is fine." Harry smiled in relief as he was gently deposited on the sofa and Lucius strode out of the common room.

"You manipulated him," Snape deadpanned and Harry nodded guiltily. "That's quite Slytherin of you."

"Now I only have to find out how to get him back to normal." Harry sighed. "I'm sorry he was like that to you."

"It's fine, Parker." The Slytherin rolled his dark eyes. "It was actually quite amusing to see him like this. Normally, he's more than composed and perfect."

Harry chuckled and then immersed himself once more in one of his books. "You can call me Harry, you know? It's not like Parker is my real name."

"Hiding something, **Harry**?" Snape challenged.

"Only that I was adopted and that my guardians were probably happier if they could just give me back," Harry answered evenly. "They could barely handle that I'm a wizard, that I'm now also an elf was most likely the last straw for them."

The other boy merely nodded his head in understanding, turning to the next page in his book.

"Snape?" Harry asked suddenly, sniffing the air. "What are you?"

"The last time I checked I was a wizard," Snape replied sarcastically. "Maybe that changes with the weather."

"I didn't mean that – I'm not afraid."

"Let's all applaud for you."

"You can't be a dominant because then I would be afraid of you, but you can't be a submissive, either, because I'm feeling quite safe," Harry continued. "And I can't sense any creature in you."

The other boy seemed surprised for a split second and Harry needed a split second longer to recognise it as surprise, but then Snape's face went back to indifference.

"What are **you** hiding, **Severus**?" Harry smiled sweetly at him, "Maybe I should ask Lucius later or maybe James or Sirius..."

"Don't you dare," the greasy-haired boy threatened, but quickly realised that there wasn't much he could do without risking to be expelled. "Keep this to yourself."

"And what is it that should I keep to myself?" Harry inquired.

"I'm a neutral," at Harry's blank expression he continued, "That's someone who has too many different kinds of creature blood, so that their blood neutralises itself. I am what others want to see in me: dominant or submissive. Until now, no one noticed anything weird. How did you do it?"

"Maybe I just wanted someone, who can't order me around, but who still makes me feel relatively safe," Harry offered. "Why are you hiding this?"

"Because," - Severus sighed - "neutrals are rare and though they themselves are no creatures their children almost always have a creature inheritance. I have no desire to have someone marry me just because of my genes."

"So basically you are in the same shit as I am in," Harry summed up. "Only that you can avoid being found out."

"Basically, yes." Severus nodded. "You won't tell anyone, will you?"

"No," Harry replied at once and the other boy visibly relaxed, "but can we stop this stupid potion thing for now? Please, Severus, please."

"One of the perks of being a neutral is that I'm immune to what you call charm," the future Potion's Master droned with a hint of amusement. "But yes, we can finish this sometime later."

"Thank you." Harry smiled, at once closing his book and slumping into the sofa, which made the other wizard roll his eyes.

"What are you waiting for? You are free to escape from my less than pleasant presence." He sneered.

"I'm waiting for Lucius to see if he'll bring me to Gryffindor Tower," Harry answered with his eyes closed. "I don't want to go alone once more."

Severus once again nodded before he went back to reading his book and ignoring Harry. Harry sighed, snuggling into the soft cushions. It both felt good to have Severus with him without sneering and belittling him and strangely not enough. He felt safer with Severus, but not as safe as if Lucius or his father or Sirius were here, though at the same time he was glad that he was relatively free like this. He wasn't forced to believe the other boy's every word, nor did he need to obey him and try to make him happy. It was almost as if he was back to being just a wizard again.

"Parker." His head snapped up at Lucius' cold tone and he instinctively covered away from the imposing blond. "You manipulated me."

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered miserably. "I... don't be angry, please. Narcissa said that I could and I wanted to try it and then I didn't know how to stop it... I'm sorry."

Suddenly Lucius laughed, sitting down on the sofa next to Harry and pulling himagain onto his lap. "So I was your test person?"

"No, you... you... yes, I'm sorry."

"I'm not angry." Lucius chuckled. "But imagine my surprise when I found myself asking the house-elves for something to eat for a starving little elf."

"You kind of scared me," Harry admitted sheepishly. "You hissed at Severus and you had a really tight hold on me."

"I might have calmed down sooner if you hadn't kept nuzzling against me, making those little sighing sounds," the blond offered.

"I wasn't nuzzling against you!" Harry protested.

"Oh yes, you were." Lucius smirked. "And it was driving me crazy."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he replied. "But maybe you should practise a bit more." Harry stared at him in surprise. "Maybe the Gryffindors would like to fulfil a few of your wishes."

"Why, you are evil." Harry laughed.

"Thank you." Lucius smirked, inclining his head slightly. "Now, I only have to talk to Narcissa so that she won't corrupt you anymore."

"You are not angry at her, are you? She didn't tell me to do that..." the green-eyed boy begged and Lucius soothingly rubbed his lower back.

"No, I'm not angry at her, nor am I angry at you, Harry," he assured him. "But I'd rather not lose control like that again. It might have been harmless enough, but if you had pushed a bit further I might have gone too far with my possessiveness." Harry blanched and Lucius pressed a kiss to his forehead. "You are very tempting like that and you should make sure that** you** at least have it under control, Harry."

"I didn't think it would work," Harry whispered and Lucius chuckled once more.

"Well, it did. I just want you to be safe, all right? Good, then let's get you back to your tower. I guess, you were waiting for me?"

Harry nodded, gathering his book bag, and the veela put an arm around him, leading him upstairs.

"Thank you." Harry stood on his tiptoes to kiss Lucius' cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Of course, little one." Lucius smiled one of his rare honest smiles and then kissed Harry's forehead. "Sleep well."

"Good night, Lucius." Harry waited until the blond was out of earshot before he whispered the password and slipped into the common room.

Only a few stressed students were frantically reading through books and scribbling down their homework, but to Harry's surprise Sirius wasn't there to wait for him. He felt a pang of disappointment before immediately reprimanding himself. Sirius had better things to do than to wait for him.

Remus was the only one still awake when he entered the dormitory, reading up on some background information on Mixens.

"Hey." The werewolf smiled at him as Harry hesitated at the door. "Should I wait outside?"

"No," Harry whispered, scared by the thought of Remus moving towards him. "I'll just be in the bathroom."

He hastened to the door, feeling very much like a frightened animal, and locked the door behind him. Even through the closed and locked door he could sense the werewolf moving in the other room and to his horror he came nearer.

A knock on the door. "Harry, I've put your pyjamas in front of the door. I'll just be downstairs."

Soft steps went away from the bathroom door and Harry managed a small whispered 'thank you' before the door to the corridor closed behind Remus.

He quickly brushed his teeth and changed into his pyjamas. After carefully checking that Remus hadn't returned yet he left the relative safety of the bathroom and quickly crossed the room to hide in his own bed, curling once again up in a corner and closing the drappings.

He heard and sensed Remus return ten minutes later and tensed, only minutely relaxing when he could feel Remus drifting off to sleep. But still, it was a long time until he, too, found rest.

*_*_*

Sirius tossed in his sleep, knocking one of his pillows from his bed, and hopelessly tangling himself in his sheets. _Small, pale feet._ If the rational part of his mind had been awake, it would have pointed out that he had never thought of feet as erotic, but as it was, his dream self, licked and sucked on the small toes, drawing a sensual almost inaudible mewl from the person belonging to the feet. He gently suckled on the person's right ankle, nipping at the sensitive skin before he moved to the other foot and repeated the process.

He shot awake, his chest sweaty and his hands almost shaking. He cursed softly so as not to wake the other boys and quietly slipped out of his bed and into the bathroom to take care of a very prominent problem, all the while damning his dream self for being so obsessed with feet and damning himself because he also liked **those** feet.

Sirius washed himself off and pulled on a pair of fresh and dry pyjama bottoms. There was something seriously wrong with him. Not even this old joke managed to cheer his mood. First, he had this very slight, almost none existent obsession with the new student (which James and Remus had of course blown out of proportion) and then he had a dream about feet_ - deliciously sexy feet_, his inner voice supplied and was promptly hit over the imaginary head - and got hard from it. The logical conclusion was that he had been pranked or that he was losing his mind. He wasn't sure which option he would prefer, but he knew a cure for both. Getting laid. If he had been pranked it would save his reputation and if he was losing his mind, well, at least he would enjoy it.

That decided, he returned to his bed (with a small, not at all significant detour to Harry's bed) and spent the time until he fell asleep counting all his past and potential lovers, who would all gladly help him to prevent any more disturbing dreams and to get over his non-existing crush on Harry.

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_You know, I have a great idea for a present. And you don't even have to wrap it! Reviews! Yes, I know, it's ingenious :-)_


	8. Fights

_Disclaimer: See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: Happy New Year, everyone! I wish you all a year full of motivation, creativity, happiness and success! And I hope you'll like this chapter._

_Now beta'd, thanks to my two wonderful betas Blaithin-mae and Adah Eyes, who gave me the first okay for posting._

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**8. FIGHTS**

Three weeks had passed and Harry was feeling at least marginally better. He still wanted to cower from Remus or the other dominants when they were angry and periods of fear and desperation were followed by periods of anger and self-pity, which again were followed by periods, short moments, where he felt almost normal. He could never quite forget that he was a submissive elf, but he was adjusting, adapting, dealing.

Narcissa was a great help in all of this and whenever Harry was threatened to be overwhelmed by his despair, she would drag him to some unused classroom or her dormitory, which, to Harry's utter humiliation, had decided that Harry was not man enough to keep him out, and explain and soothe and tell him about her own experiences. The blonde also had quite a mischievous streak and though she loved Lucius more than life itself, she was not above teasing him, turning on her charm and sending him on errands for her own and Harry's amusement. Lucius took it all in good humour, which may have had something to do with the heated kisses Narcissa bestowed on him once she had tired of her game.

But Harry knew there was also another reason why Lucius played along without serious protest and it filled him with envy and longing to know that he had no one like this. Lucius allowed it to give Narcissa a modicum of control, to smooth the edges of the bitter helplessness she also had to be feeling, to make her feel better. Though he had told Harry he didn't mind being charmed by the elf, either, it was just not the same because it was not done out of love but out of pity, which Harry didn't want in the first place.

Narcissa had also insisted that Harry get some new clothes and so she had dragged Harry with her and Lucius to Hogsmeade, hadn't even allowed him to get some sweets or a butterbeer before purposefully pulling him to a clothes shop that Harry had never known to exist. And that had only been the beginning because although the blond witch had had very clear ideas as to what Harry should wear and what would suit him, she still had wanted Harry to try on at least half the shop before she had settled on the two outfits she had picked out in the very beginning. In fact, it had been three outfits but Harry had protested that; he didn't need more than two as he would be wearing school robes over them anyway. Narcissa had pouted and turned to Lucius for help, but finally she had grudgingly put one of the outfits back. Instead she had selected a new pair of shoes, a hat and gloves that, according to her, Harry just had to have. Harry had resigned himself to his fate, and paid for his things even though Lucius had tried to protest.

"I can pay for my own things." Harry had glared at him with as much vigour as he could muster. "I might not be as rich as you, but that doesn't mean I need charity on top of everything else."

Lucius had just put a hand on Harry's shoulder, rubbing in understanding and followed him to the cash desk, nonetheless, scowling fiercely at the young man behind it when he had tried to flirt with Harry. After that Harry had been ready to flee the shop and drown his embarrassment in a couple of butterbeers, but as it had turned out Narcissa had had other plans. With a cheerful "My turn." she had directed the two boys to a small bench and started a fashion show. Lucius had been delighted; Harry had been bored.

But all this torture had been rather worth it, not that Harry wanted to admit this to himself, when he had shown his outfits to the Gryffindors. James had wolf-whistled, Lily had smiled appreciatively, Remus had given him two thumbs-up and Sirius had commented that he looked very "fuckable". Then he had apologised and fled the room. Peter had ignored him as was his habit.

Harry didn't know what he had done to warrant the chubby boy's antipathy, or if it was even antipathy or something else. He sometimes thought it might be jealousy, but Harry didn't see what reason Peter would have to be jealous of him. In any case, they were happy to treat each other with mutual ignorance.

The other Seventh Years were nice enough, though it was hard for Harry to find a niche for himself in the tight-knit group around his father. They were friendly and made him laugh and even offered a few hugs every now and then, but they just as often disappeared to plan or implement their pranks or in Sirius' case to meet one of his many female and male acquaintances. But Harry wasn't going to complain.

*_*_*

"Today, we are going to duel," the Defence professor declared.

Professor Levis was a Junior Auror, who had been transferred for disciplinary reasons, involving some careless wand-waving in a fit of panic. But still, he bore his fate of temporary suspension comparatively well and with good humour. He was well-muscled and tall and knew a lot about the Dark Arts and had an easy-going nature, which made him one of the favourite teachers. If he hadn't been so careless and likely to digress and talk about his adventures for hours, he would have been competing with Remus Lupin for the best Defence teacher Harry had ever had.

"But not your usual duel." He smiled like he had a huge present waiting for his students. "We need a volunteer." He looked around the room. "Ah, yes, Mr. Black, why not you? It might even serve to distract you from that, surely very interesting, doodle you're drawing." Sirius rolled his eyes, but got up. "The others please form a circle around him."

He waited till they had done as he said before he continued giving instructions: "Now, Mr. Black will try to defend himself against you while you each throw a curse at him - nothing too harmful, mind you. Miss Evans, if you would start? We'll go clockwise. Any questions? No, well, then start whenever you are ready."

Lily waited for a moment longer before she fired a Whole-Body Bind at Sirius, who easily deflected it as he did with the next three curses. James' curse threw him a bit of balance, coming immediately after Peter's weak Stunner and Remus' Freezing Curse, but when Harry hesitated he had time to gather his breath.

"Mr. Parker, is there a problem?" the professor asked as Harry didn't make a move to attack the other Gryffindor.

"I... I can't hurt him." Harry shook his head wildly. "It's wrong."

"Harry, I really don't mind." Sirius carefully approached the trembling little elf. "You can visit me in the infirmary, what do you say?"

"I can't." Harry insisted weakly.

"Come on, Harry," James intervened. "Just imagine it was Remus."

"That's not funny." Harry sent him a half-hearted glare. "I couldn't hurt him, either."

"Could someone tell me what the problem is?" Levis interrupted.

"Harry obviously has a problem with attacking a dominant," Lucius stated the obvious. "Why though, Harry?"

"You'll be angry and I... can't," Harry finished meekly.

"Harry, I promise, I won't be angry, okay?" Sirius firmly grasped his shoulders, but then released him immediately as if burned and jumped a step back, breathing heavily with his eyes dilated. "I want you to curse me - and not willy-nilly but with with full power - that's an order."

Harry slumped in defeat, shivering uncontrollably but hesitantly raised his wand. James moved behind him, gently massaging his shoulders.

"Take a deep breath and then say your curse and everything will be over with," he murmured soothingly, but as Harry threw his curse, it raced too fast for anyone to react and hit Sirius square in the chest.

"No!" Harry collapsed and crawled towards Sirius' unconscious form, cradling his face between his hands and burying his face in the crook of his neck. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

He cried bitter tears into Sirius' robes, his wings coming out to shield them both.

Sirius slowly blinked his eyes open, staring at the stone ceiling, before he became aware of the weight on his chest and the soft feathers tickling his skin as small puffs of erratic breathing teased his neck. _Too good._ James's smirking face moved into his line of vision as he shifted slightly, craning his neck to look around.

"You asked for it," his best friend told him not at all sympathetically.

"Ehm, Harry, I'm fine, you know? You can stop crying." He cautiously stroked one of the inky wings, imagining he was patting his owl and not this enticing little creature because that would completely destroy his ingenious plan to avoid Harry at all costs so that he wouldn't jump him in a fit of uncontrollable lust.

The small elf backed away from him, looking up fearfully as Sirius also sat up, rubbing his neck. "I'm sorry."

"I told you to attack me, Harry." Sirius sighed, opening his arms despite his better judgment and soon found himself with a lap full of crying elf. "It's not your fault I was too slow. Besides, I'm really fine."

"I shouldn't have hurt you, it's wrong. You are my dominant, I'm not allowed to hurt you, you should hurt me." Harry sobbed.

"I won't hurt you," Sirius protested vehemently. "Whatever your old dominant told you was wrong. You should never be punished for something you had no control over. And dominants aren't supposed to hurt their submissives, no matter what. Believe me."

"That doesn't mean that they don't, does it?" Harry whispered. "I know that what he did was wrong - I've been told often enough - but a lot of people do things they shouldn't do because it's easier or because they enjoy it or for whatever reason. They just do."

"I know that the world is not all fairytales, Harry." Sirius sighed. "But I'm not angry and I will not hurt you."

"Okay," Harry whispered before scowling lightly. "It **was** your fault, kind of."

Sirius chuckled.

"Mr. Parker, this was exceptional." Levis exclaimed as they both had got up from the floor. "I've never seen a spell cast so quick outside of Auror training. Ten points to Gryffindor and ten more when you tell me what spell it was."

Harry blushed and mumbled something before repeating it more loudly with a bit of prodding from Sirius. "A Stinging Hex."

"Curious," the professor mused. "Normally, those don't have such sweeping effects."

"Stinging Hex, huh?" Sirius asked. "You were angry at me, weren't you?"

"You wanted me to hex you, so I did," Harry justified himself stubbornly. "I only did what you told me."

"I know, Harry," the grey-haired boy replied. "That hex was powerful though."

"Of course it was," Harry said bitterly. "I'm a stupid submissive."

"Now, now, Mr. Parker," Professor Levis intervened good-naturedly. "I never heard someone complain about too much power. I assure you many of my colleagues would envy you for that hex." Harry remained silent and so the teacher continued, "Maybe you would like to go next, unless you have a problem with the defence part as well?"

Harry mutely shook his head and stood in the middle of the circle, waiting for Lily to start. He didn't have a problem with this part of the exercise, though to him it seemed like the four other creatures weren't too keen to hex him either.

"Very good, Mr. Parker." Levis applauded politely when Harry had completed his turn without being hit. "It's seems you have a talent for this. Ten points to Gryffindor. Who would like to go next?"

Harry slunk back into the circle so that he stood between Sirius and James and listlessly cast his spells. As it was, no-one came past him and some failed even before that. After the earlier incident, he was allowed to pass the rounds with Lucius, James and Remus, though the professor seemed a bit confused as to why Harry refused to raise his wand against the werewolf, as were most of the other students.

Lucius and Remus completed their turns without being hit and James at least managed to avoid two thirds of the curses before he was taken out, to his absolute horror, by Severus.

"Everyone had a turn?" Levis grinned his usual; teeth-showing smile that made many of the girls and some of the boys swoon. "Let's see: Homework." There was a collective groan, which made the teacher laugh. "Just kidding, enjoy your weekend!"

"So what are we going to do until the tryouts?" James challenged as the four Marauders plus Harry stood outside of the Defence classroom, allowing the other students to pass them.

"Go outside?" Sirius suggested nonchalantly, looking anywhere but at Harry. "We can always go for a swim in the lake before it gets too cold."

"Sounds good to me, any objections?" James asked, looking around. "Great, then let's go. Lily flower, you'll be coming too, right? Please?"

Lily looked up from her book bag with a light scowl. James silenced any possible protest with a fierce kiss and Harry didn't know if he felt more embarrassed or happier when Lily melted against his father and then nuzzled into his neck with a sigh.

"Alright," she agreed. "But I want to start on my Charms essay this evening."

In the end, Lily brought her friend Rebecca with her and Sirius asked a girl from Ravenclaw; Patricia, to join them. Remus brought a book and Peter would have brought x-ray glasses if he had known that they existed and had known how to get some on short notice.

After a short swim in the lake, Harry decided that while he might be a creature of forest, water still wasn't his element and the safe ground seemed much more inviting than a hug by the giant squid, who had been paddling lazily towards him.

Remus hadn't even bothered to dip one toe into the water and was quietly leaning against a tree trunk, reading his book, only looking up from time to time to observe the other students. Harry carefully approached him until he decided that the picnic basket was the least he needed between them and sat down on his towel, curling his toes in the soft grass and warily staring at the werewolf. This continued for over ten minutes before Remus once more looked up to find the little elf looking back at him.

"Hi," Harry said timidly, fidgeting under Remus' calm gaze.

"Hey." Remus smiled as he hoped reassuringly at the other boy. "Finished swimming already?"

Harry nodded. "Why didn't you go swimming, Remus?"

"Water isn't much for me." Remus shrugged. "And I don't fancy showing everyone my scars."

Harry nodded in understanding. "Thank you, Remus, for being so considerate."

"It's really okay, Harry," the werewolf assured him. "I think you're a great person and you can't help how you feel towards me, besides, I'm used to people being prejudiced against werewolves."

"They shouldn't be," Harry returned vehemently. "I mean you're only dangerous during the full moon and I think you're a great person."

"Thank you, Harry." Remus smiled gently. "Do you think we can work something out so that you won't be so afraid anymore?"

"I really don't know." Harry wrapped his arms around his knees. "I'm relatively okay as long as Sirius or James are there as well and I think I'm getting used to you, but I need more time, Remus."

"Okay," the werewolf agreed readily. "Do you think you could help me improve my spellwork, though? I never thought someone could cast spells that fast. How did you do that?"

"My uncle is a Defence teacher." Harry chuckled. "He made sure that I'd get the best training possible during the last few years. He was always a bit paranoid."

"That explains it, I guess." Remus also laughed. "So will you help me?"

"I'll try," Harry answered, studying the werewolf carefully. "Maybe you should loosen up a little? I mean your arms were so tense it took you ages to make the movement."

Remus briefly considered this before nodding in agreement and drawing his wand.

But this was too much for Harry and he shied away with his wide eyes focussed on Remus' wand. His wings once more came out to envelope him protectively.

Remus, not knowing what else to do, retreated hastily and then jogged to the lake to alert James and Sirius, so that they could help Harry calm down.

"Sirius, James," he shouted, waving his arms in case their ears were full of water, though it seemed like both boys were set on ignoring him.

James was feverishly kissing Lily, something that he wasn't granted often even though she was his girl-friend and he had every right to kiss her whenever he wanted. That was the theory at least. A pity really that Lily seemed to be oblivious to those rules most of the time. Anyway, as he now was allowed to feverishly kiss his girl he wasn't about to abandon this chance just because Remus thought it necessary to do some physical training and hadn't yet noticed that he had no talent for singing.

Sirius was also kissing and groping the Ravenclaw he had invited and though he realised Remus' waving for what it was, he was intending to ignore him because if he followed Remus' call he would have to deal with a delicious looking and most likely still half-naked, tempting little elf, and that was something he wasn't willing to face. His plan had been ruined enough for one day.

Said elf was also the reason he had a raging hard-on and not for example the very much nude, curvy female body in his arms. He had dreamed so far about feet, calves, hands, underarms, armpits, shoulder-blades, a very delicious and exciting belly-button and a really tempting neck and they all looked like they could belong to Harry, or at least he imagined as much. No-one could deny that he seriously needed to get laid and he was on the way to accomplishing that.

There was also another theory, but that was just not possible. This utterly perfect little elf couldn't be his mate. It was just not possible and he would not take advantage of Harry. No, he was just his usual horny self, he had a crush and his veela side was overreacting because he still hadn't found his mate. Harry was too good to be his. Harry's mate would be just as perfect, not a jokester, outcast by his own family. The Lucky bastard, Sirius would beat him to a pulp should he ever encounter him, and then he would bring him to a healer because he wanted Harry to be happy; even if it wasn't with him. But there was only so much torture and temptation he could take without losing control. And Harry didn't deserve that. Not at all. He just needed to find some way to distract himself.

Thus, Remus could wait. The rational part of his brain thought this the right moment to point out that getting laid hadn't solved anything so far and that the dreams were still as frequent and disturbing in that arousing sort of way, making theory two slightly more realistic. The rational part of his brain was promptly hit over the head, though with little effect since the rational part of his mind had learned to wear a helmet.

Sirius turned back to the slender blonde in his arms before he could dress up the rational part of his mind in a pink tutu to get his attention.

Peter on the hand was unsuccessfully flirting with Lily's friend and since he wasn't the one called, he had no reason to come out of the water to embarrass himself.

So Remus was ignored and he had no choice but to trot carefully back to where he had left Harry. He wanted to look after him, even if it was from a distance. To his surprise, Harry seemed more or less calm, talking quietly to Hogwarts very own greasiest student, his head resting against the taller boy's shoulder. Even more surprising was, however, that Severus seemed to be partaking in the conversation with more than sarcastic comments and sneers and that he had put an arm around Harry's shoulders.

Severus' semi-friendly expression turned into a sneer as soon as he saw the werewolf approach and Remus sighed inaudibly.

"I'm sorry I panicked." Harry looked up at him, but made no move to detach himself from the Slytherin.

"It's fine," Remus waved his apology away. "I hadn't realised you two were so close friends."

"We are not friends." Severus sneered. "And the only reason why we are so close is that every time I move away, Parker moves with me."

Both Gryffindors rolled their eyes and Harry swatted his thigh lightly. "Don't be so mean, Voldemort might see you as a competition and try to kill you."

"Don't say his name," Severus had blanched, unconsciously taking a hold of his arm where the Dark Mark was branded into his skin.

"Sorry, I always forget how touchy people are around here." Harry didn't really seem too sorry, "It's not like he'll pop out of the bush and say 'booh' just because I said his name."

"I'm not touchy," the Slytherin snapped. "Only sensible. You wouldn't talk like this if he were here."

"No, I would most likely be hiding under a rock," Harry said. "That doesn't change the fact that he isn't here and that you are touchy about his name."

"Fine, then be considerate and don't say his name," Severus demanded. "I'm not ordering you around either, though I could and it is very tempting to just tell you to shut up."

Harry chuckled happily at this. "You are funny, do you know that?"

"Of course, that's my main goal in life," Severus drawled, making Harry laugh once more and Remus suddenly realised that he had never heard the Slytherin talk so much, let alone without insulting anyone.

"Will you come to the tryouts?" Harry asked suddenly, blinking up at the other boy.

"Your questions get more stupid and pointless with each one. You should know by now that I **live** to see Gryffindor with a passable Quidditch team."

"You can go with Remus," Harry continued as if Severus hadn't answered. "I want you to be there, please?"

"Don't flutter your eyes at me, Parker," the future Potion's Master retorted, but Remus could see that Harry was methodically working on getting an agreement out of the Slytherin. "Fine, I'll be there, but keep those half-wits away from me."

"Thank you." Harry laughed, hugging him and also kissing his cheek. "Want to go swimming with me?"

"I'm dreaming of it every night," was the snarky reply, but for some reason Severus did follow the little elf, quickly changing his robes into black swimming trunks before fixing his wand at his arm.

Trust Snape, to never go anywhere without his wand!

Remus still sat baffled under the tree, trying to sort out what had just happened. It couldn't be that Hogwarts' approved expert for antisocialism had just consoled Harry, joked around with him and promised to go to Gryffindor's tryouts after having a swim in the lake. No, definitely not, he was hallucinating. That would also explain why he thought that the Slytherin was rather good looking, if a bit pale. He was thin and tall, but he looked surprisingly strong as he dove into the water. The sinew muscles in his arms and stomach flexed as he waded towards Harry.

Maybe he shouldn't have stayed up so long last night, Remus decided, resolutely turning back to his book, for some reason it wasn't as fascinating at it had been moments ago.

"You dunked me." Harry pouted, shaking his wet hair so that little drops flew out of it.

"Very attentive," Severus answered, but gratefully took Harry's towel. "You splashed water at me."

"Because you were being boring," Harry argued, taking Sirius' towel to dry himself off.

"You said we should go swimming. I was swimming," Severus stated.

"No, you were dunking me," Harry exclaimed. "Twice! I only splashed you once."

"Life is unfair, get used to it," the taller boy ordered. "I'll see you later."

"Don't forget the tryouts," Harry reminded him and the Slytherin rolled his eyes.

"When?"

"At five." Harry smiled brilliantly at him. "So you have enough time to get changed and think of something to say that'll make me feel better."

"I'll think about something to make the others feel worse." Severus smirked and turned to walk back to the castle.

"Never thought I'd see him act almost civil," Remus muttered, making Harry swivel around in shock.

"I think he's great," he said softly. "I like him even if he is sarcastic and sneering all the time."

"Who do you like?" Sirius plopped down next to Harry with a stupid grin on his face.

"Severus." Harry tensed as Sirius growled in displeasure.

"You're still hanging out with that loser?"

"Sirius, you said you'd try to be nicer to him," Harry pleaded. "He's my friend."

"I never said that." The veela scowled. "And I never allowed you to become friends with him."

"I wasn't aware that I needed your permission," the smaller boy whispered with a hint of defiance in his voice. "I'm going to find Lucius."

"You won't go to those slimy Slytherins," Sirius hissed and grasped Harry's arms pulling him back down. "You'll stay right here."

"Sirius, don't you think you're going a bit too far?" Remus intervened gently because he didn't want to frighten Harry even more.

"Don't tell me what to do, Moony," Sirius spat. "Or are you suddenly also best buddies with Snivellus? He's not good for Harry."

"You haven't seen how he treated Harry," the amber-eyed boy argued. "I think he really likes him."

"Snivellus likes no-one but himself. He's an egoistic bastard; he's only using Harry to get revenge on us."

"He is not." Harry whimpered. "And even if he were, at least he treats me like I'm still worth something."

"What are you saying, Harry? That he's better than I?" Sirius' hold tightened painfully around Harry's arm, leaving bruises, and Remus decided that enough was enough.

With supernatural speed and strength he pulled Harry from Sirius' grasp, scooping him up in his arms despite the weak struggle and the large wings that nearly dislodged his hold on the little elf. He then raced towards the lake where James and Lily were just coming out of the water and dropped the little submissive in his friend's arms.

"Sirius was hurting him," he said hastily by way of explanation and then brought some distance between them, stopping Sirius as he made to approach. "We'll have a nice long chat, Sirius, before you can even **think** about apologising to Harry."

The Animagus still looked furious and not really as if he saw any flaw in his actions, but reluctantly let the stronger boy drag him to the castle.

"Harry? Talk to me." James carried the smaller elf to their little camp and tried to pry his head from his arms. "Tell me what happened."

Harry continued sobbing and crying, now also shaking because he was disobeying a dom, but couldn't bring himself to answer. What was so wrong about wanting to be friends with Severus? Why couldn't he be friends with the Slytherins? They were nice, to him at least, and Harry hadn't seen them pick a fight with anyone so far, a stark contrast to what the Marauders were usually doing. Would James also get angry if he told him about Severus?

"Lily, can you go and fetch Malfoy?" James whispered over his shoulder and the Head Girl nodded and left them alone. "Harry, tell me what Sirius did. I promise I won't be angry."

"My fault," Harry finally mumbled, his wings disappearing and leaving him vulnerable and defenceless.

"Let me be the judge of that, okay, Harry?" James carefully cradled the smaller boy to his chest, willing his own wings to wrap around them both.

They weren't quite as big as Harry's, but were of the same inky blackness and soft feathers and like Harry's, they were mostly to protect and shield rather than for flying (he had tried it once, but had glided and flown for only a few minutes and his muscles had been sore and aching for the next five days).

"I was talking with Remus and then he drew his wand and I panicked," Harry whispered finally, causing James to feel guilty for having ignored Remus earlier. "Severus helped me calm down." Harry looked pleadingly up at the other elf and though James was far from happy about this development, he nodded to make Harry continue. "We talked and we went swimming and then he went back into the castle. Sirius heard Remus and me talking about Severus and when I told him that I liked Severus, Sirius said I couldn't be friends with him..."

"Shh, it was not your fault." James said and breathed a sigh of relieve when he saw Lily returning with Lucius, who immediately sat down next to him and started to pet Harry's hair.

Harry's sobs only grew louder and he tried to twist away from the gentle touch. "He said I couldn't go to Lucius. That they were just using me to get revenge on you."

"Harry." The older Potter shifted Harry a little. "Forget everything he told you and listen to me, okay? You can go visit Malfoy whenever you like. I don't like Snape, he doesn't like us, but if you can stand his presence then you're allowed to be friends with him."

"Harry." Lucius carefully began petting his hair again. "It's not your fault that they hate each other so much. It's childish and between the two of them. Black shouldn't have dragged you into it. You can be friends with whomever you like and none of us has the right to forbid it."

"He's not using me," Harry whispered stubbornly, looking up at Lucius for affirmation. "Severus, he's not using me."

"No, he's not, little one," the blond answered gently. "But I think it would be easier to convince the Dark Lord to open a kindergarten for charity purposes than to convince Black that the house of Slytherin isn't as depraved as he makes it out to be. Severus likes you; otherwise you would be lying in the infirmary by now because one of your potions had miraculously exploded."

Harry grinned weakly, wiping away the tears. "He said he would try to be civil to him, he wouldn't believe me."

"Sirius is a bit irrational and short-tempered, Harry," James soothed him. "But he will calm down and apologise to you. I promise."

"I want to be alone for a while," Harry murmured, pushing a little against James' chest. "Please?"

"Of course." James retracted his wings and helped Harry stand up. "Don't forget the tryouts, though"

Harry waved over his shoulder before he quickly disappeared in the Forbidden Forest to find the hidden clearing Lucius had shown him.

It wasn't so much Sirius' rigorous rejection of Severus that hurt him so much, but rather the blatant disregard of his own feelings. He wasn't about to force Sirius to be friends with Severus, but it would have been nice to know that Sirius at least cared about him. Instead he had ordered him around, not even attempting to give reasons for it. He had voiced nothing but unfounded accusations.

It was okay that Sirius didn't like Severus, but it was not okay that he wanted Harry to believe that Severus didn't like him as well. He had felt unwanted and unloved all his life and Sirius' accusations brought this all back. _He could never like you, freak, you are ugly and abnormal and stupid and weak!_ And he didn't understand it. Sirius had spent the last two weeks maybe not exactly avoiding him, but still with a lot of other friends and nightly conquests and now Harry wasn't allowed to have his own friends? And then he had not only forbidden him to be friends with Severus, but also from contact with Lucius. Lucius was a dom and he made him feel safe, something that Sirius constantly failed to do.

Harry was being unfair and bitter, he realised it himself, because Sirius did make him feel good whenever he was there and not angry, like he had done in Defence against the Dark Arts or when he merely smiled at Harry. From a purely objective point of view, Harry had no reason to prefer Sirius to the other dominants, especially Lucius, but still he valued the smallest touch from Sirius much more highly than a drawn out hug with Lucius. It was stupid and Sirius did nothing to really deserve it, he was moody and irascible and possessive and neglectful. But his smiles made Harry feel warm and protected. Sirius was an idiot but Harry liked his laugh and the contagious happiness in his eyes. But he wanted to be angry at him, at least for now.

* * *

_After it was pointed out to me that my last appeal for reviews left much to be desired, I'll go for a simple "Please, review!" this time..._


	9. The Winner Takes It All

_Disclaimer: See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: This chapter is for all those who nagged, begged, asked, pleaded, advised and outright told me to write a Snape/Harry-fic. I'll very probably never do so because I simply don't like that pairing, but I hope this chapter will compensate and console you for that fact. Enjoy!_

_Beta: Blaithin-mae, thank you and good luck for your exams. I'd suggest to wait with your nervous breakdown until after because then you will be able to enjoy it much better ;-)..._

* * *

**9. THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL**

Harry was late for the tryouts and his eyes were still swollen from crying when he saw Sirius coming towards him. He quickly climbed the tribune to where Severus was sitting and buried his head in the Slytherin's heavy black robes.

"Problems?" Severus asked in an indifferent tone and Harry nodded tearfully, though he damned himself for how emotional he was being once again.

"Sirius was mean." Harry sniffed; he was cheered slightly at the thought of how Lucius would have reacted to that declaration, even James might have become a bit protective.

"He's an idiot," Severus spat, cupping Harry's face. "Ignore him. And if it was because of me, trust your own instincts. I'm not a nice person and I'm not a good friend, but if you still want me I'm your friend."

"Of course I want you to be my friend." Harry smiled. "And I like you the way you are."

"Then go out there and show them that you should be Gryffindor's new Seeker," Severus urged him. "Not that you have much competition. See that little figure over there with too much arm and too much leg? Crabbe possesses more grace than he does. And that one, who's just puking up her guts? I've heard of this Muggle sport called bowling; I think she would do very well in that because she constantly flew into the other players, bowling them over. And the one with the spectacles had the snitch fly up his sleeve; he could be real competition with that bit of luck."

"Thank you, Severus." Harry stood up, kissing his cheek. "Wish me luck."

"Harry, are you coming?" James shouted. "Everyone else has already tried out."

Harry quickly descended the stairs until he stood in front of his father; who held out his broom for him. Sirius stood to the side and watched every move he made, setting Harry even more on edge.

"The rules are really easy, Harry," James explained. "I'll let out the snitch, you catch it and I stop the time. After that the team will decide if you get into the next round. The second round consists of the two of us racing once around the stadium. If you win or at least do reasonably well, you are on the short list. I'll hang out the results tomorrow at the latest, okay?"

"Okay." Harry nodded, taking his broom.

"On the count of three." James let out the snitch. "One. Two. Three. Go."

Harry had kept his eyes on the snitch the whole time and had it back in his hand after only two minutes.

"That was great, Harry," James exclaimed, a bit shocked. "I think we all agree that you are in the next round." He looked expectantly at his team and they all nodded. "Patrick, you give the starting signal."

The blond chaser nodded and waited till James had also mounted his broom and was hovering beside Harry with a lopsided grin on his face. Harry carefully adjusted his grip on his broom.

Or rather not his broom. It was not his trusty Nimbus 2000, which had surprised him greatly as he had opened his trunk and looked for it. Instead of his old broom he had found this one, a Comet two-fifty with a short note from Lucius explaining that he couldn't use his Nimbus in the past without attracting suspicions.

A sharp whistle made them both lean over their brooms and speed up. Sooner than Harry would have thought they were flying the bend, James on the outside course falling a bit behind. Harry didn't slow down - this was nothing in comparison to his Nimbus - and James didn't manage to gain more than a few centimetres on Harry before Harry finished the race first.

"Damn," James cursed softly and Harry looked at him fearfully, carefully approaching him and leaning against his chest.

"I'm sorry."

James' arms closed around him and he chuckled lightly. "Never lost before. You're damn good, Harry. Never apologise for that."

"Are you sad?" Harry looked at him. "I didn't mean to make you sad. I don't want you to be sad."

"Nope, not sad," James assured him, smiling. "I'm impressed. Don't worry. Shall I tell you a secret?" He leant down, to whisper into Harry's ear, "Congratulations! You're our new Seeker. I'm sure they all agree with me."

"Really?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Yes, really, Harry." James swirled him around before setting him back on his feet. "Want to celebrate a little?"

"No." Harry shook his head softly. "I'll ask the Slytherins if I can stay with them tonight, James. I don't want to see Sirius."

"Harry..."

"I know, I can't avoid him forever, but I don't want him to make me forgive him. I want to be angry at him for as long as I can," Harry pleaded, unaware that Sirius was listening in on their conversation. "He really hurt me, James. And, I know that he doesn't see that he did something wrong. Let me go?"

"Of course, Harry," James murmured. "But you don't have to flee to Slytherin. We'll throw Sirius out of the dorms; Merlin knows he deserves it for how he treated you today."

"Thanks for the offer, but I'll be fine in Slytherin," Harry replied with a small smile.

"If you're sure, but come to me if you need me, alright?" James said again and Harry felt like all his worries had suddenly grown wings at the warmth and worry in his father's voice; it felt indescribably good to have James as his friend, if not exactly as his father.

"I will, thanks, James. Bye."

"Ready, Harry?" Severus asked from a distance and Harry moved to join him. "You weren't too bad."

"Thank you." Harry grinned. "Do you think I can stay in Slytherin tonight?"

"I think so, as long as Lucius agrees. But, don't think I will offer you my bed out of sheer, idiotic chivalry." Severus murmured. "Are you so angry at Black?"

"I wish I was angry." Harry sighed. "But I'm only hurt. I haven't been really angry since I came into my inheritance, which again would make me angry if that was an option, but as it isn't, it only leaves me feeling frustrated."

"Black has that effect on most people who aren't characterised by the complete absence of brain cells," Severus stated.

"Don't say something like that." Harry glared at the older boy before he averted his eyes with a sigh. "Don't. If you do, I'll feel the need to defend him and that's the last thing I want to do right now."

Severus kept silent for a moment before he smirked. "We should go to the library to look for more books for our potions project."

"Severus, is that supposed to cheer me up?" Harry whined. "We have been trying to find a potion for the last two weeks. Can't you just choose one?"

"I could, but I want more than a passing grade," Severus offered, taking the stairs up to the library.

Harry shook his head. "You could probably throw random ingredients in a cauldron and it would still be perfect."

Severus chuckled. "How very flattering, but as I have to let you take part as well, I'd have to make you understand as well... and that could turn out to be rather complicated."

"You're mean." Harry pouted. "Not everyone can be as good with potions as you."

"Too true." Severus gave a long suffering sigh, putting three books in front of Harry. "Read those."

"Yes, Master," Harry mocked him and Severus scowled before sitting down opposite of him with his own four books.

*_*_*

"What about this potion?" Harry asked, already foreboding Severus' answer, and pushed his book towards the older student.

And, as Harry had expected, Severus only briefly glanced at the recipe before turning down Harry's idea. "It's too easy, we could merely mix the two potions together and it would still work."

"Severus..."

"Stop whining," the future Potion's Master growled. "We'll find the right potion."

"Oh, so you still have hope, do you?" Harry scowled. "Because mine flew out of the window after the first ten books."

"I'm the sarcastic one, Harry." Severus smirked. "You are the sweet little, naive boy. We don't want to mix that, so stick to your role."

Harry stuck out his tongue and turned back to his book, though he didn't have the chance to read more than the first three ingredients of the next potion before someone cleared his throat behind him. He didn't need to turn around to know who was standing behind him, even if he hadn't seen Severus tightening the hold on his wand.

"Can I talk to you for a moment, Harry?" Sirius asked gently, shifting a little. "Alone, if it's possible."

"Sure," Harry said without emotion. "I'll be right back, Severus."

He stood up, not meeting Sirius' eyes as he walked over to one of the windows that separated them from where Severus was sitting by a large bookcase. He sat down on the window sill.

"Harry, listen." Sirius tried to capture his gaze, visibly restraining himself from reaching out.

"I hardly have a choice, have I?" Harry returned coldly.

"Harry, I didn't mean--"

"Oh, yes, you did," Harry finally turned towards him in order to glare at him. "You were so unfair, not only to Severus, but to me. You come here and expect me to forgive you, and my whole being is straining to do just that, but I don't want to, because you hurt me and you treated me like shit. You told me what to do as if my opinion didn't matter, as if I didn't even have an opinion."

"Harry--"

"Could you for once let me talk?" Harry asked bitterly. "You promised me that you'd be there for me, that you wouldn't hurt me and that you'd be civil to Severus. Do you even know what a promise is? Because where I come from it means that you should keep it. I don't mind that you fuck with someone else every night, I can bear a little pain and though I really don't like how you treat Severus, I can understand that such a long animosity can't be put aside just because I want it. **B****ut** if you hadn't wanted this responsibility you shouldn't have said so. I can't stand liars, but even worse is that you indirectly called me a liar. I wish I could hate you or at least be angry at you, but I can't and I wish I didn't need you, because you're a self-centred jerk, but I do."

"Can I say something now, Harry?" Sirius questioned softly and Harry nodded unwillingly. "Everything you said is true and I'm sorry for it. I heard what you told James earlier and I listened to his and Remus' rant about doing this to you. And to Lily's rant, which was even more detailed and furious than Remus' and Jamie's put together and I finally got it. I never should have taken it out on you that I don't like Snape too much. I don't expect you to forgive me and if you want to you can be angry at me or avoid me, but before I leave you alone to do just that, I want you to understand why I flipped out like that. It's true Snape and I don't get along, but I would never have lost my temper like that if that was the only reason. It's also true that I fucked around and didn't have much time for you.

"Do you remember that day in Care of Magical Creatures when I said you were cute and patted your hair? How I told you, I didn't understand it myself?" Harry nodded softly and Sirius continued, "I understand it now. I had dreams about you and they... aroused me. That's my explanation for those sex-escapades, crappy as it is, I tried to distract myself because it felt like I was taking advantage of you," Sirius decided that it would be too much information to tell Harry that he had fantasised about his feet, especially since Harry was already sporting a nice blush. "I was jealous when you said you liked Snape, I was jealous almost all the time even if you were only talking with James or Lily or Peter or Remus. It drove me crazy when you were out of my sight. Harry, I didn't realise it before, but you are my mate."

Harry's gaze darkened again and the blush left his cheeks. "Your mate, huh? And I'm just supposed to believe that, am I? Maybe I should just bend over so that we can get it over with? And of course, I'm expected to forgive you and play your little pet from now on. Well, guess what? I. Don't. Want. To. I don't giving a flying shit if you are my mate because as good as you make me feel, you make me just as miserable. I'm my own person, I don't need a mate to define me. I don't need you."

"Harry--"

"Shut up," Harry whispered ferociously. "That was a crappy excuse, those were crappy reasons and unless you can prove to me that you are at least trying to grow up, I don't want you in my life."

"Harry, you have to believe me," Sirius pleaded, crestfallen.

"Oh, I do," Harry said bitterly, though his elf side was cringing. "Just my luck to have an immature bully as my mate. As I see it, we will both feel a lot better if we just ignore the situation. This way you won't have to take responsibility and I don't have to feel, even more, at your mercy."

"But I want to take responsibility, I want you as my mate," Sirius protested, taking Harry's shaking hand in his. "Please, Harry."

Harry bit his lip to stop the pleas for forgiveness from bursting from his mouth and withdrew his hand.

"Let him go," Severus' quiet voice barely registered in Harry's clouded mind; it hurt. "Harry told you what he wants. Anything more wouldn't be Harry's views, they would be the words of a frightened submissive elf. Let him go."

The grey-eyed boy looked horribly lost and Harry closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to see him. He wanted to be alone. He wanted Sirius' arms around him. He wanted out.

Slender, long-fingered hands landed on his shoulders, trying to steer him away. He resisted, but he didn't know why. Something in him was stretched incredibly tight, ready to snap at any moment, waiting for something.

Another hand, rougher, broader, took hold of his and dry lips were pressed to his knuckles. "Give me one day. One day, Harry."

"That's enough, Black," Severus snapped, gently massaging Harry's shoulders. "Leave us be."

"Okay," Harry whispered, locking eyes with Sirius. "I'll give you one day."

Relief flooded Sirius' handsome face and he pressed another kiss to Harry's knuckles. "Thank you. Don't miss dinner tomorrow, okay?"

Harry nodded in resignation, twisting his shaking hands. _Bad elf, bad elf. Apologise._ _He's your mate, don't push him away. Who will want you if not he? _He brutally squished those thoughts. He wasn't dependent on a mate. He would be just fine without one. He was getting used to feeling miserable.

"Do you need a mate?" Severus asked him, echoing his thoughts, while still massaging Harry's shoulders. "Do you need Black?"

Harry slumped a little. "All the books say that I will feel so much better once I'm bonded, but I don't want to bond just because my stupid elf side would like that. I mean, I can still make my own decisions. And I'm not wholly unlikable, right? So I might actually find a nice someone who loves me for me and not because his veela or whatever genes tell them that they have to." Harry looked for support up at his future Potion's Master. "Someone told me that I could be happy with a nice dominant who loves me. Of course, he meant in the case of me never finding or being found by my mate, but..."

"I think you're very likable." Suddenly, Severus' hands were cupping Harry's face, potion-stained thumbs rubbing over his cheeks. "And very beautiful."

Harry stared at him in surprise and shock, but before he could come up with something to say to Severus' declaration, the older boy had dropped his hands.

"Let's go back to the common room, yes." The black-eyed boy swivelled around and was already gathering his quills and parchments into his book bag before Harry had fully processed what had just happened between them; if there had been anything.

"Severus?" Harry asked timidly.

"Come on, Harry. I want to finish my Charms homework today." Severus was already halfway to the door. "Please."

"Fine." Harry heaved a deep breath. He had enough thinking to do, without letting Severus' words confuse him even further.

*_*_*

"And?" Sirius' eyes were wide with hope.

"How did you write so many letters?" Harry asked, more to buy himself some time than out of real curiosity.

"James, Remus and Lily helped," Sirius answered. "Remus also helped me to think of this. He said that I would need more than words to convince you."

"He was right," Harry murmured, looking down at his shoes.

"Like most of the time," Sirius agreed softly. "But was it enough, Harry?"

"What about me?" Harry demanded, finally looking up. "So maybe you just demonstrated that you aren't quite as immature as I thought, but what about me?"

"You?" Sirius smiled dreamily, taking a step towards Harry. "You're beautiful, no, you're more than that, you're the epitome of perfection. You're hot chocolate with whipped cream on a cold winter's day, you're the first bird singing in spring, you're the cooling breeze in summer, the shelter from an autumn storm, and I know you think I'm laying on to thick so I'll stop, but you're all that and much more.

"I love your smile because you have the cutest little dimples. I love the sound of your laugh, the light in your eyes as if you knew a secret no one else knows, the way your hair curls around your ears; your skin." He gently traced Harry's cheek. "So soft and smooth like porcelain but warmer, alive. I love your body, fragile but so strong, lithe. The way you played Quidditch yesterday made me want to drop out of the team so that I might be able to only watch you. But Jamie would kill me so I might have to reconsider.

"And I love the fact that every Friday after classes you sit down with every intention to do your homework immediately, but jump at the first chance to postpone it until Sunday evening. I love your sense of humour, though in all honesty, I wished you would laugh at more of my pranks. When you read, your nose crinkles and you gnaw your bottom lip and I love that. I also love that you get up to brush your teeth when you wake in the middle of the night."

Harry blushed brightly. "You heard me?"

"Yes." Sirius grinned. "I love the sound of your feet when you pad to the bathroom."

"I don't like the furry feeling in my mouth. I can't fall asleep again until I have brushed my teeth," Harry mumbled, surprised when Sirius' hand tilted his chin up.

"I think it's endearing."

"Oh," Harry whispered. "Thank you, I guess."

"I actually wasn't finished," Sirius said with more confidence. "Because most of all I love that you're kind to everyone but allow no one to push you around. I admire you for the fact that you talked with Remus, even though you must be scared, and that you stood up to me yesterday."

"Don't you want a **submissive**, meek little house-wife?" Harry asked bitterly. "A submissive that knows how to behave?"

"No, I want you. You're glorious when you lose your temper and you had every right to do so yesterday because I acted like a complete idiot and I had no right to treat you like that and my only reason is jealousy because, for the rest of my life, I want to be the only one touching you."

Harry didn't know what to do, what to say, what to feel.

"I cannot promise you that I'll change completely, that I'll never hurt you again, but, I can promise you that for every time I hurt you I will hate myself enough for both of us, for Snape and my so-called family; because you're my mate and I want to make you happy and cherish and protect you like you deserve. And you deserve someone much better than me, I know, but I just think that if I can be perfect for anyone it will be you. You're perfect for everyone, I know that, and I'll try to understand if you want to find another dominant."

"Sirius." Harry put a pale hand on the taller boy's arm. "I meant it when I said that you are my dominant. Not James and not Lucius and... well, no one else."

Sirius looked hopefully at him, carefully cupping Harry's face and caressing his cheeks with calloused fingers. "Does that mean that you aren't quite as averse to me being your mate anymore? Will you give me another chance?"

Harry bit his lip lightly. "I want to be friends with Severus."

"Okay," Sirius agreed softly. "Something else?"

"Never... Never treat me like that again," Harry whispered.

"I already spoke with Remus and James about it." Sirius tenderly pulled Harry to his chest. "I won't, they will make sure of that."

"Okay, then I'll give you another chance," Harry whispered and Sirius very, very chastely breathed a kiss on Harry's lips, making the elf shiver.

"Thank you." Sirius chuckled lightly as he noted Harry's dazed expression. "May I then ask you for a date? Next Saturday?"

Harry nodded shyly, feeling a huge weight lift from his chest. Nonetheless, he couldn't completely hide his disappointment.

"What is it? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, it's just..." Harry shifted uncomfortably. "I mean we're mates, right? And you make me feel good, most of the time, and ... It's almost an entire week until then, I thought, you know, if you don't mind and all, that we would do something before that? But I can wait and..."

"But I don't think I could wait." Sirius smiled almost apologetically at the younger man. "If you allow it, I'll be spending every second with you, Harry. But this Saturday I want to show you Hogsmeade. I don't believe you saw much of it last time."

"Narcissa was more focussed on showing me the shops from the inside," Harry agreed softly.

Sirius laughed. "I figured as much, though her efforts certainly paid off. I love that green shirt you bought. You look very drool-worthy in it."

"Uhm, thanks," Harry blushed. "So you only wanted to make sure that I would go with you to Hogsmeade and not with someone else?"

Sirius nodded in agreement and Harry smiled in relief.

"Oh, good."

"So do you want to come and celebrate Gryffindor's new Seeker now? I heard he's pretty good," Sirius asked hopefully.

"Severus is waiting for me." Harry ducked his head, fearing another temper tantrum.

"Okay," the older boy said instead, kissing Harry on the lips once more. "I hope you won't be too long and that you'll come to Gryffindor tonight because I missed you last night."

"Thank you," Harry hugged him fiercely and then stole another chaste kiss.

He was quickly becoming addicted to Sirius' kisses, the touching of their lips sending tingles through his whole body down to the tips of his toes. It was as if fireworks were exploding in his belly, sparks teasing all the nerve endings in his body. But it wasn't only excitement that made him like them so much, but also the warmth and protection he felt.

"Harry? Would you mind if I kissed you? Really kissed you?" Sirius interrupted his thoughts and Harry was still wondering how kisses could be more real than that, when he already found himself nodding.

One of Sirius hands slipped to his neck while the other snaked around his waist, both pulling him close to the veela's strong body. Harry realised dreamily that it shouldn't feel this good to be held snugly against another boy's body as if he was a girl ready to faint, but all in all he didn't care. Sirius first nipped the right corner of Harry's mouth, then the left, then pulled the elf's bottom lip into his mouth, worrying it carefully between his teeth.

Harry's eyes wanted to flutter close, but at the same time he wanted to keep them open because there was a light in Sirius' eyes that was much too fascinating to miss it. It looked as if a storm was raging in his eyes, passion and love and so many other emotions battling in the grey depths. Swirls of smoke and shadows. But when Sirius finally sealed Harry's lips with his, the green eyes dropped closed so Harry would be able to fully enjoy the kiss.

Sirius' real kisses were different then his short-tempered, happy-go-lucky nature. They were gentle and slow and sensual and deep and thorough and possessive and engaging. Harry could have melted right then and there, spending the rest of his life as a happy puddle of goo. A very embarrassing mewl escaped his throat when Sirius started to tenderly massage the middle of his back and his neck. He could hear the older boy's heartbeat, so close. His own heart was thumping irregularly, every few breaths missing a beat because Sirius' tongue did something that felt indescribably good in his mouth, darting into every corner of Harry's mouth, tipping the elf's tongue in invitation.

The veela drew back much too soon for Harry's liking and his lips followed Sirius', wanting, **needing** more. Sirius complied with a satisfied, loving smile and another mewl escaped Harry.

"Wow," Harry breathed, touching a finger to his lips in incredulous wonder.

"Same here," Sirius agreed, brushing a strand of hair out of Harry's face. "I might just have to do that again because I don't think I'll ever have enough of your taste."

"Please," Harry whispered.

"I will," Sirius promised, holding Harry as if afraid to break him. "But though I'm exhilaratingly happy that you seem to like my kisses so much, I don't intend to win you over with only them."

"But I think you could," Harry replied, still a bit dazed and Sirius laughed.

"And you, my little elf, don't need to win me over at all because, everything I am and have belongs to you."

"Compliments might also convince me," Harry said, finally regaining his senses. "It's pathetic, isn't it? How susceptible I am to your charm."

"No, it's not," Sirius stated earnestly. "Because I'm just as affected, if not more so, by yours. I was made for you, Harry."

"Thanks," Harry murmured. "I think I should go then."

"Where are you meeting Snape? In the library?" Harry nodded. "Would you mind if I walked you up there?" Harry hesitated briefly. "I'll just bring you to the library, I promise. I won't even come in if you don't want me to."

"Okay then," Harry agreed, feeling a pleasant tingle race up his arm when Sirius took his hand and gentlemanly led him up to the library, taking more than a few supposed short-cuts that turned out to be detours. Harry didn't really mind, especially because Sirius always apologised with at least one kiss. One real kiss that made the thought of having a mate, and having Sirius as his mate, suddenly seem a lot less despicable, maybe even pleasant.

*_*_*

Harry plopped down in the seat opposite of Severus a good five minutes after their agreed meeting time.

"Are you going to stop grinning anytime soon or should I get used to the foolish sight?" Severus sneered with his usual bite.

"Sirius and I made up," Harry exclaimed, not able to contain himself any longer. "He asked me for a date next weekend."

"And what did you say?" Severus didn't seem at all interested.

"I said yes." Harry laughed.

Severus kept absolutely still for a moment before he stood up abruptly. "I found a potion, we are finished here."

"Severus, what...?" The green-eyed boy caught up with the Slytherin before he could disappear completely. "What is wrong?"

"Nothing," Severus spat, trying to free his arm from Harry's grasp. "Let me go."

"If you are going to lie to me you could at least make it believable," Harry reprimanded him. "Tell me what is wrong, please?"

Severus sighed deeply and after making sure that no-one was listening in he snapped, "I had the foolish notion that you were interested in me, so after I have sufficiently embarrassed myself, I would appreciate it if you would let me go so that I can wallow in self-pity."

"Severus." Harry tried to stop him.

"No, Harry, I really don't want to talk about it, I thought you liked me like that, I was wrong and now Black has you. We are back to normal again."

"Severus." Harry carefully stopped him again. "I like you. I really, really like you and my human side may even have fallen in love with you, but my elf side could never feel completely safe with you and I don't think I could live that life. I'm sorry if I made you think that we had a chance. I like you, Severus, and I don't want to lose you as a friend, but I can't give you more."

"I'm not expecting more, Harry." Severus sighed. "Just let me..."

Severus' lips were surprisingly soft, unsure but quickly gaining confidence when Harry didn't push him away. Harry fisted his hands in the collar of Severus' robes, pulling and clutching and not believing that he was kissing his Potion's professor, not believing that no oversized foot emerged above him to stamp him into the ground for defying Mother Nature's divine plan to create a happily ever after with Sirius and Harry in the leading roles.

Severus' kiss was good, but nothing in comparison to Sirius'. Harry's eyes didn't feel the need to flutter close, he didn't feel like only the arms around him were keeping him on his feet, he didn't forget where he was, he didn't feel warm or protected or special. He felt sadness, for his friend, for himself because under other circumstances he may have chosen Severus over Sirius. But there was no choice. There was his mate and a neutral. It was a simple matter of fact. He felt guilty for allowing the kiss, cheating on his mate, and at the same time he had a sense of triumph because it showed him that he could defy Sirius, defy his nature. And when the kiss ended he felt relieved and not like he wanted more.

"I apologise. I'm not expecting more, Harry," Severus repeated. "I understand that you can't give me more, but I do have a **crush** on you and I need a bit of time to sort out my thoughts and feelings. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"It's fine." Harry hugged him tightly for a moment. "I really think you're great, though, and I'm sure you'll find someone. Someone who'll love you as you deserve."

"Of course," Severus answered sarcastically. "But I won't find someone like you."

"I'm sure in time you'll be grateful for that." Harry chuckled. "I don't envy Sirius for having to put up with me."

"Well, I do," the Slytherin insisted. "But then again, I have this." He triumphantly held up a scroll of parchment. "It might help me over this lovesickness."

"How many pranks can you choose?" Harry asked.

"Black apologised for forty-seven pranks," Severus replied with a smirk. "And I have it black on white that I can choose a prank for every ten pranks he pulled, either of my own creation or from the list." There was a rather evil gleam in his black eyes now. "And I have some potions I always wanted to try out. I only have to choose which four I want him to drink."

"I see you're already feeling better." Harry shook his head lightly. "Please, just don't do anything too gross to him because I still might feel the need to touch him."

"I will consider it," Severus stated. "But I'm Slytherin so don't think I'll squander this opportunity for revenge. Black wanted to impress you, he obviously did that, but it will also mean that he gets a bit of his own medicine. Maybe he'll then realise that some of his pranks weren't even remotely funny."

Harry sighed, but nodded. "Sirius will get pranked a lot in the coming weeks, won't he?"

"Indeed." Severus smirked. "I think he sent everyone the same offer with his apology. All the students at least. I'm not sure what he said to the professors."

"He volunteered for detention," Harry offered. "But Dumbledore intervened on his behalf and said that so much courage and integrity shouldn't be punished."

"Typical." Severus snorted. "Well, there are still the students. I have to work on my potions now."

"Okay." Harry hugged him again. "You haven't found a potion for our project though, have you?"

"No, I haven't." Severus laughed mirthlessly. "We will have to do a bit more research."

Harry groaned.

* * *

_I can't think of anything you could do right now... Maybe you have an idea? _


	10. The Joys of Having a Mate

_Disclaimer: See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: Does the title sound slightly sarcastic? It does to me, but maybe I'm only imagining things... *grins* I think I first wrote it when I was considering how to best break-up with my boyfriend at that time...  
Anyway, this chapter is of yet unbetaed because Adah Eyes had to resign due to her life becoming a bit hectic and me being to stressful. I still wish you all the luck, dear, and maybe our paths will cross again...  
I hope there aren't too many mistakes, but if there are feel free to point them out._

_Looking For: A new second beta who would be willing to correct every second chapter (Blaithin-mae, will correct the others) and that, if possible, within at the most two weeks so that I might update every week. If you're interested please contact me._

_15/02/09: This chapter is now betaed, thanks to Blaithin-mae._

_

* * *

  
_

**10. THE JOYS OF HAVING A MATE**

"Harry!" Sirius seemed mildly surprised but nonetheless happy when the green-eyed elf entered the common room only twenty minutes after their conversation. "Come here!"

Harry wove through the throng of Gryffindors celebrating their new Seeker and since no-one took much notice of him. he concluded that most of them were just glad about any excuse of partying and didn't really care what they were partying about. Sirius promptly pulled him into his lap, tilting Harry's head for a passionate kiss.

"I missed you," he murmured, blowing his warm breath on Harry's neck.

Harry blushed brightly, twisting around to nuzzle the crook of Sirius' neck. "Sirius?"

"Yes, beautiful?" the grey-eyed young man asked breathily. "Can I do anything for you?"

"I'd like a butterbeer," Harry murmured and Sirius jumped at the chance to contribute to Harry's happiness, summoning a butterbeer. "And a chocolate frog."

Sirius happily summoned a basket full of chocolate frogs out of the hands of a rather stocky fifth year student, who wasn't all that thrilled about Sirius' actions and shouted a protest over at them. The veela ignored him completely, too focused on Harry taking a sip of his butterbeer and then wrinkling his nose.

"Something wrong, dashing?"

"I like it better warm," Harry mumbled.

"Then you shall have it warm," Sirius declared, tapping the bottle with his wand to heat it, careful not to burn Harry's fingers with his charm.

"Thank you, Sirius," Harry replied with a shy smile.

"It's no problem at all. Would you like me to give you a back rub, you must have had a stressful day," Sirius offered considerately.

"You don't have to..." Harry protested weakly as he hadn't expected to have so much success with his little manipulations; he tried to turn off his charm, as Narcissa called it, smoothing the pout from his lips and straightening his shoulders out of their protection-seeking slump.

"I know, Harry," Sirius whispered in his ear. "But I want to and I don't mind your manipulations."

"You knew?" Harry asked, shock, surprise and embarrassment mixing in his voice.

"From the very moment you batted your eyes at me," Sirius replied with a smirk. "And you're adorable with that pout on your lips."

"But then why did you... why didn't you..." Harry inquired timidly. "Are you angry?"

"I'm not angry, Harry," Sirius answered gently, his hands massaging Harry's tense muscles. "I've been waiting for that quite a long time, actually; I was wondering when you would shower me with your charm instead of Malfoy."

"You were jealous?" Harry asked in surprise and Sirius chuckled.

"More than you can imagine, gorgeous. And if you want to manipulate me to get something from me that I'd gladly give you without such incentive, I won't complain."

"Oh, thank you, I guess," Harry said timidly and then snuggled into Sirius. "So you say I can just ask?"

"Of course, though if you like manipulating me more you can do that, too," Sirius replied, kissing Harry's cheek.

"I do, kind of," Harry admitted sheepishly.

Sirius laughed, "I thought so. And I enjoy it as well, especially if it makes you happy."

"Thank you," Harry murmured, drinking a bit of his butterbeer, and just enjoyed Sirius' embrace and his undivided attention.

He whimpered in protest when Sirius turned away to share a joke with James and Peter, and Sirius was once again focused on him, leaving James and Peter to entertain themselves.

James grinned. "Taking a bit of revenge, Harry?"

"Sirius said it was okay," Harry argued uncertainly.

"Of course he did. He's in love with you." James chuckled.

"He doesn't love me. I'm only his mate," Harry protested with a bitter taste in his mouth.

"Oh, Harry, don't say something like that," Lily spoke up, slipping her arm through James'. "Being his mate and having Sirius' love is more or less the same and if you had heard him talk yesterday you wouldn't have a doubt in your mind."

Harry was carding his fingers through Sirius' hair. The veela had his eyes closed and it seemed as if he hadn't heard a word of their conversation, which Harry was grateful for. He didn't answer Lily. He couldn't believe his mother's words, though a part of him desperately wanted to.

Lily patted his hand with a reassuring smile. "You will need time to realise that, of course, and be as happy for yourself as I already am for you."

"Maybe." Harry shrugged and then gently nudged Sirius out of his trance. "Sirius? Where's Remus? I want to say thank you for earlier..." Harry trailed off.

"Shall we go find him?" Sirius suggested, shaking off the pleasant drowsiness. "I think he managed to flee to the dormitories half an hour or so ago."

"Okay." Harry nodded timidly, squeaking as Sirius simply scooped him up and started to carry him towards the staircase. "I can walk on my own!"

"I know." Sirius laughed. "But this way I can keep you close."

Harry grumbled in displeasure, but didn't protest anymore, even snuggling into Sirius' hard chest, as they took the stairs up to the dormitories.

"Remus? Are you hiding in here?" Sirius called, pushing the door to their dorm open, coming face to face with an annoyed-looking werewolf.

"What, Padfoot?" Remus asked in irritation before he quickly jumped back as a whimper rose from Harry's throat. "What have you done now?" he asked, dread filling his voice.

"Nothing really," Sirius murmured absently, running his fingers through Harry's unruly hair. "Harry wanted to thank you. I guess, we'll have to postpone that a little."

"No, I'm fine." Harry sniffed, turning around to find Remus with his eyes. "Thank you for taking me to James earlier."

"I was afraid I would do more harm than good," Remus admitted softly, sitting down on his own bed as Sirius sat down on his bed with Harry still in his lap. "Are you okay now? I didn't think you two would make up so soon."

His voice held a hint of suspicion as he stared at Sirius, who looked down at the slight elf in his lap.

Harry cautiously turned around in Sirius' lap, relieved when the strong arms stayed protectively around his waist. "I am okay. Sirius explained it to me."

"Oh, yeah, what did he say?" Remus asked venomously, glaring at Sirius, making clear that he expected an answer from the veela.

"Harry is my mate and after what I did today, he couldn't help but believe me, right, beautiful?" Sirius stated proudly, pressing a kiss to Harry's forehead, on the scar Voldemort's curse had left. "And if he hadn't, I would have found another way to convince him."

"Ah," Remus returned, "and how long exactly did you need to figure that out? James and I told you that two weeks ago."

"What?" Harry asked in surprise. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It seemed to good to be true," Sirius mumbled in embarrassment. "And it felt like I would take advantage of you if you weren't really my mate, but you are. I know that now."

"About time, too." Remus chuckled lightly and Harry smiled up at Sirius, leaning back into him.

"He's right you know? Took you rather long."

"I'll make up for it, don't worry." Sirius grinned before falling back on the bed and rolling around so that he was hovering over Harry. "You're mine now."

"Oh, yeah?" Harry chuckled. "Prove it!"

Sirius smirked down at his little treasure before he lowered himself to Harry's neck, the one he had dreamed about, and began to cover it with butterfly kisses. Harry purred appreciatively and arched up into the taller boy, but when he made to pull Sirius closer with his arms, Sirius swiftly captured his wrists in one hand and held them over his head. The elf mewled in disappointment, but resigned to his fate and turned his head to the side to give the other creature better access.

Sirius, not one to pass up such an opportunity, licked the shell of Harry's ear, nibbled his lobe before he kissed the pointy end lightly. Harry gave a choked moan and Sirius, encouraged by this, suckled the soft patch of skin behind Harry's right ear lovingly before he bit down on his neck, intend to leave his mark. He licked and nibbled until the skin was pleasantly red and then kissed it soothingly again.

The lack of response startled him a little, but as he looked into Harry relaxed face that was drastically explained. Harry was sleeping peacefully.

"Remus!" Sirius drew back, shocked, jerking the hangings around the werewolf's bed open, who had closed them as soon as he became aware of what Sirius was planning.

"No, I don't have any lube, could you leave me to my book now?" Remus didn't look up, demonstratively turning to the next page. "And use a Silencing Charm."

"I don't have to. Harry is sleeping." Sirius helplessly motioned to where Harry had curled up on his side, his head buried in Sirius' pillow.

Remus threw a short look at Sirius' bed before he burst out laughing, holding his sides.

"That's not funny," Sirius grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring down at the other boy with little success.

"What's so funny?" James and Peter entered the room and James threw himself on the bed next to Remus, trying to understand what the werewolf was gasping out between his laughing.

Finally Remus had calmed down enough to get out his message, his face slightly red from laughing. "Harry fell asleep while Sirius was trying to seduce him." He pointed at Harry's still form, bursting into laughter again.

James soon joined in, rolling around on the bed while Sirius pouted. Peter also snickered and Sirius glared at them all.

"What's the matter?" Harry blinked his eyes open sleepily, starting another round of laughter.

"You fell asleep," Sirius said in an accusing tone that didn't make any sense to Harry.

"Sorry? I was tired." He cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Do I snore or something?"

"You fell asleep while I was kissing you," Sirius clarified.

A foolish grin spread over Harry's pale features. "That felt good, but I still don't understand what's so funny..."

"You weren't supposed to fall asleep." Sirius sighed, swinging a pillow at James' head. "I didn't think it was that boring."

"Oh, I thought you were finished. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Sirius plopped down next to him, taking the confused and scared elf into his arms. "I'm just not used to it that someone reacts like this to my seduction."

"You were trying to seduce me?" Harry asked, wide-eyed.

"Yes, is that a problem for you?" Sirius asked with concern. "Did I move too fast?"

"I don't know. I think so. I mean this is all kind of sudden and I'm still not sure I want to forgive you completely or if I only forgave you because I'm a submissive. Not that your apology wasn't really sweet and impressive and I don't think anyone ever did something this grand for me. And I appreciate it, really, but you weren't very nice to me before and I still liked you, even though I shouldn't have. Well, maybe I should have because I'm your mate and all that, but, you know..." Harry rambled, getting more and more frustrated with his inability to express his feelings adequately.

"It's alright," Sirius soothed him. "So I'm moving too fast for you?"

"Yes. Sirius, I never did things like that before and I don't want to bond with you just yet," Harry pleaded with him. "I barely know you and though you say I'm your mate, I can't say the same about you. You're my dom, but I don't think I love you. Yet."

Sirius took a deep breath to keep the tears from falling and seeing things reasonably. Harry didn't love him, Harry didn't want to bond with him, but he was Harry's dominant and that was something to work with. He would just have to focus on that.

"Okay, Harry, I will try to be patient, but my veela side is urging me to bond with you so that no-one can take you away from me again," he finally murmured. "But we still can do things without bonding, Harry, so you needn't be afraid of that. The bonding entails more than just sex."

"Ehm, Paddy, not to destroy your illusions or anything," James intervened. "While it might be true that **byou**/b can have sex without bonding, because you're a creature of love and passion and all that, this doesn't go for elves. We will bond to the first person we have sex with after we came in our inheritance."

"What?" Sirius shouted, horrified and Harry winced, covering his head with his arms protectively. "You never told me that."

"Didn't think it was necessary." James shrugged. "Lily knows. I was not about to tell the whole school that I couldn't have sex."

"I'm not the whole school, I'm your best friend, Prongsie, and I could have done something irrevocably stupid to Harry without even knowing it," Sirius exclaimed, absently pulling Harry into his lap and patting his hair.

"I rather thought you knew," James answered. "Besides, I didn't think you would try to seduce Harry anytime soon."

"You don't want me anymore, do you?" Harry asked with a bowed head, kneading his hands in distress.

"Of course I still want you," Sirius argued fiercely. "You're my mate and I love you and I'll do anything for you. I'm just shocked what could've happened if I hadn't found out about this now. I don't want to force you to bond with me and I want you to be sure that you want me, too... I'll slow down and you'll try to stay awake, okay?"

"Okay." Harry smiled up at him, snuggling into his strong chest. "You just made me feel so safe and relaxed."

"If you put it like this." Sirius smirked triumphantly. "May I kiss you?"

Harry nodded happily, tilting his head upward to look into his eyes. Sirius carefully cupped the smaller boy's face with his larger hands before he chastely brushed his lips over the other boy's, his tongue sneaking out to caress Harry's bottom lip. He nibbled slightly on it until Harry opened his mouth with a small sigh, allowing him entrance. Harry's eyes fluttered closed as soon as Sirius's tongue invaded his mouth and his own hands reached up to fist in Sirius's robes. _Oh, yes, he loved Sirius' kisses._

"Oh, how cute," James teased them as they finally drew apart and Harry rested his head on Sirius' chest, blushing lightly.

"Oh, shut up," Sirius grumbled, "at least..."

"At least what, Padfoot?" James challenged.

"That would be a blow below the belt," Sirius murmured before he focused his attention once more on Harry, who was looking very carefully at his hands, turning them around time and time again. "What are you doing, Harry?"

"You don't have padfoots," Harry murmured absently before looking up at him inquiringly. "Why do they call you 'Padfoot'? And why do you call James 'Prongsie' and Peter 'Wormtail'?" He blushed brightly. "Actually, I don't think I want to know the last one..."

Sirius laughed before exchanging a look with the other three Marauders. James nodded as did Remus, and Peter finally shrugged his shoulders.

"Shall we show you, Harry?" He smiled, standing up and putting Harry back on the bed before he stood in a row between James and Peter.

He exchanged a look with James, a mischievous smile spreading over their handsome features.

Harry stared wide-eyed as the two black-haired boy's bodies changed. James' legs lengthened, soft brown fur covering the slender legs as he changed into a beautiful stag. Magnificent antlers crowned his head and Harry recognised his Patronus.

Harry turned his eyes towards Sirius before the tears could fall from his eyes, startling slightly as instead of the tall young man stood a shaggy, huge black dog. His mouth was hanging open in a doggy grin, his stormy grey eyes smiling at Harry.

Finally he turned his eyes on Peter, finding a much smaller animal in his place. A slightly fat rat was sitting up on his hind legs, sniffing the air.

Harry slipped from the bed, kneeling in front of them and held out his hand for Sirius. He laughed as a wet tongue licked over his whole face before Sirius pushed his head in his hand. He gently patted the dog's head, rubbing behind his ear, which drew a yipping sound from Sirius' throat. Sirius half dropped on Harry, rolling to his back so that Harry would stroke his belly.

James stalked closer, keening softly as Harry gently caressed his sensitive nose, rubbing between his eyes. Harry giggled softly as the soft muzzle tickled his nose. Something crawled up his leg, coming a bit too close to his groin for his liking, but as he looked down it was only Peter. With another smile he started to pat him, too.

"Wow," he breathed out in awe. "Thanks for showing me."

James turned back into his human form as did Peter, quickly scrabbling away from Harry as the smaller boy groaned in pain at the weight on him.

"You truly have magical hands," Sirius murmured, putting his once again human head in Harry's lap and blinking up at him. "If that is how the Mixens felt it's no wonder they were so amicable after a little attention from you." Harry blushed at the compliment, running his hands through Sirius' velvety hair. "Do you understand the nicknames now?"

"Yes." Harry nodded, smiling a bit tearfully. "You did this for Remus, didn't you?"

Sirius nodded. "We became Animagi in our fifth year so that we could be there for him at the full moon."

"He's very lucky to have you," Harry muttered and Sirius reached up, caressing his cheek. "We are there for you now, too. No need to look so sad."

"Sirius, I don't want to be afraid of him anymore. Help me?" Harry begged and the Animagus nodded enthusiastically, getting Harry to stand up, and gently pushed him towards the werewolf.

"I will protect you."

Remus watched them warily as Harry stared back even more warily before he fluidly stood up, holding out his hand to Harry with an encouraging smile on his face.

"Want to give me a chance now that you have your personal body-guard?" Harry hesitated uncertainly and Sirius squeezed his shoulders in encouragement.

The small elf took a deep breath before he cautiously touched his hand to Remus', whimpering quietly as the werewolf closed his hand around his, but didn't draw back.

"See, nothing happened." Sirius took the shaking little sub into his arms, rocking him soothingly; he threw a grateful look at Remus, who inclined his head. "What can I give you as a reward, hm?"

Harry was obvious to the seductive lilt in Sirius' voice. "Can you make me feel safe again?"

"Of course," Sirius purred, pushing Harry down on his bed, this time paying special attention to Harry's other side, spoiling him with soft kisses.

It wasn't long before Harry was fast asleep again and Sirius sighed, pulling back. He had never thought that his charms could fail so drastically and he sincerely hoped that Harry wouldn't always fall asleep when he did this to him.

"He's probably only tired," Remus offered, looking up at him. "He doesn't sleep much."

"Why not? And how do you know?" Sirius sighed, throwing himself down on the werewolf's bed that already occupied Peter and James and a very irritated Remus.

"Because of me, Sirius," Remus explained to him. "I know this isn't really real to you, but Harry is truly afraid of me. I can hardly understand how he even brought up this much strength in order to tolerate my presence, much less touch me. He always waits until I'm sleeping and he's awake before any of us. I doubt that he sleeps very peacefully if at all."

"He doesn't," Sirius murmured more to himself than the other Marauders. "He gets up at least twice a night. I just thought he had a weak bladder, and that he likes to brush his teeth, or something."

"I think it has more to do with my presence," Remus replied.

"Why didn't he tell us?" James asked in shock and Sirius nodded emphatically. "We could have worked something out."

"Because he didn't want you to have to choose between him and me, I would assume," Remus murmured. "You two seem to ignore the downside of being a creature. Harry mostly fails to see the upside of it."

"How can you know so much about him?" Sirius questioned, jealousy rising in his chest. "You've hardly spent any time with Harry. Have you?!"

"No, I haven't spent much time with him, don't worry." Remus rolled his eyes. "But he wrote me a letter which allowed me some insights and we talked a few times. And I for one read some books to understand him better. Maybe that would help you, too."

"Come on, Moony, just tell us what to do like always," James returned. "What secrets have those oh-so-clever books revealed about our favourite sub?"

"My sub!" Sirius corrected, glaring at James, who only shrugged his shoulder unrepentantly.

Remus sighed but then rummaged through his bedside drawer and extracted a notepad. "Okay, elves are creatures of the forest--"

"Could we skip to the part that doesn't bore us to death?" James interrupted him. "Unless you want to practise your rhetorical abilities then I would choose to wait outside until you come to the point."

Remus glared at him but leafed over the next few pages. "Harry shouldn't get any signals concerning his mate, so you might say that he doesn't have one, an exception to other creatures. He won't feel safe until he is bonded to a dominant creature who at least cares greatly about him. Basically he has no control of that or the rest of his life. He has to obey every dominant, whether human or creature. Harry would even have to obey me, though he's almost deathly afraid of me or any other dark creature.

"That's another point: His fear. On the one hand he's afraid if a dominant is angry or even slightly displeased, but he's even more afraid when there's no dominant around. He needs your positive attention almost constantly. His wings come out whenever he feels the need to protect himself or a dominant, but they retract when he thinks he has done something wrong or angered you. Since his previous dominant mistreated him, his perception of what angers you might be slightly off. Do you want to know about his powers, too?"

Remus looked up at them expectantly. Sirius nodded lightly, chancing a look at the still sleeping elf.

"They should be the same as mine, shouldn't they?" James asked.

"More or less." Remus swayed his head lightly. "But as with your emotions the disparities between dominant and submissive elves can be extreme and since submissive elves are so rare the information on them is vague, to put it mildly. As you have already experienced he is great with animals and other than with dark creatures, he shouldn't be afraid of beasts or monsters, either. He can heal, which he did to you in Defence yesterday." He looked at Sirius. "He is very sensitive to changes in a person's aura and to light and dark magic. Elves are said to be able to influence the weather and to have elemental powers, but there's no proof of that. However, unlike you, James, he can only use those skills if you allow it or if he thinks someone else, especially a dominant, is in danger."

"So what can we do to help him?" Sirius asked. "That is all good and fine and also very interesting, but other than that you made me feel sufficiently bad for not knowing this before and not caring, either, it didn't solve the problem at hand, did it?"

"I don't understand why you make such a fuss about him," Peter spoke up. "He has no opinion or ideas of his own; he's absolutely boring."

Sirius lunged at him, snarling viciously. "Don't talk about my mate like this! You don't know anything!"

Peter whimpered, struggling out from under the furious Marauder and fled from the room.

"Sirius, calm down, okay?" James pulled him back into a sitting position next to him. "Peter is just a bit slow sometimes. We all know that Harry is special, okay, so calm down."

"It's not that," Sirius mumbled, dejected. "Harry said that to me yesterday when I confronted him in the library, that I treated him like he didn't have an opinion of his own.

"But I forgave you." Harry blinked open his eyes. "And you still treat me better than most."

"I thought you were sleeping," Sirius said, dropping to his knees next to Harry. "Did we wake you?"

Harry shook his head lightly, scrunching up his nose. "I kind of felt that you were upset. It's not because of me, right?"

"No, no, Harry." Sirius pulled him in his arms, tucking his head under his chin. "We were just trying to find a way to help you. What can we do for you, Harry?"

"You don't have to do anything for me. I'm fine," Harry murmured with a touch of defiance.

"And why are you so tired, Harry?" Sirius argued. "If you can't sleep, we'll have to find a way to help you."

"I do sleep," Harry answered defensively. "I always sleep an hour or so when I'm with Lucius and I sleep in the night."

Sirius sighed, deciding to change tactics. "What did I do to make you so relaxed that you could sleep with Remus just in the next bed?"

"You leaned over me and... I don't know I just felt protected like that," Harry admitted. "No one can hurt me when I'm in your arms or when you surround me like that."

"You're cute." Sirius chuckled, kissing Harry's forehead. "Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?"

"Can't we sleep in my bed?" Harry asked with a quick look to the werewolf; his bed would be farther away from him.

"No, either my bed or alone," Sirius decided. "I'll keep you safe and this way you can get used to Remus' presence. I think that's a fair compromise."

"I agree." James nodded. "Remus would never hurt you, Harry, we want you to learn that."

"I know that." The green-eyed boy sniffed because he felt that he had displeased the dominants and possibly hurt Remus again. "And I want to trust you, Remus, but I can't and I don't think that will change just because I'm forced to bear your presence."

"Does it get worse?" Sirius asked, worried.

"It just doesn't help me much to trust you more when you force me to do things I don't want to," Harry said quietly. "I want to learn not to be afraid of Remus anymore, but let me do it on my own pace, please."

"Okay, so your bed?" Sirius sighed, but to his surprise Harry slowly shook his head.

"Your bed is fine, I want to try it at least."

"Thank you." The taller boy smiled down at him. "What do you think, should we go down for dinner?"

Harry nodded and slipped his hand into Sirius'.

* * *

_Feel free to review!_


	11. Reasons

_Disclaimer: See first chapter!  
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_Author's Note: Thank you all for your reviews and your patience because I realise that it took incredibly long to get this chapter out. I hope you'll still like it. And thank you to Saemir, Makurayami Ookami and DaQiao17, who offered to help me with this story.  
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_Beta: Blaithin-mae, thank you!_

_Also, I have been asked about the title of this story. Didn't I explain that in the first chapter? Oh, well... "Crepererum" is the Latin word for "twilight", but it also means "uncertain" and so I thought it rather fitting because it refers to both Sirius (a shadow veela) and Harry (an uncertain submissive). Other than that, I'm not so happy about the title anymore, but I don't want to change it now, either *shrug*.__  
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**11. REASONS**

"Just try to relax," Sirius ordered Harry gently, pulling him closer to his chest. "Look, Remus has already closed his eyes."

"Sirius?" Harry carefully twisted around so that he could look Sirius at the face. "Am I bothering you?"

"Not at all," the veela assured him. "I like to have you this close to me. You smell delicious, you know? And you make me feel all warm and content and stronger."

Harry blushed, glad that the darkness hid it for the most part, though it seemed like Sirius knew exactly what his words had done to the elf.

"Sirius? Do you mind if... I grow my wings?" Harry whispered and felt how the older wizard shook his head lightly.

The Animagus started a little as the silky black wings also wrapped lightly around him, but was flooded with relief as he felt Harry relax against his chest. He sighed softly, just enjoying his small mate pressed against him.

His parents would throw a fit. A nameless creature; raised by Muggles to put the cherry on top. He would count himself lucky if there wasn't a howler waiting for him the next day, because the little snot that was his brother had told on him. Once again. Regulus did everything he could to gain their parents' approval and though they once had been close they now avoided each other like the plague. Sirius shook his head, he couldn't dwell on that now. He needed to protect his mate from his family's anger.

Another possibility crossed his mind. His family could be thrilled by this revelation. They weren't exactly disappointed that he and Narcissa turned out to be veelas. When they would find out that his mate was the only submissive elf in more than a century... He shuddered at the thought what kind of party they would throw to celebrate this fact or rather to show off with it. It would boost the Black reputation and that Harry had no family to speak of only meant that there would be less difficulties on acquiring their prize.

On second thought, this was even more horrifying - poor, innocent, loving Harry in their clutches as they squeezed his life and power out of him until there was nothing left. Harry would be less than a trophy for them, a breeding mare perhaps and he didn't doubt that they would find a way to destroy Harry completely.

His arms tightened around his small sub. He had to save Harry from that at all costs! He had resigned to the fact that his parents were close to hating him and he wouldn't buy their acceptance at Harry's expense.

"I thought you wanted me to sleep," Harry murmured sleepily, nudging Sirius' chin. "I can't when you are worrying so much. What's wrong?"

"Just thinking about my family's reaction to us," Sirius admitted. "I'm sorry. Go back to sleep, okay?"

"It won't be too bad," Harry reassured him drowsily. "You'll still have your friends... and me, whatever they say."

Sirius sighed, gathered Harry to his chest and kissed the soft pink lips once more, trying to save his worries for another day so that Harry could sleep.

*_*_*

The horror that faced them the next morning was worse than Sirius' nightmare filled dreams had suggested. Not a howler. No, that was too common. Walburga Black was far above such plebeian things; she came in person.

"Sirius." This one word alone was scratching over Harry's taut nerves, leaving bloody bruises. "I thought I'd be the first to congratulate you on finding such a mate." She looked Harry over, measuring him. "Won't you introduce us?"

"Harry, this is my mother," Sirius pressed out. "Mother, this is Harry Parker."

"Mrs. Black," Harry said softly, holding out a hand that was blatantly ignored.

Instead the stout witch slowly walked around them, finishing her inspection. "He's a bit mingy and obviously has no fashion sense at all. I hope he is at least pureblood, Sirius?"

"No, I'm not," Harry spoke up as Sirius merely shrugged his shoulders. "And I would appreciate it if you'd stop staring at me as if I was an animal you're considering buying, Mrs. Black."

"You won't speak unless spoken to," she hissed at him, sharply backhanding him across the face. "You will learn your place soon enough, Mudblood."

"Don't touch him again, mother, before I forget myself." Sirius' eyes flashed angrily, ice flames crackling briefly over his hands as Harry whimpered, pressing back against him.

"Watch your mouth, Sirius," she spat at him. "It was bad enough you were sorted into Gryffindor, I won't have you mess this up as well. You will not sully the Black name!"

"Don't speak to Sirius like that," Harry demanded, his wings resurfacing to shield Sirius from his mother's wrath. "What kind of mother are you that you treat your own son like that? I don't mind that you don't like me, but you will not hurt my dominant."

"How dare you even speak to me," the witch retorted, making to strike him again. "I forbid you, filthy Mudblood."

Harry closed his eyes for a moment, trying to ignore the command of the domineering woman. He needed to defend his dom. He needed to. Sirius' arms closed protectively around him, giving him the necessary confidence to speak.

"I'll ask you one last time to go in peace. Maybe you can come back when you have stopped sprouting the same bullshit as Voldemort, but until such a time when you're willing to apologise to Sirius for how you have treated him, you aren't welcome and have no business here."

"You filthy little bitch," she screeched, trying to wrap her claw-like hands around Harry's throat, but the small boy snapped his fingers once, his eyes narrowed dangerously.

What seemed like an army of house-elves appeared around them, their little, ugly faces set in grim lines as they pointed their long fingers at the Black matriarch. Her eyes widened in almost comical horror and with a collective beam of light, she disappeared into thin air and Harry collapsed in Sirius' arms.

"Master Black takes good care of the little elfling." One of the house-elves approached them, twisting his Hogwarts uniform. "He has a good heart that has seen too much evil. Someone has to take care of the little elfling because he is too concerned with taking care of others."

Sirius nodded gratefully, if a bit absently, at the messenger. As the little army plopped away again, he scooped Harry up and carried him out of the Great Hall.

"Harry, please wake up for me," he whispered pleadingly, sitting on the grand staircase leading up to Hogwarts with Harry leaning against his chest.

Harry's eyes snapped open immediately, focusing fearfully on his dominant. "I'm sorry, but she was going to hurt you," Harry mumbled, his voice raspy. "She had her wand and was thinking very mean thoughts. I couldn't allow that."

"Thank you, Harry, you probably saved my life. I don't think I would have survived her wrath when she found out that I have no intention to let her use you," Sirius murmured softly, kissing Harry chastely on the mouth.

"I didn't mean to disobey her, but she was hurting you and she insulted my mother." Harry sniffed, harshly wiping his wet eyes.

"It's okay, Harry, you had the right to do that," the veela reassured him, grinning a little. "That was a pretty cool stunt with all the house-elves. She'll be furious."

Harry whimpered softly, finding nothing amusing in that thought, and Sirius pulled him closer, wiping away the tears as they slowly began to roll down Harry's pale cheeks. After a bit of rocking and a lot of soothing words, Harry had calmed down enough to snuggle into Sirius' robes, purring lightly as the older boy began to rub circles on his back.

"Are you okay, Harry? Should I bring you to the infirmary?"

"I'm fine, just a bit exhausted and sad. I'm sorry she hates you so much."

"I don't need her, Harry," Sirius told him earnestly, rearranging the smaller boy's feet so that Harry's position didn't look quite so awkward anymore. "I need you. You know that I love you, don't you?"

"I'm beginning to believe it," Harry answered. "And ever since you admitted that I'm your mate, you've been more than perfect."

"I understand that one and a half days aren't enough," Sirius assured him, kissing Harry's temple. "Though it was quite enough for me to fall irretrievably deep in love with you." He smiled brightly. "I can't say I mind."

"But... She's your mother, don't you mind that, at least?"

"She's an insane old woman, she was never a good mother and she was never even a good person. I must have done something right if she despises me so much."

Harry sighed, keeping silent though he couldn't agree with Sirius. His mother's love had saved him and when he looked at Lily Evans his heart ached with a by now familiar longing for something he had never really had. But perhaps Sirius was different or perhaps he just hid it as Harry had done for the longest time.

"I want to make you happy," Harry said suddenly, pulling Sirius out from his dreams of imagining his mother's face as she realised that she had been defeated by house-elves. "Let me?"

"That depends, Harry," Sirius gently stopped him. "I don't want you to make me happy if it makes you unhappy. What did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking about ice cream," Harry answered, his enthusiasm dissipating slightly as he got a weird look from the veela. "It always makes me feel better," he mumbled in embarrassment.

Sirius laughed at that answer, ruffling Harry's hair. "We haven't even had breakfast yet and you're thinking about ice cream? But I'm not complaining. How do we get your ice cream?"

Harry snapped his fingers with a grin and a house-elf with honey-coloured skin popped into view, bowing deeply and smiling at Harry.

"What can Frizzle do for Master Harry, Sir? I is not seeing any mean hag," the house-elf said and Sirius laughed - he had never known that house-elves possessed a sense of humour.

"Could we have some ice cream, please?" Harry asked with a friendly smile and after another deep bow the house-elf disappeared.

One minute later a giant bowl with ice cream, chocolate sauce, brittle chips, sprinkles, kiwis, bananas, apples and all other kinds of fruit appeared in front of them with two long-stemmed spoons.

Sirius whistled appreciatively, handing Harry one of the spoons. "Well, then, bon appétit."

He clanked their spoons together before scooping up some of the strawberry ice cream with sprinkles and transporting it into his mouth. All the while, he watched Harry reverently as Harry licked the ice cream of his spoon. _Damn, did that boy know how fucking sexy that was?_ A small lick at first, tentative, then a quick swirl of the tongue, another lick and another until the sweet substance was almost completely gone and then he sucked the whole spoon into his mouth, cleaning it, before the innocent seduction started all over again.

Sirius quickly turned back to eating his own ice cream before the bulge in his pants could become even more obvious. Still, he couldn't help but stare at Harry more than once, especially as Harry accompanied his eating with soft moans of appreciation.

In the end, they had managed to eat about a quarter of the sundae; Harry was smiling happily and Sirius was looking for a suitable excuse to make a short trip to the next best restroom.

"And are you happy now?" Harry asked hopefully after the same house-elf had taken the rest of the ice cream away.

"Yes, I'm very happy," Sirius assured him, leaning over to kiss Harry tenderly, though in hindsight he had to admit that this wasn't too good a move in his current condition.

"Thank you." Harry blushed lightly, touching his fingers to his lips.

"I intend to do that more often," Sirius replied. "Though not now. Jamie will kill me if I make his new Seeker late for practise."

Harry pouted much too cutely, but right on cue James, followed by almost the whole Quidditch team, skipped down the steps. "Harry, I want you changed and on your broom in ten minutes, you'd better go."

Harry smiled a bit uncertainly before he waved at Sirius and ran to catch up with his team mates.

"You okay there, Paddy?" James thumped him on his back. "You know my mum loves you, wrote me a whole letter asking about your health and she'll want to meet Harry, too. He'll sweep her off her feet; that boy is too adorable for his own good."

"I know." Sirius groaned, carefully standing up. "I'll be late for practise, Jamie. I really, **really** need to go to the loo now."

He could still hear James' laughter ringing in his ears as he locked himself in one of the toilet stalls to get rid of the little problem in his pants.

After he had cleaned himself up again and rearranged his clothes, he sauntered out to the Quidditch pitch where Harry was training with the rest of the team, soaring around, diving and dodging the Bludgers as if he had done so all his life.

Sirius wasn't sure if James or Harry was better because they flew so differently. They both indubitably had a lot of talent, were naturals on the broom, though he would never admit it to James because that would go against the concept of their friendship. James flew with abnormal speed, passing the Quaffle to his fellow Chasers and throwing it with more strength than Sirius was sure Harry possessed. Harry, on the other hand, flew even faster, doing twists and sharp turns that seemed impossible and made it hard to follow him with his eyes.

"Siri, get your butt on your broom!" James shouted down to him. "I have every intention of winning the next game, preferably without being hit by a Bludger because you didn't pay attention during practise."

"Geez, give a man a break," Sirius groused. "I'm on my way."

*_*_*

"Okay, we are finished for today." James clapped his hands loudly. "Come back down for a minute." Harry was the first next to him, the Snitch firmly grasped in his hand. "Russell," James addressed one of the beaters, "a bit less force will do, I would appreciate it if the Bludgers wouldn't fly for hours before they can go back to knocking the Slytherins of their brooms. Dina, Patrick we'll continue practising the new strategy in the next training, which is Monday, four o' clock. Harry, you were great, nothing more to say, really."

"Thanks." Harry blushed, scrunching up his nose a little as James pulled him into a sweaty hug.

The older elf laughed. "No problem, Harry, why don't you go and say hello to Sirius?" He waggled his eyebrows exaggeratedly and Harry blushed before he ran over to Sirius.

"Good training?" Sirius laughed. "You looked magnificent."

"Thanks," Harry ducked his head. "I missed you, though. Why did you leave early?"

"I had to pay some debts," Sirius replied, rubbing the still slightly itchy skin of his neck. "Besides, I'm only reserve."

"You asked for it," Harry answered softly.

"I know," Sirius agreed. "How about a kiss now?"

"That would be great," Harry whispered, mewling a little as he was pulled flush against Sirius.

The older boy chuckled lightly before he tilted Harry's face upward and captured Harry's lips in another of his mind-blowing kisses, relishing in the small hands that once again fisted in his robes.

Someone cleared their throat behind Sirius and when he turned around, Harry had already thrown himself into Snape's arms. The veela snarled dangerously.

"You came, thank you!" Harry exclaimed. "Are you okay?"

"If you can keep him from murdering me, I am," Severus drawled nonchalantly.

"Sirius, please." Harry turned around, begging him with his eyes. "You said I could be friends with Severus."

"I said nothing about touching him," Sirius growled. "Come here."

Harry complied, though reluctantly, lowering his eyes as Sirius wrapped his arms around his waist.

"You're doing it again," he whispered and Sirius' hold relaxed, though the arms stayed around Harry's waist. "I'm sorry, Harry, but I don't like it when you touch someone else."

"You had no problem with James earlier," Harry argued, tensing as Sirius' pulled him closer again.

"I did, but I trust Jamie," Sirius admitted. "Him, however, I don't trust."

"You should trust **me**!" the elf insisted though he felt slightly guilty at the thought of the kiss he had shared with Severus. "And if you can't do that, I don't think I want to trust you. Please, let me go."

"I do trust you, Harry." Sirius sighed, but dropped his arms. "But you can't deny that you couldn't do much if Snape was to take advantage of you. I'm just worried."

"I trust Severus," Harry retorted. "And I know that I'm completely helpless, thanks for reminding me."

"Harry, come on." The grey-eyed boy cupped the smaller wizard's face. "I didn't mean it like that and I'm sorry I overreacted and ordered you to come back to me. Please, don't be angry. It's just... Snape, if you hurt Harry, I will skin you alive and then I'll find an anthill so that the ants can crawl all over you and hopefully eat you, though I doubt that even they would have such bad taste."

"After meeting your mother, I kind of expected you to be able to make a better threat - stupid I know." Severus sneered. "It's no wonder you're such a disappointment to your family."

"Severus, please," Harry begged. "Please, cut it out."

"I wanted to tell you that you should speak with Lucius." Severus shrugged. "Hadn't counted on lover boy to get more irritating than usual."

"I was going to speak with him, but why is it so important?" Harry cocked his head.

"Firstly, because he should know about **this**." Severus made a vague gesture towards Sirius. "And then you might want to ask him to speak with the Quidditch team so that they don't get the idea to give you some orders during the match. Wouldn't want you to fall of the broom, now would we?"

"Can I go, Sirius?" Harry asked pleadingly.

"Fine," Sirius muttered, reluctantly allowing Harry to step towards the future Potion's Master, who smirked. "But... Nothing. Be safe."

"Thank you." Harry smiled brilliantly at him before tugging Severus away with him.

"Oh and, Black, I want you to drink this." Severus stopped, looking back over his shoulder, holding out a tiny flask of clear liquid. "It takes a while to take effect and lasts twenty-four hours so you might as well take it now."

"And what is it supposed to so?" Sirius asked skeptically.

"You'll see." Severus smirked and then strode away with a Harry at his side, who only managed to send an encouraging smile back at his mate.

"You got your way without your elfish charm," Severus murmured to Harry. "I'm impressed how well you have him wrapped around your little finger."

"Oh, you! Don't be so mean all the time. He's trying at least," Harry chastised him. "You should do that, too."

"I haven't as much motivation as he does." Severus shrugged. "I doubt you would reward me like him."

"Severus... I thought you were okay," Harry said sadly. "Please, don't make me feel even worse than I'm already feeling."

"Why are you feeling bad?" Severus questioned incredulously. "I don't blame you for my feelings and I shouldn't have built up my hopes. I knew that you're an elf and that I didn't stand a chance. Don't feel bad."

"I feel bad because you're my friend and because you're feeling bad," Harry explained. "I know that it's unrealistic for everyone to be happy, but I can still try, can't I?"

"Of course." Severus rolled his eyes. "Try to make everything sunshine, dreams and fairy tale. I'll try to not provoke Black, alright?"

"Thank you, Severus." Harry grinned suddenly. "And I will set you up with someone!"

"What? No!" Severus meant to shake some sense into the laughing Gryffindor, but Harry quickly slipped from his grasp and fled to the Slytherin common room where he looked for his loyal protector.

"Lucius, protect me!" Harry gasped out, hiding behind the blond's back. "Please, please, protect me! He's trying to kill me!"

"I'll kill you if you do that, Parker." Severus pushed into the common room moments later. "Don't you dare..."

"See?" Harry looked pleadingly up at the blond, who seemed to be fighting a smirk. "I need your protection."

"Yes, I see that." Lucius gave in to the urge to smirk. "What I don't see is why. Care to tell me?"

Harry grinned up at him before he stood on his tip toes to whisper into the blond's ear. Lucius laughed at the new information, putting himself between Harry and a fuming potions genius.

"I think I agree with Harry." He smirked. "You need to get laid."

"That's not what I said," Harry protested as Severus growled dangerously.

"But that is what it amounts to." Lucius laughed. "You are just too innocent to be so blunt."

"You will so pay for this, Parker." Severus sneered before swirling around and walking to the dorms.

"He will calm down." Lucius was still grinning as he pulled Harry down on the sofa. "So, you wanted to tell me that you and Black are together now and that you are his mate."

Harry nodded. "That's okay with you, isn't it?"

"Of course, Harry." The blond squeezed his hand reassuringly. "I wanted you to find your mate and Black isn't too bad for a Gryffindor."

"Try telling that to Severus," Harry muttered sarcastically. "He just gave Sirius a potion with Merlin knows what effect."

"Well, Black knew what to expect," Lucius said calmly. "And though he sent a lot of apologies, I doubt there are many people he pranked more than ten times; thus warranting a payback. In no time, you'll have your mate all to yourself again, Harry."

"I'm not sure that he's my mate," Harry admitted. "I want to have dreams like you or at least smell that something is different with Sirius, but I don't."

Lucius sighed, pulling Harry to his chest. "You care about him, don't you?"

"Yes, but I care about you, too, it's just a bit different."

"That says a lot already." Lucius smiled at him. "Would you allow me to kiss you? Would you want me to kiss you?"

"No." Harry shook his head quickly. "I like Sirius' kisses, but that can't be all, can it? I mean, even Lily is in love with James and doesn't have any creature blood. Why, why, if I'm supposedly an elf, don't I feel anything?"

Lucius chuckled. "Oh, Harry, do you really think that Lily and Potter became the perfect couple as soon as Potter came into his inheritance? Do you think that Lily woke up with the thought that she was utterly in love with Potter? Potter had been pursuing her long before he was even aware of his elven inheritance. By our fifth year, Potter had already decided that he would marry Lily Evans and no one else. He proposed to her in the middle of the Great Hall. She refused, but with time she realised that when he was pranking her, he was only trying to gain her attention, and that when he showered her with compliments, he meant each and every one of them. And then she gave him a chance and began to slowly return his love. When James came into his inheritance and Lily was his mate, they both took it as a confirmation not the reason for their love."

"Would Sirius have done that, slowly won my heart if I'd have been here from the beginning?" Harry asked softly.

"I'm convinced of it, little one." Lucius smiled gently at him. "Our creature blood is not the reason we love, it's the reason why we find true love. And I heard it's very satisfactory to be loved above all else. Why do you think is it a dream of every little girl to be the mate of a magical creature?"

"But why don't I have something like that?" Harry all but shouted, at the end of his tether. "You have dreams and scents and pulls and instant attraction and what not, and I have nothing! Why, Lucius, tell me why?"

"Shh, try to be calm," Lucius murmured soothingly in Harry's ear, pulling him closer. "And I will try to give you an answer."

Harry swallowed heavily; putting his head on Lucius' shoulder as he waited for an answer that didn't seem to be forthcoming because Narcissa entered the common room, immediately demanding Lucius' full attention. Narcissa's slender form tensed minutely when she saw someone so close to her mate, but then she relaxed when she recognised Harry and with a brilliant smile she sat down next to Lucius, pecking his lips and patting Harry's hand.

"What are you to doing?" she asked gently.

"Lucius wanted to explain to me why nothing tells me that Sirius is my mate," Harry said, hoping to prompt Lucius to finally give him an answer.

"Of course Sirius is your mate," Narcissa said matter-of-factly. "It's blatantly obvious in the way he looks at you and treats you."

"But I don't feel it," Harry protested, locking his eyes on Lucius', pleading with him. "Why not?"

The blond wizard sighed. "There's a fairy tale, a legend, about a time when creatures were numerous and wizards few. In the Kingdom of Elves, there was an Elven prince and he was beautiful and powerful even for his race. But he was arrogant and cruel and used his considerable skills to control and hurt others. He ordered the animals to work for him, even made them sacrifice themselves so that he would have something to eat and changed the weather at a whim, destroying the harvest more than once and thereby condemning the peasants to famine and death.

"When his parents died he ascended the throne, with his submissive mate at his side, and the kingdom fell into despair with nothing between it and the wrath of the newly crowned king. Within one year, he had destroyed a once flourishing kingdom, the people and animals fled or hid in fear, the once fertile land was burned. This angered the gods and, gathering all their might, they punished the king and with him the race of elves. They could not take the power completely from them so they redistributed it, weakening the dominants and giving the power to the submissives. But to make sure that the submissives wouldn't be able to use their power they were made dependent on their mates, more dependent than any other race. But the gods were not done yet and blocked the submissives so they wouldn't find their mate, either, hoping that all the power would die with them."

"Really, Lucius, you told the story all wrong," Narcissa tutted disapprovingly, trying to dispel the worried and desperate expression from Harry's face. "It wasn't like that at all."

"Then how was it, dear?" Lucius asked, while patting Harry's hair.

"The king was selfish and cruel, but his mate wasn't. She was a very gentle soul, friendly and helpful to all, but her love for the king paralysed her and hindered her from standing up to him to protect her people. And so it was her, who asked the gods for help. The gods answered her plea and as they saw how pure and innocent she was, they awarded her and her descendants with all the power they took from the king.

"But she was afraid that submissives would be trapped in the same situation again, not able to stand up to their mates even if their conscience cried for them to do so. She didn't want the power and asked the gods to free her of it. They refused, but still wanted to help her and though they couldn't take away her dependency on a dominant, they freed her of the dependency on a mate," Narcissa said, squeezing Harry's hand. "You're in the unique situation of having a mate, but not needing him. You can decide if Sirius is really the man for you or if you want to find someone else."

Harry sighed, closing his eyes briefly. "I like your version better, Cissa."

The witch laughed. "I thought so. Though, I really think that Sirius can make you happy and that you make him happy already. He's not one of the dominants you need protection from."

"I know," Harry murmured. "I just think I would feel bad if I never learned to love him like he loves me... But thank you both, nonetheless. It helped."

"I'm glad," Lucius replied. "Tell me if I can do anything for you, alright? Just because Black more or less claimed you now, it doesn't mean that I will just forget about you."

"Actually there is something you could do," Harry said hesitantly, looking up at him. "I'm Gryffindor's new Seeker. Could you ask the Slytherin team to not take advantage of me during the game, please?"

"I will talk with our captain, don't worry." Lucius smiled a little. "No-one shall say that we couldn't win the game fairly."

Harry laughed softly. "I didn't think that Slytherins were known for fair play."

"We might take advantage of a situation, but never of you, Harry," Lucius promised him, putting an arm around Narcissa. "You are far too precious for that and after that impressive demonstration this morning, everyone will think twice before angering you."

Harry nodded slightly before getting up. "I should get back before Sirius completely loses it. Can you tell Severus that I'm sorry for making him angry?"

"Sure, do you want me to walk with you?"

"I think I will be fine." Harry smiled at both of them. "Sirius is waiting just outside."

* * *

_I hope that I'll be able to update soon, but as I just realised I gave my beta chapter 13 instead of chapter 12 so now chapter 13 is all finished and chapter 12 isn't... Oops? _

_But that shouldn't keep you from reviewing...  
_


	12. Brutal Honesty

_Disclaimer: See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: Here you go, Severus' long-awaited prank. Hope you like it._

_Beta: TheElementalMaster, thank you for the quick work!_

* * *

**12. BRUTAL HONESTY**

Harry didn't think anything of it when Sirius greeted him with a sensual kiss and then said that Harry was the most beautiful person he had ever seen and that he was completely helpless against Harry's charm since Sirius was prone to flattery. But when they entered the Gryffindor common room, Harry began to become slightly suspicious because Sirius answered James' question if they wanted to play Exploding Snap with him and Lily with a:

"James, you're my best friend and my brother and during our First Year you were the only reason I got up in the morning. And I mean that in a completely platonic way."

James blinked. "Erm, thanks, Siri, you're my best friend as well, but are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, of course." Sirius shook his head. "Let's play Exploding Snap, alright?" He led Harry over to their table, motioning him to sit down in the armchair next to Lily.

"You could at least ask if Harry also wants to play," Lily reprimanded him, scowling.

"Lily, if I wasn't so completely in love with Harry that I can't think of anything else and if you weren't Jamie's girl you'd be on the very top of my list for potential dates," Sirius told her, immediately clasping his hands over his mouth. "I didn't mean to say that. I'd never -- You know that, Prongsie, don't you?"

James' hands had tightened into fists and he stepped between Lily and Sirius, glaring at his best friend. "You better keep your hands off my mate, Sirius."

"You're a great Quidditch player, but I would never tell you because your ego is more than big enough already," Sirius burst out, his eyes widening in horror. "Merlin, what is happening?"

Lily's lips twisted as if she was holding back a smile, even as she pulled James back down in his seat, keeping him there by sitting down in his lap. The elf's expression changed from furious possessiveness to happy bliss and finally to gleeful amusement.

"So anything else you want to tell me, Paddy?" he asked innocently and even though Sirius tried to contain the words with his hands, they still escaped.

"I envy you for your family," Sirius mumbled, through his hands, before groaning loudly. "What is happening?"

"It could be Severus' potion," Harry offered cautiously, not sure if he really wanted to know what Sirius' thought of him.

"I wish I could make you see how much I love you and that my love would be enough to make you accept your elf side," Sirius said. "Damn that git. Tomorrow is Monday and the Professors won't be impressed by my newfound honesty."

James burst out laughing, grinning unsympathetically at his best friend. "I'd almost have to congratulate Snape on that prank."

"On what prank?" Remus asked, approaching together with Peter and took a seat on the sofa. "What did Snape do to you, Sirius?"

"Remus, I admire you for the fact that you never wallow in self-pity, even though you have every right to, and always have an open ear for my problems, however petty they may be," Sirius whispered. "I'm so going to kill Snape for this."

Remus had a faint blush on his cheeks. "So he tells everyone what he thinks of them when he's asked a question, James?"

"Why don't you ask him?" James laughed and Sirius glared at him.

"I'm going to go to bed," Sirius declared.

"It's only five o'clock," Peter pointed out, an eager expression on his face. "And don't you have to still do your homework?"

"Peter, you're my friend, but more out of loyalty than because I like you as a person," Sirius answered, and it was hard to say who of the two looked more horrified. "Wormy, that came out wrong. I do like you and you had some wicked ideas, but I just have the feeling that you don't like Harry and if you don't like Harry, I take it personally.

Harry startled when he was suddenly drawn into their conversation, watching unhappily when Peter stormed out of the common room, banging the portrait shut behind him.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered, dropping to his knees in front of Sirius and putting his cheek against the rough palm of his hand. "I'm so sorry."

"Shh, breathtaking, I love how compassionate and sweet you are, but I never want to see you sad." Sirius replied, lifting Harry onto his lap. "You're not the one to blame. I'm just being an overprotective, stupid dominant and Peter knew very well that I didn't appreciate his hostility towards you. I'll talk to him once I'm back to normal and I'm sure he'll forgive me."

"Of course he will," James assured them. "Peter isn't unforgiving and he knows that we can't help our protective instincts. He'll come around."

But nonetheless, the atmosphere was strained and Sirius excused himself soon after.

*_*_*

The next day wasn't any better for Sirius, as he answered every question asked by a teacher with his own analysis of their character and looks. Professor McGonagall especially was not amused when Sirius called her an overly strict witch with no sense of humour, who acted as if she had swallowed a stick and gave him detention and told him to write an essay about politeness and proper respect.

"Snape is so dead," Sirius growled after their last class, frightening Harry even though he knew the anger wasn't directed at him.

"Talking about me, Black?" Severus' thin face was edged into a superior smirk. "Trouble in paradise now that you can't hide behind your eloquent lies anymore? Can't your friends deal with the bitter truth that you're an egocentrical, superficial, empty-minded bully and have no regard for them? How sad."

"Snape, you're a greasy git with no personality, sense of humour or friends and I shudder at the thought that I could have ended like you," Sirius retorted and then buried his face in Harry's neck. "This is enough, Snape. You had your revenge now give me the antidote."

"Why would I do that?" Severus asked curiously.

"Because I'm asking you to," Harry intervened, stopping Sirius from telling Severus another hard truth. "Please, Sev, this prank isn't only hurting Sirius but everyone around him. No First Year needs to be told that her pimples make her look like a crumble cake."

"Oh, well, she had to find out sooner or later." Severus shrugged, and Harry glared at him, petting Sirius' hair soothingly. "Who even says I have an antidote?"

Harry snorted. "I say so because you're paranoid. You wouldn't test any potion without having the antidote ready. Now, please, Sev."

"If I give you the antidote, Black, I want Harry," Severus stated and Sirius snarled viciously, pushing Harry behind himself.

"I don't traffic in human beings, Snape," Sirius spat. "Keep your stupid antidote, you won't get Harry, ever."

"So pathetic." Severus rolled his eyes. "I guess it didn't occur to you, Black, that Harry and I still have a Potions project to finish and that I merely asked you to let Harry go without making a fuss. Harry, are we going or not?"

Harry hesitantly looked at his dominant, pleading with his eyes. "Can I go, Sirius? We'll only be working on our project, I promise."

Sirius' grey eyes were still narrowed even as he told Harry how much he loved his smell and then nodded reluctantly. "Okay, but I'll come and fetch you in about two hours. Is that alright with you?"

"Yes, that's great. Thank you." Harry smiled, licking his lips as he waited for a good-bye kiss from Sirius.

He didn't need to wait long for Sirius' lips to seal his, massaging and nipping and licking, while his hands caressed Harry's back and neck, drawing a moan of appreciation from the younger boy. Eventually, they had to separate, much to Harry's disappointment, and Sirius' arms slipped from around Harry's waist, allowing him to walk over to Severus, who had been looking out of the window.

"Ready?" he asked neutrally, turning around when Harry nodded. "The antidote is on the window sill."

He didn't wait for Sirius to answer but just strode away not even shorting his steps so that it would be easier for Harry to keep up with him.

When they reached the library, Harry dropped into his customary chair, regaining his breath while Severus fetched some books.

"Thank you," Harry said, when Severus returned with an armload of books.

"I still have three pranks." The tall young man shrugged.

"I know." Harry sighed. "What are you going to do?"

"Read that book, Harry," Severus told him. "I was thinking of saving my pranks since I don't think you would appreciate me changing Black's **formidable** looks or his **engaging** personality."

"Then why did you pull this prank?" Harry asked, listlessly leafing through his book.

Severus looked at him as if he had said something extremely stupid, but finally deigned to answer. "Because I wanted you to know if Black was serious about his compliments. Obviously that backfired as for once Black was honest."

"Oh."

"Yes, oh. Now read, the project is due in one week." Severus ordered, opening his own book.

They read in silence for a while, but after Severus had turned down one more of Harry's suggestions, the elf lost his temper.

"Severus, just pick a stupid potion," Harry demanded, throwing his book at the other boy. "Some of the potions take much longer than a week to brew, so make up your mind or there won't be a potion left."

"I don't want to pick a stupid potion, I want the perfect potion," Severus growled. "We'd probably have found it already if you weren't always whining."

"I hope you know how unfair and unnecessary that comment was," Harry hissed at him. "I've put up with this long enough and you won't even tell me what you're looking for. Just tell me which potion you want to do and we do it, it's that easy."

"It's not," the older boy growled. "We don't have the ingredients for the potion I want to do and until now I haven't found one with at least scarcely the same effect. So go back to searching."

"Which ingredients?" Harry challenged. "I can most likely get them for you. Show me the recipe."

Severus snorted, but pulled a piece of parchment out of his bag and handed it to Harry. "Can we go back to work then?"

"I can get them," Harry declared.

"Stop this nonsense, Harry." Severus sneered in annoyance. "Phoenix tail feathers and powdered unicorn hooves are much too rare and expensive as if Degenhardt would just give them to you. I already asked her, so you can forget it."

Harry glared at him. "Fawkes? Would you mind coming here for a moment?"

Before Severus had time to question Harry's sanity, Dumbledore's fiery red phoenix appeared out of thin air, gave a happy trill and perched on Harry up-drawn knee.

"Fawkes, would you mind giving me one of your tail feathers for a potion?" Harry asked lowly, stroking the bird's head. "It would really help me to preserve my sanity."

Severus could swear that the phoenix grinned as he plugged out one of the long red-gold feathers and gave it to Harry before he disappeared with a second trill.

"We won't need the unicorn hooves for a while so I'll get them tomorrow," Harry said crisply.

"Harry, that's great --"

"It would have been even greater if you had told me about this little problem three weeks ago," Harry snapped at him.

"I'm sorry, okay, Harry?" Severus tried to calm him. "I should have told you about it. Don't be angry with me, please?"

"Fine, if you tell me what this great potion does," Harry demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It helps you to change into any desired animal," Severus sounded truly excited and Harry's expression softened. "It's very painful normally, but if we combine it with the other two potions it will be like being an Animagus only better. You ingest the potion and only change back when you want to."

"That really sounds good," Harry admitted, smiling a little as Severus hugged him, something he had never done before without Harry initiating it first.

"We can start the potion now, let it simmer over night and add the remaining ingredients tomorrow," the taller boy said. "We can also test it tomorrow."

"Okay, Severus," Harry agreed. "What do you think of Remus?"

"What?" Severus asked absently, packing his things.

"I asked what you think of Remus," Harry repeated. "You know tall, brown-haired, amber-eyed, polite, caring, with a big heart?"

"Why do you want to know?" Severus asked suspiciously before he began to rapidly shake his head. "No, absolutely not. You will not set me up with a Gryffindor."

"But I think he likes you," Harry argued. "And I have seen you looking at him."

"Everybody looks at someone, who is puking his guts out. It's a reflex."

"I didn't mean today," Harry glared at him. "He was just sick. I saw you looking before that, don't you deny it and I want an answer or you can forget those hooves."

"Then you ruin your Potions grade as well as mine."

"True, but I'm used to having abhorrent grades in potions," Harry declared, tapping his foot. "I can live with another one."

"Fine, but if you tell anyone about this..." he trailed off meaningfully, but Harry merely rolled his eyes, nodding impatiently. "He's the best of them, which doesn't say much. He's not exactly bad looking and, wonder over wonder, he's not hopelessly retarded."

"So you like him," Harry concluded. "Good, because he will ask you to a date for Saturday."

"What?" Severus spluttered.

"I want you to at least give him a chance, Severus," Harry pleaded. "Go out with him once and if you don't like him after that, fine, but don't hurt him. He's done a lot for me. Can't you, please, just try?"

Harry looked very much like he would burst into tears if Severus said no and since he really didn't know how nor want to deal with a crying Harry he reluctantly agreed. _Of course, that was the only reason!_

"Thank you." Harry threw his arms around the taller boy. "You won't regret it."

"I hope for you that I won't," Severus muttered.

Harry sighed, looking up at him, through dark lashes. "You know I mean well, don't you?"

"Of course you do." Severus sighed, fleetingly touching Harry's cheek, "I'm not angry."

"Good, because I hate it when someone is angry at me." Harry smiled at him. "Want to get started on that potion?"

Severus nodded eagerly and soon after they were both standing around a boiling cauldron, Severus handing Harry the prepared and perfectly measured ingredients at the appropriate time, and told Harry how to stir.

"We need to let it simmer now," Severus said finally, catching Harry as he swayed a little from fatigue. "I'll take you up to the tower."

"Don't bother, Snape." Sirius stepped out of the shadows and Harry moved into his arms.

"You were spying on me again," Harry stated.

"Yeah," Sirius admitted, unrepentant. "I just miss you so much."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Tomorrow, Severus?"

"Yes, after dinner," Severus nodded. "Make sure to bring those hooves then we can try it."

"Good night, Severus." Harry smiled at him. "Don't forget what you promised."

Severus scowled, not deigning him a reply, and after putting a protection charm around the cauldron moved past Harry and Sirius.

The veela carefully scooped Harry up in his arms, kissing his nose, and carried the smaller boy up to the Gryffindor tower and though Harry thought that he very well could have walked on his own, he couldn't help but enjoy it and almost drifted into sleep before Sirius put him down in his bed.

Sirius untied his shoes and Harry wriggled his toes, mumbling and sighing blissfully. He then helped Harry out of his robes and the rest of his clothes and even in his half-asleep state Harry still blushed at the fact that Sirius saw him in his underwear. A chaste kiss was pressed to his chest before Sirius buttoned up his pyjama top and Harry arched into the gentle contact.

"Sirius?"

"Yes, gorgeous?"

"Can you kiss me?"

Sirius smirked, slipping in behind Harry and spooning around his small mate, before he turned Harry's head with one hand and brought their lips together in a demanding kiss. Harry made a keening sound as Sirius' tongue invaded his mouth and invited his own to a dance while the older boy's hand gently caressed his stomach.

"I don't like it when you hug other men," he murmured absently, as he traced Harry's abdomen with his finger before he placed another kiss over Harry's belly button. "You are all mine and no-one is allowed to touch you."

"You are kind of cute when you go all possessive." Harry chuckled. "Rather annoying, but cute nonetheless."

Sirius growled playfully. "You can count yourself very lucky that I'm so controlled or I would pound you into the mattress until you can no longer walk so that you'd know who you belong to, tempting little tease."

"I know that I'm yours," Harry said earnestly. "Yours only."

"Good," Sirius growled, linking his arms with Harry's. "I love you, tiny."

"I care a lot about you," Harry mumbled, not sure how to react to such a declaration, but Sirius didn't seem to take offence and instead buried his nose in Harry's hair like he always did, while his right hand kept stroking his belly lightly.

Harry was already drifting off to sleep when Sirius said something else, "I will come with you tomorrow, don't even start to argue with me. I won't let you test a potion with Snape alone in a room. Sleep now."

Before he could think about replying, he felt his eyelids grow heavy and was claimed by the land of dreams, thinking that Sirius was being unfair and that the arms around him felt fabulous.

*_*_*

"What is **he** doing here?" Severus sneered as Sirius followed Harry into the classroom.

"Being paranoid," Harry muttered. "Ignore him. Here are the powdered unicorn hooves." He handed Severus a small plastic bag with fine gold powder in it and then sat down with his back to Sirius. "Will it take long until the potion is finished?"

"About ten minutes," Severus muttered absently, measuring the powder while stirring the potion with his other hand. "I kept my promise, by the way."

"I know." Harry grinned. "He had a huge smile on his face when I saw him earlier. Thank you."

"You are easy to please," Severus murmured. "Here, keep stirring counter-clockwise and not too fast."

He gave Harry the spoon and then slowly let the powder trickle into the potion that turned a vicious purple before slowly changing into orange.

"It's finished," Severus declared after eyeing it critically and filled several vials with the orange liquid. "I'll try it."

"Who says that you get to try it?" Harry demanded.

"Harry, you are the one good with animals. I'm sure it worked so don't worry," Severus appeased him. "I'll take it, change and change back after about ten minutes. That's all. The antidote is over there." He motioned over to a smaller table. "Essence of mandragola will do, should something go amiss."

"Fine," Harry relented. "But if you get ill I won't visit you in the hospital."

"You know you would." Severus smirked before quickly downing one of the bottles.

He grimaced in distaste and stepped a bit away from Harry so that he was standing in the shadows. Harry strained his eyes to see something, but it was his elf senses that told him first that Severus had changed.

"Oh, you are such a cutie, aren't you?" he cooed automatically, dropping to his knees and holding out his hands. "My aren't you beautiful. Come here, let me pat you."

"Harry, get away from it," Sirius hissed warningly. "It's dangerous."

"Sirius," Harry whined. "He's not dangerous. Look how cute he is."

"It's a fucking Nundu, Harry," Sirius growled. "Nundus aren't fucking cute."

"Please, Sirius, please," Harry begged. "He is cute to me. He won't hurt me. Trust me."

"Harry," the veela started, freezing as the large cat carefully got up from his crouched position and brushed against Harry's legs, purring contently as Harry began to pat his head.

"See? He's not dangerous. No animal would hurt me. Besides he's still Severus."

As Sirius didn't immediately protest, Harry sat back down on the floor, cooing and cuddling with the large beast that was noticeably enjoying himself.

"That's quite enough now," Sirius finally said, staring pointedly at the Nundu. "Ten minutes are over."

Severus rolled his eyes, lazily got up and transformed back. "It worked and I was right."

"What a surprise," Harry mocked. "You make a cute Nundu."

"You use that word much too frequently," Severus teased him.

"Not true." Harry pouted.

"If I remember correctly you called Degenhardt cute the other day."

"She looks like some kind of cute alien," Harry protested. "And you agreed."

"Only to make you shut up," Severus defended himself. "You are even worse when you try to make me see your point."

"You are mean," Harry whined before he grinned impishly. "I know who you think is cute."

"And you better keep that assumption to yourself," Severus told him sharply.

"I know, don't worry." Harry sighed. "Want to come with us?"

"Of course, I always wanted to be blinded by an indubitably very red common room just to see a lot of morons despair with their homework," Severus retorted. "How do you always know what I'm dreaming of at night?"

"Suit yourself." Harry shrugged, clasping a hand over Sirius' mouth and gently pushing him out of the door. "Bye."

"Bye, Harry." Severus waved him off.

* * *

_Cookies make authors happy. But reviews have the same effect..._


	13. Necessary Changes

_Disclaimer: See first chapter._

_Author's Note: Yay, it's working again. Hope you'll like this chapter._

_Beta: TheElementalMaster, thank you for all your help and for telling me that ffnet is working again._

* * *

**13. NECESSARY CHANGES**

It was the Tuesday after the Hogsmeade weekend and Harry still caught himself, more often than not, foolishly staring out into space with a dreamy grin on his face. Not only had Sirius brought him to Hogsmeade and had shown him everything he wanted to see, had done everything Harry wanted him to do and had bought everything Harry wanted to have, he had also given Harry the feeling of being his absolute number one and the warm and protected sensation hadn't left.

On top of everything else, Sirius had also been civil to Severus and Remus when they had met them in the Three Broomsticks and hadn't reproached Remus at all for going out with his most hated rival.

It actually seemed like Sirius was happy that Severus was together with Remus, if only because that kept him away from Harry. He hadn't protested either, when Remus had brought Severus with him to the Gryffindor common room, though the same couldn't be said about the future Potion's Master, who looked decidedly uncomfortable sitting next to Remus on a scarlet red loveseat, glaring and scowling. However, he still remained.

James had only shrugged his shoulders and had then returned to kissing Lily when Remus had nervously introduced Severus as his boyfriend. Lily, however, had smiled encouragingly at them before going back to being kissed by the eager elf.

Peter seemed to be the only one who had a problem with it, throwing disgusted looks at the couple whenever they did something to draw his attention before he turned the same look back on Harry. The chubby boy hadn't come around to the fact that Harry was Sirius' mate and that Sirius very much enjoyed showing off with that. And though Sirius was content enough with the mumbled acceptance of his apology for his potion-influenced revelation, Peter certainly hadn't forgiven him, let alone forgotten.

Harry couldn't completely suppress a shiver as he felt those burning eyes on him again, which attracted Sirius' attention immediately. "Are you cold, Harry?"

Sirius didn't notice or didn't want to notice that Peter was not at all okay with them and Harry didn't want the other boy to be even more estranged from their little group. He could understand that it was not easy for Peter with everyone else from their sworn group together with someone else. He also understood very well that Peter had been hurt by Sirius' words, but he wished that the other boy would see that it was neither Sirius' nor Harry's fault.

"Just a bit, I'm fine," Harry murmured, snuggling a little closer to the veela. "Will you help me with Transfiguration?"

"Sure, what did you have problems with?" Sirius asked.

"My parrot had the consistency of rubber." Harry pouted, remembering the transfigured goblet bouncing around the room while giving shrill screams.

"Oh, yes, that was funny!" Sirius sniggered, earning himself a glare from angry green eyes. "Maybe if you do the wand movement a bit slower?" He gulped.

Harry was still glaring at him and that meant that Sirius had to work fast to fix his mistake before Harry decided that he needed a bit of time for himself. He grabbed one of the decorative goblets from the mantelpiece and handed it to Harry with an apologetic smile, hoping that his advice would work.

Harry did the wand movement a lot slower than normally and muttered the incantation under his breath before tapping the goblet. The resulting parrot was perhaps a bit on the small side, but to make up for that, it had magnificent feathers and no rubber consistency.

"Oh, thank you, Sirius." Harry laughed, patting the parrot, which mimicked his words.

"No problem. Am I forgiven for my comment? Because I would appreciate it if you helped me with that charm we did in Defence today," Sirius pleaded, knowing that Harry loved to help others and that it made him happy. "You were the only one who managed it." A bit of flattery never did any harm, either.

As he had expected, Harry blushed, but agreed, starting to explain the complicated Shielding Charm to Sirius.

"Wait, Harry," Severus spoke up. "Explain it to Remus and me, too, and I'll help you with Potions later."

Harry grinned, motioned them a bit closer and started explaining again, demonstrating for them to see what he meant. It took them more than an hour to get the charm right and Sirius had to admit that Harry's was still far better.

"It took me three months to get it like this." Harry shrugged to Severus' question. "Help me with Potions now?"

"Sure," Severus agreed. "But I won't do your homework."

"I'm not asking you to," Harry protested. "I just have a few questions."

"Then ask away."

Sirius was struck by the thought of how much like a study group they were as Lily and James interrupted their snogging to listen to Snape's explanations and ask questions of their own, which the Slytherin answered rather civilly and with surprising patience and lack of arrogance.

"Lily," James asked in what he hoped was a seductive tone. "Would you help me with Charms?"

"But of course, James," Lily said, sweeter-than-honey. "I'll just get my book."

"I would almost say that backfired," Sirius teased him as James stared after his girlfriend. "Maybe you should look for another mate."

"Are you offering yours?" James asked testily and Harry tensed. "Though, I'm afraid I like skirts too much."

"Harry should wear a skirt tomorrow then." Sirius laughed. "So that you can compare."

"That would be indeed great." James' glum face broke into a happy grin and then he dutifully turned to Lily as she entered with her book and allowed her to explain the last lesson to him, though it really wasn't necessary.

Only Severus noticed that Harry was more subdued after that and hardly talked anymore, only responding half-heartedly to Sirius' kisses.

*_*_*

"Harry, are you cold or something?" Sirius asked as Harry sat huddled in his chair, his robes wrapped tightly around himself, waiting for their Charms lesson to begin.

"No." Harry shook his head, but only tightened his arms around his torso.

"Then take off your robe." Sirius rolled his eyes. "It's bloody hot in here. The class before us must have practised Warming Charms."

The small boy very reluctantly stood from his chair and loosened his arms before shrugging out of his robes. Sirius gasped, staring at the slender, pale legs of his mate. Slowly his gaze wandered up to the skirt that brushed over Harry's thighs, giving a tantalising view on smooth skin.

"Harry, why...?" he finally tore his eyes away from Harry's legs, noting at last the angry tears that were rolling down his cheeks.

Someone whistled appreciatively and the classroom was soon filled with hoots and laughter, which made Harry's tears come even faster.

Sirius was much too shocked himself to glare at them and did the only thing that seemed sensible at the time: Take Harry and hide him away so that no one would get any wrong ideas. Also, he needed to find out why Harry was wearing a girl's uniform. So he quickly picked up Harry's discarded robe and wrapped him tightly in it, before carrying him out of the classroom and past a surprised Flitwick, trusting James to explain everything and hoping that Harry would explain it to him.

"Harry, look at me." Sirius carefully sat Harry down on one of the windowsills near the classroom, grateful that classes had already started and that they would be relatively undisturbed. "Good, now please, explain this to me. Why are you wearing a skirt?"

"Because you told me to." Harry whispered, pulling his legs to his chest and involuntarily exposing a part of the skirt and his legs once more.

"Harry, no, I didn't. Why would I order you to wear a skirt?" Sirius asked in confusion.

"Yes, you did, yesterday. You said that I should wear a skirt so that James can compare Lily to me." Harry sobbed and Sirius paled.

"Merlin, Harry, we were joking around, I didn't mean it. I thought you knew..."

"No, I didn't," the elf said softly. "How was I to know that you wouldn't force me to wear a dress if you were already offering me around?"

"I wasn't offering you to anyone," Sirius protested vehemently. "You're my mate. I don't even want to share you, let alone give you to someone else."

"Well, it felt like it," Harry muttered.

"I'm sorry, Harry." Sirius sighed. "I didn't think anything when I said that. As good as you look in that skirt, I would never humiliate you like this and I really think that none of them had a right to see this."

Harry sniffed once more before resolutely brushing his tears away. "I thought you wanted to get rid of me."

"No, Harry, never think that." The older boy gently wrapped his arms around Harry's slim waist. "You should have told me that you didn't feel comfortable with this, then we would have found out about the misunderstanding much sooner."

"I wanted to," Harry replied softly. "But then you said I should sleep and I didn't want to make you angry by disobeying you. It's not my fault."

"I sometimes forget how special you are," Sirius admitted sheepishly. "I never mean to give you orders, but it comes out like one and then you have to do it, though it was only supposed to be a joke or a suggestion."

"It's no wonder there aren't many elves," Harry mumbled morosely. "It's annoying and absolutely uneconomic and goes against every instinct of self-preservation to be so dependent and weak."

"You know, I don't think you are weak for obeying me," Sirius murmured, rearranging their positions so that he also sat on the broad windowsill with Harry in his lap. "It's a strength of another kind. Remus is right; you're a very strong person to have got this far and for not taking the easy way out. I admire you for that, especially how you handle the whole Remus-situation, but also how you stay so warm and caring after all the times I fucked up already and hurt you.

"I don't think I can ever fathom with how much fear and pain you cope, much less how you can still care about others. I haven't once seen you shout or lash out at someone and I'm sure I would have done so much earlier. It might be true that you can't get angry at dominants, but there are a lot of human submissives out there and I know that you're helping a lot of people with their homework or with whatever they need, just because it feels right to you to help.

"I don't know if all submissive elves have this inner strength, but I think that there's a reason why so many creature genes stay dormant. They wait until someone is strong enough to bear it. That's why you are an elf, Harry, that's why you are my mate. I wouldn't settle for a weakling or someone without brain or heart."

"Do you want to know why I never stay angry at you too long?" Harry smiled slowly at him. "Because every time you've done something absolutely foolish and inconsiderate you make a speech like this and you make me feel all special and happy and good. I don't think I could hate you even if I was normal."

"How flattering!" Sirius laughed. "But I will still try to better myself. It might get a bit boring for you if I have to repeat myself after a while. Why don't you get dressed in your normal uniform again, hmm?"

"Thank you." Harry sighed in relief before jumping up and running to the Gryffindor Tower before Sirius could offer his help.

But Sirius swore to himself that he would make up for this in some way, a plan already forming in his mind. Nothing made you feel better than a bit of revenge.

*_*_*

The next morning Sirius was up before anyone else, which had to be a first. When Harry woke he found the bed empty and there was no trace of the veela in the bathroom. He shrugged, assuming that Sirius was giving one of the Marauders' infamous pranks the finishing touches, and went to take a shower. After that, he waited for James and the others to wake up so that he wouldn't have to walk alone down to the Great Hall, something that still made him feel nervous.

As they entered the Great Hall, however, it was filled with a lot of giggling and whispering girls, whose eyes curiously enough seemed to be focused on the Gryffindor table, and also with several laughing and hollering boys, who - provided that they weren't rolling around on the floor - were also staring at that table.

"What's the matter, Padfoot?" James asked plopping down in the chair opposite of his best friend, looking up and down the table to find the source of such amusement. "Pulled a prank without telling me?"

"You could say so," Sirius said vaguely, motioning for Harry to take a seat in his lap.

Harry obediently sat down, gasping and jumping up almost immediately, staring down at the grey-eyed boy. "What are you wearing?!"

"Just a bit of compensation." Sirius shrugged with a grin. "I thought it would teach me to keep my big mouth shut from time to time. How do I look?" He jumped up as well, twirling around so that the rather skimpy looking skirt swished around him, revealing his muscular and tanned thighs that were surely the object of a lot of swooning.

James, after a second of shocked staring, burst out laughing, fell from his chair and doubled over with laughter, holding his sides. Peter snickered quietly, trying to produce an a more manly laugh, as Remus looked Sirius up and down, shook his head slowly and turned back to his breakfast and his book. Lily seemed strangely satisfied, though she shook her head as if saying how silly she thought Sirius was behaving.

Harry just stared at him, thinking that Sirius had absolutely lost it even before the veela started to sing "I feel pretty" and danced around the table, acting like a complete lunatic.

"That's for yesterday." Sirius laughed, dropping back into his chair and once again pulled Harry onto his lap. "I don't know what you were complaining about, Harry, this skirt feels rather good and I like the fresh breeze around my legs."

"You're scary." Harry stared at him, wide-eyed.

"And I'm pretty," Sirius declared, sticking out his tongue at him. "You're only jealous."

"Also known as scared, yes," Harry murmured. "Tell me this is only temporary, please."

"Only for today," Sirius assured him, but the clearing of a throat behind him disabused him of this notion quickly. "I think you are misinformed, Mr. Black, you will change now before I decide that a detention would also be in order."

McGonagall glared at him, her mouth set into a firm line that didn't soften any when he smiled charmingly at her, curtsied and danced out of the Great Hall, humming very loudly.

Harry buried his head between his arms and groaned, barely hearing as Lily inquired if he was okay or noticing when James dragged him to his first class that was thankfully without Sirius. After that, however, he wasn't so lucky anymore and every time he looked at the older boy, Sirius did something to bring a blush to his cheeks.

When classes were finally over Sirius made sure that Harry sat in his lap or at least near him, so that he could whisper naughty and all too embarrassing things into Harry's ear, nibble on his ears and neck, kiss the soft lips and caress along the smaller boy's body.

"You're beautiful," Sirius murmured. "Delicious. I can't get you out of my mind. Especially in that skirt."

Harry had lost ground a long time ago, after Sirius' first kiss at the latest, and he wondered vaguely if Sirius was manipulating him now; not that he cared. "'M not a girl."

"Certainly not," the veela replied, kissing Harry's nose. "I think I only liked that skirt so much because they revealed more of you than those jeans. Can I have a picture of your legs?"

"Uh, no?" Harry asked uncertainly, self-consciously pulling his legs up to his chest.

Sirius pouted, but then took advantage of the fact that Harry's legs were now closer to him and gently traced the perfectly curved calves, slipping his hands up under the hem of Harry's jeans.

"Sirius! We're in the middle of the common room!" Harry squeaked, wildly looking around the rather deserted room.

"No one's looking, gorgeous," Sirius murmured before lowering his mouth to Harry's neck to suckle lightly.

Harry moaned, clutching Sirius' arms. "Sirius ..."

"Shh, my sweet. Just enjoy it, I'll take care of you," the veela murmured against Harry's neck, placing butterfly kisses on the flushed skin.

Harry whimpered, happily pressing against Sirius' strong body and heeding his command to just drown in the blissful sensations Sirius' touch invoked in him.

Someone cleared their throat. "I don't mean to interrupt, but firstly this is not exactly suitable for young eyes and secondly, I didn't hear Harry give his consent, Sirius."

Sirius drew back reluctantly while James asked his girlfriend if her intervention had really been necessary.

Lily glared at him. "Of course, it was, James! Harry should have the opportunity to choose if he's ready for this kind of intimacy or if he'd rather wait. And Sirius was losing control."

"Was not," Sirius mumbled defiantly, shrinking slightly under Lily's furious glare.

"Even if you weren't, Harry doesn't look as if he's particularly in control," Lily retorted.

"I never am in control," Harry said bitterly, surprised when Lily's whole demeanour softened.

"But you should be, and Sirius shouldn't take advantage of you, as long as you can't quite say 'no' yourself. Don't you think, Sirius, that you made enough mistakes with Harry already?"

"I didn't mean to," Sirius protested guiltily. "And I always made up for it."

"Oh, and you think making a fool of yourself on a regular basis, which you would have done anyway, will make Harry feel better?" Lily asked, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her foot impatiently when Sirius didn't find an answer quickly enough. "Merlin, could you be anymore thick-headed? You really think that an apology values anything, when you do the same exact thing moments later?!"

"I don't, do I, Harry? I'm making progress, right?" Sirius pleaded with his mate, who felt the familiar fear built up at him as his human side wanted to give another answer than Sirius clearly expected from him.

"I... sometimes, you aren't very considerate," he whispered, cringing away from the veela. "I'm sorry."

"Sirius should be sorry, not you," Lily stated simply. "How about if James takes you for a little walk while I give Sirius private coaching as to how to treat you right? James?"

"Let's go, Harry, we could walk around the lake. I think I saw a nest of Snicklers the other day," James offered, seeming eager to leave before his girlfriend started her tirade.

"It's okay, Harry," Sirius murmured. "Go with James."

"And again an order," Lily declared disapprovingly. "I think what you wanted to say was that if Harry wishes to join James for his walk, he should do so."

"Yeah," Sirius muttered. "Exactly. I'm sorry, Harry."

"It's fine," Harry answered, hugging the veela tightly. "Please, don't change completely because I like you like this."

Sirius' face brightened considerably at that and he brushed a chaste kiss over Harry's lips. "But maybe if I change at least a little, you'll learn to love me."

He didn't wait for Harry's answer, instead pushing the submissive carefully in the direction of his best friend. "I'll look after your mate, so you'll better look after mine."

"I think you'll be the one looked after." James chuckled, putting one hand on Harry's shoulder to lead him out of the common room; Sirius glared after them. "Don't worry, Harry, she won't hurt Sirius, only scream at him a little, and that's sometimes the only way to make him understand."

"You think so?" Harry asked timidly.

"I know I'm not one to speak, but Sirius needs to grow up," James replied. "Lily can very well speak for herself, and Merlin knows, she does that in abundance, but you can't, so Sirius will have to learn to take responsibility and think about his words and actions."

"I like him," Harry mumbled. "I liked what he was doing."

"I don't doubt that, but would you still have liked it if Sirius had gone further?"

"I might have," Harry argued, burying his chin in the collar of his robes when they stepped outside. "And Sirius would have stopped if I had asked him to."

"Of course, he would have, but what if you hadn't been able to tell him that you wanted him to stop?" James asked, putting an arm around Harry's shoulders. "That's why Lily's talking to him now, so that that won't happen."

"I guess," Harry murmured. "So what are Snicklers?"

James grinned, leading Harry to a large bush. He pointed at a twisted nest somewhere in the middle over the rim of which two feathery heads with overproportionally big beaks peeped at them, twittering and snickering in greeting.

"Those are Snicklers," James explained happily. "And I guess, their name is kind of self-explaining, isn't it?"

"They're so cute." Harry stared at them in fascination, grinning when they snickered again. "Look, there's another one." A third head had popped out between the other two.

They spent almost half an hour, just looking at the Snicklers and sometimes imitating their twittering, before they returned to the castle, the common room, a very pensive Sirius and a satisfied Lily.

"Would you like to sit with me, Harry?" Sirius asked softly, smiling when Harry happily dropped in his lap. "And would you mind if I put my arms around your waist?"

Harry shook his head, snuggling into the veela when he was carefully enclosed in strong arms. "Despite what Lily might have said, Siri, you don't need to treat me as if I was made of glass."

Sirius looked at him in surprise. "I'm not trying to treat you like a china doll, but like my very precious mate. Don't you want that?"

"Yes, but if you always ask me, I'll always be reminded that otherwise I would have no choice, won't I?" Harry asked softly. "I appreciate it, and I like to have a choice. Just don't overdo it, please?"

"So maybe we should set some ground rules?" Sirius suggested after a short pause.

"I want you to hold me." Harry blushed. "And kiss me. And I like to fall asleep and wake in your arms."

"I like all that as well," Sirius offered with a small smile and a gentle kiss. "I also like to caress and pat you. Would that be okay?"

"As long as you leave my clothes in place," Harry added cautiously, relieved when Sirius immediately agreed. "And I like your compliments, but I like them better when they refer to my character and not to my appearance."

"Okay, Harry." Sirius chuckled. "That won't be a problem, I'll do so gladly. May I ask something of you as well?"

"Of course." Harry nodded vigorously. "The same right for everyone, no?"

"Yes, exactly," Sirius replied decisively. "I wanted to ask you to not manipulate Malfoy or James anymore because if you do, I'll become jealous and the desire to bond with you will be almost too much to handle."

"Oh," Harry murmured. "But I'm still allowed to manipulate you, am I not?"

"Of course," Sirius assured him. "As long as you know what you're manipulating me for. Harry, I don't want to take that power away from you, but I just don't have enough control over myself."

Harry nodded before putting his head back on Sirius' shoulder. "Okay, I'm happy with that."

"Good, and if there's something else we'll clarify that on a case to case basis, alright?" Sirius asked, caressing the palm of Harry's hand. "And how about we implement those rules now? Would you like that?"

"Very much so." Harry grinned before melting into Sirius' kiss.

* * *

_Press the button! Press the button! Press the button!_


	14. Loveable

_Disclaimer: See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: I'm very sorry about the long wait, but I had to write a term paper and so I didn't have the motivation or time to work on this sotry. Also, this chapter is **unbetaed** since I don't feel like nagging my beta about it. Hope there aren't too many mistakes. If you spot one, let me know..._

* * *

**14. LOVEABLE**

Harry had never thought that a more considerate Sirius could be the cause of his frustration, but one week after Lily's lecture and their discussion, Harry was getting siriously annoyed and desperately wished his old Sirius back. The Sirius that was spontaneous and childish and jealous and passionate. Not this shadow.

Sirius had become overly cautious, keeping strictly to the rules they had set and shredding Harry's nerves with timid questions and insistent hesitation in all other cases. And at the same time, it wasn't as if Sirius didn't want more, Harry was pretty sure of that, but whenever Sirius' control threatened to slip, he would excuse himself and disappear for hours on end.

Once again, Sirius had come closer to his old self, his kisses and words becoming more audacious, but now it looked like the veela was getting ready to excuse himself.

"That's enough, Sirius," Harry said sternly, grasping Sirius' hand and tugging him up from his seat. "Come with me?"

"Sure. What are you going to do to me?" Sirius asked curiously.

"Something to get you back to normal," Harry grumbled, but relaxed slightly when Sirius' face split into a huge grin at that.

"What have you planned, Harry?" the veela asked as Harry led him out of the common room and away from the Fat Lady.

"I plan on seducing you," Harry said earnestly. "So don't you laugh at me. I know how frustrated you are and I certainly know how much you frustrate me. But if you laugh at me I'll make you even more frustrated."

"Okay, then." Sirius smirked, allowing Harry to guide him into an unused classroom.

"Sit down... ehm, please?" Harry ordered, but then was told by his elf side that he really shouldn't give Sirius orders; he pulled a black cloth from his robe pocket and wrapped it over Sirius' eyes. "It's a surprise."

"Ah," Sirius answered, standing up once more at Harry's beck and trustingly followed the tug of Harry's hand.

They walked in silence for about ten minutes before Harry quietly opened a door and led Sirius in. The grey-eyed man blinked rapidly as Harry loosened the blindfold to make his eyes adjust faster to the new environment. It smelled vaguely like cinnamon and something that was just uniquely Harry, though that might have to do with the fact that Harry was standing right in front of him, looking very nervous. The room was held in blues and dark wood with a soft white bedspread. There was a bed. A huge four-poster bed that was softly illuminated by the single candle that stood on the bedside drawer.

He was caught by surprise when Harry slowly started to unbutton his shirt, kissing every patch of revealed skin.

"Harry." Sirius groaned, trying to keep at least a semblance of control. "Harry, stop, please."

Harry stepped back, lowering his head. "I'm sorry, I thought you wanted this."

"I do," Sirius said gently. "But you don't, do you? I know that you want to please me and I really appreciate it, but I love you too much to be selfish about something like this. I learned that much at least."

"I know how frustrated you are," Harry murmured. "I don't understand what you like so much about sex, but I want you to be happy. And you agreed that I could seduce you."

"But I can't be happy if you only do this because of me," Sirius argued gently. "I promise, I will show you one day what I like so much about sex, but not before you want it as much as I. I'll be happy to let you seduce me, but maybe we should keep to kisses for now." He tried to kiss Harry, but the younger boy drew back.

"I knew you would think this ridiculous," Harry said with hurt in his voice, brushing past him. "I want to be alone, if you don't mind. I'm sorry."

Sirius sighed and sat down on the bed as Harry softly closed the door behind him, leaving only a faint memory of a scent behind. He knew that he was involuntarily putting a lot of pressure on Harry, that every night when he spooned around Harry and caressed the pale skin under his hands Harry felt like he was disappointing him. He wished he had enough control to stop before Harry noticed that he wanted so much more. And he wished that his veela side would be quiet for once and allow him to give Harry more time and not urge him to bond with Harry as soon as possible.

*_*_*

Harry was running and he was crying. Why didn't Sirius want him? Why if he loved him like he said, wouldn't he make Harry his? Why couldn't Harry just tell him that he wanted this, that he needed this?

Because it wasn't true: Harry didn't want this, the elf wanted this. The elf was hurt, Harry was relieved. He was seventeen, he was too young to be bonded to anyone. He had to defeat Voldemort and he didn't belong here.

He kept running till he reached the little clearing Lucius had shown him in his time. His vision blurred with tears, he sank down on the ground and sobbed even harder.

"Can't you leave me alone for once?" a harsh voice startled him out of his misery. "I don't want you here. This is my place. Mine. Do you understand that concept? It means that you are not welcome here. Leave me the hell alone!"

Harry scrambled to his feet, looking up into Lucius' furious face and then turned around to flee once more, fear taking over his earlier misery. Fear and pain. Not even Lucius could stand him anymore, he was just a nuisance, no one wanted him.

Lucius came back to his senses as those frightened green eyes looked up at him and he brushed his hand over his face, groaning. He had royally fucked up! He hadn't meant to shout at Harry like that. But he had retreated to this clearing so that for once he wouldn't have to be responsible for Narcissa or Harry. He loved Narcissa to death and he really cared about Harry, but sometimes he wanted to be just another eighteen-year-old boy and not their dominant. Narcissa had been inexplicably jealous because of something he said or did and even after he had calmed her down, she still wouldn't tell him why. That was the reason why he had come here.

He sighed and quickly made his way back to the castle, his obligation to be the perfect dominant once again catching up with him. Being a Malfoy meant that he had to maintain certain standards; it meant that he couldn't be just another normal teenager; it meant that his own problems did not exist because Malfoys did not have problems, they were in control always and without exception. If only that were true.

He hasted up to the castle, trying desperately to sense Harry and hoping against hope that he would find Harry before the little elf could hurt himself. It had started hailing big icy rocks by the time he reached the castle and he was afraid that Harry would not have gone inside, might even be responsible for the sudden change of weather. He needed to find the submissive and apologise, but all his attempts of sensing for Harry failed. He would need help to find him.

With quick steps, he made his way up to the Gryffindor common room and finally knocked imperiously on the door and then brushed past the student who opened the portrait.

"Look, Black save your insults for later," Lucius interrupted the other boy before he could open his mouth. "We need to find Harry, now!"

"What have you done?" Sirius asked, worried, getting up from where he had sat slumped on the sofa, brooding over what he could do to make Harry understand.

"Harry surprised me and I shouted at him to leave me alone," Lucius admitted. "He might have taken that the wrong way. Now, find him!"

"James! We have to find Harry," Sirius shouted through the common room.

"I'm coming, too," Severus said, getting up as well, after kissing Remus softly on the cheek.

Sirius growled impatiently and pushed past Lucius. "Where have you seen him last?"

"In the Forbidden Forest, but he ran into the direction of the castle," Lucius answered curtly. "I tried to sense him, but I couldn't find him. You should be able to, though."

Sirius sighed, closing his eyes and trying to catch that delicious scent, that little vibration of absolute submission, helplessness and the barest hint of defiance.

"I think he's outside," he suddenly declared, dashing in the direction of his mate.

The others followed him and only James and Severus had enough mind to perform a Water-and-Weather-Repelling charm as they stepped out of the safety of the castle. The lake was storm-beaten and the Whomping Willow swished its branches menacingly as hailstones crackled down on the ground like gun shots-

Harry was curled up against the castle wall, his head buried between his updrawn knees, hardly protected from the weather by the wall.

"Harry," Sirius said urgently but gently, reaching out to touch him.

"Leave me alone." Harry sobbed. "I don't want to be a burden."

"Harry, you aren't a burden," Sirius returned. "Let me get you inside. You'll be hurt."

"I don't want to." Harry sniffed, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes. "I don't want to, Sirius, please, please, just leave me alone."

Harry stood up, seeming somehow taller and smaller at the same time and slowly walked out into the storm, not wincing as the hailstones hit him.

Sirius made a hesitant step forward before he quickly caught up with his mate and lifted him in his arms, forcing his wings through his skin to wrap protectively around Harry. "I can't, Harry, not before we have talked about this."

The small elf went limp in his arms as if all the life had drained from his body. He quickly brought them back into the castle, letting Harry down in one of the unused classrooms and closing the door on the other boys so that they would have some privacy.

"Now, tell me why you think you're a burden," he said gently, stepping back to give Harry some space.

"Because you don't want me, no one wants me, no one ever wanted me," Harry said hollowly. "And you have to put up with me."

"I want you, Harry," Sirius said, but Harry turned his head away. "I love you."

"No, you don't," Harry said quietly. "I should have died out there then everyone could be happy."

"I wouldn't be happy if you weren't there, Harry," Sirius admonished him softly. "I can't live without you."

"Liar."

"No, Harry, I'm not. I didn't stop you earlier because I didn't want to bond with you, I do. But you don't have your creature senses that draw you towards me, you don't love me - not yet at least. I hope that you will one day, but even if you never fall in love with me, I'll be there and I'll wait. I don't want my veela side to force you into anything because even my human side loves you."

"Really?" Harry whispered, looking up hopefully. "You don't only love me because you have to?"

"Is that what has you feeling so bad?" Sirius asked softly. "I love you with everything I have, Harry. I don't have too many veela senses, the reason why I was able to deny my feelings for you for so long."

"But then why are you so jealous when I talk with Severus?" Harry asked in confusion.

"I'm afraid that's all me," Sirius murmured sheepishly. "I'm a veela, that's right, but it's not only my veela that loves you. **I** love you, Harry. I love how you smell, I love your laugh and the way your eyes sparkle when you do it, I love how you eat and the way you feel against me, I love to kiss you and to run my fingers through your hair, I love how you can calm any animal down, I love your wings, I love your voice and I love to watch you study because you always scrunch up your nose in that cute way and then you worry your bottom lip, I love to have you in my arms. I just love you, Harry."

"And if I never learn to love you?" Harry asked uncertainly. "What if I never give you as much love as you give me?"

"Then I'll just have to deal, won't I?" Sirius replied as calmly as possible. "My love for you isn't optional, Harry. I can't turn it off and on at a whim and it's not tied to certain conditions. I want you to love me, but more than that I want you to be happy." He took a deep breath. "If you want to find another dominant, I'd... it would break my heart, but..." He broke off, turning his face away so that Harry wouldn't see his tears.

He was surprised when slender arms wrapped around his neck and a cold, wet nose was pressed into his neck. "I don't want another dominant," Harry promised, his whole body aching with Sirius' pain. "I want you and I want to learn how to love you. I'm just not sure I can."

Sirius turned carefully in the awkward embrace, pulling Harry's delicate body against his own even though their wet clothes stuck uncomfortably to their skin. "Let us find out together, shall we?" Sirius murmured. "Maybe I'm lovable after all."

Harry's green eyes were wide and frightened as he looked at the veela. "What do you mean? Of course, you're lovable!"

"Am I?" Sirius said very softly. "Then how come my family despises me? How come that I never had a relationship that lasted more than a week? How come you don't love me?"

"My family doesn't like me either," Harry mumbled. "And I never had any relationship and before you I was kissed by one person, no, two, and both were trying to forget someone with that kiss. Does that make me unlovable? Because then we are very well matched."

"That's not what I meant," Sirius protested.

"But that's how it sounded," Harry replied. "I don't want to be unlovable, Siri."

Sirius' breath hitched and he pulled Harry even closer. "You're not, Merlin knows, you're not."

"Then you aren't, either?" Harry demanded, smiling brilliantly when Sirius hesitantly shook his head. "Good, because then I would have a very hard time with you as my mate, wouldn't I?"

Sirius chuckled softly. "You really do like manipulating me, don't you?"

Harry nodded timidly, peering up at the veela. "You don't mind?"

"No, but I do mind that you kissed two people," Sirius grumbled, half as a joke and half in all seriousness. "Are they any competition?"

"No," Harry said immediately, wondering if it wouldn't be best to tell Sirius now about the kiss with Severus. "You're kisses are much better and I won't kiss anyone else ever again, I promise. Don't be angry, please."

Sirius blinked in surprise. "I have no right to be angry. You didn't even know me then. It would be different if you kissed someone now, but I know you wouldn't do that. You told me to trust you and I do."

"Oh." Harry lowered his eyes, feeling absolutely miserable, but though he really believed that Sirius deserved to know, his courage failed him at the thought of Sirius' wrath. It hadn't meant anything, nothing romantic at least and Severus wouldn't tell. Sirius would never have to find out and it would be as if nothing had happened. Right?

"Harry? Harry? Are you alright? You spaced off there for a moment." Sirius shook him carefully.

"I'm sorry, I was just... thinking," Harry whispered, moving into Sirius' arms. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I imagine you were thinking about my kisses, weren't you?" Sirius laughed, but only got a weak smile in return, which worried him. "Harry, what's wrong? If something is bothering you, you have to tell me so that I can help you. Or am I the problem?"

"No!" Harry exclaimed before biting his bottom lip in thought.

"Harry?"

"You'll be angry and you'd have every right to be," Harry whispered miserably.

"Why would I be angry?" Sirius asked carefully. "You have nothing to be afraid of, I promise."

"I know you'll be angry," Harry murmured stubbornly. "You just said that you would."

"What? No, I didn't, I just told you..." Sirius trailed off, his eyes widening and then darkening into a storm. "You were kissed by someone! When we already were together! Is that it, Harry?" His voice got louder with every word and his hands kept Harry from cowering away.

"I'm sorry," Harry whimpered.

"Who was it?" Sirius demanded, shaking Harry, whose whimpers grew louder. "I'll kill them! I'll fucking kill them for forcing you."

"I wasn't forced." Harry's head snapped up, even though he didn't quite dare to meet Sirius eyes. "I kissed back."

"But... But you're my mate, you're my Harry. You wouldn't do that to me. No!" Sirius' voice had changed from anger to anguished despair and somehow this was so much worse for Harry to bear. "You wouldn't. I know you. Tell me that it's not true. Tell me!"

Harry's teeth drew blood as he bit through his lip because he wouldn't start lying to Sirius as well. What he had done was bad enough. "I'm sorry."

Sirius slumped to the floor in defeat, his arms leaving Harry. "Why? What did I do wrong? Why?"

Harry slipped to the floor as well, drawing his legs up to his chest. "I... It was a kiss good-bye," Harry started softly. "I didn't initiate it, but I didn't stop it, either, because I owed him that much and because in a way it felt good." Sirius winced and Harry was quick to continue, "Not good like your kisses, your kisses are perfect, but good because I wasn't cowering away, because I wasn't afraid, because there was no act of nature that demanded that kiss."

"And I'm scaring you? You only kiss me because you're a submissive and I'm a dominant?" Sirius demanded weakly. "Am I forcing you? Don't you like my kisses?"

"No, I like them very much, Siri," Harry murmured, carefully approaching the veela, relieved when he wasn't pushed away. "They make me forget about my problems, as if I was flying, but I just wanted to know if other kisses could do that for me too. I'm sorry. Please, forgive me."

Sirius took a shuddery breath, but then allowed Harry to crawl into his lap. "Do... do you have feelings for..."

"No, not like this, no romantic feelings at all, I promise," Harry replied. "And it won't ever happen again, but if you... if you don't want me anymore or want to rant at me or... just please, don't be so sad. I can't take that. Please, I didn't mean to. Please."

"Shh, you know that I would never not want you anymore," Sirius murmured, gathering Harry to his chest with a sigh.

"Please, stop being sad," Harry pleaded. "Please. I'll make it up to you. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know that, Harry," Sirius murmured. "I don't blame you, but it still hurts."

"I think I'd rather you were angry at me," Harry whispered, his hands shaking as he cupped the veela's cheek. "Siri, I love your kisses, only your kisses. And I just learned that I can't stand you being sad. Tell me what to do to make you feel better."

"Never again?" Sirius asked softly and Harry nodded vigorously. "Then let's not talk about it anymore."

"Are you sure?" Harry asked uncertainly.

"Yes, I'll get over it, though a few kisses might help." Sirius' grin was slightly strained, but Harry only too gladly accepted the lifeline Sirius had thrown him and timidly touched his lips to the older boy's.

He drew back insecurely when Sirius didn't react, starting to tremble uncontrollably. "Shh, beautiful, I was just enjoying myself. Try again."

Harry complied hesitantly, but then a happy moan escaped him when Sirius responded enthusiastically and tilted Harry backwards for a better angle, still supporting Harry with both arms, his large leathery wings shielding them both. Suddenly Harry tensed, whimpering in pain and Sirius drew back in concern, his fingers gently carding through Harry's hair. When he pulled back his fingertips were slightly red.

"Merlin, Harry, why didn't you say something?" Sirius asked, forgetting completely about any and all kisses. "Let's get you to the hospital wing, alright?"

"Hmm," Harry murmured, feeling a little light-headed, but still wrapped his legs around Sirius' waist. "Nice wings."

"Thank you, Harry," Sirius said gently, folding the large leathery wings around the smaller boy.

"My head hurts."

"That's not very surprising with those hailstones attacking you," Sirius replied, pressing a kiss to Harry's forehead. "At least one hit your head."

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered in his ear. "I didn't mean to cause you trouble."

"I know that," Sirius appeased him. "Don't worry."

*_*_*

"Harry, I'm sorry I shouted at you," Lucius said as Harry lay in the hospital wing with a mild pain relief coursing through his veins and a white bandage around his head to stop the bleeding of one of the deeper wounds. "It's just... that is my clearing. I always go there when I need to be alone and it didn't really register that you were upset and that you needed my help."

"I didn't come there for your help," Harry murmured. "The man who brought me here showed me that place, he said I should go there when being an elf became too much. I didn't know you were there."

"I didn't know that, Harry." Lucius looked apologetically at him. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to say those things."

"Yes, you did," the green-eyed boy returned. "I'm sorry I angered you and that I went to that clearing."

"I had no right to shout at you, Harry." Lucius squeezed his hand. "I'll look for another place to brood. This clearing is yours alone now. Just a little compensation, but I understand if you don't want to forgive me."

"Thank you, Lucius, but I understand." Harry smiled at him. "Why do you think I go there? But please don't shout at me like that again. It scared me."

"I won't, Harry." Lucius nodded earnestly. "I care about you, okay? Never forget that. Even if I'm angry at you, I will still care about you."

"Thank you. I care about you, too."

"Do you want us to stay here?" Lucius asked, but Harry shook his head, wincing immediately. "Then I'll see you tomorrow."

"Never do something as stupid as this again," Severus muttered gruffly. "Since you so fiercely insist on possessing more than a shred of common sense, you would do well to make use of it."

"I agree, Mr. Snape." A younger Madam Pomfrey bustled into the room. "Mr. Parker needs rest now, so out with you."

"I want to stay," Sirius said, turning on his charm and giving her his best puppy-dog eyes.

He could feel Harry suppress his snickers beside him, but since his tactic was successful, he bore with it. Madam Pomfrey bustled around Harry for a moment longer after she had shooed the others out and then left for her office with the strict instructions for Harry not to leave the bed and to drink a lot.

Sirius smiled at his small mate before he carefully got into the bed.

"I got you back," Harry declared, happily snuggling up to the grey-eyed boy, who arched an eyebrow in question. "After that talk with Lily, you were... not yourself. I didn't like that."

"You didn't?" Sirius asked in shocked surprise. "But I thought this would help you to become more comfortable, show you that I'll always leave you a choice."

"I knew that before," Harry argued carefully. "But I'm still not sure if I have a choice, you know, because I'm an elf? But that is nothing you can influence and certainly not by changing who you are. I want my Sirius, not the Sirius Lily thinks I need. If there is a Sirius who I can call mine?" Harry added insecurely.

Sirius' handsome face split into a grin. "I think I know one who fits that description. Would you like it if he kept you company, Harry?"

"Yes, very much." Harry sighed in contentment, brushing a kiss over Sirius' cheek. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me," Sirius murmured, also pecking Harry's cheek. "I'm just sorry your seduction ended like this."

"I'm kind of glad," Harry murmured. "You were right, I didn't really want it. I care about you and I'm kind of curious how it would feel, but I want to be absolutely sure. I want you to be absolutely sure that you want me."

"We have enough time, Harry," Sirius answered. "As much time as you want."

Harry sighed as he felt Sirius drift off to sleep behind him. If only that was true.

* * *

_It's starts with "R" and ends with "EVIEW", now you know what you have to do! :-)_


	15. Monsters

_Disclaimer__: See first chapter!  
_

_Author's Note: Hello there. How are you doing this fine evening? Anyway, wonder over wonder, I have something of relative importance to say. I'll be in Dublin (yay!) for one week, which means that I won't be able to update for said week. I hope you'll survive without me :-)..._

_Beta: TheElementalMaster, thank you for all your help._

Warnings for this chapter: _Some lime and reference to molestation._

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_**15. MONSTERS**_

The room was dark and quiet, deathly quiet, and not even the light of the full moon that rose outside could break the sinister atmosphere of the room and sent haunting shadows over the unforgiving stone floor. The black-robed figures stood in a wide semi-circle around the imposing throne, not daring to shift or breathe too loudly, either because of respect or because of fear. The snake-like man on the throne still made a silencing gesture with his spider-like hands, his red eyes glowing with malicious anticipation.

"My followers." There was a definite hiss in his voice. "It has come to my attention that there's a very **special** student attending Hogwarts at the moment. I trust you know of him, Severus."

A tall, pale young man stepped out of the circle, bowing deeply. "I do, Milord."

"Then why is it that you haven't brought him here?" Voldemort hissed. "I heard you are very close."

"Milord, I was not aware that you desired that I do so." Severus bowed his head again.

"Enough," the Dark Lord spat. "I also heard you have thwarted several attempts of my **faithful** followers to abduct him. You will pay for that and then you will bring him to me!"

Voldemort raised his wand and the first Cruciatus hit the Slytherin. Not a gasp escaped his lips, not one single whimper, but when Voldemort had satisfied his thirst for revenge and the meeting was adjourned Severus dropped to his knees, shaking uncontrollably.

*_*_*

In Hogwarts, Harry awoke with a start, shivering and shaking almost as badly a Severus, his body aching from the echoes of the curses. He slipped out of the empty bed in Gryffindor tower, the only thought on his mind to help his friend. He barely took the time to slip on his shoes and grab his wand from the bedside table before he dashed through the empty common room and through the just as empty castle.

He couldn't feel Severus, but he could sense Lucius and he just hoped that he was helping the other Slytherin. Severus would need the help.

Lucius offered it because Severus was his friend and because the black-haired Slytherin had protected Harry. "Come on, Severus." Lucius tightened his hold on the thinner, but taller boy. "We need to get you back to the castle before they notice our absence."

Severus gave a low pain-filled hiss, but made a few more stumbling steps, his limbs twitching, before both boys froze.

"I would say," Severus gasped out, "we have a bigger problem right now."

For each step they took back, the shaggy, brown-haired werewolf took one step closer, growling and ducking close to the ground, ready to attack at any moment.

"Lucius, run," Severus whispered lowly. "We both know that I have no chance, so you might save your life at least. Run."

"I'll get help," Lucius answered before he turned around and ran as fast as possible - Slytherin was not a house of brave heroes.

The werewolf pounced and Severus had the stupid thought that at least the monster that killed him cared about him and that Harry would be safe. He closed his eyes, waiting for the long teeth to sink into his flesh. But they never came.

"Shh, be still for a moment," a soft voice said somewhere over him, "Isn't your fur fluffy? You are such a beauty, but I have to tell you that no one will like you if you're smeared in blood. See, that's a lot better, isn't it?"

"Harry," Severus gasped, opening his eyes slowly.

Harry was kneeling on the wet ground, the werewolf's head in his lap and patted it gently. A big black dog and a rather magnificent stag appeared from the darkness, standing close by, obviously just as surprised as Severus himself.

"Severus." Harry didn't turn around. "I know you are hurt, but I need you to get up and walk to the castle."

"But what about you?" Severus dared to object.

"Remus won't hurt me, but I can't calm him down for long." Harry rubbed the werewolf's ear, drawing a happy yowl from him.

Severus slowly fought back to his feet, not exactly knowing when they had given out beneath him, suppressing every sound. The werewolf lazily barred his teeth and growled at him, but when Harry took the large head between his hands and resolutely turned it in the other direction, Moony allowed it, rumbling in pleasure. The Slytherin heard the soft murmurs as he half walked, half crawled back to the castle.

"Severus!" Lucius exclaimed, landing in front of him and then wrapped one arm around Severus' waist, hefting him up. "Only a few more metres, hang on."

"I thought you had run," Severus whispered.

"I did, but then I felt Harry," Lucius explained, pushing the castle doors open. "I thought I should observe everything from the safety of the skies." He carefully lowered Severus to the floor, retracting his wings. "Do you want me to bring you to the infirmary?"

Severus shook his head, closing his eyes to slow his erratic breathing. When he opened them again, Harry was crouched next to him, brushing a bit of blood from his face. Severus didn't know where it came from, maybe he had bitten his lip or maybe his nose had started to bleed or he had hurt himself when he fell. He felt a tingling sensation, like someone was gliding a feather over his skin only from the inside and after it had passed he felt at least a little better.

"You two are so stupid," Harry said quietly. "Why did you throw your life away like this?"

"We weren't really aware that it was the full moon," Lucius lied and Harry glared at him with unusual fervour. "Not that. Voldemort. Why did you stupid idiots join fucking Voldemort? Didn't you have anything better to do? Were you bored? Or maybe you just agree with him."

"How do you...?"

"I can feel his mark on your arms," Harry hissed at them. "My old dom had it too, and he was very much in favour of handing me over to that monster. I thought you were smarter than that. I guess I was wrong. Good night."

Harry stood up swiftly and disappeared up the stairs.

"Why did he save me if he hates us so much?" Severus murmured. "He's so irrational."

"He doesn't hate us, he's just worried," Lucius replied, lost in thought. "And he's right. It was stupid to join the Dark Lord just out of expectations. He almost killed you tonight."

"Of course it was stupid." Severus sneered. "But that realisation comes a bit late now, doesn't it?"

"Yes, but maybe not too late," Lucius stated. "I will not hand Harry over to Voldemort so that he can rape and use him. I won't allow you to hand him over, either."

"I'm not going to hand him over," the black-haired boy spat indignantly.

"Then we need a plan," Lucius continued, "and we need allies."

"Oh, yes, let's recruit some Hufflepuffs," Severus drawled. "They aren't a great loss in any case."

"You will go to Dumbledore," the blond declared. "You will confess everything and offer to be his spy. I'm sure he will give you an emergency portkey or something, so that problem is solved, too."

"How nice of you to ask me," Severus snapped. "And as you are already asking, the answer is no. Are you bloody insane? I will not let that fool Dumbledore rule the rest of my fucked-up life! And who says he isn't going to hand me over to the Aurors? If I have to choose between rotting away in hell and being tortured to death by the Dark Lord, I'd still choose the shorter version. If you want to ally yourself with Dumbledore, fine, I won't stop you, but I sure as hell won't go to him and let him poison me with lemon drops."

"Are you quite finished?" Lucius asked, annoyed. "It's not me Voldemort ordered to bring Harry. I still have my father and he at least thinks that subs aren't to be hurt. That won't save Harry, but it will save me. I'm off the hook. Dumbledore needs to know about this and you need to have a way out, so we'll kill two doxies with one spell. If you spy for Dumbledore and I tell you what I know, we have a foot on both sides and that will keep us alive. If Voldemort wins, I will vouch for you and if the Light wins you will vouch for me. It's that easy."

"Says he, who doesn't change anything," Severus grumbled. "You think the Dark Lord will be angry when I don't bring him Harry? How angry do you think he will be when he finds out I'm a spy?"

"At least you'll have a way out," Lucius offered. "I know this is not ideal, but we've always stuck together, haven't we? We'll get through this now, too. For Harry."

"For Harry." Severus sighed and got up painfully to make his way up to the Headmaster's office.

At the same time as Severus knocked on the door to the Headmaster's office, receiving a cheery and not at all tired sounding, "Come in," in reply, Sirius pulled a sobbing Harry into his lap, rocking him lightly. Finally Harry's sobs quietened to sniffs and though he still clutched to the veela, he seemed to have calmed down.

"Siri?"

"Hmm, is there something I can do?" Sirius asked.

"No, I just wanted to tell you something," Harry murmured lowly. "I think I kind of realised something when you were holding me right now."

"Did I do something you didn't like?" Sirius demanded in concern, surprised when Harry shook his head wildly.

"You made me feel good and you helped me, and you came to me even though Remus is still out there." Harry glanced shyly up at the grey-eyed boy.

"Of course, I did. Remus is my friend, but I love you. Besides, James and Peter are still with Remus to keep him company. I'm sure he understands," Sirius stated.

Harry nodded. "I just... I think I love you. Is that okay with you?"

Sirius' breath hitched even as he nodded vigorously, getting a brilliant smile as a reward. "It's more than okay, Harry. You know how long I waited to hear that. Are you sure?"

"Yes," Harry replied with only a second's hesitation. "I miss you when you're not there and I feel great when you are, I want you to be happy and I don't resent being an elf quite as much when I think of you. And I think you're perfect. Aren't those signs of love?"

Sirius' response was a steamy kiss that drew a happy moan from Harry, but when the veela began to litter Harry's neck and throat with butterfly kisses, Harry promptly dropped asleep.

But even that could not ruin Sirius' elation as he gently tucked Harry into bed and then took a hot shower. Though, as he stood under the warm spray of water, the cold gradually leaving his bones, the memories of that night returned to him.

He had thought his heart had forgotten how to beat as he saw Harry jump between Snape and Moony. The werewolf's jaw had hovered for a moment over Harry's thin arm before Remus had recoiled, looking guilty or as guilty as a werewolf could look. Then Harry had done the same thing as with the Mixens and Snape, the Nundu, patting the beast as if he wasn't in any kind of danger, as if it was just a nice little lap dog or maybe a goldfish, completely harmless in any case, which was so absolutely dreadfully wrong.

But Remus had sagged in Harry's lap, yowled happily, looking for all the world like a nice little lap dog, if not exactly like a goldfish. In all the times Sirius had seen Moony, he had never seen him so peaceful and relaxed. After Harry had finally stood up, stroking Remus' fur one last time, the werewolf had laid there for about two more minutes, staring almost dreamily after the little elf until he had went back to normal, howling to the moon.

What startled Sirius the most was that Harry hadn't seemed at all afraid of Remus. Afraid for Snape perhaps, but not like usual. He would have to talk with Harry about this the next morning, also about what had made him cry like this because Snape had been saved and so Sirius didn't see what had Harry so upset.

He spooned around Harry once more, gathering the smaller body to his chest, kissing his neck softly before he surrendered to sleep. No one could say that romping around with a werewolf was not exhausting.

*_*_*

"Harry." Someone was shaking the elf's shoulder, but he really didn't feel like waking up - he was warm, he was comfortable and the pillow smelled like Sirius. "Wake up, please, we have to talk."

He knew that voice so he undoubtedly also knew the person that it belonged to and he was dragged from sleep. He drowsily blinked his eyes open, which landed on Severus, sitting on the edge of his bed, looking worn and tired and not exactly good.

As soon as that registered with his mind he threw his arms around the older boy's neck. "I'm so sorry, are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"Yes, Harry, I am okay," Severus appeased him, pushing Harry a little away from him. "You were right with what you said yesterday. It was stupid of us to join that monster."

"I was so worried about you," Harry whispered. "I thought he would kill you."

"Harry, how did you know that we were out there?" Severus asked gently.

"I... I sometimes have dreams and they're true," Harry said under his breath. "I saw that meeting yesterday and how he tortured you. I also heard why. Severus, I don't want anyone to die because of me, least of all you, so if you have to take me to him, okay."

"No, Harry, I won't sacrifice you," Severus admonished him. "Like I said we realised that you were right. I went to Dumbledore to confess everything. He gave me another chance. He also offered me the position of the Potion's professor after I got my mastery. I can start as an apprentice after graduation so that even if Voldemort found out about me, I would be absolutely safe. I think it was the right decision."

Harry had a pensive expression on his face, not exactly surprised at Severus' news. "Promise me something, Severus."

"What?"

"Promise me not to let anyone use you," Harry said softly. "Even if their intentions might be good, you deserve better than that."

"I promise, Harry," Severus answered earnestly. "Promise me the same."

"I can't, Severus." Harry lowered his head. "Not without breaking it."

"This is one of the things you can't talk about, isn't it?" the taller boy asked, sighing as Harry nodded. "I wish your life was just a little tad bit easier and I hope that whoever is using you at least cares about you."

"He does," Harry said earnestly. "He just... he is responsible for a lot of people and he wants them to be able to live in peace. I would probably do the same without him using me."

"That still doesn't make it right," Severus murmured.

"No, but there's a difference between doing what is right and what is good," Harry answered seriously before suddenly changing the subject. "You should sleep. If you want you can have my bed."

"Your bed?" Severus asked with a smirk and an arched eyebrow, chuckling when Harry blushed.

"Don't even think about it," Sirius growled, entering the room from the bathroom with only a towel around his waist. "Harry's bed is the one near the back, this is **my** bed. It's bad enough you endangered Harry like this. What were you thinking strolling around during the full moon? Remus would have never forgiven himself if he had bitten one of you."

"You are one to talk, Black. Have you already forgotten last year when you thought it amusing to almost kill me?" Severus sneered and Sirius blanched drastically.

"I learned from my mistakes, but the same can't be said about you," Sirius retorted. "I thought you cared about yourself at least, if not about Remus."

"I was looking for potions ingredients," Severus lied smoothly. "I assume you know that some have to be procured during the full moon."

"But you knew that Remus is a werewolf," Sirius snapped.

"I was under the impression he was locked safely in the Shrieking Shack. Care to explain how he got out? No? I thought so." Severus smirked, lying down on Harry's bed. "Now, if you would kindly shut up?"

"Sirius, please?" Harry looked up pleadingly at him, patting the bed beside him invitingly.

"I wasn't going to say anything," Sirius murmured, displeased. "How come you never tell Snape to shut up?"

"I do," Harry defended himself. "It just that it hurts me more when you are mean."

Sirius kissed his forehead in apology, surprised when Harry swiftly pulled him down on the bed so that he just barely managed to avoid crushing Harry with his weight. He laughed as Harry snuggled into him, nuzzling his neck and kissing him lightly.

"I get the feeling you want to distract me." He chuckled, moaning lowly as Harry's hand moved to cup his erection. "And that has me wondering why you don't want to talk to me... Ugh, do that again!"

Harry laughed, gracing one of Sirius' nipples with his teeth before brushing it with his lips. "I just want you to feel good."

"I always feel good when I'm with you, Harry." He groaned, drawing out the other Gryffindor's name, "Stop, Harry, or I'll lose control."

Harry pulled back reluctantly, blushing as Sirius rolled off of him, kissing his nose. "Now I have to shower again," Sirius told him in mock irritation, motioning down to the rather tented and slightly wet towel. "You should get dressed, Harry. We really need to talk."

"Okay." Harry sighed. "I'm sorry about the towel. I'll wait downstairs."

"I love you," Sirius grinned at him, giving him a chaste kiss. "I won't be long."

"Love you, too." Harry lazily pushed back the blankets and slipped out of bed, not noticing Sirius' half amused, half admiring look or his happy smile before the older Gryffindor disappeared in the bathroom.

Harry's muscles ached as he changed into his normal clothes, but he felt good nonetheless. He needed to talk with Remus and thank him! He hastily pulled on one of Sirius' sweaters (it always made him feel particularly safe and happy to be surrounded by Sirius' unique scent like this) and then bounded out of the room, hoping that Remus would already be back from the infirmary and downstairs.

"Remus, thank you." The werewolf, who had been more or less dozing on the sofa under the pretence of reading over his Transfiguration homework, was startled as two thin arms wrapped around his neck.

Harry blushed, cautiously taking two steps away from the amber-eyed boy, shuffling his feet.

"I'm kind of confused here, Harry," Remus admitted, cocking his head. "What are you thanking me for? I almost killed you. I should be thanking you that you saved Severus from me."

"For showing me that there's something good about being an elf," Harry murmured, carefully sitting down in the armchair opposite of Remus. "I told you about my uncle, didn't I? He was always there for me, he's about the only real family I have and I hate to be afraid of him, but now I can be there for him during the full moon. That's why I'm thanking you."

"So you are not afraid of me anymore?" Remus asked hopefully, but Harry shook his head.

"I don't know why I wasn't afraid yesterday. I just knew that you would never hurt me. You couldn't give me an order in that form. I just have that urge to pat all animals and coo at them and make them feel good, like I have the urge to do with Sirius and James and Lucius - well not to coo at them, of course. I'm still afraid of you, Remus, not as much as in the beginning, but I think I'll always be a little afraid of you. I'm sorry."

"No, Harry, yesterday was... it was great what you did to me, though I don't know exactly what you did. For the first time I didn't think about killing and tearing and shredding someone, about blood or flesh. It felt amazing, so peaceful. I felt almost human again. I thank you, Harry. Sirius was right, you have magical hands."

Harry smiled a little, snuggling into the cushions. "Remus, are you angry with Severus?"

"What? No, I just think that he doesn't want to see me right now, after what I almost did last night," Remus murmured sadly. "I'll give him a bit of time before I try to apologise."

"He didn't strike me as angry," Harry stated. "He doesn't blame you and there's no reason for you to blame yourself, either."

"I shouldn't have left the shack," Remus insisted. "That's where I'm supposed to spend the full moons, not running around with the others. It's too dangerous."

"You're too hard on yourself," Harry answered. "Nothing happened and though I agree that you maybe should stay a bit farther away from the castle, you're in enough pain and you deserve a little reprieve and distraction. I'm sure Severus wouldn't want you to berate yourself. Maybe you could go up there and keep him company? He had a bad night."

"Of course he had, because of me." Remus sighed. "I wouldn't want to impose -"

"You wouldn't impose, you would offer your support and comfort him, and maybe get some rest as well," Harry argued, tensing minutely when the werewolf shifted. "Severus' bad night had little to do with you, but I'm sure your presence could make this day a good day for him. Why don't you try at least?"

"I -"

"Gryffindors are brave, aren't they?" Harry interrupted him again. "Please, I really think Severus needs you right now."

"Alright," Remus replied, and with the air of someone walking towards their doom, he got up and took the steps to their dorm.

Harry smiled in satisfaction and then in relief when Sirius came down to the common room, now fully dressed and freshly showered. The veela sat down next to Harry, kissing him chastely and then pulling him into his lap.

"Harry, why were you so upset yesterday, hmm?" he asked.

"I was just so worried about Severus," Harry mumbled. "I dreamed of him, that he was in danger and I knew that he really was. I was just really upset and exhausted. I'm sorry I worried you."

"It's okay," Sirius assured him, kissing Harry's neck. "Did you mean what you said yesterday?"

"Yes, of course." Harry nodded almost hastily. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Sirius replied, tilting Harry's chin for another kiss. "You're perfect and you taste delicious."

"Thanks." Harry blushed. "Sirius, would it be okay if... if we still waited with bonding? It's just, that's a very big step, isn't it? And I don't think I'm ready for that yet..." He bit his lip in worry, twisting his hands.

"Of course we'll wait," Sirius answered immediately. "You don't have to worry, Harry. We'll take it slow, alright? One step at a time."

"Okay." Harry nodded timidly. "But maybe you could still show me some of the things you like? So I can get used to the idea? But only if you want to, if not that's fine, I mean, you don't have to, I can read some books or... something."

Sirius laughed loudly at that suggestion, hugging a deep-red Harry to his chest. "Read books, Harry? I don't think that would be an adequate compensation and I can teach you so much more..." He slipped his hand under Harry's sweater, tracing the ridge of his back and drawing a low keen from the elf, while his mouth wandered along the side of Harry's face.

"Do you feel like taking a third shower within one hour?" Harry chuckled breathlessly, clutching to Sirius' shoulders.

"Oh, how naive you are, Harry," Sirius teased him. "We won't be finished within the hour."

"So you plan to ravish me in the middle of the common room?" Harry asked uncomfortably.

"I rather thought about the dorms." Sirius waggled his eyebrows, nibbling on Harry's ear.

"With Severus sleeping in the next bed and Remus in the same room?" Harry questioned awkwardly and Sirius' face fell a little.

"I forgot about him." Sirius pouted before his face lit up again. "I just had the best idea. I think I want to take a shower now... with you."

Harry's eyes widened, making Sirius laugh and scoop him up. "I can walk on my own."

"Do you want to?" Sirius asked, halting his steps.

"Uh, no, I guess," Harry admitted sheepishly, blushing again before he buried his head against Sirius shoulder.

"You are cute when you blush. Even cuter than usual, that is," Sirius murmured in amusement, quickly crossing the dorm where Remus and Severus were talking quietly. Before the door was fully closed and locked, both his hands had already slipped under Harry's sweater again. "I wonder if you blush all over..."

He pulled the sweater over the younger boy's head, noting with amusement that it was one of his own and reached over Harry's calves almost hiding his knees. The veela then kissed Harry's slightly flushed skin, starting at his neck and moving slowly downward, paying special attention to the dusty pink nipples. Finally he went down on his knees in front of Harry. The smaller Gryffindor gasped softly in surprise as Sirius opened his jeans with his teeth, blowing warm breath on the sensitive skin.

"My, Harry, it almost looks like you have planned this. No underwear?" Sirius chuckled, looking up at him.

"I was in a hurry," Harry mumbled, putting his hands lightly on Sirius' shoulders as the other boy let the jeans slide down his legs, leaving him exposed to his hungry gaze.

"I certainly don't mind," Sirius purred. "Do you have your wand, Harry?"

"Yes," Harry replied shakily. "Why?"

"So that you can stop me if I should lose control," Sirius replied, resting his head against Harry's stomach, looking up at him. "I want you to hex me if I do something you don't like, okay?"

Harry shook his head wildly, trembling in horror at the mere thought of hurting his dom. "No, please, I can't. Can't hurt you. It's not right, please don't make me. Please."

"Harry, come on, don't shut down now," Sirius murmured soothingly. "It's just a safety precaution. I promise I won't be angry, but I want to be sure that I don't force you into anything."

"But... no!" Harry exclaimed. "It's bad, bad elf. I'm not supposed to hurt dominants. It's your right."

"No, it's not, Harry," Sirius insisted. "I'll try very hard not to lose control, but I'm not certain that I'll be able to stop. You're irresistible."

"If you try, I don't have to hex you," Harry stated. "I trust you. I don't want to hex you."

"I don't trust myself. Please, promise me that you'll stop me if I go too far," Sirius replied.

"You won't go too far," Harry declared with conviction, crossing his arms over his chest. "I couldn't hex you. You won't order me to do so, will you?"

"No, Harry, but it's..." Sirius sighed. "Fine, but can you promise me to go to Remus and Snape instead of hexing me?"

Harry bit his bottom lip in thought, but then nodded reluctantly. "'Kay."

"Thank you, Harry."

"Are you still going to do... something?" Harry asked shyly.

Sirius chuckled. "Of course, Harry, you don't really think that I would stop now with you naked in my arms, do you? Oh, how innocent you are. Would you like to change that, beautiful?"

Harry nodded hesitantly and Sirius pressed a kiss in Harry's hand before drawing back slightly to cover Harry's stomach and hips with open-mouthed kisses. When Harry moaned, he took that as his cue to move his mouth lower, to the inside of Harry's thighs, no longer kissing but gliding his lips over the smooth skin. Harry whimpered and Sirius pulled back.

"Are you okay, Harry?" he asked. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No!" Harry all but shouted. "I mean, please don't stop."

Sirius grinned and then abruptly took Harry in his mouth, drawing a suppressed mewl from the elf as he started to suckle lightly.

Harry's hands desperately grasped Sirius' shoulders, but before Harry's legs could give out completely under him, the veela took a hold of his hips to stabilise him and then turned back to bringing him closer and closer to the edge.

Not much of his attention was needed before Harry surrendered to the overwhelming sensation and climaxed. Sirius swallowed everything of the bitter liquid, licking up the few drops that had escaped his mouth and landed in the curly thatch of black hair.

"Now I understand," Harry murmured lowly as they sat in the shower and Sirius gently washed him, soaping the slight body.

"What do you understand, Harry?" Sirius asked while gliding his hands over Harry's flat stomach.

"Why he wanted me to do it," the elf whispered, tensing as Sirius' movement stopped.

"This dominant, he forced you to give him blow-jobs," Sirius hissed dangerously and Harry nodded tightly. "If I ever meet this so called dominant, I will fucking kill him."

"I'm okay." Harry turned around, pulling himself against the older Gryffindor. "I just never understood it. Please, don't be angry."

"Why not, Harry? Why didn't you understand it?" Sirius sighed, tilting Harry's head up.

"Because he always told me how disgusting and ugly I was and I couldn't understand why he wanted me to touch him like this," Harry said quietly.

"You are not ugly and not disgusting," Sirius told him insistently. "You're beautiful and he was only jealous because he could never be as pure and good as you. And he wanted you to do this not only because it feels good, but also because he wanted to pretend, for one moment, that he possessed something as great as your love."

Harry chuckled, kissing Sirius' nose. "I doubt that, but if it makes you happy I'll believe you."

"How generous of you." Sirius laughed as well. "But you certainly have a way of killing the mood."

"Sorry, I'm sorry, didn't think. Please, I'm sorry," Harry muttered, rocking back and forth.

"Shh, it was a joke," Sirius whispered in Harry's ear. "I'm glad you told me. Hush, now, it's fine."

"Do you want me to..." he uncertainly motioned to Sirius' very obvious erection.

"No, dashing," Sirius replied, kissing Harry's neck. "I'll take care of that later. This was for you, a present, I don't demand anything in return."

"You are much too good to me, do you know that?" Harry sighed happily, purring as Sirius resumed washing him.

"I could never be too good to you," Sirius chuckled lightly and then fished for a towel for Harry. "If you will excuse me? I think I want to take my third shower now."

Harry laughed and timidly pressed his lips to Sirius', who took that chance to engage Harry in a fiery kiss.

"Thank you, Sirius," he whispered, nuzzling Sirius' neck. "I love you."

"I know." Sirius smirked, earning himself a light slap to the head. "I love you, too. Now go and bother Snape for me. I really don't see why he couldn't sleep in the Snake Pit."

"You know," Harry murmured conspiringly. "I think Remus is already bothering him."

"Like I said, you have a talent for killing the mood." Sirius pouted. "How am I supposed to wank properly with that mental image stuck in my mind?"

"I'm sure you'll find a way." Harry laughed a bit uncertainly at him before getting up. "Will you go outside with me later?"

"Sure." Sirius nodded, closing the shower curtain after Harry and waited for Harry to leave the bathroom before he took care of his own pleasure, thinking about Harry's small hands wrapping around his shaft and the soft lips kissing him passionately, yet shyly.

He was sure that Harry's hands were not only magical with animals, but would also work wonders on his body. Once he allowed it, that was, but until then, the image would have to suffice. Sirius sighed, washing the remnants of his release off of him, assuring himself that he could be patient and wait for Harry. He had kept in control just now, hadn't he? Just barely, but he had managed because he didn't want Harry to do something just because he craved the feeling of safety and thought that Sirius would leave him if he didn't satisfy his needs, because that would never happen. Never.

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_I guess you all can't wait to review, so I wouldn't want to keep you :-)_


	16. Not

_Disclaimer: Not mine. See first chapter if you want details._

_Author's Note: Whoever could have imagined that holidays could be this stressful. Now, I'm very much in need of rest, though my trip to Dublin was completely awesome :-). Anyway, what this is leading up to is that I don't feel like answering any reviews right now though I'm truly and deeply touched by all your comments. Thank you. And yes, I feel sufficiently bad, don't worry. I'll answer them as soon as I feel up to it, promise._

_Beta: TheElementalMaster, thank you very much and have fun in Venice! Divertiti!_

_**Warnings for this chapter: ****attempted rape and major sadness *sniff***_

* * *

**16. NOT**

The day was windy and cloudy with colourful leaves dancing through the air and the sun breaking through the thick clouds every once in a while. Harry lazily rolled around, putting his head on Sirius' chest and threw one arm over his stomach.

"Are you comfortable?" Sirius chuckled, carding his hands through Harry's unruly locks.

"Very." Harry sighed, drawing patterns on Sirius' stomach. "Thank you."

"Oh, I'm very comfortable as well," the veela assured him. "And it's not at all altruistic of me to have brought you here. I want you all to myself."

"I know you too well to believe that," Harry said mildly. "You have been holding back and all because of me. And I'm really grateful for it. I know it hasn't been easy for you."

"I also know you very well, that's why I'm waiting," Sirius murmured. "My veela side will tell me when it's the right time to bond with you and I won't do anything before you're ready. I want it to be special."

"Thank you," the green-eyed boy whispered. "I'm sure it will be."

"I think so, too." Sirius chuckled, bringing Harry a bit closer to him. "Now, just for the record, do you have anything else planned or do you just want to lie here all day?"

"I thought we could go riding," Harry answered, looking up hopefully.

"And what do you suppose we ride?" Sirius raised his eyebrows, sitting up slightly.

"Unicorns, thestrals, hippogriffs." Harry shrugged. "Whatever you like."

"That sounds good." Sirius stood up enthusiastically. "Why don't you surprise me?"

"Okay." Harry jumped up as well. "Wait here for me?"

"Of course." Sirius nodded, watching Harry as he skipped away and disappeared in the Forbidden Forest.

Harry didn't have to go far before he met a herd of unicorns and he happily laughed at a little filly that was frolicking around its mother. He gently approached a smaller group of younger unicorns, whose hooves were still slightly silvery. But they already had the strong built of the grown-up unicorns. One of them, Niveus, danced towards him, pushing his head against Harry's belly before snorting into his hair. Harry put his arms around the young stallion's neck, which whinnied softly before dropping to his knees to let Harry sit on his back. The elf laughed as Niveus reared up slightly and pranced in excitement. Harry reached out one hand to pat the mane of the unicorn next to him, Cumulus, silently asking him to join them, before he leaned a bit forward and nudged Niveus with his legs.

Sirius was casually leaning against the tree, absently picking a piece of grass to pieces. He nearly gaped as he saw the slim boy race towards him, his black-hair tousled by the headwind and a large smile spreading over his face and making his emerald eyes sparkle. No, correct that, he **was** gaping.

"Sirius." Harry laughed at him. "Meet Niveus and Cumulus. What to join us for a ride?"

Sirius nodded, speechless, carefully taking a step towards the unicorn next to Harry's. Cumulus almost seemed to grin at him and delicately stepped towards him, neighing in invitation. He silently thanked his parents - which was such a rare occasion that it is worth mentioning - for having him learn how to ride. The Blacks had huge stables, mostly because the Malfoys and other pureblood families had stables and it wouldn't do for the Blacks to be bested in anything. Anyway, since he had learned riding and had actually enjoyed doing so, also because his mother would never think about going to the stables since she despised animals almost more than things in general, he climbed the unicorn with ease and held lightly onto Cumulus' mane for support.

"Ready?" Harry asked, grinning from ear to ear. "Think you can catch me, Mr. Black?"

"But of course, Mr. Parker." Sirius bowed his head lightly and Harry gave a bright laugh and then whispered something at his unicorn that Sirius didn't catch and Niveus reared up before darting away.

"Let's see if we can catch that little elf, shall we?" Sirius patted Cumulus before urging him with his legs to follow Harry.

Cumulus whinnied in something like amusement and then exploded under him, galloping after the fleeing pair. After a while Harry slowed down so that Sirius could catch up with him. They rode next to him in companionable silence. Harry slid his hand into Sirius' and the two unicorn walked closer together so that their riders' legs brushed from time to time.

Eventually, the unicorns carried them back to the castle, then whinnied their goodbyes and trotted back to the Forbidden Forest while Harry and Sirius went to the Great Hall for lunch.

"Hey, Paddy, where have you been?" James greeted them, leaning in conspirationally to the slightly more muscular boy. "We've made this plan for this really great prank. You know, we're a bit behind with that. So you think you can get a bit of free time and help us make that potion?" He looked at Harry, who felt highly uncomfortable.

"I'll stay with Lucius and Severus," Harry murmured.

"You can help us," Sirius offered immediately, putting an arm around Harry's shoulders. "We promised to make you a prankster."

"I'd rather not, Sirius." Harry looked up at him. "I promised to stay out of trouble or to try at least and I don't think I want to."

"Fine." Sirius kissed his cheek lightly. "I understand, we'll surprise you then."

"Thank you." Harry smiled in relief. "I'll go over to them so that you can plot, okay?"

"Okay," Sirius growled, sounding not at all pleased, and drew Harry in for a demanding kiss, mapping every nook and cranny of Harry's mouth with his tongue.

Harry gasped for breath as his mouth was released and he quickly turned around before they could see his blush. He yelped as Sirius lightly slapped his buttocks, only grinning as Harry swivelled around to glare at him.

"Love you, gorgeous," Sirius called after him so that the entire Great Hall could hear it.

Harry blushed, but smiled and waved shyly over his shoulder. Since Lucius and Severus had already left the hall, he quickly grabbed a sandwich and an apple and followed them, walking faster than necessary so that the loss of his dominant would pass more quickly. He whispered the password and slipped into the always rather chilly Slytherin common room, looking around for Lucius or Severus. Finally he spied the black-haired boy hunched over a book, most likely another potion's book, sitting in one of the posh leather armchairs.

"Severus," Harry greeted him, sitting down on the armrest. "Where's Lucius?"

"With Narcissa, somewhere." Severus shrugged with little interest. "I wouldn't interrupt them. What are you doing here, anyway?" He finally looked up. "Has Black abandoned you?"

"No, he hasn't and don't say something like that, it makes me nervous," Harry reprimanded him. "So will you keep me company?"

"I'm afraid I'll have to go to Degenhardt in a few minutes to do a potion for extra credit. If I want to have my mastery in one year, I have to start now," Severus replied.

"I understand." Harry worried his bottom lip lightly. "I think I'll go back to Gryffindor then."

"We can walk together." Severus unfolded his long legs and got up. "We can meet again later, if you want to. I should be finished in about an hour, maybe less. Do you want me to come to you then?"

"That would be great." Harry smiled gratefully at him, softly kissing his cheek as they parted ways. "Have fun with your potions."

"I will," Severus murmured, watching as Harry quickly disappeared around the corner.

With a sigh, he touched his cheek, but then shook his head. He was happy with Remus, who was sweet and gentle and... not Harry. But he was clever enough to realise that the real Harry most likely wasn't like the fantasy he had created of him. He knew that, but that couldn't quite stop him from wishing, hoping and dreaming. But he would work on that because this attitude was fair to neither Remus nor Harry. Remus was real, Harry was his friend and deserved to be seen as more than an unattainable fantasy.

Harry wrapped his arms around himself, shivering slightly as he felt the full force of being alone hitting him. _Damnit!_ He could walk to the Tower on his own, he didn't need a bodyguard! He brutally quenched the little voice that told him that he very much needed and wanted a bodyguard. But he could walk to the Tower on his own, he didn't need anyone to hold his hand and he could give Sirius at least that little bit of freedom. Most likely Sirius was glad that he wasn't clinging to him anymore. No, he wouldn't think about that, Severus hadn't meant what he said. And if Sirius wanted to leave him, he could understand that, it was his good right, after all he was weak and clingy and ugly. He really shouldn't think like that, Lucius would be ashamed and Sirius would want him even less. _Stupid blond snot_, he really needed to get over what Draco had said.

"Parker," a voice interrupted his torturous thoughts and he swivelled around, wand in hand.

"Oh." He let out a sigh, lowering his wand. "Hi, Peter, you startled me."

"Come into the classroom for a moment," Peter ordered, not returning Harry's smile.

Harry faltered, furrowing his brow, and as reluctantly as possible followed Peter's orders. Considering that Peter was a very weak dominant, Harry could have drawn out his obedience up to ten minutes, but the chubby boy got impatient and rudely took a hold of Harry's arm, dragging him into the classroom, and pushed him down on the floor. The skinny Gryffindor looked up with frightened eyes as Peter locked the door with his wand before turning to him.

"Now you'll pay, you little freak." Peter sneered at him, an expression that even in Harry's frightened state he found weird and vaguely amusing. "You will pay for it."

"For what?" Harry pressed out, scrambling back as Peter advanced, grasping the wand in his pocket.

"For stealing my friends. Everything was perfect before you came," Peter spat at him. "And now they ignore me completely. It's always Harry here and Harry there, but that will change once I'm through with you."

"I'm sorry if you feel like this. I'll try not to take up too much of their time," Harry promised as his back hit the cold stone wall, trapping him.

"They won't even spare you a glance," Peter muttered, "And we'll be back to normal. You're nothing special and they'll finally see that."

There were many things Peter was not. He wasn't clever or smart or even just remotely intelligent; he wasn't good-looking or attractive or handsome by a far stretch of the imagination; he wasn't dedicated and helpful like Remus, or courageous and adventuresome like James, or contagiously happy and spontaneous like Sirius. He was just Peter. He wasn't special, he didn't have creature blood, studies bored and frustrated him and he enjoyed seeing others humiliated because then he felt his own inferiority not quite as profoundly. For six years, he had had three great friends, who seemed unaware of the fact that he wasn't quite on their level. They shared everything, there were no secrets between them, inseparable. Until now.

Lily was a girl, she could never replace him. There were things James would never tell her, things he wouldn't share with her, guy things. She was no threat. James spend time with her, sure, but he always had time for his group of friends as well. For Sirius and Remus and Peter. None of them had had a partner and Peter had been happy that way.

But then Parker had showed up and destroyed everything! The friendship Peter worked so hard to keep every day, the only thing he was willing to do everything for, had been served to that stupid elf almost on a silver platter. Suddenly Sirius and Remus had boyfriends and even James spend more time with Lily because now everyone had someone. Everyone except Peter that is. Peter was alone and with every minute he was left in solitude his resentment of Harry grew.

Peter wasn't clever or good-looking, but he was determined. Determined to get his friends back and Harry out of the picture. With all the means necessary, how ever despisable they may be.

"Peter..." Harry whimpered as the other boy leaned down to him, forcefully tearing his legs apart.

"Shut up, shut up." Peter slapped him across the cheek, hard enough to make tears spring to Harry's eyes. "Do you think I want to do this?! Everything could be perfect, without you. I have to do something! You don't understand! You don't understand what it feels like to be a failure to everyone, you don't understand!" His voice was high-pitched, frantic and choked with sobs. "I need them. I have to do this!"

"Peter, stop this, stop, we can talk about it," Harry tried to ward off the clammy hands that scrambled to undress him. "We'll find a solution. It's not too late. Stop, please!"

But Peter didn't seem to hear him, muttering under his breath, "They won't like you anymore when you aren't a virgin anymore. Then you'll be just another one of Sirius' bints and he'll drop you. You will pay..."

He continued mumbling incoherencies as he worked on Harry's pants. Harry shuddered and sobbed and his wings surfaced, cocooning him and knocking Peter off of him as he crawled into a corner, one hand holding his wand trained on Peter, while the other clutched the small silver rose in front of his chest.

"Stupe-" Harry started, but then whimpered and dropped his wand as the door was hexed open.

"What is going on in here?" Remus demanded, his fine nose catching the unmistakable scent of fear, of sheer horror. "Peter, what are you doing?"

"N... Nothing," Peter stuttered. "Parker just freaked out. He's not right in the head..."

Remus snarled at him, noting how the smaller boy hastened to zip up his trousers again. "Out now! Before I let Moony loose on you because he would just love to rip you to shreds right now."

Peter scrambled to obey and Remus carefully approached the shivering bundle of elf in the shadowed corner. Harry's whimpers grew louder and huge, tear-filled eyes looked up at him, begging him to save him, to go and leave him alone.

"Harry, shh, he can't hurt you now." Remus cautiously caressed one of the inky black wings that fluttered under his touch. "You're safe. I'll take you to the Gryffindor Tower. It's only a few steps from here. And then I'll look for someone to protect you, okay? I don't want to leave you here. In Gryffindor there will be a lot of people and he won't try anything. Okay?"

Harry whimpered and wrapped his wings even tighter around his body, but nodded.

"Do you want to walk or would you like me to carry you?" Remus asked gently.

"I don't think I can walk," Harry choked out in between sobs that wracked his delicate form.

Remus nodded in understanding, shrugging out of his robes and spreading them over Harry in the hope that it would make Harry more comfortable with being carried by a werewolf. One pale hand reached out from beneath the cocoon of feathers to draw the robe closer and Remus cautiously lifted the smaller boy up in his arms, wincing mentally as Harry sobbed harder, his back and wings knotting into a tight web of tense muscles under his hand. He quickly left the room, throwing the door shut behind them with probably more force than was necessary or prudent, making Harry wince in his arms.

"Remus," someone called from behind him and the werewolf gave a sigh of relief. "What happened?"

"Severus." Remus turned around, locking eyes with his boyfriend. "I need you to take Harry to the Gryffindor Tower. I'll tell you everything later."

Severus nodded swiftly and took Harry into his own arms. "What's the password?" he asked, his fingers soothingly running through Harry's soft hair.

"Ladybird," Remus answered over his shoulder already several steps away. "I'll find one of them."

Severus carefully tightened his arms around the slight, trembling body in his arms and then made his way to the portrait of the Fat Lady, whispering the password and ignoring the weird glances thrown his way as he crossed the common room. He hesitated a moment as he entered the dorms, but then put Harry on Sirius' bed, spreading the soft blanket over him.

"Harry," he called, pulling one of Harry's wings down with soft force. "Talk to me, please?"

Harry shook his head, huge tears splaying over his already wet cheeks. Severus sighed, shifting on the bed and drawing Harry to his chest, gently patting his hair. Harry pressed closer to the older boy, searching refuge in the familiar, protecting arms, trying to feel safe again. Severus' arms were no cure against the helplessness and betrayal he felt.

They sat like this for over half an hour and finally Harry's tears subsided and the tremors softened, but still Harry wouldn't talk to Severus, who was at his wits' end what he could do to calm Harry down. What was Remus doing all this time, anyway? How difficult could it be to find one of three boys and send them up here? And would it have been too much trouble to tell him the basics so that he would at least have an idea what to do for Harry?

"Harry!" It must have been the first time that Severus was honestly glad to see Black as he pushed into the room.

Harry struggled free of Severus' embrace as he heard the worried voice and launched himself at the other Gryffindor, sobbing into his chest and clutching his robes as if he was afraid that Sirius would disappear and leave him alone again. Severus looked up as the bed dipped once again and caught sight of Potter and Lucius.

The Gryffindor looked paler than usual, his eyes wide and almost fearful as he stared at the trembling little sub. His hands clenched in the bedspread, his knuckles turning white before he loosened his hands slightly and also embraced the smaller elf.

Lucius returned Severus questioning gaze, but didn't say anything. But the black-haired Slytherin could see the muscles play around the veela's jaw as he clenched his teeth together in an uncharacteristic show of agitation, before he gently pried one of Harry's hands loose and caressed and squeezed it comfortingly. Harry's hand tightened in his, his fingers wrapping around Lucius' thumb.

"What happened here?" a cold voice asked from the door and Severus pulled out his wand, though he thought that this was a very reasonable question. "Put away your wand, Mr. Snape. Right now, I really have better things to do than to start a duel."

"Who are you? How do you know my name?" Severus demanded, not lowering his wand and briefly wondering why he was the only one who seemed to care about the hooded stranger.

"It's okay, Severus," Lucius said, sounding more tired than Severus was used to. "He brought Harry here."

Severus reluctantly lowered his wand and the tall man walked to the bed, somehow managing to shift Harry into his own arms, though Sirius didn't seem at all happy and growled at the older man.

"Shh, little sub, shh, take deep breathes, all right?" the mummed wizard murmured soothingly. "That's it. Nothing will happen to you, you are safe, shh, don't cry anymore. Tell me what happened please, I can't help you if you don't."

Harry's whole body shook and his wings fluttered nervously as he looked up at the older veela. "I wanted to go back to Gryffindor because Lucius was off with Narcissa and because Severus had to do that potion and then Peter came... and he told me to go into that classroom." Harry heaved a huge sob and the older man urged him softly to go on. "He said I had stolen Sirius and James and that I had ruined everything for him and that he would make me pay..."

"How, little elf?" the older Lucius asked, wiping away some of the tears. "What did he do to you?"

"He said that Sirius wouldn't want me." Harry sniffed. "If I wasn't a virgin anymore." The arms around him tightened, pulling him even closer. "He would have done something if Remus hadn't come..."

The older wizard sighed in momentary relief before he turned back to Harry. "Did he hurt you, little elf?"

"No," Harry shook his head lightly. "Not really, he just scared me. I couldn't disobey him and I was so helpless and he said all those things. I was going to hex him. Is... Is that okay?"

"I'm very proud of you, Harry," the stranger assured him. "You have every right to protect yourself."

"I'm sorry I worried you," Harry murmured

"You have nothing to be sorry about," the hooded man calmed him down. "This should never have happened to you." He glared at the three dominant creatures, who looked away, ashamed.

"It's not their fault," Harry protested, looking up at the man who held him. "I thought I would be fine. I didn't think he would go this far and I hadn't asked Lucius if he had time for me. It's not their fault."

"They should have known better than to let you walk around on your own." The stranger sneered. "They are responsible for you."

"No," Harry dared to object. "I'm responsible for my actions. You know that I always do foolish things. It was only a matter of time until I would mess this up as well. I'm sorry, but please don't be angry at them, be angry at me."

"I'm not angry at you." The man sighed. "And this is not your fault. It's in your nature to want to please them and they should have known not to let you wander on your own. Something like this was bound to happen."

"Please," Harry whispered. "Please, don't be angry. I'm fine, nothing happened."

"It's not fine, Harry," Sirius told him. "He's right, I should have better protected you. I'm sorry, I could never forgive myself if you were really bound to that rat. Jamie and I should have known that something was off with him."

"I should have told you," Harry argued weakly. "I knew that he didn't like me."

"We all knew that, Harry," James corrected him gently. "We talked to him about it and told him to leave you alone. We should have made sure that Malfoy had time for you or we should have at least kept an eye on Peter."

"But nothing happened," Harry protested, brushing his cheeks as if to prove his point. "Remus saved me."

"Nonetheless, I will take you back home." Lucius stood up with Harry still in his arms. "You will be safer there. We found someone for you."

"But I don't want to," Harry returned half-defiantly and half-pleadingly. "I want to stay with Sirius."

"He's my mate, Sir," Sirius offered, slipping an arm around Harry's narrow waist as Harry freed himself from the stranger.

"That is not an option, Harry," the stranger said, his voice neutral. "You are needed at home and Sébastien will provide the protection you need."

"I haven't even heard of him," Harry exclaimed. "And I don't want to bond to someone else. I want to be with Sirius."

"He went to Beauxbaton, is twenty-one, good-looking, intelligent and quite charming," the older man reasoned. "He would love to meet you and I am sure you will like him. Your friends like him."

"I don't want to like him, I love Sirius," Harry argued. "That won't just change because **you** think that this Sébastien guy is perfect. Doesn't he have a mate of his own?"

"His mate died before they could bond, Harry." The hooded man sighed.

"So I'm the consolation prize?" the elf asked bitterly. "Why can't you at least give Sirius a chance?"

"Because it is not a possibility, Harry. No one expects you to bond with Sébastien just yet, but he will be able to give you all the care and attention you need. I am sorry if you feel that this is unfair and I understand that you made friends here, but you knew that this was only a temporary solution," the older Lucius said evenly. "You can say good-bye to your friends while I pack, but we will return home. We can discuss this later."

Harry swallowed hard trying to keep the tears at bay. What if Sirius was dead? Remus had never mentioned him. He knew that he would have to return to his own time, but somewhere deep down he knew that Sirius was also his mate and it hurt more than he cared to understand to have to leave him and maybe never see him again.

"I'll never love anyone as much as I love you," he whispered, one single tear rolling down his cheek as Sirius sealed their lips in a kiss that promised so much, but spoke of so much desperation at the same time.

"I'll look for you and I won't stop before you're mine again," the shadow veela vowed, kissing Harry once again before he reluctantly let him go to say good-bye to the others.

"Tell Narcissa that I'm grateful for all her help," Harry whispered to Lucius as the tall blond enclosed him in his arms. "And thank you for everything. I don't think I could have survived without you."

"I hope we will see you again, Harry," Lucius returned. "Take good care of you for me."

Harry nodded before he embraced the only other elf. "Thank you, Prongs. Be nice to Severus for me and I wish you and Lily all the luck in the world."

"Thank you, Harry," James replied, his voice a little choked. "I'll miss you. We've grown so used of having you around. The Marauders won't be complete without you. We'll deal with the rat, don't worry." His eyes narrowed angrily and he balled his hands into fists.

Harry closed his eyes. He couldn't find it in him to ask for mercy for Peter even though a large part of what he felt was overwhelming pity for the chubby boy. But Peter had tried to rape him. There were some things for which there was no excuse.

"Keep Sirius from doing anything foolish," Harry begged instead.

"I will," James promised. "And we'll both keep looking for you."

Harry gave him a watery smile, pressing closer and mumbling in his hair. "I love you, Dad. I will never forget my time with you."

James looked confused and wanted to ask what Harry had muttered, but the elf had already turned to Severus.

"Tell Remus thank you for everything he's done for me and saving me time and time again," Harry asked and Severus nodded. "Please, Severus, don't hate me when you find out who I am."

"Harry, why would I-" Severus asked confused.

"Keep safe." Harry turned away, not answering Severus' confused question and threw himself into Sirius' arms once again.

"I won't let you go, Harry," Sirius growled lowly, enclosing Harry's thin waist with his hands and bringing him closer. "I won't let him take you away from me."

"I have to go, Sirius," Harry said softly. "He's right, I don't belong here."

"You belong with me, Harry," Sirius argued vehemently.

"Yes, but it's not time yet." Harry smiled softly at him. "I want you to be happy more than anything else. Promise me to be happy."

"Harry..."

"Promise me, Sirius," Harry pleaded. "Promise me."

"Okay." Sirius sighed, not wanting those green eyes to well over with tears he caused. "But I won't stop looking for you. I love you, Harry."

"I love you, too," Harry whispered. "My name is not Harry Parker."

"Harry, that is enough," the stranger interrupted them. "Sleep."

Harry sagged almost immediately in Sirius' arms, silent tears running down his cheeks.

"Why won't you at least give me a chance?" Sirius demanded desperately. "I'll do whatever you deem necessary. I'm not like my family."

"No, Black." Lucius sneered at him, pulling Harry into his arms, though Sirius was still holding onto him. "You are worse! You won't ever see Harry again if I have anything to say in that matter."

Sirius' hands dropped, both from shock and because he didn't want to hurt Harry. He helplessly watched as the older man adjusted the sleeping elf in his arms and placed his shrunken possessions into his robe pocket before walking out of the room, stealing Harry from him.

"No," it was nothing more than a desperate whisper as he sank to his knees, burying his face in his hands. "NO!"

* * *

_Who wants to kill me first? _


	17. Some Things Don't Change

_Disclaimer: See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: Hm, you weren't so happy about the ending of the last chapter, were you? But here you go, another chapter... Hope you like it, and if it doesn't make sense yet, there's still some hope that it will make sense after chapter 18 so just wait and see, alright?_

_Beta: Blaithin-mae, thank you!_

* * *

**17. SOME THINGS DON'T CHANGE**

Lucius and Harry landed safely in the Headmaster's office in more or less the same place they had left from, with Dumbledore twinkling at them in welcome. The veela gently woke his small burden and Harry freed himself from his embrace, looking around.

The first person he saw was Remus, who looked mildly uncomfortable and very nervous as their eyes locked, as if he wasn't sure that he should really be there.

"Uncle Remus," Harry exclaimed, hugging him fiercely before quickly stepping back with a blush and a small tremor.

"Harry." A relieved smile spread over the werewolf's face and he grasped Harry's hand to squeeze it briefly. "I'm glad you are back, cub. Are you okay? I was so worried when Lucius got the call and then I remembered." He gulped, tightening his other hand into a fist.

"I will be." Harry smiled carefully before freeing his hand to look around the room.

Lucius had taken a seat next to a very tall young man with light brown hair and impressive turquoise eyes, who was looking at Harry as if he was a very delicious sort of food. Harry blushed, quickly turning away, his eyes finding the black eyes of his Potion's Master.

"Professor,..." he trailed of uncertainly as Severus' expression didn't change in the least, sadly lowering his head - so Severus, his best-friend in the past, hated him now.

"I was under the impression, Mr. Potter, that we were on a first name basis," the tall man stated, smirking as Harry's head snapped up. "Come here, brat. How could you believe that I would be able to hate you?"

Harry gratefully buried his head in the black robes, taking a deep breath of the familiar smell of herbs and potions' fumes as Severus closed his arms around his young friend.

"You did a very credible imitation," Harry murmured. "I was really afraid."

"Forgive the bitterness of an old man, Harry," Severus asked. "I could never hate the real you. Forgive me for being blind and blinded."

"You are not old," Harry protested.

"I see you didn't argue me being bitter." Severus chuckled, gently running his fingers through Harry's hair. "I missed you, Harry, and this will be the only time you'll ever hear me say something along those lines, so you better remember it well."

Harry laughed at that, hugging the older man once more. "Can we still be friends?"

"As long as you don't expect me to go gallivanting around with your other friends or send you inconsequential letters during class, I'm sure that can be arranged," Severus drawled.

Harry sighed in relief, snuggling into the older man.

Dumbledore cleared his throat, accompanying this sound with one last loud slurp from his cup of tea. "May I introduce you to Sébastien DeLamare?"

The slender, sinewy young man next to Lucius stood with a flourish, sending Harry a brilliant smile before taking his hand and kissing the back of it lightly, in much the same way as Sirius had done at their first meeting.

"I'm delighted to finally meet you, Harry. I've heard quite a lot about you," Sébastien greeted him in a very sensual and alluring voice, which had the hint of a French accent. "Though, reality belies all those descriptions."

Harry blushed, pulling back his hand and hiding it in the folds of his robes, carefully taking a step back.

"Harry, is something the matter?" Sébastien asked, furrowing his brow in concern. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"I love Sirius," Harry whispered. "I love him. Why isn't he here? Is he dead?"

There was a brief but profound silence and then Dumbledore answered with one single word that threatened to shatter Harry's entire world, "Yes."

"What?" Harry demanded, looking from Dumbledore to Lucius, then to Remus, who looked almost as shocked as Harry himself. "You're lying."

"I understand that this is a hard blow for you, Harry, but you will have to accept the truth," Dumbledore replied solemnly.

"No," Harry protested. "I don't believe you. Sirius isn't dead. I would feel it! Wouldn't I damn well feel it?! Lucius?!"

"Harry... believe us. Sirius Black is dead," Lucius answered with an impassive face.

Harry clenched his hands, straining against the order. "This is unfair, and you know it. If what you say is true, why would you have to fall back on such cheap tricks? Where's his body? How did he die? I want to visit his grave."

"Harry, I apologise and take back my order," Lucius replied earnestly.

The black-haired young man breathed a sigh of relief. "He's not dead. I know he isn't so why isn't he here?"

"Harry, take a seat, all right?" Lucius motioning the elf closer.

"Why isn't he here?"

"You see, Harry," Dumbledore started, while Lucius gently embraced the distraught Gryffindor. "We hadn't anticipated that you would fall in love at all, much less with Sirius Black."

"Did you think I would fall in love with my dad?" Harry asked incredulously. "Or that I would try to steal Lucius from Narcissa?"

"Yes, well, Harry, I'm sure you will be able to find love with Sébastien here and get over your crush." the Headmaster twinkled at him and Harry's hands curled into fists.

"I want to know what happened to Sirius," he pressed out. "Please, just tell me, Lucius, please?"

He shyly nuzzled the blond's neck, putting his arms around him. Lucius' eyes dilated slightly and Sébastien growled with jealousy.

"Black is serving his life sentence in Azkaban, Harry," Lucius cautiously embraced the small elf a little tighter as Harry stiffened. "You wouldn't be safe with him."

"Why?" Harry whispered, "I don't understand, Lucius, why?"

"Do you know what a secret keeper is?" Lucius asked gently, tucking Harry's head under his chin as the small submissive gave a shaky nod. "Severus warned your parents that the Dark Lord was after them and they went into hiding. They asked Black to be their secret keeper. He betrayed them to the Dark Lord and when Pettigrew cornered him, he not only killed him but also blasted the street, killing a dozen Muggles. All that was left of Pettigrew was a finger."

"But..." Harry closed his eyes tightly. "He loved my father, they were like brothers."

"That's what everyone thought, Harry," Remus spoke up in a hoarse voice. "But he must have changed sides without anyone noticing. Professor Dumbledore offered to be the secret keeper for your parents, but James insisted on Black. And since Voldemort found you... I'm sorry, cub, but the Sirius you and I knew doesn't exist anymore."

Harry sobbed, his wings coming out to shield him from everyone in the room, as he slipped from Lucius' arms and curled up on the floor.

"Harry, I know this is not easy for you," Dumbledore said after a while. "But I'm sure Sébastien will take good care of you."

"You know nothing," Harry said after a long silence and got up slowly. "So don't pretend you do, Headmaster. I love Sirius and I can't just turn it off because it doesn't suit **your** plan. I have to think about this."

He shakily made his way over to the door, forcing his legs to obey his will, and then hid in one of the classrooms, opening the window wide. No! No, no, no, no! This just couldn't be true. Sirius loved his parents, he would have died for his father. Sirius hated the Dark Arts, hated everything with only a touch of darkness with a passion. There must have been a terrible misunderstanding! _Or maybe not_, the traitorous little voice in his head supplied_, that explains why Remus never mentioned him, why Lucius was so adamant about them leaving immediately, why he seemed so shocked when he had found out about them._ It explained why Remus had looked so pained and almost desperate as he returned and had said that he loved Sirius. It explained a lot, but it didn't change the fact that Harry loved Sirius and that he wouldn't give up on him before knowing all the facts.

He quickly got up, brushing away the tears that still rolled down his cheeks and retracted his wings. He needed to find Severus.

However, he didn't get very far before someone called for him to stop. Harry halted immediately, nervously looking over his shoulder as Sébastien caught up with him, smiling once again.

"Harry, I was looking for you. Are you feeling better?" there was real concern in his voice and Harry decided that he liked the young man, though a small part of him couldn't stop resenting him for wanting to replace Sirius.

"Not really," he answered. "Please, can I go? I need to sort some things out for myself."

"Of course. I understand that." Sébastien rubbed Harry's back gently and the elf gratefully soaked up the friendly contact. "I didn't know that you had already found someone and I apologise for being so insensible. I know how it is to lose someone you really love." A look of sadness swept over his face and Harry felt the sudden urge to comfort him, leaning up to shyly caress the older man's cheek.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered. "I'm sorry you lost your mate."

Sébastien gave him a small, sad smile before answering, "It was of no one's fault; his time had come. He was already very ill when I met him. The healers didn't know what he had and they could do little to slow down the process. We had many beautiful months together, almost three years and I know that he had a happy life and did everything he wanted to do."

"What was his name?" Harry asked softly.

"Aaron, Aaron Dassine." Sébastien had the same wistful expression on his face once again before he focused on Harry. "Harry, I don't want you to believe that you are only a replacement for him. No one could replace him, just as no one could replace you. If you want to, I'm certain that I could give you my love and I will protect you and always be there for you. Or if you don't want that, we can always be friends. You can always come to me, Harry, whether you need someone to love you or just someone to talk. I will be there."

"Thank you." Harry quickly wiped away the tears that had started to flow once again. "I think I'd like that, if it doesn't bother you."

Sébastien chuckled lightly, leaning down to kiss Harry's cheek. "You are sweet. It won't be a bother at all. Now, where can I take you?"

"I can walk by myself," Harry protested, still blushing bright red.

"I don't doubt that, but it seems like a good idea to me to keep an eye on you." Sébastien laughed. "I heard you have the habit of attracting trouble."

Harry grumbled, displeased, but led the way down to the dungeons and Severus' office. "So what do you do?" Harry asked mostly to say something, but also because he wanted to know.

"Oh, I'm a healer in the research department," the other wizard answered. "It's a pretty cool job, if I do say so myself. We work in small teams with up to five wizards or witches and look for new cures, spells, potions and ingredients for potions; and then we test them. Sometimes we also try to gather information on certain illnesses and research old methods in the hopes of finding something that might help the patients."

Harry nodded absently before posing another question. "What kind of creature are you? You don't smell like a veela or an elf."

Sébastien chuckled. "I'm a siren, you know like those women in the fairytales that attracted the mariners with their voices and made them crash into rocks. Well, only that I'm male and that I don't sink ships in my free time."

"Oh," Harry said. "You have a nice voice."

"Thank you." The young man chuckled at Harry's blush. "I like your ears."

Harry blushed even more, fastening his steps to escape the embarrassment, but the siren stayed at his side, still smirking in amusement as they reached the door to Severus' office and as he said his good-byes.

"Harry," Severus greeted him neutrally as he opened the door, ushering Harry inside and almost immediately wrapping him in his arms as the door closed. "Are you okay?"

"I don't think so," Harry whispered, leaning heavily against him.

"You know that I never liked Black much, but I really wished it hadn't turned out like this, if only because of you," Severus murmured, pulling him to his chest.

"Severus, I can't accept it just like this." Harry looked pleadingly at him. "I can't. Sirius isn't like this. He wouldn't have become a Death Eater, never. Not Sirius." The muscles in Severus' jaw tightened and Harry looked up at him. "I didn't mean it like that, but you're different, Severus. You never hated the Dark Arts like Sirius does. It doesn't make sense."

"He changed after Lucius took you away," Severus offered. "He was desperate to find you. I agree that Black despised the Dark Arts, but I also think that he would have been willing to go to any length necessary to get you back. He and your father were close, but Black **loved** you, Harry. If he thought that the Dark side could help him find you, he wouldn't have hesitated long."

Harry bit his bottom lip, trying to find fault in Severus' logic. "I still have questions."

"I will try to answer them as best as I can," the Potion's Master answered tenderly.

"I want **him** to answer my questions," Harry whispered and the taller man's arms tightened around him. "Will you come with me to Azkaban?"

"Harry, Azkaban is no place for you," Severus argued. "You can't just walk in there for a little weekend trip."

"Please, Severus," Harry begged. "You're the only one whom I could ask. I don't know Sébastien and Remus scares me and Lucius wouldn't allow it..."

"With good reason," Severus retorted.

"It hurts so much." Harry whimpered. "I want to have answers, answers only he can give me. It hurts so much and I want to know at least the reason why."

"Can't you just forget about him?" Severus asked hopefully, sighing in resignation as Harry shook his head. "He might already be insane. He was imprisoned almost immediately after your parents' death."

"I know." Harry shuddered. "But I just have to try, Severus. Wouldn't you want answers?"

"You know there will be many Dementors and if I remember correctly that your reaction to them is not too favourable," Severus impressed on Harry, who nodded shakily. "Very well, I want you to rest. It has been barely three hours for you since Pettigrew tried to rape you. I want you to have at least a bit more distance. I'll pull some strings to get us a visitor's permit."

"Thank you, Severus." Harry leaned up to kiss his cheek. "Can I stay here? I don't want to go back to that room where Ma... Draco..."

Severus hesitated briefly, but then led Harry into his private chambers. "Remus wanted to come by later, but we'll stay out here, alright?"

"So you are still together?" Harry grinned up at him as the Potion's Master blushed, a barely noticeable pink staining his pale cheeks. "I knew it!"

"That better stays between us," Severus growled, sending Harry a stern glare.

Harry only chuckled and disappeared in Severus' bedroom, cautiously curling up under the heavy black blankets.

"Sleep, Harry." Severus tenderly tucked the delicate elf in. "I won't allow anyone to hurt you. I'll take care of everything."

"Thank you, Severus. At least, I still have you." Harry sighed as he was gently kissed on the forehead before the professor left the room, softly closing the door behind him.

* * *

_So... What do you think?_


	18. Azkaban

_Disclaimer: See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: Here we go again! Hope you like it and that my explanations and reasons are convincing. Enjoy!_

_Beta: TheElementalMaster, thank you for the superduper-quick corrections._

* * *

**18. AZKABAN**

The small boat rocked unsteadily with the irregular, but nonetheless strong strokes of the guard who was bringing them to the island of Azkaban. Harry shivered in the cold sea breeze and pressed closer to Severus, who did his best to shield him from the swashes of salty water that time and time again sloshed into the boat, soaking their shoes and robes.

"Remember that potion, Snape," the guard said gruffly as Severus helped Harry to climb onto the battered wooden landing stage.

"You'll have it by the end of the week." Severus nodded sharply at him and led Harry down the narrow path to the looming cross-barred door that led down into the prison.

The bare, hard, unforgiving, jagged rocks soared into the sky, almost black in their colouring, seeming to swallow up the little light that managed to break through the clouds. The door was small, made of massive iron that almost hissed in warning as Severus pushed it open.

This was the kingdom of the Dementors and no human was here. Except for the prisoners. All the formalities had been conducted in the shabby building on the mainland that still looked so much more welcoming than the prison.

The tunnel that took them deeper into the heart of the island was even darker and damp. Something that Harry sincerely hoped was water was running down the walls and dripping to the floor. The deathly presence of the Dementors hung over everything and they already sucked the happiness out of them, feasting on their fresh emotions.

The tunnel was straight, only lit by a torch every twenty metres that only served to send sinister shadows over the cold walls. It was several long, silent minutes before Harry saw the first shadow of a Dementor glide towards them and his breath hitched painfully in his chest as the wave of coldness crashed over him.

Severus raised his wand, shooting a silvery wisp towards the approaching creature, rubbing Harry's arm with his other hand. "We are here to see Sirius Black."

The creature took a long shuddery breath, but then slid back into a side corridor, allowing them to pass.

"Severus." Harry trembled, screams and cries echoing distantly through his mind as he wrapped his wings around himself.

"Here, eat that chocolate. It will help you." Severus handed him a huge bar of chocolate, gently tugging him down the corridor. "Black's cell is on the deepest level so this won't be the last encounter with them."

"I can hear how Voldemort killed my parents," Harry whispered and Severus' arm around his waist tightened.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" the black-eyed man asked, concerned, slowing his steps.

"We are already here and I want to see him," Harry insisted. "I just hate those Dementors."

Severus nodded and they continued down their path in silence. Every time a Dementor approached them, the Potion's Master conjured up his Patronus and they were left alone again.

"Cell 118," Severus muttered, pointing his lighted wand at the rusty and askew numbers on the wall next to a grilled door. "That should be it. You will stay with me all the time, Harry," he whispered and Harry nodded obediently.

Severus sighed, but extracted a rusty key from his pocket and pushed it into the locket with some difficulties, turning it around with a crunching sound. At first glance, the cell seemed to be empty and even darker than the cells they had passed. A small cot, with thin, moth-eaten blankets stood under the only small window through which dusty light fell. Other than that, the cell was bare, but Harry could feel the shadows concentrate in one of the corners and he could feel his dominant. His Sirius.

"What do you want?" the voice that greeted them was hoarse from years of disuse and the man that followed it out of the shadows was thin

and skeletal.

The once so tan skin had become shallow and stretched over the protruding bones and although Harry had been clearly the thinner one in the past, he wasn't so sure about that anymore. The once glossy hair, Sirius' pride, now hang limply around his shoulders in matted black strands. But it was still his Sirius.

The veela sniffed the air cautiously, his storm-grey eyes landing on the elf. "Harry?" he asked incredulously, "Harry?"

"My name is Harry Potter," Harry said, trying to keep his voice under control. "Dumbledore sent me back into the past where we met. I didn't know about you and now I want answers, Sirius. I deserve answers."

"Harry? My Harry," Sirius repeated as if saying his name would make it more real. "I looked for you for so long. I couldn't find you, Harry..."

"We haven't come for you to pour out your heart, Black," Severus spat, putting himself between the two creatures when Sirius made to pull Harry into his arms. "You will not give Harry any kind of order or I'll stun him and we will never come back. And of course, you won't touch him, either."

Sirius' gaze snapped up to the Potion's Master and he nodded reluctantly, his eyes surprisingly lucid. "I just want a chance, Snape."

Harry felt another Dementor approach and sheathed his wand, bringing Severus with him as he cast his own Patronus, which was much stronger than Severus'. The memory of a sunny day when Sirius had pulled him closer in Care of Magical Creatures, patting his hair. Prongs stepped out of his wand, proudly raising his antlers as he took stand in front of the cell. Sirius gasped softly.

"We haven't got all day, Black," Severus said, a look of disgust etched into his face as he sat down on the small cot after a quick Cleaning Charm; he had closed the door after them and now pulled Harry closer.

"Why did you betray them, Sirius?" Harry whispered. "How could you?"

"Harry, I didn't," Sirius argued urgently. "I loved your parents. Lily and James, they made me your godfather, did you know that? James said that since we couldn't find you, they would give me another Harry to care for. You were everything for me. Ask Remus. He can tell you. When James asked me to be their secret keeper, I told them to take Pettigrew instead. I thought it was the perfect plan, Harry, I really thought so. I thought Voldemort would be after me and no one would even consider weak, little Peter... It was my fault, Harry, and I'm sorry, but I didn't betray them. It was Pettigrew."

"You killed him," Harry said softly, holding back his tears. "You killed him."

"I didn't, though I would love nothing better than to wrap my hands around his pudgy neck and squeeze the life out of him." Sirius growled angrily, his hands twitching. "I cornered him and he screamed that I had betrayed Lily and James, that I had killed them, then he blew up the street and transformed into a rat after he had cut of his finger - "

"Oh, really, Black, you had sixteen years to come up with a good excuse and that is the result?" Severus stood. "Harry, let's go, alright?"

"What about the trial, Sirius? If you are really innocent, why did they condemn you? All they had to do was use Veritaserum or look at your memories..."

"I didn't have a trial, Harry," Sirius answered quietly. "They had Dumbledore's testimony that James wanted to make me his secret keeper and a street of Muggles that repeated what Pettigrew had shouted at me. I guess they didn't deem it necessary."

Harry gasped and Severus sneered. "As if a trial would have made a difference. Even you can't be so stupid as to consider this, Harry."

Sirius snarled at him. "Don't speak to Harry like that."

"You want to make us believe that Pettigrew not only was faster than you in drawing his wand, but also managed to blow up a whole street and transform into a rat at the same time? Oh, I almost forgot he also cut of his own finger, didn't he?" Severus mocked.

"Peter is an Animagus," Harry whispered. "And I do believe him, Severus. You can think me naive and gullible, but I believe him."

"He tried to kill me in sixth year," Severus spat.

"You were a nosy prat," Sirius snapped. "And that still doesn't mean that I would kill my best friend or Harry. Please, Harry..."

Harry stood up from the cot, moving into Sirius' arms and burying his head in the tattered robes. "I'm sorry."

"Don't," Sirius whispered back, inhaling the scent he so loved. "It was stupid to trust Pettigrew."

"Why did you, Sirius?" Harry demanded. "After what he tried to do to me, you just forgave him?"

"No, Harry, I never did," Sirius said softly, throwing a cautious look at Severus, who was watching them warily with his wand raised. "I cursed him so badly he spent the rest of the school year in St. Mungo's. He was expelled like Dumbledore had promised and he took his NEWTs more than a year later.

"I couldn't imagine that Voldemort would take Pettigrew in, it was just such an absurd idea. He was only a simpering weakling to me with no magical skills to speak of. I thought he would steer clear of Voldemort and his Death Eaters because I couldn't imagine that he would muster up enough courage to face them. He always admired James so much and he apologised so often for what he tried to do to you that even I thought he was really sorry. We began to trust him again, and it was clear that I was the obvious choice for being made secret keeper.

"I feared..." He swallowed heavily. "I searched for you everywhere and in one Order meeting - you know about the Order, don't you? - In one of our meetings, Snape said that Voldemort had been interested in you. I was afraid that somehow you had fallen into his hands and I... I loved James, he was my best friend, my brother, but I might have betrayed him if I would have got you back, safe and sound.

"So I suggested Peter. Harry, I will never forgive myself for that, but I didn't want them to die."

"I know," Harry said softly. "Severus?"

"It still seems like a load of codswallop to me." Severus scowled, but his expression softened as he saw Harry tense. "But I know how much you love Harry, Black, and that's the only reason why I want to believe in your innocence, but that doesn't help any. If you don't have any proof you will still spend the rest of your life in Azkaban."

"I think I have proof," Harry murmured, kissing Sirius' cheek. "I will get you out of here, I promise. Believe in me, please?"

"Always," Sirius answered softly. "I love you, Harry."

"I love you, too," Harry answered, taking Severus' hand in his. "I'll leave my Patronus for you and I'll try to hurry."

"I'll wait for you." Sirius smiled gently at him. "I have waited so long that this won't make much of a difference."

"It makes a difference to me," Harry replied before turning away, dragging Severus with him.

"I know he isn't lying," he said softly as the reached the exit again. "I can tell when a dominant is lying to me."

"I didn't say he is," Severus returned. "I used Leglimency on him. I wouldn't have let you go near him if I thought you were in danger from him. I know that he truly believes what he said, Harry, but that still doesn't make it true. Sixteen years on your own with Dementors as the only company can make you believe your own lies if you tell them to yourself often enough."

"I think I know where Peter is." Harry looked up at him, pleading. "Wouldn't that prove his innocence?"

Severus sighed, easily lifting Harry back into the boat, and wrapped his right arm around the petite boy. "Where?"

"The Weasleys," Harry stated confidently and then added softly, "Thank you." Severus only grunted.

The boat started moving again, the waves slapping against its sides as the building on the main land slowly moved back into their sight. Harry's hand felt cold in Severus' grasp and the Potion's Master knew that it would be a while before the usual warmth would return, before the voices of his past would fade away. He had never liked Black and he wouldn't bother to pretend now. Harry would see right through his lies, but could Harry also see through Black's lies?

Black's story wasn't completely impossible, though in Severus' opinion unlikely. Hadn't Black realised that even if he couldn't be the secret keeper himself that Pettigrew was a bad choice? But what Black had said was true, to some extent, because Remus had also forgiven Pettigrew after a while, claiming that if he could forgive Sirius for almost killing Severus, he could also forgive Peter for almost raping Harry. Severus wasn't as forgiving.

But why hadn't Black convinced the Potters to take Dumbledore as their secret keeper? He snorted at that thought, earning him a weird look from Harry, because he could think of a few reasons. Dumbledore had the air of a nice old grandfather, but he would just have loved to have that kind of power over the Potters to make them live their lives exactly how he wanted them, too. Severus trusted Dumbledore, but that didn't mean he would give the Headmaster even one ounce more power than was absolutely necessary.

But why not Remus? And here, too, the answer was glaringly obvious to the Potion's Master and he felt rage rise in his chest on behalf of his lover. Black and Potter had thought Remus was the traitor. Only a Gryffindor could jump to that conclusion and believe that weakness and cowardice was a substitute for loyalty and friendship. So did that mean that they had thought that Pettigrew's fear and his incompetence would keep them on their side, that he was a loyal enough secret keeper? Severus didn't know anymore.

When he had prodded Black's mind, the prisoner hadn't fought it though he was sure that Black had noticed the intrusion. For a split second, Black had turned his eyes away from Harry to glare at him, but then the surprisingly strong barriers around Black's mind gave way and snippets of memories passed in front of his eyes: The Dark Mark over the Potter's house. A crying baby in a damaged cradle, the famous scar burning an angry red. A conversation between Potter and Black, somewhere in a shabby shack with cracked furniture lying around, dusty and dirty. Black standing at his cell window, his fists balled. A busy street and a small man with a wand facing him, shouting. Those memories, they didn't prove anything, not his guilt, but not his innocence, either. Though if Severus was completely honest - and he made a point to be completely honest with himself at least - he had to admit that Pettigrew's betrayal seemed much more likely than Black's.

Black was a man he could grudgingly respect, but Pettigrew was weak and selfish and cowardly. Pettigrew had tried to rape Harry. Black might have tried to kill Severus, but to want to rape someone just because they felt neglected called for a whole different level of baseness.

His arm tightened around Harry's waist as he thought back to that day. Even though it lay almost twenty years in the past, it was still fresh in his mind. The look of fear on Harry's tear-stained face, the uncontrollable trembling of his limbs, the heart-wrenching sobs. How Black had immediately taken Harry in his arms and rocked him slightly, comforting him. How he had chosen to stay with Harry instead of taking his revenge on Pettigrew.

Severus knew without a doubt that Black loved Harry, that he would do anything for him. Would it be so bad to get him out of Azkaban so that he could take care of Harry even if he was guilty? It was certainly wrong, but wasn't it an option? Severus was willing to do about anything for Harry and in the state of mind Black was in at the moment, there was nothing he wouldn't do for Harry.

Black didn't have an obvious motive to join the Dark side and he had never seen him at a meeting. Could it be that the loss of his mate had driven him insane? It was likely, but Severus had also seen how Black had went back to his old cheerful self with baby Harry in his arms, how he had stopped brooding and relaxed slightly, telling the small Harry all about his parents and their school time, but most of all about his submissive Harry. It was rather ironic in hindsight. Black undoubtedly loved both Harrys while Pettigrew had seen them both as a nuisance.

"Can you apparate us?" Harry startled him out of his musings and he nodded, wrapping Harry in his arms before he whisked them away.

The first thought that passed through his mind as he saw the Burrow was how all the Weasleys could possibly fit in there. Then he decided that he didn't want to know. There were still lights on in the ground floor and in several of the bedrooms.

"Harry, we have a plan, right?" Severus stopped him. "Because assuming that Pettigrew is really here and really an Animagus, it could turn out difficult to get a hold of him, once he's warned."

"I think he's hiding as Ron's rat, Scabbers," Harry answered softly. "Ron always has him in his cage, and Hermione hexed it indestructible after Ron dropped it once."

"So we'll just go in there, take the rat and be gone again?" Severus raised one eyebrow skeptically.

"I thought you could do that spell that forces an Animagus back into their human form." Harry looked pleadingly at him. "Please, Severus? You've been so great so far, don't desert me now."

Severus scowled at him. "Playing the pity card on me is not one of your smartest moves, Harry." The elf just looked at him with big eyes, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. "That doesn't work on me, as you well know, brat," Severus continued not quite as sternly as he had planned. "Fine, wait a minute." Severus finally sighed, pulling Harry back to his chest, before he wove an Anti-Apparation Ward around the place, finishing his work with a simple magical border that would at least detain a possible escapee. "Now we can go. As if I would ever desert you, honestly."

"I knew you were a genius." Harry grinned cheekily up at him.

Severus scowled, but let himself be dragged down the overgrown pathway, almost stumbling over one single boot, which made his scowl deepen. Harry didn't loosen his grip on the Potion Master's hand as he knocked against the door frame, and Severus wasn't sure if it was because of nervousness or because Harry thought he might take the first chance to disappear into thin air and hide away in his safe rooms in Hogwarts. The thought was tempting.

"Oh, Harry dear." Molly Weasley pulled her surrogate son into her wide, strong arms before she even spared Severus a glance. "We didn't expect you. Come in, come in. I don't want you to catch a cold. Have you already eaten? I'll make you something. Ron! Hermione! Harry is here! Come down, you two."

She ushered them inside, giving Severus a warm smile, which irritated him a little, before she shouted up the stairs, dragging Harry into the kitchen.

"We just got an owl that you were back, dear." She pushed Harry down on one of the kitchen chairs, already pouring him a glass of pumpkin juice with her other hand. "Dumbledore suggested that you would need a bit of time to get settled. Ron and Hermione were going to visit you tomorrow..."

"Harry, you are back!" A bushy mop of brown hair rushed towards Harry, engulfing him in a hug. "I've just been packing my things for tomorrow. How was it in the past? Did you meet your parents? Did you keep up with your studies? You look..." She took a deep breath, critically assessing Harry's appearance. "What is bothering you? Is something wrong? Shouldn't you be in the school where you are safe?"

"Professor Snape came with me, Mione," Harry appeased her. "He's seeing to it that I don't do anything too stupid. Don't worry."

"Professor Snape." The young witch swirled around. "I didn't see you. How are you?"

"I'm quite fine, Miss Granger, thank you," Severus answered tersely, noting with trepidation as her eyes landed on his left hand that was still held by Harry.

"Oh, no, Harry." Hermione moaned, rapidly shaking her head. "Don't tell me you have fallen in love with Professor Snape. He's your teacher, Harry, it's against the school rules and - "

"Mione, stop!" Harry interrupted her, smiling absently at Mrs. Weasley, who put a plate full of food in front of him before leaving them alone. "Severus and I are friends, we're not together."

"But you are holding hands with him," Ron pointed out, disgust shining through his words as he made his way to the chair next to Harry's.

"Because it makes me feel safe," Harry argued, narrowing his eyes. "Please, don't be angry, Ron. Severus is great. He's become a good friend to me."

"Does that mean he won't take anymore points from us?" Ron asked hopefully, his eyes gleaming.

"Not at all, Mr. Weasley." Severus sneered at him. "Especially not after that demonstration of your abysmal potions skills before the holidays. I expect you for your detention Monday after dinner."

Ron's face fell and he started to grumble with displeasure.

"So how was it in the past? And have you met Sébastien yet? He is really nice, isn't he? He told me a lot about his work and his life. It was quite interesting," Hermione got back on track.

"And he plays Quidditch," Ron added. "I trained a bit with him and he helped us with our team. We're much better now. Won against Ravenclaw, in fact. When we win against Slytherin we have as good as won the Cup."

Severus sneered at him at the implication that Slytherin would lose.

"Yes, I've met him," Harry said softly. "He seems rather nice."

"I'm feeling a 'but'," Hermione observed. "What happened in the past? Besides the fact that you and Professor Snape became friends?"

Before long the whole story poured out of Harry and silent tears began to cascade down his cheeks as he came to the more recent events, though he hastily wiped them away.

"I've heard about him," Ron murmured. "Dad told us once. He said he's insane, Harry, that he laughed when they arrested him."

"Harry." Hermione grasped his free hand gently. "There was a good reason why they didn't give him a trial. All evidence pointed towards his guilt. Even though, of course, it's completely arbitrary and morally questionable."

"I know, Mione," Harry whispered. "But I also know him. My dad and he, they were like brothers. I can't believe that someone could change so drastically. That would be like you or Ron betraying me. If I can't believe in his innocence, I don't think I can believe in you, either. He was my dominant, he still is. I love him, only him."

"Harry, I can understand that this is hard for you, but you can't throw your life away just because he did so." Hermione squeezed his hand, maybe a bit too tightly.

"We went to Azkaban today." Harry ignored the startled gasps that followed that statement. "He said that it was Peter all along. Peter who betrayed my parents and Peter who killed those Muggles."

"How convenient that Peter Pettigrew is dead," Ron said without humour, and Harry glared at him.

"My father, Sirius and Peter became Animagi so that they could support Remus during the full moons," Harry explained. "My Patronus, it's my father, he could turn into a stag. Sirius is a dog Animagus and Peter is a rat."

"A rat?" Hermione's brow furrowed, a sure sign that she was thinking even faster than normally. "And Pettigrew, he..." She looked at Harry for confirmation and the elf nodded his head deliberately. "You think Peter is Scabbers."

"What?" Ron exclaimed. "Could you explain those mental leaps to me? What has Scabbers to do with anything?"

"They say that the largest piece they found of Peter was a finger. Sirius said Peter cut of his finger after he had publicly blamed everything on him," Harry said urgently. "Scabbers is missing a toe. And he has been in your family for how long, Ron?"

"He was Percy's," Ron muttered before his eyes widened. "Sixteen years, but..."

"Please, Ron, let us check," Harry begged. "I need to know."

"Fine." Ron sighed. "He's up in my room, sleeping. Not that he ever does anything else."

Severus thought that no amount of light and fresh air was worth it to have to climb such stairs as he followed Harry's insistent tug on his hand. Then he decided that he would have a phobia of orange for the rest of his life, provided that his eyes would ever recover from the shock as Ron switched on the light. The room was orange, messy, like the rooms of most teenagers, orange, with no apparent kind of order in the way clothes, books, sweets and rolls of parchments were thrown on the floor and orange. But nonetheless, Ron found his sleeping rat in a cage under a pile of robes and comics with an ease that commanded Severus' grudging admiration.

Harry carefully extended his hand, putting it against the bars of the cage, cocking his head and sniffing cautiously.

"And?" Severus asked impatiently. "Do you still want me to do the spell?"

Harry nodded his head, carefully lifting the still sleeping rat from its cage after Ron had opened the door and put it on the floor. The rat didn't wake under Harry's gentle touch, but Harry's face hardened almost imperceptibly, and he grabbed Ron's arm for support.

A blue-white light shot from Severus' wand and three pairs of eyes widened as the small fat rat twitched and convulsed before a human head grew out of the rat, then a body and finally the limbs.

"Sweet Merlin," Severus muttered in shock, but his wand was steady as he pointed it at his old year mate, who was looking up at them with watery eyes.

Hermione stared at the Animagus and cautiously took a step back before she pulled her wand and quickly locked the door and barred the only window.

Ron had gone pale, his freckles contrasting sharply with his bloodless face, but he followed Hermione's example and also trained his wand on his former pet.

"Peter," Harry said neutrally, seeming the only one who was really calm in the room. "Do you remember me?"

"P... Parker," the plump man squeaked, his eyes jumping from one face to the other.

"Potter, actually," Harry answered. "You are responsible for my parents' death, if that helps your memory."

"N... No, no, Harry, sweet child, I don't know what you are talking about," Pettigrew stuttered, his forehead glistening with sweat. "It was Sirius."

"Don't you dare, say his name," Harry hissed dangerously. "How dare you grow fatter and fatter while he suffers in Azkaban for your crime, how dare you lie to me, how dare you to breathe?"

"I didn't do anything," the Animagus squeaked, still sitting on the floor.

"That's a bit hard to believe, Pettigrew," Severus spoke up, running his hands up and down Harry's spine to calm him down. "That an innocent would choose to live sixteen years as a rat, hiding from his old friends."

"Not my friends, no," Peter exclaimed. "From Sirius, he wants to kill me, he's after me. He wants to finish the job for Voldemort."

"You are giving yourself too much credit, I assure you." Severus sneered. "Why would the Dark Lord care about such an unimportant, weak wizard like yourself? Unless he had a personal reason to want revenge, say, if you had told him how to find the Potters and had ultimately brought about his downfall? Now, Black, that's another matter, but he's still in Azkaban. One might assume you were quite safe from him..."

"You-Know-Who came back and he will free him," Pettigrew said after a pause.

"That's curious, isn't it?" Severus mused. "That the Dark Lord shows such a lack of interest in his supposedly most loyal Death Eater, after all the Lestranges were freed as was Rockwood and several others. I guess they forgot Black, didn't they?"

Peter silently moved his lips, but seemed to be unable to form actual words as his eyes flitted over the room, lingering on the door behind Severus.

"If... that man is a Death Eater," Ron said cautiously, looking apologetically at Harry, "why is he still here? Why didn't he join You-Know-Who?"

"Peter Pettigrew would not give up any perceived comfort, such as the care he received as your pet, Mr. Weasley, for supporting the Dark Lord." Severus sneered. "I assure you that most Death Eaters who had a choice in that matter did not join the Dark Lord after his return. The Dark Lord is not known for the good treatment of his followers. Am I not right, Pettigrew?"

Severus' face twisted into a grimace of disgust and true loathing as tears began to splatter down the other man's pasty cheeks and then he swiftly kicked him. "I should have known the moment you lay your dirty hands on Harry. Get up!"

As Pettigrew failed to obey and instead mumbled and pleaded, Severus stupefied and then shrunk him, something that Harry clearly remembered should never be done to a breathing being.

"Mr. Weasley, if you could inform your father of what we just discovered so that he may floo the Ministry and the Headmaster?" Severus asked in a voice that clearly indicated that he thought Ron should have done so in the first place. "Harry, I want you to go to bed."

"But I want to - "

"You look dead on your feet and you will under no circumstances once again go to Azkaban." Severus scowled at him. "Don't think I didn't notice that you nearly passed out or how pale you were. I assure you I'm quite capable of getting Black out of there."

"Will you floo Remus?" Harry asked and Severus nodded dutifully, absently squeezing the shrunken Animagus back into the cage. "And you promise me?"

"Yes, I promise if you go and sleep now." Severus glared at him until Harry had crawled into Ron's bed and then carefully tucked him in. "When you wake up Black will be out of Azkaban and back here. I promise."

"Thank you, Severus," Harry mumbled. "I know I've been annoying you."

"It was a very brave thing to do, Harry," Severus told him earnestly. "Something that Remus would probably also have done for me. Black is very lucky to have you."

Harry blushed, closing his eyes as Severus unfolded his long legs and strode from the room, the cage dangling in his hand.

"Wow," Hermione said softly, sinking down on the bed next to Harry. "He really likes you. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes. And then Pettigrew..."

"Yes," Harry said softly.

"What did Professor Snape mean when he said that Pettigrew lay his hands on you, Harry?" Hermione asked after a while. "Why exactly is it that you came back? Dumbledore said that they would let you stay until after Christmas."

Before Harry could answer the door opened once more and Ron slipped into the room, closing the door softly behind him. "Dad contacted the Aurors and they took that rat with them for interrogations. Snape and Dumbledore went with them, too."

He also crawled onto the bed, lying down behind Harry so that the smaller boy was sandwiched between him and Hermione.

"What did your parents say?" Harry asked, craning his neck to look at his best friend.

"Nothing much, I think they are still in shock. Mum started crying when she heard the whole story and now she's baking to ease her nerves. Dad is just staring out into space." Ron shrugged. "I guess he blames himself because the Ministry didn't look deeper into all this. Apparently, he knew Black and Pettigrew though not too well."

"The Ministry made a big mistake to not give him a trial," Hermione stated. "It's against all legal principles, maybe that will make them realise that they are not above the law, either, and that everyone deserves fair treatment."

"Mione, not spew again." Ron groaned. "We have other things to discuss right now."

"Just because you are keen to push everything unpleasant as far away from you as possible, it doesn't make it less real," Hermione hissed at him. "You have to see things in the greater connection."

"I was only suggesting that Harry might be a little bit more important at the moment than the house-elves," Ron grumbled. "Excuse me, if I care more about my best friend than about some nameless creature."

"They have names!" Hermione exclaimed.

"But I don't know them," Ron shouted back and Harry covered his ears, burying his head in the pillows. "And most of them **are** happy, Hermione."

"It's still wrong," Hermione argued, scowling at him, waving impatiently when Ron opened his mouth again. "But maybe they can wait a bit longer. Harry, you haven't answered my question. What happened in the past with Pettigrew?"

"He was jealous because Sirius was spending more time with me and he was... angry because he didn't have anyone," Harry whispered. "He tried to... force himself on me because he thought Sirius wouldn't want me anymore if he did. But Remus came just in time."

"That swine!" Ron shouted, outraged, cracking his knuckles in a credible imitation of Crabbe and Goyle. "That disgusting little piece of shit! I'll kill him if I ever see him again!"

"Are you okay, Harry?" Hermione asked with concern.

"I'm fine. Still, a bit shaken perhaps, but I'm okay. Nothing happened," Harry appeased her. "But it was hard to leave Sirius immediately afterwards."

"Tell us about him," Hermione requested. "If he is your mate we will see him quite often."

"Yeah, tell us about the man who captured ickle Harry's heart," Ron teased him good-naturedly.

Harry smiled a bit dreamily, rolling around to his back to stare at the orange ceiling. "He's sweet and caring and really possessive. He was one of the best in their year, but he never spent more than an hour with his homework as a matter of principle. He is really tall, with black hair and he used to be really tan. He never played on the Quidditch team, but he was one of the reserve beaters. He was really good. He doesn't get along with his family very well because they didn't approve of him being a Gryffindor. He laughs a lot and loves to play pranks. He... He's just perfect."

Harry blushed brightly as Ron laughed at him, ruffling his hair. "Sounds like it, mate. If he's like that and treats you right you have my approval."

"Mine, too," Hermione added at Harry's questioning glance. "Anyone who can make you that happy is fine with me. And he must be something special if you went to Azkaban for him."

"Thank you." Harry smiled at them. "But I should really sleep now or Severus will kill me..."

"Man, it's weird when you call him Severus," Ron murmured. "It makes him seem so... human, I guess."

Harry chuckled softly. "I can stay here, can't I?"

"Sure." Ron nodded. "Do you want us to stay as well? Mione read something about that you would feel nervous if you're left alone, didn't you, Mione?"

"Oh, so you do at least listen to me." Hermione sniffed.

"That would be great," Harry interrupted them before they could start another quarrel.

"I'll get some more blankets," Ron offered, standing up.

Hermione stood up as well, looking around the room for a moment before she enlarged the bed with a swish of her wand, levitating Ron's things out of the way, just as Ron re-entered the room with an armful of blankets.

"You have to tell us everything tomorrow," Hermione stated, lying down next to Harry, who didn't reply because he was already fast asleep.

"Let him sleep, Mione," Ron murmured. "You know how Dementors affect him."

"He looks better, though, doesn't he?" Hermione returned. "Better than before he went into the past, I mean."

"I guess he's starting to get used to being an elf," Ron answered, shrugging slightly. "That was the purpose for this, wasn't it? I mean I doubt that they meant for him to fall in love with Black."

"Of course not." Hermione rolled her eyes. "Though they should have at least considered it. After all, he was the only possible candidate and I read that submissive elves automatically try to find a protector or dominant. That's also why Mr. Malfoy wasn't happy with this solution at all. I think he expected something like this."

"I expected something like this, too." Ron chuckled. "That's just Harry for you. And you have to admit it could be worse, Black could actually **be** a criminal."

"That's not funny, Ron." Hermione scowled at him. "Even if Mr. Black is exactly how Harry pictured him to be, he's still old enough to be Harry's father and Merlin knows how much Azkaban damaged him. He might be insane or cold-hearted or out for revenge on everyone who wronged him."

"Or he could still love Harry," Ron reminded her gently. "We will see, Mione. I trust Harry's judgment."

Hermione scrunched up her nose. "Harry is a bit naive sometimes, you can't deny that, and sometimes he has very curious notions of what is right and wrong. It just doesn't seem very sensible to let a stranger suddenly take care of him. Look what happened with him and Malfoy."

"Harry knew that he couldn't trust him," Ron muttered angrily. "And I'm sure they'll take precautions so that something like that won't happen again. They'll test Black before they let him even look at Harry. Don't worry, Mione, okay? Whatever happens, we'll be there for him. Let's sleep now."

Hermione sighed deeply, but closed her eyes, listening as Ron's breathing evened out, turning into a light snore and finally, she also drifted off to sleep.

* * *

_My hand hurts and I should be doing stuff for college, but despite this I updated so I think I deserve a bunch of reviews..._


	19. Friends

_Disclaimer: See first chapter._

_Author's Note: My, it has once again been quite long, hasn't it? Hope you haven't lost interest in the mean time. This chapter is **not betaed**. Any mistakes you find, you can keep. Isn't that a nice present? I thought so, too. Anyway, hope you enjoy._

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**19. FRIENDS**

Meanwhile in Azkaban, Sirius sat in his small dark cell, shivering as another Dementor passed his cell. Harry's Patronus had long faded. Maybe Harry wouldn't come back for several weeks, all the paper work, maybe he needed a lawyer, maybe he wouldn't come back at all.

Maybe he hadn't even been there, after all it was about time that he went insane. Maybe he already was; he doubted that you were aware of becoming insane. But if he had only imagined Harry, wouldn't that mean that he could will him back? After sixteen years in Azkaban insanity seemed like a remarkably good prospect.

He closed his eyes, leaning more heavily against the cold stone wall and tried to imagine Harry. How he would smile at him, caress his cheek with thin fingers, kiss him; how warmth and love would radiate off of him; how his eyes would sparkle, his skin would glow, his hair feel under his fingers, his voice whisper something in his ear that would send a pleasant tingle down his spine.

"Sirius?" Fast steps approached his cell and he slowly blinked his eyes open, focusing his attention on the door that painfully slid open.

"You are not Harry," he stated, watching Remus with something akin to disinterest as the werewolf nervously lingered in the doorway.

"No, I'm not, Sirius," Remus answered hesitantly, unsure what he should think about this attitude.

"I guess I'm not insane enough then," Sirius muttered.

"What are you talking about, Sirius?" Remus asked, carefully sitting down on the cot next to the Animagus; the door was left open.

"I tried to imagine that Harry was here, like I've seen earlier." The black-haired man shrugged. "Instead you came."

"Harry was here, Sirius," Remus replied. "Severus didn't want him to go to Azkaban once more so I came instead to get you. I can go again if you want me to. I just thought it would be nice if someone familiar was here to fetch you."

"Fetch me?" Sirius whispered disbelievingly. "For what?"

"You're free, Sirius." Remus smiled sadly at him. "You're innocent."

Sirius raised an eyebrow skeptically, his mouth twisting into a hard, humourless smile. "As if that makes a difference."

"It does to some," Remus said softly. "And Harry has a lot of influence. You wouldn't believe how much power he wields. I'm sorry I didn't believe you."

"Ah, so you believe me now?" Sirius returned still in a far-away voice. "What changed your mind?" Before Remus could answer, he continued, "But I guess I can't expect you to trust me when I didn't trust you, can I?" Sirius shook his head.

"Please, forgive me," Remus asked.

"Only if you do, too. I thought if anyone was the traitor it would be you, with you being together with Snape and all. Pettigrew, he just seemed... We've both been exceptionally stupid."

"That's true." Remus laughed in relief, hugging Sirius fiercely, who returned the hug albeit stiffly. "Let's get you out of here. Harry is waiting for you."

"He still wants me?" Sirius asked lowly and the cot gave a groaning noise as they stood up.

"For him only three days passed, Sirius," Remus reassured him. "And he loves you or do you think he would have gone to Azkaban just to see some random criminal?"

"I had hoped not." Sirius smiled without much humour and followed Remus out of his prison.

It was strange to walk the corridors without the presence of Dementors or guards that were usually there when they took him to his health check every half year. That was the only time he had got out, anyway. He could sense Remus throwing him surreptitious glances as he stumbled several times, but he was still surprised when there suddenly was a supportive arm around his waist and when Remus put one of his own arms over his shoulders, hoisting him up.

"Come on, Paddy," he murmured encouragingly. "We're almost there."

Sirius groaned, his legs protesting already. The Dementors didn't invite you to do some kind of fitness training and even if he had wanted to do something to keep his strength and muscles intact, the cell was too small and the presence of the Dementors too heavy. The Dementors robbed him of any motivation he might have had.

"What will happen now?" he croaked, trying with all his might to ignore the nauseating rocking motion of the boat in order to keep the chocolate Remus had given him down.

"They are going to question you under Veritaserum," Remus said softly, chancing a quick look to the shivering man beside him. "That is if you want to see Harry. If you don't want to, you're more or less free to go after they checked that you're really Sirius Black."

"Of course, I want to see Harry," Sirius exclaimed incredulously.

"Then you'll have to bear with some tests and Dumbledore's and everyone else's surveillance," Remus stated. "I doubt that they'll leave you alone with him any time soon."

"Doesn't the Ministry want some proof that it happened like I told Harry?" Sirius asked.

Remus gritted his teeth and his eyes turned a bit more yellow than amber. "Pettigrew was hiding at the Weasley's in his Animagus form. Severus and Harry captured him and Severus handed him over to the Aurors. From what I've heard so far, he gave a full confession and Severus also told your view of the story. I don't think that you'll have to testify until Pettigrew is tried."

"How did Harry know that he was there?" Sirius questioned, almost falling from his seat as the boat harshly thumped against the quay.

"He's friends with the whole family. Their youngest son is his best friend." Remus offered Sirius his hand to help him out of the boat. "You look like shit," he observed, seeing Sirius' emaciated, pale face for the first time in the dim light of the torches that lined the quay and the way to the administration building.

After a look into Remus embarrassed, uncomfortable face, Sirius gave a bark-like laugh, doubling over as tears started to stream over his cheeks.

"Ah, Sirius, how good to see that you haven't lost your humour." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he approached the two Marauders; a disgruntled Severus followed him.

Sirius slowly straightened up, slipping a mask of indifference over his face. "Headmaster."

The old man's smile dimmed, but he nodded in understanding. "I'm really sorry for this, Sirius. I hope you can forgive me one day."

"I would like to see my mate now, if you please," Sirius said sharply.

"Of course, Sirius, if you could just give me an hour of your time." The Headmaster smiled benevolently at him. "I think you need to sign some papers for the Ministry and then I would also like to have a word with you."

"You don't trust me," Sirius stated evenly.

"Not with Harry, no, I don't," the white-haired wizard agreed honestly. "You will understand that we all are a little cautious when it comes to a submissive elf."

"I don't trust you with him, either." Sirius sighed, but then allowed Remus to lead him to the small, shabby building.

He had to sign several discharge papers and got back the few possessions they had taken from him all those years ago: his wallet, his bunch of keys, a flyer for a joke shop opening that was of course a long time in the past, a pocket knife, his part of the two-way mirror he had shared with James and at last his wand.

The atmosphere was tense as everyone, bare Snape, seemed to be embarrassed and feel guilty about his imprisonment. The burly, old wizard who he quite acutely remembered had laughed and spat at him as they brought him in apologised profusely, offered him tea and his lunch sandwich, both of which he declined. The chocolate from earlier was still rebelling in his stomach.

Finally, they were allowed to go and Dumbledore held out a portkey that was supposed to bring him to the Weasley's, his Harry. But as they landed, he not only lost his footing, which had never happened before, but he also emptied the meagre contents of his stomach in the grass. He had been aiming for Snape's shoes, of course, but the professor had reacted too fast and so he didn't even have that small satisfaction as he puked his guts out.

He was than manoeuvred into a small, homey kitchen, overflowing with bustling people and the clattering pots and cutlery. He blearily stared down at the worn table, trying to ignore the droning voices that were debating his fate, considering if they should cart him off to St. Mungo's or better yet to the next best graveyard. Snape's suggestion, of course. Bastard. _Where is Harry?_

He must have asked that out loud because suddenly there was a hush in the noise and Remus almost crooned in his ear that Harry was sleeping, but that he would be able to see him soon. If he would like a tea, perhaps?

Sirius very much doubted that Remus had actually expected an answer to that because soon his cold hands were wrapped around a warm pot of tea. It smelled like herbal tea, too little sugar, but although Sirius grimaced at the taste, the hot beverage managed to revive his spirits and his eyes gained focus again.

Remus was sitting next to him, his forehead creased in harsh worry lines that contrasted sharply with his warm amber eyes and the encouraging smile that lifted his lips. Dumbledore was sitting opposite of him, merrily and patiently rocking on the newly transfigured rocking chair as if he didn't have a care but all the time in the world. The dark, thin shadow of Severus Snape was the complete opposite of that and Sirius glared at him as a feeble attempt to bring his life back into its usual course. The Weasley couple was also in the room, he thin and slender with thinning red hair and she a motherly plump woman with her arms elbow-deep in a pastry bowl.

His situation wasn't that bad, definitely better than in Azkaban.

"Feeling better?" Remus for the forth time put his hand on his forehead to check for fever, and Sirius merely rolled his eyes and tiredly batted the werewolf's hand away before taking another long sip of the tea.

"I'm fine, Moony," he growled in annoyance. "Just tired and I would really like to see Harry now. What are you waiting for? Just give me Veritaserum or whatever you deem necessary. I can feel him just upstairs and if you don't get this over with, I'll go see him without your permission, Headmaster. I've done my waiting."

Dumbledore gave Severus a sign, who extracted a small vial from his robe pocket and held it out to Sirius. "Two drops should be enough."

Sirius nodded, obediently dribbling the clear liquid into the rest of his tea and then gulped everything down.

"What is your name?" Dumbledore asked as the younger man's eyes became glassy and his tense posture slumped a little.

"Sirius Orion Black," Sirius answered tonelessly.

"Were you or were you not James and Lily Potter's secret keeper?" Dumbledore continued and Arthur Weasley poised his quill to protocol everything.

"I was not. Peter Pettigrew was their secret keeper. I told James that it would be safer like this."

"Did you ever support Voldemort or one of his Death Eater's in their cause?"

"No, I have never supported them."

"Is Harry James Potter your mate?"

"Yes, he is. I have tried to find him since he left."

"Do you mean Harry any harm or do you plan to support Voldemort or one of his Death Eaters in future?"

"No, I love Harry. His enemies are my enemies. I will protect him," he said, slowly coming out of his daze. "Can I see Harry, now?"

Dumbledore looked pensive, but finally nodded and Sirius jumped up from his chair, swaying dangerously.

"Go easy on yourself," Remus reprimanded him, pushing him back into his chair. "It won't help Harry any if you kill yourself."

"But I want to see him," Sirius all but whined and Remus rolled his eyes.

"Maybe you should first take a nice hot shower or even better a bath and then eat something decent," Molly tutted. "You can stay here of course. I'll make you something to eat."

The thought alone of food turned Sirius' stomach and he told the bustling witch as much, who seemed to be really disappointed that her freshly made apple-pie would not land in his stomach.

"But a bath would be great," Sirius admitted, tugging in disgust on his matted hair.

"Of course." Molly smiled. "The bathroom is just up the stairs, the third door on the right. And then maybe a good night's rest? You can have Percy's old room, it's right next to the bathroom."

"Thank you." Sirius stood up much more slowly this time, managing to fight down the dizziness he felt. "Good night, everyone."

"Do you need help, Sirius?" Remus asked in concern, standing up as well. "I'll help you."

"I'm a big boy, Moony." Sirius waved him away. "I can wash myself."

Remus looked rather doubtful, but slowly sank back into his chair. Sirius carefully climbed the steps, wondering whether he was only imagining them to be so askew as his vision blurred and cleared in irregular intervals. Still, he purposefully followed the enticing smell that wafted towards him and finally gently and silently pushed the door open, stepping inside.

There was his small mate, sleeping peacefully between a brown-haired girl and undoubtedly another Weasley. Sirius growled softly, his veela side wanting nothing more than to throw those two out of the window so that they wouldn't dare touch his Harry ever again. Harry shifted a little, unconsciously distancing himself from the other two youths and moving a little closer to Sirius, who slowly approached the bed, smiling tenderly.

He carefully leaned around the bushy haired girl, pressing a soft kiss to Harry's forehead. "Sleep on, Harry, I will come for you later."

Harry sighed a little, leaning into Sirius' hand that was gently caressing his cheek, but didn't wake up.

"What are you doing?" The redhead suddenly stared at him, protectively putting an arm around Harry's waist. "Who are you?"

"Sirius Black," Sirius murmured lowly, only briefly shifting his attention to the other boy before turning back to Harry. "Would you be able to show me where the bathroom is?"

"What?" Ron asked in clear confusion. "You just have to go down the stairs. There's always a light on."

"I was trying to be subtle and polite in getting you away from my mate," Sirius growled at him. "Let him go before I make you. I don't appreciate you touching him."

"That's just too bad, isn't it?" Hermione had woke up as well and inconspicuously reached for her wand now pressing it against the Animagus' throat. "Because Harry is our friend. Off of the bed, now."

Sirius gulped visibly and then carefully straightened up, staring warily at them. He slowly raised his hands in surrender, smiling conciliatorily while he tried to tell his raging veela side that they did not mean Harry any harm.

"So you're Harry's mate," Hermione murmured more to herself, regarding him attentively, but relaxing her grip on her wand. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Hermione Granger."

"Hello, Hermione," Sirius greeted her, inclining his head lightly. "It's nice to meet you, too. Harry has told me about you."

"He did?" Hermione asked, surprised, but Ron interrupted her as she lowered her wand, "Are you crazy? He might be dangerous."

"Oh, honestly, Ron." Hermione rolled her eyes. "You were the one who said we should give him a chance earlier."

"Well, yes." Ron's ears tinted pink. "But that was before I found him leaning over Harry like that. He's crazy or something."

Hermione scowled at him. "Or something? How often have you tucked Harry in?"

"That's different," Ron protested. "Harry's my little brother, I'm allowed to do that."

"He's his mate, he's allowed to do that, too," Hermione argued.

"Since when are you on his side anyway?" Ron snapped testily. "Don't tell me he's another Lockheart."

Sirius noticed in confusion that Hermione started blushing as well. "You were the one lusting after Fleur!" Hermione retorted.

"That wasn't my fault, she's a fucking veela."

"My point exactly." Hermione smirked.

"That's not a point," Ron muttered.

"Look." Sirius finally had enough - he was exhausted, he was tired and he really wanted that bath now. "I just wanted to see Harry and make sure that he's alright. I'll just go and take that bath now, but I can't promise anything if I come back and you're once again in one bed with my mate."

"See, he's doing it again," Ron hissed at Hermione. "How can you be on his side?"

"He's just possessive, that's what veelas do." Hermione rolled her eyes, "And I'm on Harry's side. Think about what he would say to all this."

"But..." Sirius turned away, throwing one last longing look at Harry's sleeping form, and reluctantly went back down to the bathroom.

The bathroom was just as modest and askew as the rest of the house, but clean. It had a moderately sized tub, which began to fill with warm, clean water as he tapped the water faucet with his wand, something that he had seldom had and never in that combination in the last decade. He decided that he should really stop comparing everything to his stay in Azkaban before he started to consider Snape a sunny man.

Still, he hadn't thought that he had attracted so much dirt and grime. He grimaced as the water darkened after only a few hasty scrubs to his skin and he resigned himself to the fact that it would take much longer than anticipated to get clean. Sirius closed his eyes after he had got rid of the first layer of dirt and relaxed into the tub, soaking in the warm water. He had dimmed the light so that it wouldn't hurt his eyes and after also cleaning the water with his wand, he felt drained. He really needed to work on that and on his body. He scowled at his haggard form, the ribs that protruded, the sunken abdomen, the bony hands. Harry wouldn't want him like this, if at all.

What disgusted him even more was his hair, filthy, matted, greasy, plain disgusting. His eyes fell on a pair of scissors on the shelf next to the fogged mirror and after a bit of stretching and almost losing his balance he finally held them in his hand and started to radically cut his hair. He would rather walk around bald than with this louse-infected, sore excuse for hair!

After he had practically scrubbed his skin raw in an attempt to get rid of the age-old dirt, cut his hair so that there was barely a stumble left, had vigorously brushed his teeth and shaved properly, he felt much better.

"Paddy?" Remus called through the door right on cue as he was looking around the room for something to wear. "I've got some clothes for you here. Can I come in?"

"Sure," Sirius answered softly so as to not put a strain on his voice; the werewolf's fine ears would pick up his answer.

"Geez." Remus rolled his eyes, quickly closing the door behind him and turning away. "I thought you'd at least use a towel to cover yourself."

"Nothing you haven't seen yet." Sirius chuckled, gratefully taking the clothes Remus handed him over his shoulder; he noted with surprise that they were his own.

"I cleared your apartment," Remus explained as if he had sensed Sirius' confusion. "I rented it out and donated the money. Some of it goes to Harry. I didn't want it. I burnt most of your clothes, but I kept everything else. I gave it to Gringotts to put it in your vault."

"Why did you keep those clothes?" Sirius asked, slipping on the pair of stone-washed jeans and a dark blue hoodie sweater, his favourite clothes.

"Sentimentality, I guess." Remus shrugged, embarrassed. "I've seen you so often in those clothes. I didn't want to forget you completely, despite what I thought you had done. You're still one of my pack."

"Thanks." Sirius grinned. "You can turn around, you know?"

Remus did so, assessing Sirius critically. "You look better."

"Really, Remus, I could have pulled a paper bag over my head and I would have looked better," Sirius teased him.

Remus smiled agreeably. "Severus made you a potion to help you recover more quickly."

"So you're still together with that git?" Sirius asked, warily eyeing the potion.

"I'm still together with Severus." Remus scowled at him. "Well, not still, they was a time when I didn't feel like being around people." He didn't need to elaborate when this had been. "We got back together in Harry's third year when I was the Defence teacher."

"A teacher?" Sirius laughed. "I had always hoped, you would put that idea out of your mind."

"Sorry, to disappoint you." The werewolf smiled. "I'm teaching again this year."

Sirius shrugged. "It suits you, I guess. Are you sure that your boyfriend isn't trying to poison me?"

"Pretty sure, yes." Remus nodded and Sirius drank the potion in one go, supporting himself against the basin as another dizzy spell hit him.

"Merlin, this tastes awful."

"Come on, I'll get you to your room," Remus suggested, allowing Sirius to lean heavily on him. "You'll feel better in the morning."

"I couldn't possibly feel any worse." Sirius groaned pitifully as Remus gently pushed him into Percy's room that was much more orderly than Ron's and looked almost like a cell in a monastery. "Moony, I want to see Harry."

He struggled weakly as the werewolf resolutely put him into bed, changing him into a pair of Remus' pyjamas that hung loosely around his thin frame, though they used to be of similar build and stature.

"Harry is sleeping, Sirius," Remus reprimanded him gently. "And you need your sleep as well. Do you want Harry to worry about you when you pass out on top of him?"

"I haven't seen him for so long," Sirius whispered. "I miss him."

"I know, Paddy," Remus consoled him, performing a warming charm on the blankets when Sirius started to shiver. "But you need your rest."

"I'm fine, Remus," Sirius argued. "I didn't survive sixteen years in Azkaban to now die from climbing a few steps. I want to live again and not 'take it easy'."

"I don't want to lose you after I finally got you back," Remus growled. "Do you think it was easy to think that you had betrayed Lily and James and killed Peter? Do you think it was easy to tell Harry that the man he loved was the cause for his parents' death? Do you think I can brush it off so easily that I never doubted your guilt, that I never even came to ask for your reasons? Damnit, Sirius, I feel so guilty and I'm sorry that I'm annoying you, but that's the only way I know how to deal with this and to make it at least a little up to you - "

"Remus, you don't have to make up for anything," Sirius replied soothingly, patting the werewolf's hand which was curled up in a tight fist. "Even if you had come to visit me and had believed me it wouldn't have changed anything. There was no evidence and they wouldn't even have considered the words of a werewolf and a Black. I don't blame you, really, I don't. If I had been in your position I don't think I would have believed me, either. Sounds pretty crazy, doesn't it?"

"Harry believed you," Remus argued softly. "He knew you less than half a year and he didn't doubt you for a minute."

"I'm his dominant," Sirius stated. "It's in his nature to believe in me whatever foolish thing I do."

"Still, I should have known."

"It's over, Remus." Sirius sighed. "I'll recover and then everything will be back to normal. I'm fine."

"Are you really? Be honest," Remus demanded, locking his eyes with the Animagus. "How do you feel?"

"I'm relieved and happy and also really grateful, but I can't help to be confused and nervous," Sirius answered after a bit of hesitation. "My mate Harry is the same as my godson Harry? He came from the future and I searched for him three years in vain? My Harry defeated Voldemort, he's the boy-who-lived? Merlin, Remus, look at me, I look like shit and in comparison to Harry I'm an old man. Will he even want me now? What if he doesn't want me? What good does it do to be out of Azkaban if I can't have him?"

"Sirius, Harry is anything but superficial. He couldn't care less if you look like a top model or like the Scrooge. He loves you, that's the only thing that matters for him," Remus answered earnestly. "Like you said you're his dominant, don't worry so much, okay?"

"But he's still my godson," Sirius argued. "I'm sure Prongs didn't mean it like this when he said I should take care of Harry. That's like incest!"

"They wanted Harry and you to be happy." Remus sighed. "I know that you can make Harry happy. Do you think he can make you happy?"

"Of course," Sirius exclaimed.

"Then I don't see a problem, Paddy," Remus concluded. "Talk with Harry about it if you think it is necessary and let him decide if he wants you as his mate or as his godfather, but don't push him away just to protect him or something like that. And don't deny it, you have been thinking about doing exactly that."

Sirius mumbled something that sounded clearly displeased, but didn't protest openly.

"The potion doesn't work if you keep him awake, wolf." Severus opened the door without knocking first, scowling at the two Marauders. "I'm almost positive that Black doesn't need someone to hold his hand. Hurry up."

"Wolf? You are together and he still calls you wolf?" Sirius seemed to waver between anger and amusement.

"You know Severus." Remus shrugged. "It was either wolf or Lupin. I thought wolf was a bit more personal..."

Sirius laughed. "Better you than me, Moony. I wouldn't want to be in your place."

"Good night, Sirius," Remus didn't deign him a reply and got up. "And don't try sneaking off to Harry. I can still hear Hermione and Ron arguing."

Sirius had already closed his eyes, snuggling a bit deeper into the soft mattress and the warm blankets. Remus quietly closed the door behind him and then went downstairs to find Severus who was impatiently waiting for him.

* * *

_Good? Bad? Boring? Confusing? Idiotic? A waste of your time?_

_Tell me!_


	20. Breakfast in Bed

_Disclaimer: Not mine! See first chapter if you want more details._

_Author's Note: This chapter turned out to be rather short, but I hope you'll still like it. Enjoy!_

_Beta: TheElementalMaster, thank you for all your help and feel better soon... no, wait, immediately :-)_

* * *

**20. BREAKFAST IN BED**

Sirius slowly blinked his eyes open, trying to remember where he was. He lay on a soft, clean surface; he was warm and a few rays of sunlight tickled his nose, compelling him to sneeze; a delicious scent of ham and eggs wafted into his nose and then there were delicate hands, timidly running through his short hair, caressing his scalp.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Harry whispered, his hands stilling.

"The best wake-up call I ever had." Sirius grinned up at him before swiftly pulling Harry down on the bed next to him, possessively enclosing him in his arms. "Good morning, my beautiful Harry."

Harry giggled as Sirius nuzzled his neck, taking several deep breaths of Harry's unique scent, and wrapped his arms around the veela's neck. "Are you okay, Sirius?"

"Now, I am." Sirius assured him, drawing back slightly to touch Harry's pale face, mesmerised. "Thank you."

"I made you breakfast," Harry stated, motioning to a tray he had put on the night table. "Well, Mrs. Weasley made you breakfast, to be honest." He blushed. "I only brought it up."

"Breakfast and you both in bed?" Sirius chuckled. "I don't think my life can get any better."

"Are you angry at me?" Harry asked nervously after a while in which Sirius had continued tracing every line of Harry's face to refresh his memory of his small submissive.

"Why would I be angry?" Sirius's fingers stopped and rested lightly against his cheekbone.

"Because you got thrown into Azkaban, because I ruined your life, because I lied to you, because..." Harry answered, nearly hysterical.

"Shh." Sirius gently put his finger to Harry's lips, silencing him. "That I was imprisoned had nothing to do with you and everything to do with Pettigrew. You aren't at fault. I assume that they ordered you not to tell us anything about the future so I'm not angry because you didn't, either. You never lied to me or anyone else; you told us as much as you were allowed to and told us when you couldn't answer. That's not considered lying, Harry." He tenderly brushed a strand of inky black hair out of the smaller creature's face. "And you certainly didn't ruin my life. If you think that, I must have done something seriously wrong."

"You didn't do anything wrong," Harry protested at once and the veela chuckled lightly.

"I must have when instead of enjoying this delicious smelling breakfast and your company I have to convince you that I'm not angry."

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered. "I'll be quiet now."

"No." Sirius groaned. "I don't want you to bottle up your feelings. Tell me when something is bothering you, please?"

"I don't want to annoy you," Harry murmured, turning his head away.

"You won't, Prongslet, I'm here to protect you, and love you, and not to abuse you," Sirius said softly. "I promise, you won't annoy me."

"Prongslet?" Harry looked up in confusion, noting that Sirius was blushing lightly, which could only be seen because he had become so pale.

"I used to call you that when you were a baby," Sirius mumbled barely intelligible. "You know because of James. I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"It's hardly appropriate." Sirius looked almost as bewildered as Harry himself. "This here." He waved elaborately. "It's already not, to lie in bed with my godson like this and kiss him and then to also call him by his baby nickname. It just makes it worse."

"You don't want me anymore," Harry concluded softly, already feeling the first tears prick his eyes.

"No, it's not that." Sirius sighed, trying to take Harry back into his arms, but the slight boy shied away from his touch. "I just... I'm confused, Harry, okay? When I last saw you, you were a baby. A really cute and beautiful baby at that, but I felt exactly like a father or in my case the proud godfather should feel like.

"And now you are all grown up and you are so f... fabulously beautiful and attractive that I can't help but love you and lust after you and want to make you mine again. I love you, Harry. I never stopped loving you, but now I think that it would be taking advantage of you to insist on this relationship and that you would be better off with someone younger and someone who didn't spend such a long time in Azkaban."

"But I don't want someone else," Harry growled, stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest and sending Sirius his most impressive glare. "I made my decision and I stand by it. I don't want just anyone young; I want you. And I don't need a godfather. I didn't have one for the better part of my life and now I don't need one, either. I have Remus. He's a great uncle. And I have Ron and Hermione and Severus, too, who are great friends and I have Lucius, who's about ready to drop everything when I'm in danger. I don't need you to replace one of them. They're doing a fine job, really. But I need you to be my dom, please?"

"And it's okay for you that I'm older than you?" Sirius asked uncertainly and Harry rolled his eyes.

"I knew that you were older when I fell in love with you. I didn't change and neither has my love for you. It all depends on you, Sirius. I don't want you to stay with me just because you feel obligated to do so or because you pity me." He lowered his eyes.

"You could never be an obligation to me," Sirius assured him, taking Harry in his arms once more, kissing his nose teasingly. "I love you and nothing will ever change that. I'm sorry for worrying you."

"It's okay." Harry sighed, happily snuggling into the older man. "I don't want you to bottle anything up, either."

Sirius laughed softly, wrapping his arms tightly around the thin body snuggled up to him. Harry purred appreciatively, somehow managing to bring Sirius closer so that he was wrapped in a tight cocoon of the veela's arms, and enjoyed the light kisses Sirius placed on his face and his neck.

Suddenly the door burst open. Sirius looked up startled while Harry craned his neck to look over the older wizard's shoulder.

"Man, Harry." Ron stood in the door, his face flaming. "You can't do this in here. No one in this house has sex."

"And how did you manage to get six siblings?" Hermione scowled at him. "You should have knocked, then you wouldn't look like a tomato right now."

"But, Mione," Ron whined. "Look, they... Look what they are doing!"

"Not having sex that much is clear." Hermione raised her eyebrows. "For the one who was boasting in the common room about his sexual escapades with Lavender you are either awfully inexperienced or prude. Should I lend you one of my books, perhaps, so that you can catch up?"

Ron blushed furiously. "Is this still about that? I apologised to her, no need for you to bitch around."

"I'm not bitching around, as you so amply put it," Hermione snapped at him. "You're the one who's once again criticising Harry, even though he's done nothing."

"Are they always like this?" Sirius asked Harry under his breath, making sure to shield Harry from their looks.

"Yes." Harry smiled. "They have been in love for, I don't know four years or so, but they won't listen to me and just get together."

"You're only jealous," Ron shouted.

"That's what you keep telling yourself." Hermione rolled her chocolate brown eyes.

"Yeah, you're only criticising and meddling in my sex life because you never had one of your own," Ron argued fiercely.

"I just don't feel the need to inform everyone about it," Hermione retorted.

"Would she have something that she could inform others about?" Sirius leaned down, feeling very much like he was watching some kind of soap opera.

"Yes." Harry nodded softly. "Anthony Goldstein, he's a Ravenclaw and Head Boy. Mione said it was very theoretical."

Sirius snickered and belatedly realised that this was a wrong move as it drew the attention of the two Gryffindors towards them.

"Ron is right, though." Hermione glared at him, whereupon Ron punched the air triumphantly and Hermione sent him an evil glare. "You should eat your breakfast, Mr. Black, and not try to devour Harry."

"Oh, Merlin," Harry gasped. "I'm so sorry. You must be hungry and I kept distracting you. Here," he scrambled out from under him and placed the plate in his lap. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not about to starve." Sirius rolled his eyes. "And, believe it or not, I quite liked your distractions. Come back here."

"Severus said that you should eat so that you can take another potion to help you recover." Harry mumbled, but obediently moved back into the veela's arms, who grimaced at the news.

"I'd rather not let him poison me and if I never have to see him again that's just fine with me."

Ron thought that maybe this Black guy wasn't so bad.

"But I want to see him and I want you to get better," Harry argued, looking pleadingly at him. "You look like a ghost, Sirius, like a really pale and unhealthy ghost."

"Fine," Sirius grumbled, demonstratively putting a forkful of eggs in his mouth, chewing and swallowing before he continued, "There, I'm eating. Happy now?"

"Yes, thank you." Harry smiled a bit uncertainly at him and then pecked his cheek. "What would you like to do today?"

"I doubt you would agree with me," Sirius whispered seductively before he sighed. "I guess, I should take care of a few formalities and replace my things."

"Can I come with you?" Harry asked hopefully, but Hermione interrupted them, "Dumbledore flooed earlier, Harry, you are supposed to return to Hogwarts as soon as possible. They don't want you to stay alone with Mr. Black."

A scowl appeared on Harry's face and Ron tried to appease him, smiling brightly. "We'll come with you. We can play Quidditch on the Quidditch pitch and try out all the brooms and then we can go and raid the kitchens..."

"Or we could go to the library and study," Hermione had the same excited look on her face as Ron when he had talked about Quidditch though Ron's expression now quickly changed into a look of shocked disbelief. "And we can work on S.P.E.W."

"Not in the holidays, Hermione." Ron groaned pitifully.

"House-elves don't have holidays. It would do you well to remember that before you say something so stupid again," Hermione snapped at him.

"But, Harry." Ron looked pleadingly at him. "Help me, mate, she has been constantly at my throat for the last twenty-four hours. I can't anymore."

"Harry, you think that the house-elves and studying is important, don't you?" Hermione challenged.

"No, he doesn't," Sirius interrupted fiercely. "And don't you dare pull Harry into this. Can't you see your incessant bickering is hurting him? Just get it over with and fuck so that I can enjoy my breakfast in quiet."

Ron openly gaped at him and Hermione blushed a bright red, seeming at a loss for words. Harry's quiet chuckle interrupted the shocked silence.

"That wasn't funny," Ron whined, sending Harry a glare.

"But your faces surely were," Harry snickered. "And he's right. Just get together. This tension between you two is killing me."

"Actually, Harry." Hermione paused uncertainly, exchanging a look with Ron. "We are together."

"What?" Harry's head snapped up. "And when did you plan to tell me?"

"We were waiting for the right time," Ron mumbled.

"Ron was waiting for the right time," Hermione corrected. "I thought you'd want to know as soon as possible."

"That's not something you tell a guy when he's busy trying to free his mate," Ron snapped at her.

"Whoa, I'm not angry, just a bit confused. Why are you still arguing?" The elf cocked his head slightly.

Ron shrugged. "I guess that's just how it works for us, mate. Old habits die hard, right? We didn't see eye to eye on when or how to tell you, but now that that's resolved..." He waggled his eyebrows at Hermione, who blushed.

"Are you okay with this?" Hermione looked at him, her eyes demanding honesty.

"As long as you don't completely forget about me," Harry returned. "I mean, I have Sirius and I'm glad you've got each other, but we're still friends, right?"

"Of course we're still friends." Ron rolled his eyes, opening his arms expectantly. "You're our little brother or have you forgotten?"

As Harry was enveloped in a group hug, Sirius gave a warning growl, which caused Harry to run back to him, appeasing him with a gentle kiss to his nose. "Have you finished your breakfast?"

Sirius nodded, swaying as he stood up a bit too eagerly and closing his eyes briefly to fight of the dizziness. Harry, who noticed this, slung an arm around his waist, trying to stabilise him.

"I'm okay, Harry," Sirius assured him, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Just a bit out of shape."

"Scratch the 'bit' out of that statement and it might come closer to the truth." Remus suddenly appeared in the door, grinning at Sirius, who grinned back. "Ready to go to Hogwarts?"

Everyone nodded obediently.

"Have you seen my wand, Remus?" Sirius asked hopefully.

"I think you left it in the bathroom. Why don't you get changed and I'll fetch it for you?"

After a hesitant glance at Harry, Sirius nodded, gently pushing the elf towards the door. "Wait downstairs for me, okay? I'll be fine."

Harry nodded obediently, dragging Ron and Hermione with him.

"So what do you think of him?" Harry asked nervously, plopping down on one of the kitchen chairs and looking up at his friends.

"He seems nice enough and he really cares about you." Hermione smiled. "Did you know that he came to see you yesterday?"

"I think I felt it." Harry nodded softly. "What about you, Ron?"

"Same here, Harry, as long as he treats you right and you're happy, I don't have a problem with him." Ron shrugged. "I guess we just need a bit of time to get used to him and to make sure that he's good for you."

"He is," Harry said at once.

"How good to know." Sirius entered the room, smirking. "But I'll prove it to your friends as well, if it makes you happy."

"You will have to prove it to the Order as well, Sirius," offered Remus, who had followed Sirius down the stairs, "so you better not make such messes as in the past."

"How good of you to remind me." Sirius scowled at him. "I'm not a hormonal teenager anymore, Moony."

"No, you're..."

"Don't even say it," Sirius growled and Remus grinned at him. "Merlin, Snape corrupted you."

"Maybe I corrupted him," Remus offered, stepping to the fireplace. "We should go before they send a searching party."

Sirius grumbled in displeasure, waiting with Harry till the others had stepped through the fire before he also took some Floo powder.

"Are you angry?" Harry asked nervously and Sirius swivelled around. "I can't change that they're worried about me."

"I'm not angry, Harry, and it's good that they are worried. I don't want to think of you not being cared for. You're the boy-who-lived, they're bound to be a bit more paranoid about your safety."

"Is that all you see in me?" Harry asked, his throat aching strangely. "The boy-who-lived?"

"Of course not," Sirius protested, enclosing the slight boy in his arms. "You're my mate, my one and only, my love, my everything. That's what I see in you. I wouldn't care if you were Voldemort himself, though I can't deny that the thought alone is highly disturbing and will give me nightmares. I'm not interested in your title. I care about you, not about what others see in you. All I wanted to say was that you're in more danger from Death Eaters and that so they would take certain safety precautions, like for example questioning me under Veritaserum."

Harry pressed closer to the tall, thin man, burying his small hands in the soft jumper, warmed by Sirius' body heat and relieved by the soft pressure of hands on the small of his back. "Your thoughts and feelings are all in a jumble. I don't know what you expect of me," Harry whispered. "If I made you angry somehow."

"I'm sorry, Harry."

"No! I mean, it's not your fault," the submissive protested immediately. "You've been in Azkaban all this time and Merlin knows how horrible that must have been. It's not your fault."

"But difficult for you, isn't it?" Sirius asked softly, sighing when Harry nodded hesitantly. "It'll get better, I promise, we're going to be happy."

"I know." Harry smiled. "I know."

"Thank you." A soft, caressing kiss was placed to his forehead and Sirius expertly manoeuvred them both into the fireplace, stating Hogwarts as their destination.

* * *

_Isn't it fitting that I'm still lying in bed? And isn't it amazing that I'm awake enough to post this? And wouldn't it be wonderful if you reviewed now?_

_I, at least, think so._


	21. Formalities

_Dibesclaimer: See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: Hey there! First of all, thank you for all your reviews, and then, second of all, I apologise for not answering them, but I have a presentation due this Thursday, need to sign up for an exam (which entails pointlessly standing in line and waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and yes, waiting) and I also should read up on several Italian universities (which unfortunately means browsing Italian websites and trying, and mostly failing, to understand them). In short, it is all very frustrating and time-consuming, which is why I had and have no time to reply to your reviews... But still, here I am, updating, so you just have to forgive me :-)_

_Beta: TheElementalMaster, thank you!_

* * *

**21. FORMALITIES**

"...clearly you were wrong." Minister Fudge stomped his foot in irritation and agitation, glaring at the Headmaster. "I will send for the Aurors to arrest Black and get him away from Potter. He's insane and most probably dangerous. How could you leave the boy with that criminal?"

"So I'm back to being a criminal now, am I?" Sirius raised one eyebrow mockingly, helping Harry to straighten up. "The Ministry seems to change its opinion on a daily basis now a days. How... fascinating."

"Sirius," Dumbledore greeted him merrily. "We were starting to wonder what was keeping you."

"Nothing that should worry you, I assure you," Sirius returned none too friendly.

He couldn't quite explain what rubbed him the wrong way about the Headmaster. He couldn't really blame him for James' and Lily's death or his imprisonment. Dumbledore had acted correctly and from his point of view, it must have been clear that Sirius was really guilty of the crimes for which he had been convicted. Maybe it was that he thought such a wise and seemingly omniscient individual as Dumbledore should have seen the truth. Maybe it was disappointment because Dumbledore insisted to see the good in everyone - everyone but Sirius it seemed. Maybe it was also because Dumbledore was about the only one who **could **have spoken up for him and helped him. Whatever it was, he couldn't help but be slightly cross with the aged Headmaster.

"Of course not, Sirius." Dumbledore's twinkle dimmed a little, but he jovially motioned for them all to take a seat.

Fudge was the first to plop into a plush baby-blue armchair as if his legs wouldn't support him any longer, morosely twisting his bowler in his sweaty hands. Lucius gracefully sank down in the least offending armchair, giving Harry a small smile as the elf made himself comfortable in Sirius' lap. Ron and Hermione took seats to their right, Hermione's hand automatically slipping into Ron's large, freckled one. Remus sat down the farthest away from Harry, while Severus preferred to hover behind the werewolf.

"The Ministry will take custody of Harry," Fudge suddenly burst out, crumpling his bowler. "At least until this whole matter is resolved."

"I'm of age, Minister," Harry said mildly. "And I'm sure we can 'resolve this matter' now."

"You still go to school, Harry." Fudge attempted a benevolent smile.

"I can drop out of school, if this is bothering you. I can drop out of school and disappear into the Muggle world." Harry's still didn't raise his voice and his face stayed calm and peaceful.

The Minister spluttered. "You will do what you are told, boy."

"I'll do what Sirius wants me to do," he argued softly, nudging the veela's chin and discreetly blocking Sirius' wand that had somehow slipped into his hand. "And I will stay with him. If you separate us, I will go and find him; if you ban him from the Wizarding world I'll go with him; if you throw him back into Azkaban you'll have to lock me up as well."

"I think none of us wants that Harry." Dumbledore smiled at him. "We only want what's best for you."

"Sirius is best for me," Harry declared with conviction.

"He's a murderer," Fudge all but shouted, his face turning an unpleasant shade of purple.

"Now, Cornelius, try to behave yourself," Dumbledore reprimanded him with soft emphasis. "It wouldn't do for the Ministry to dig its grave even deeper."

"Are you threatening me?" the Minister asked, flustered and incredulous, looking around at the silent occupants of the room. "I am the Minister of Magic."

"And a complete fool at that," Sirius muttered under his breath, just as Dumbledore started to answer, "And therefore you are responsible for the well-being and well-doings of the Wizarding world. A great responsibility for sure. You have the chance to right the wrong doings of your predecessors and come out of this dilemma as the shining symbol of hope, honour and honesty. Or you can make the wrong decision. It is in your hands only, Minister. But I would suggest that you choose your next steps wisely."

The slightly overweight man blinked slowly, giving his bowler another vicious twist as he tried to comprehend what Dumbledore was implying. It wasn't that he didn't trust him. After the disastrous events two years ago he knew better than to mess with Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, or whatever the correct order of those many names was. He also knew better than to risk a fight with the boy-who-lived.

He had seen the supreme power and strength encompassed in that frail-looking young boy and heard rumours of even more impressive abilities and stunts. He chanced a quick look at Harry and his veela. Harry had his eyes closed, his ear pressed to Black's chest, as if listening to his heartbeat. The older man carded his long thin fingers through the black tresses, his surprisingly lucid storm-grey eyes watching him with a mixture of vague amusement and wary anticipation, and possessive protectiveness. He knew what he should do, he knew what was the right thing to do and still he was reluctant.

A strong and gifted wizard like Black from an old pureblood family that was known to have not only a vast amount of money, but an even vaster range of knowledge and more than a feeble connection to the Dark Arts. Would it be prudent to give him someone like Harry, who could easily turn away from the Ministry and the Light under his guidance? Who was to guarantee that Black wouldn't want revenge for all the years in Azkaban? Who was to say that he wasn't insane and was only hiding it well? Could their world be safe with someone like Black having all control over the icon of their freedom and magical strength? The answer was no, but he had no idea how to prevent it without drawing the wrath of the boy-who-lived. And he couldn't risk that.

Besides that fact that he did not, under any circumstances, want to be at the receiving end of Potter's anger, he also knew that if they lost him they would lose their hope, their spirit and soon after the war. Why couldn't his time as the Minister have been a more peaceful one? One without Dark Lords, murder, intrigue and corruption? He had had such nice plans for a holiday resort, nature parks and zoos to boost tourism. He had no plans for wars.

"Please," Harry whispered, looking at him with big, pleading eyes. "Don't I deserve a bit of happiness as well? I will do whatever you expect of me, but please don't take Sirius away from me."

Those eyes could be anyone's undoing and even a better man would have lost his resolve faced with them, he decided, taking a last deep breath to stabilise his nerves or at least what was left of them. "Mr. Black, it is my belief that you were wrongly accused for the betrayal of James and Lily Potter and the murder of Peter Pettigrew and twelve Muggles."

Black snorted, but he did not allow himself to be interrupted.

"With the new found proof and the capture of the still alive Peter Pettigrew, you will be cleared of all charges. I hope sincerely that you will find it in you to see this as a huge misunderstanding and not to hold it against the Ministry."

Black rolled his eyes.

"The trial against Peter Pettigrew, who is held under close surveillance at Azkaban, will take place as soon as possible in approximately two weeks. It would fasten the process and help justice if you would be willing to testify against him. This matter will be brought to the Wizengamot who will also set the appropriate reimbursement for your undeserved imprisonment in Azkaban. All your proprieties, belongings and possessions are hereby returned to you and you are free to go wherever you want to go."

By now, he had completely lost whatever he had held of Black's attention, who was busy caressing the skin of Potter's neck with his mouth.

"However, in consideration of the circumstances it would be greatly appreciated if you and young Mr. Potter would stay within reach. The Ministry will gladly supply you with the necessary protection or financial or otherwise support. I would also like to extend an invitation to you and Mr. Potter in a small attempt to apologise with deeds rather than words."

It had been a long time since he had held such a speech, since he had gathered all his courage, eloquence and nobility around himself. It reminded him of the days when he was still young and energetic and full of ideals and hopes and power to implement them. It reminded him of the time when he hadn't been afraid of losing his job or his good reputation and when his only concern had been to make the world a bit better. Though, his plans had revolved around aviaries and water parks rather than official apologies and war strategies. But it was something.

It reminded the others why he had been elected Minister of Magic. And maybe, he decided, it was time to return to traditional values such as integrity and intelligence. Yes, he was done with being the laughing stock of the whole Wizarding world and he would not make it easy for You-Know-Who (he would have to work on saying his name) and just open the doors to the Ministry. He would also listen to and question Dumbledore more often. But first, he needed a big glass of firewhiskey.

He looked around himself, not quite able to keep the hopefulness and wish for recognition out of his eyes. Yes, he had done the right thing.

A smile lit up Harry's face and his hands gently massaged the nape of Sirius' neck as the veela smirked triumphantly.

"We shall see about that, Minister," Sirius stated indifferently with one last kiss to Harry's neck. "I would like to regain my strength and get settled in before I make any further plans for me or Harry. I'm also a bit oblivious to the way things stand at the moment and I think I'll need more information before I decide what is best for Harry and me."

"I understand, of course, Mr. Black." Fudge managed a rather honest smile as he mentally patted himself on the shoulder. "I hope we have your understanding as well that it would reassure us greatly if you allowed us to keep you and Harry under surveillance, also for your own protection of course, Mr. Black."

"I doubt that Harry would hurt me." Sirius grinned impishly. "But I think it will turn out much better if I allow this, rather than that you do it in secret. Harry?"

"Whatever," Harry muttered. "But I can look after myself and I trust you."

"I know." Sirius smiled at him, kissing his temple. "Let's just make sure, okay?"

"I trust you," Harry insisted and Sirius sighed.

"I don't trust myself, Harry. What if I am insane? What if Azkaban changed me? What if I'm only fooling myself?"

"I know you better," Harry protested. "I know you're not insane and I know that Azkaban changed you, but not in a way that is somehow dangerous to me or anyone else. And you are fooling yourself if you don't believe me."

Sirius buried his face in Harry's wild, silky hair, laughing softly before he smiled warmly at the small elf. "You're even smarter and more convincing than I remember you to be, Harry."

"And you're just as stubborn and obstinate," Harry gave back, ducking his head slightly, before Sirius burst out laughing, tilting his head upwards with his forefinger.

"But you love me for it, don't you, beautiful?" Harry nodded at once, "Good."

Dumbledore clapped his hands happily, plopping another lemon drop into his mouth and offering the small box to the others in the room. "It seems that is settled then. I was going to offer you to stay at Hogwarts, in any case, Sirius. Maybe you could assist our dear Defence professor Remus. This way Harry could finish school and be kept safe."

"I would appreciate being able to stay in the castle and I don't mind substituting for Remus every once in a while." Sirius chanced a quick look at the werewolf, who nodded gratefully. "But I'm not a teacher and I'll be looking for another job."

"Do you even know what working is, Black?" Severus sneered and Harry sent him an angry glare.

"I have been working for my living since I was fifteen, Snape," Sirius snapped. "Unlike you I didn't spend my holidays hovering around potions, getting my hair greasy while some doting house-elf served me hand to foot."

Now Harry glared accusingly at Sirius. "Stop it! Stop it, Sirius! Please!"

"He started it." Sirius pouted.

"Then you shouldn't have risen to his baiting," Harry said simply, putting his head back against Sirius' chest.

"Be nice to me, okay?" Sirius asked of him, kissing his forehead. "I'm just a bit on edge right now. I'll try to better myself."

"That's all I'm asking," Harry murmured. "You're both important to me."

Sirius sighed before looking up at the thin man. "I apologise, Snape. It was rather ungrateful of me to attack you after you did so much for my freedom and took care of Harry."

Severus nodded sharply. "You used to have a thicker skin."

"That's his way of saying sorry," Harry whispered in Sirius' ear, who smirked.

"Thanks for translating."

"I must admit I'm impressed." The Headmaster twinkled happily. "The shortest fight I have ever seen between those two. And with a happy ending no less."

"That's because your solution for everything is offering those abhorrent lemon drops." Severus sneered.

"I like them," Sirius grumbled and the small box was immediately thrust into his hands.

"Of course." Severus sneered. "How could you not?"

Sirius demonstratively took several lemon drops and appreciatively plopped them into his mouth. "They are delicious, Headmaster."

"Aren't they?" Dumbledore chuckled. "I had some with mango flavour for a while, but it just wasn't the same, though if they would combine the two - "

"If that will be the topic of this conversation, I will go and do something useful with my time," Severus spat, already turning around. "I rather thought there was some **important** reason for this meeting."

"Oh, yes, what was it again, Severus?" Dumbledore smiled appealingly at him. "Help me a little."

"Where Harry should stay the one week before school starts again," Severus grumbled.

"That was it, thank you, Severus." The Headmaster beamed. "Where would you like to stay, Harry?"

"With Sirius," Harry said immediately. "And not at the Dursleys'."

"Who are the Dursleys?" Sirius spoke up.

"My aunt and uncle," Harry muttered. "I live with them."

His eyes narrowed dangerously. "Lily's sister? What have you done, Dumbledore?! Lily and James stated clearly in their will that Harry was not to go there under any circumstances!"

"There was hardly an alternative with you in Azkaban, Sirius," the Headmaster returned, looking slightly guilty. "I had to think of Harry's safety."

"You had to respect their last will!" Sirius hissed. "Those Muggles hate magic. Did they treat you well, Harry? Tell the truth."

"No," Harry murmured. "Not really."

"That's why he wasn't to go there, Dumbledore!" Sirius snapped. "Even Snape would have been a better guardian and you damn well know it. How could you entrust them with Lily's and James' child? Merlin knows what they did to him."

"Sirius, stop please." Harry leant heavily against him. "I appreciate it, I really do, but what's done is done and it wasn't that bad. I'm fine, okay?"

"I should have been there. I promised James to look after you," Sirius said hoarsely, closing his eyes.

"It's not your fault. I know you would have been there if you could." Harry gently kissed his cheeks and then his eyelids, stroking the tufts of black hair. "Let it rest, okay? Now I have you back. I'm safe, no one can hurt me."

"It doesn't make it right," Sirius grumbled. "I'll have to have a serious conversation with them about how to treat their nephew. And don't you tell me to let it drop."

Harry sighed, but didn't say anything.

"I'm coming with you," Ron declared, raising his hands at Harry's indignant look. "It wasn't right what they did to you. They did not just treat you not well, Harry. They locked you in a goddamn cupboard and starved you and treated you like their fucking house-elf!"

"Aha." Hermione jumped up. "So you do realise that house-elves shouldn't be treated the way they are."

"Dammit, Hermione!" Ron snapped at her. "Not everything is about them stupid house-elves. Can you for once leave them out of a conversation and focus on Harry? If you have to save an elf, start with him, because face it, most of house-elves are happy and you only upset them with your constant rambling about freeing them. It's no wonder they threw us out of the kitchen!"

"It's **the** house-elves." Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. "And don't you dare assume that I don't care about Harry. I'm not the one jealous of all the attention he gets. And if you haven't noticed, Harry doesn't want us to go to the Dursleys!"

"And if you haven't noticed the house-elves don't want to be free!" Ron exclaimed.

"Dobby wanted to be freed," Hermione argued.

"Dobby?" Lucius spoke up. "Isn't that my old house-elf?"

"Exactly." Hermione glared at him. "If you had treated him with the same respect as you treat Harry, he would have been perfectly happy, Mr. Malfoy."

"This is all because of Dobby?" Lucius asked once again.

"You mistreated him," Hermione snapped impatiently. "And he's not the only one. Look at how many problems Winky has now!"

"Because she is free!" Ron glared at her. "There'll always be an exception to the rule! I really don't mind that you want to help them, but Harry is more important."

"I'm doing this so that it won't happen to Harry," she hissed. "Submissive elves can be sold as slaves, too, Ron. As sex slaves! Do you want that to happen to Harry? Do you?"

"What?" Ron's face turned completely white. "Where did you get that idea?"

"It's not an idea, Ron, it's a fact. A fact you would know if you had listened to Professor Binns." Hermione stared accusingly at him. "Wizards pay millions of galleons to get their hands on a submissive elf, for breeding and for pleasure. They used to hunt them down and sell them into slavery, even the small elflings. That's why it's so important that Harry has a dom so that no one gets the idea to bid for him. It's not forbidden, Ron, there's no law to protect Harry." Tears were streaming down her face now.

"That's not true," Ron whispered. "Tell me it's not true." He looked around helplessly.

"Unfortunately it is, Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore looked grave. "The habit of wizards to use elves for their pleasure and enjoyment is partly the reason why elves fear our kind so much and avoid being seen by us. We were able to stall for time and keep Harry's condition private, but I fear that Voldemort won't wait much longer till he makes his move."

"His move?" Ron asked, dread filling his voice. "What do you mean, Sir?"

"There are no regulations how many people can put their money together to bid for an elf." Lucius sighed. "Many of the Death Eaters aren't exactly poor, neither is Voldemort himself and if they make a group bidding, it could be hard to outbid them."

"But you're fucking rich," Ron shouted at him. "Or aren't you willing to save Harry?"

Lucius' eyes narrowed dangerously. "Have you ever been to Gringotts, boy? Those Death Eaters own about half of it. How do you suppose I outbid them? Don't talk about things you do not understand."

"You never told me," Harry murmured tiredly. "Why did you pretend that you were leaving me a choice, why did you bother to look for a dom for me, if I was just going to be sold off?"

"I was giving you the time to get used to your situation," Dumbledore soothed him. "Besides, it isn't an actual problem, yet."

"And when it is? Are you going to rely on Lucius' money?" Harry stared at him. "Who gives you the right to decide something like this? How am I supposed to get used to the situation, if you don't tell me everything I need to know? And would you even care if I wasn't Harry Potter?"

"Of course, I would care, Harry. You are doing me wrong."

"Did you know, Sirius?" Harry turned towards the veela, looking inquiringly at him.

"Yes," the Animagus replied softly, tightening his hold as Harry made to draw back. "I also thought you knew."

"But..."

"You're my mate, Harry. Most of the really old pureblood families have veela blood, Harry. They have a lot of influence on politics. There are laws against denying a veela their mate. That's why my mother was so happy about this, Harry. I don't have to pay for you because you already belong to me. I won't allow anyone taking you away from me. I already claimed you." He looked up at the others. "There are records on this matter in the Ministry. No one has the right to bid for Harry. He's mine." His shadow flickered angrily, swirling around them like a black cloud before settling again.

"That's unfair," Harry mumbled.

"What is, love?" Sirius questioned.

"That you get laws to assure you your mate while I don't even have the right to chose who I want as my mate," Harry gave back. "How is that fair?"

"It isn't," Sirius agreed. "But neither is what they are doing to Remus."

"I'd rather be a werewolf than a stupid submissive elf," Harry declared bitterly.

"Is it so bad for you, Harry?" Sirius gently made him look up at him. "Would you rather you weren't my mate?"

"No, but I want to have a choice and I want you to be my mate, too. Lucius said I could choose who I want as my dom, but apparently that wasn't true, either." Harry murmured bitterly.

"It is true," Sirius corrected him before Lucius could justify himself. "At least partly. Your nature would allow you to choose someone other than me, though it is against Wizarding law for you to reject me. I won't insist on those laws if you don't want me to, Harry..."

"No!" Harry exclaimed. "No, I want you. I love you. I just... Lucius, you didn't lie, did you?"

"No, Harry, I didn't," the blond veela assured him and Harry breathed a sigh of relief.

"I know you're disappointed and afraid because you have only my word to tell you that I'm your mate," Sirius murmured soothingly, kissing Harry's cheek. "I can't change that, but I can protect you and I can make you forget about your anger and pain and I can make being an elf good for you. I promise."

"I'm afraid, Sirius." Harry buried his face against Sirius' shoulder. "I don't want to be anyone's sex slave. I don't want to lose you."

"Neither will happen," Sirius promised him. "Believe me?"

"Of course," Harry mumbled, pressing closer to the older man.

"Then everything will be alright," Sirius concluded.

"Mr. Potter," Fudge spoke up. "The ministry is already discussing the possibility of an abolition act and the Wizengamot will deliberate this afternoon. No one wants you to be auctioned off to a Death Eater."

"As much as I appreciate it, it's rather hypocritical to suddenly be so concerned about the well-being of elves when you couldn't have cared less for the last hundreds of years, Minister." Hermione stared at him.

"Hermione," Sirius spoke up softly. "I agree that it is wrong, but not many purebloods think like that and even less would be willing to put themselves out for this. There are laws to guarantee every creature their mate, but since submissive elves don't feel who their mate is, they're more or less excluded from that law.

"Harry's family did try to change those laws and now submissive elves have at least half a year to find a suitable dom. If Harry wasn't who he is, no one would probably even think of bidding for him. It may not be ideal that they only want to change something because they need him, but it'll help the other elves as well."

"It's still wrong," Hermione stated crossly. "Harry needs his dom just like every other creature and if the Wizarding world wasn't so used to slavery in the form of house-elves, there would have been protest much earlier."

"Most house-elves form a bond with their masters and mistresses and they would feel rejected if they were to be freed. Much like Harry would feel rejected if I told him that he should look for a better dom," Sirius argued. "It's in their nature to take care of wizards and they take pride in doing so. They don't consider it slavery."

"How can you say that what wizards do to house-elves is right when it's clearly wrong what they could do to Harry? Whether or not you're Harry'S mate doesn't change the fact that **he** has no choice." Hermione scowled at him.

"Have you actually talked to a house-elf yet, Hermione?" Sirius narrowed his eyes. "They **are** happy. Harry wouldn't be, that's the difference. House-elves need a master and Harry needs a dominant. It's not the same."

"Mione, it may not seem right to you, but it is," Harry said softly, looking up at her. "They want to make their masters happy, like I want to make Sirius happy. House-elves choose whom they want to serve. Their magic is connected to the line of their masters' blood. They stay with their family as do their children and the only ones unhappy are those who were forced to serve someone they can't respect and who is not their master. That's why Dobby was so unhappy with Lucius and why Winky is so unhappy now. If they auctioned me off it would be like slavery, but it isn't as long as I'm with Sirius. I love him and I'm happy as long as he is happy. Please, don't condemn me for it."

"I could never condemn you, Harry." Hermione gasped, throwing her arms around Harry's neck. "I'm one hundred percent on your side. I'm just so worried about you. I'm sorry."

"I think you should apologise to Ron, too." Harry smiled gently at her. "You might have been a bit hard on him, don't you think?"

Hermione blushed and nodded lightly before dragging a confused Ron from the room.

"Sirius, are you sure those records exist?" Dumbledore spoke up after a while, in which the Animagus had gently dried Harry's face. "It would be fatal if they were not valid."

"I'm sure," Sirius nodded. "I had them made almost immediately after graduation. But since I didn't know Harry's real last name, I should probably update them."

"I'll have them brought here so that we can get this out of the way," Fudge stood up and walked over to the fireplace.

"Stop crying, okay?" Sirius murmured tenderly. "Everything will turn out fine. Even if there was to be a bidding I would make sure that I would get you back. I have enough money, and I would give everything if it meant keeping you. You're worth more than all the money in Gringotts."

Harry sighed, smiling softly as he snuggled closer to the veela. "Thank you."

"Not a problem, beautiful." Sirius chuckled, tucking Harry's head under his chin.

Fudge pulled back from the fireplace with a toppling stack of yellowing parchments in his arms and quickly dropped them on the Headmaster's desk, shuffling through them till he found the one he was searching for.

"Aha." He held up one of the rolls triumphantly. "Mate: Harry Parker. Is this it?"

"Yes," Sirius said after a brief glance at the paper. "There should be an extra parchment, where I wrote down everything that I knew of Harry so that it could be verified that he's my mate."

"Who were the witnesses?" Fudge asked, looking the parchment over once more.

"James and Remus," Sirius said. "And a Ministry official. I don't remember his name."

"Arthur Weasley," Remus supplied. "He had a beard, that's probably why you didn't recognise him."

Sirius shrugged uncaringly.

"Everything seems to be in order," Fudge declared. "But it will be best to fill in a new form so that no one can say it is outdated."

"Alright," Sirius said.

"It also entails a blood test to make sure that Harry is really your mate," Severus spoke up. "And questioning under Veritaserum."

"I think the interrogation of yesterday will be enough. Wouldn't you agree, Minister?" Dumbledore twinkled at Fudge.

"Yes, yes." Fudge nodded at once and then started to fill in the forms, scribbling almost hastily before handing it to Sirius. "A drop of your blood and your signature, if you please."

Sirius carefully shifted Harry a little and then reached for the paper and the quill. He lightly cut his finger with his wand and let the dark liquid drop on the paper before quickly signing and handing it back. Then his arms once again tightened around Harry, who had started to glow a soft golden light, his eyes closed.

"What was that?" Harry murmured after it had stopped.

"You accepted the claim." Sirius grinned at him. "Now we are as good as engaged. You're mine."

"Good." Harry grinned back. "You are not getting rid of me so soon now, Mr. Black."

"As if I would ever want that, Mr. Potter." Sirius laughed.

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_Go ahead, review. We all know you want to..._


	22. Together

_Disclaimer: Not mine! See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: I know, I know. I took my sweet time to finally update and yes, I still haven't got around to answering your reviews (for which I'm absolutely grateful, by the way), but I will sooner rather than later. Until then, I hope this chapter will strengthen your patience. Enjoy._

_Beta: TheElementalMaster, thank you very much._

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**22. TOGETHER**

Harry was enjoying the quiet of their new rooms after their long shopping trip to Diagon Alley and the short detour to Sirius' former apartment, while the veela was enjoying another bath, claiming that he could still feel the dirt of Azkaban clinging to his body.

But Harry's quiet was disturbed by a soft knock on the door, and the elf could sense that Remus was standing on the other side, patiently waiting to be let in. He took a deep breath, but got up and carefully walked to the door, opening it slowly only to be greeted by Severus, who blocked his view on Remus.

"Can we come in?" He smirked as Harry made no move to step aside and let them in. "Wolfboy wanted to see Black. As if seeing him once a day wasn't already more than enough."

Harry smiled a bit uncertainly, but let them enter, sitting back down on the large sofa Sirius had insisted on charming red. "Sirius is taking a bath. Do you want me to fetch him?"

"We aren't in a hurry." Remus smiled at him, slowly sitting down in the armchair farthest away from Harry and with Severus between them. "It's still about an hour until dinner."

"And of course, the meals are the only important events in our lives," Severus grumbled, disdainfully looking at the very Gryffindor decor. "Black decorated, I assume?"

"Yes, this room." Harry laughed. "I did the bathroom and the bedroom, though. It's not quite as red..."

"What's wrong with red?" Sirius entered from the bathroom, fully dressed but still with slightly wet hair. "It's better than green."

"My eyes are green." Harry pouted. "Would you rather I had red eyes?"

"Merlin, no!" Sirius exclaimed, plopping down next to Harry and pulling him into his lap. "I love your eyes!"

"Then what is so bad about green?" Harry whined.

"You don't like grey, either," Sirius protested.

"I like your eyes and therefore I like grey," Harry stated stubbornly.

Sirius sighed deeply. "Fine, I'm sorry. If you want we can paint all rooms green."

"Can we also paint the rooms grey?" Harry asked.

"Definitely not!" Sirius exclaimed. "Slytherin colours I can bear, but I won't live in a grave. Not even with you, Harry."

"I was kidding, Sirius." Harry laughed softly, kissing his nose. "There's no grey that could match your eyes."

"Please, tell me that this won't be the conversation topic for the next half an hour." Severus groaned, which lifted Sirius' mood immensely.

Harry pouted, leaning back against Sirius' chest. "It's better than talking about potions."

"I'll have you know that my life doesn't revolve around potions." Severus sneered at Harry, which earned him a heated glare from Sirius.

"Of course, you also like to take points off of Gryffindor."

"Exactly and you better remember that or I'll engage in that hobby." The Potion's Professor smirked, and Harry stuck out his tongue. "Disrespect towards a teacher, ten - "

"I actually wanted to ask if you have everything," Remus spoke up before Severus could finish his sentence. "Can I do anything for you, Paddy?"

"I'm fine." Sirius shrugged. "There's a lot of paper work waiting for me, and I don't exactly look forward to it and Dumbledore is under the illusion that I'll allow him to meddle in our life, but I'll manage. Oh, and I'm constantly hungry."

Remus laughed. "You're almost back to normal, I see. I'll help you with the paper work, if you want me to."

"I'd love you for it," Sirius exclaimed before quickly adding, "Not as much as Harry of course."

Remus chuckled while Severus merely rolled his eyes.

"Thank you," Harry murmured. "But I'm not **that** insecure."

"Better to be safe than sorry," Sirius admitted sheepishly, blushing lightly as Harry kissed his cheek.

Harry laughed. "You blush a lot, don't you? I never noticed before because you were so tan."

"I'm working on that," Sirius stated. "I already made a note to go sun-bathing this afternoon - interested in joining me?"

The small elf nodded at once.

"Should we head down for dinner?" Remus suggested carefully getting up as the others nodded.

Severus and Remus walked a short distance ahead though the werewolf time and time again looked over his shoulder at them as if to make sure that they were still there. It was slightly unnerving for Harry, but with Sirius' arm wrapped protectively around his waist he felt relatively safe.

Not many students had chosen to stay at the castle over the holidays, and so the house tables had once again disappeared in order to be replaced by one long table in the middle of the hall. Dumbledore was absent, but most of the other teachers, two Aurors, Lucius and Narcissa, Ron and Hermione were already sitting around the table. Ron and Hermione's lips were slightly swollen and Ron's hair was almost as unruly as Harry's so that it could be easily deduced how they had spent their time. Harry grinned, sitting down next to Ron and nudging him in the side.

"Having a good time?" he asked casually.

Ron blushed a bright red; Hermione suddenly became even more interested in her History notes.

"What have you been up to, mate?" Ron challenged.

"I had babysitters." Harry rolled his eyes. "So get your mind out of the gutter."

"I'm not your babysitter, Potter." Severus sneered.

"Harry," the elf insisted.

"That's what I said," Severus answered. "Don't be so fastidious."

"I'd stop being fastidious if you stopped treating me as if I was a stranger," Harry snapped at him.

"Excuse me if more time passed for me than a few days," Severus retorted sharply. "It's not the same anymore."

"I'm the same," the small boy returned softly. "Why can't you accept that?"

"Because you aren't supposed to be the way I remember you." Severus narrowed his eyes. "You're supposed to be the superficial, foolhardy, prejudiced, spoilt little hero I pictured you to be."

"I never was like that, Severus," Harry murmured, turning his head away. "Why can't you see?"

"I do," Severus argued, reaching for Harry's hand and squeezing it tightly. "I just don't like to be wrong. You know me, Harry, you must have expected something like this."

"I didn't expect that I would have to start all over again to convince you that I'm worthy to be your friend," Harry whispered.

"You never had to convince me of that, Harry." The tall man chuckled deeply. "Don't belittle yourself like this."

"So you will call me 'Harry'?" the green-eyed boy challenged, and Severus nodded dutifully.

"Outside of class, yes. And now eat."

"Your fucked-up son was that shameless dominant?" Sirius' voice suddenly rose over the pleasant soft chattering, and everyone turned towards him.

"Yes," Lucius replied tersely. "I cannot change it anymore."

"Do you know what that scumbag did to Harry?" Sirius spat. "You can't just wave it away because it's in the past. He's your son. I bet you instigated him to do it, didn't you? Death Eater!"

Lucius glared at him, his hand itching for his wand. "I thought I had taught my son better, but nonetheless this is none of your concern and I don't owe you an apology. This is between my son, Harry and me."

"Harry is my mate. It does concern me," the shadow veela hissed.

"It wasn't Lucius' fault, Sirius," Harry interrupted him softly, putting his hand on his arm. "He saved me."

"You wouldn't have needed saving if he hadn't reproduced," Sirius insisted stubbornly, still glowering at the blond.

"But I would have needed another dominant, and it could have been much worse, Sirius," Harry argued softly. "Maybe they would never have sent me back in time, and I would never have met you. I wouldn't want to risk that."

"It was wrong what he did," Sirius growled. "What he forced you to do."

"I know that," Harry returned earnestly. "I'm not trying to defend him, but you can't blame Lucius for it. Draco hates me and it had nothing to do with his upbringing. Would you have been able to put your differences aside if you were assigned as Severus' dominant?"

"We would never have clashed so violently if Snape was a submissive," Sirius dismissed the idea.

"Severus is a submissive," Remus spoke up.

"No, he is not," Sirius argued, looking incredulously at the werewolf.

"Yes, he is, how do you suppose it works out with me being an alpha werewolf?" Remus growled testily.

"James and I wouldn't have attacked him like we did if he wasn't on the same level as we were." Sirius sneered. "You must have a very low opinion of us if you think we'd hurt a submissive."

The two Marauders glared at each other.

"If Severus was no dominant, Harry wouldn't have been able to spend so much time alone with him," Lucius offered indifferently.

"And if he was a dominant Harry wouldn't speak with him like he does," Sirius grumbled.

Suddenly they all turned towards Severus, who was glaring at Harry, who in turn covered guiltily, pressing closer to Sirius. "Thank you so very much, **Harry**, for dragging me into this little dispute. I always knew why I trusted you."

"I'm sorry, Severus," Harry whispered. "I thought you had at least told Remus."

"Told me what?" Remus' eyes were narrowed dangerously as they bore into his partner's black eyes.

"Neutral," Severus said shortly, meeting the werewolf's gaze briefly. "I'm a neutral."

"But," Hermione gasped. "They're almost as rare as submissive elves. Most of them die because of the creature genes fighting each other."

"Thank you, Miss Granger." Severus scowled at her. "I'm sure that's all very exciting for you, but I assure you, I already knew this."

Hermione blushed, mumbling something like an apology.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Remus asked, hurt tinting his voice.

"I didn't deem it necessary." Severus raised an eyebrow. "Or is it that important to you?"

"No."

"Then I don't see a problem," Severus concluded.

"The problem is that during all the years we've been together you kept this from me." Remus stood up, his shoulders slumped. "I thought you trusted me."

"Just great," Severus spat, standing up to follow the ex-Gryffindor. "Stupid Gryffindor logic!"

"I'm sorry, Severus," Harry whispered, and the older man rolled his eyes.

"You will help me fix this, Harry," he demanded, and Harry nodded immediately. "Good, then I think I can forgive you."

Harry smiled in relief, watching as the tall man swept from the room.

"That's why you like him so much," Sirius murmured, absentmindedly loading his plate with a third helping.

"I also like his character, Sirius," Harry chastised him lightly. "I don't really care that he's a neutral."

"Of course you wouldn't, but it would've pacified me to know," Sirius murmured softly, kissing Harry's temple. "Should we go outside?"

"Do you think Severus and Remus will be fine?" Harry asked anxiously and Sirius chuckled.

"Remus never could stay angry very long, Harry. He's a very forgiving person. Don't worry about them."

"Can Mione and Ron come with us?" Harry asked, noting the wary looks the couple was sending them.

"Sure." Sirius carefully stood up, forcing Harry to get up as well, and wrapped an arm around Harry's narrow waist. "Who knows what I'll do to you if they aren't there to chaperone us." He chuckled lightly as Harry blushed and pressed a kiss to his neck. "Now, who's blushing, my sweet?"

Harry only blushed harder and Sirius' smirk widened. Ron and Hermione hastened to get up as well; the redhead quickly stuffed the last of his roll into his mouth, which earned him a reprimanding look from Hermione, who seemed mildly disgusted.

Shortly before Sirius stepped through the huge double doors, he turned around once more, staring at Lucius. "This conversation isn't over yet, Malfoy. You better watch your back."

"You are not the only one who hates my son for what he did," Lucius returned coldly. "I think he is the one who should be on his guard."

Sirius growled lowly, but gave a sharp nod and then led Harry from the hall, holding the door open for Hermione and Ron.

"Shouldn't you take a jacket?" Harry asked as Sirius determinedly steered them to the entrance doors.

Sirius only laughed. "I appreciate your concern, tiny, but I'm sure the fresh air won't kill me. Do you need a jacket?"

"How come you're allowed to mother me?" Harry pouted, and Sirius smiled once again that smile that had lost nothing of the warmth and safety it radiated, though it looked strangely out of place on his thin face.

"Because I can still easily throw you over my shoulder," he teased. "Once you can do that, you're allowed to mother me as much as you like."

"That's only because of Severus' potion," Harry insisted. "You should go and see Madam Pomfrey. I want you to get better."

"I already feel much better, Harry." Sirius sighed. "I don't need that fussy nurse to bind me to a bed and force potions down my throat, and I don't need a jacket, either. You're everything I need right now, love."

Ron quite suddenly found himself hit over the head and at the receiving end of Hermione's glare. "Why do you never say things like that?"

"Why would I tell Harry something like that?" Ron blinked, rubbing his head slowly. "I don't say such things to my brothers, either."

"Not Harry, you idiot," Hermione snapped at him. "Tell **me** something like that!"

Sirius chuckled softly, pulling Harry away as the young couple started to argue. But the two Aurors who were assigned to keep an eye on Sirius followed them like shadows.

"I guess my plan to kidnap you will have to wait," Sirius murmured, pressing a small kiss into Harry's hair. "They're a bit annoying."

"Should I make them go away?" Harry asked, and the Animagus cocked an eyebrow.

"How would you go about getting rid of them?"

"Ask them?" Harry offered uncertainly.

Sirius grinned at him. "I want to see that."

"Okay." The elf nodded, freeing himself from Sirius' embrace and walking over to Nymphadora Tonks and Kingsley Shacklebolt. "Would you leave us alone, please? You're making Sirius nervous and irritated, and that's making me feel uncomfortable. Please?"

"Now, Harry, we have our orders from the Minister," Shacklebolt returned in his deep voice, but when Harry put a small hand on his arm and looked up with his best puppy-dog eyes, he had to steel himself. "We can't just abandon our post. There's a reason we a here."

"I know the reason," Harry said morosely. "You don't trust me. But I don't need a babysitter, and I can look after myself."

"Harry ..." Shacklebolt faltered as Harry's eyes began to water. "Well, alright, I guess we could give you a bit of privacy, as long as you promise to stay within sight."

"Oh, thank you." Harry smiled brilliantly at him and winked at Tonks, who grinned back at him, before he ran back to Sirius, who had watched them with amusement and slight jealousy.

"You flirted with him," he deadpanned, and Harry spun around to face him.

"I did not!"

"Yes, you did," Sirius argued. "And I would be angry if it didn't serve the purpose of getting you alone. Let's not talk about it anymore."

"Okay," Harry whispered, and Sirius sighed.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, little one."

"I didn't flirt with him. I just asked nicely, and Shacklebolt knows that I can look after myself," Harry insisted but leant into Sirius' touch.

"I might have overreacted," Sirius relented, leading Harry to a tree and making him sit down. "I just don't want to lose you, Harry."

"You aren't going to lose me," Harry murmured, putting his head on Sirius' chest. "I'm so glad to have you back."

"As I am," Sirius returned, absently running his hands through Harry's hair. "I love you."

"Love you, too," Harry replied with a blindingly happy smile.

They lay like that for almost two hours, enjoying each other and the warming sun. Sirius had taken off his shirt, claiming that he needed to get his tan back, and Harry's head rested comfortably in the crook of his neck while he told Sirius about his life so far, distracting the veela with a kiss whenever Sirius swore to take his revenge on the Dursleys, Voldemort, the Malfoys, Dobby or whoever had wronged Harry.

"Harry," someone called, making them both sit up. "Where did you disappear to? I thought we wanted to spend some time together."

Ron and Hermione peered down at him, and Harry blushed lightly.

"As I see it, you were the ones who disappeared," Sirius stated and it was their time to blush. "We've been here for the last few hours."

"Anyway, Dumbledore arranged training for you, Harry," Hermione said prissily. "Occlumency with Professor Snape, Defence with Professor Lupin, and Mr. Malfoy will help you with your elf powers."

"Now?" Harry asked with little enthusiasm.

"Yes, now, Harry. You know how important it is for you to be able to defend yourself. Voldemort is still after you, and you have to be prepared for his next attack," Hermione told him sternly.

"You should go," Sirius said, though he, too, didn't sound happy. "I won't let the old fool use you as his weapon, but I fear that won't dissuade Voldemort. I need you to be safe."

"Fine, I guess," Harry muttered, timidly pressing a kiss to Sirius' lips. "I'll go then?"

"I'll bring you," Sirius said, helping Harry up. "I'm sure Remus wouldn't mind letting me stay."

Harry gave a sigh of relief. He was a bit afraid of having lessons with the werewolf, but he guessed that he would have to face his fears and overcome them if he wanted to survive his next encounter with Voldemort.

*_*_*

The lesson actually went rather smoothly, with Sirius' arms making him feel relatively safe even as Remus attacked him and demanded that he block and send the curses back at him.

By the end, Harry was nonetheless close to tears, and Remus considerately left the room so that Sirius could calm him down. "Beautiful, what's wrong, hmm? You were doing well. Don't cry anymore; it's making me really sad to see all those tears."

"I'm sorry. I'm hurting him." Harry sniffled. "He helped me so often, and I could always talk with him and now... Look at me, Sirius, I'm a wreck."

"You're certainly not a 'wreck'," Sirius chastised him. "You're a bit... emotional and insecure right now. Also because of me. You'll learn to get used to this and Remus loves you, Harry. He always did. Almost as much as I love you. I think he was really jealous when I was named your godfather, you know. He spent whole nights watching over you when he couldn't sleep because of the full moon. Remus always said you made him more calm and docile. I think he always felt that you inherited James' elf genes. If anyone understands what you are going through, it is Remus. He transforms into a deathly and dangerous beast once a months and he can't control his actions then, either."

"He scares me," Harry whispered. "If you hadn't been there, I wouldn't have survived two minutes of this training."

"But I'm here, Harry," Sirius assured. "And I'll always be there."

"Definitely not, Black," Severus spat as he entered the room. "Harry needs his full concentration for Occlumency, and I have no motivation to bear your presence longer than I absolutely must. Go and keep the wolf company or do something else. I really don't care as long as you don't do so here."

"Do you want me to stay, Harry?" Sirius asked, ignoring the Potion's Master.

"I'll be okay," Harry whispered, wrapping his arms around Sirius' neck. "You can go back to sun-bathing. Severus will take good care of me."

"He better," Sirius muttered, giving him a chaste kiss, before he glared at Severus and stalked from the room.

"For some reason, I had hoped he would be more bearable after being in Azkaban for so long." Severus scowled. "Stupid, I know, but I guess you never quite reach the state of wisdom to stop hoping."

"Are you and Remus okay again?" Harry asked, getting up and carefully approaching the dour wizard.

"Yes, and that's all I'm going to say," Severus snapped. "Occlumency, now."

"Will you actually explain to me what I should do?" Harry asked nervously. "The last time your instructions weren't very helpful. I'm sorry."

Severus sighed. "I realise that, you don't have to apologise. Take a seat, and I'll do my best to make you understand."

Harry smiled gratefully at him as he sat down and listened to what Severus had to say about the art of Occlumency - and Severus certainly had to say a lot. Though Harry did his best to pay attention, he couldn't help it that sometimes his concentration dwindled and his thoughts wandered to Sirius. He wondered what Sirius was doing, if he was really outside enjoying the sun or if he had found something else to amuse himself with.

"Alright." Severus stood up abruptly. "I think we'll leave it at that. If I see another memory of you and Black together, I'm going to be seriously ill."

Harry stuck out his tongue at him, massaging his temples. "My head hurts."

"That's normal," Severus offered.

"Doesn't make it less painful," Harry groaned, just as the door was pushed open, and Lucius strode in.

The blond veela crouched down in front of the small elf, gently patting Harry's knees. "Are you okay, little elf?"

"I'm fine." Harry nodded with a small smile. "But I don't think I have any talent for Occlumency."

"It could be worse," Severus told him. "For a Gryffindor, you're doing rather well, actually."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Harry asked, hurt tinting his voice.

Severus sneered. "Don't take it personally. It's a fact that Gryffindors wear their hearts on their sleeves. Even without Legilimency, I can tell exactly what you feel."

"Then why am I supposed to learn this?" Harry asked petulantly.

"Because not everyone knows you as well as I do." Severus stated. "And even if you never master Occlumency, it will do you good to discipline your mind and order your thoughts."

"You always have a way to make me feel better," Harry mocked. "You make me sound like a deranged teenager."

"No, that's Black's role." Severus sneered. "Have fun with him, Lucius."

"Meanie," Harry shouted after him before turning to Lucius. "What are we going to do?"

"I want you to learn to use your elf powers. Like you did to me in the past. Manipulate me," Lucius explained, but Harry began to shake his head vigorously. "Sirius won't like that. He'll be angry with me and he'll be jealous and think I'm cheating on him and..."

"Harry, calm down." Lucius carefully grasped Harry's shaking hands. "Sirius will not know of this."

"Are you asking me to lie to him?!" Harry exclaimed, wringing his hands. "Please don't force me to do that. Please."

"If you want him to know, I will explain it to him, Harry." Lucius sighed. "But you really need to learn how to use your submissiveness to your advantage. I heard how you got Shacklebolt to leave you alone. Don't you realise the power you have? You could manipulate all of us; you could manipulate the Death Eaters, anyone with just an ounce of creature blood in their veins and probably everyone else as well. Harry, it's not like you are betraying Sirius with this: It's a necessity, and I promise you that he wants you to be safe as well."

"But it would feel wrong. I promised him not to use my charm on anyone but him," Harry pleaded with him. "Sirius was so annoyed after I did that to Mr. Shacklebolt and I didn't even notice I was doing anything."

"Harry, you need to learn this," Lucius said sternly. "I take full responsibility for this."

Harry ducked his head, clenching his hands into fists, nodding mutely.

"This is not a punishment, Harry." The blond made to take him into his arms, but Harry shied back. "Harry..."

"Then why does it feel like one?" Harry whispered, and Lucius sighed.

"Is it that bad for you, little elf? I mean Narcissa has no problems with using her veela allure against me or anyone else. Is this only about what Sirius will say?"

"I don't want to hurt him, Lucius," Harry murmured. "Sirius is jealous enough without me giving him a reason. I'm not like that; it wouldn't feel right. How do you think Sirius would feel if I flirted with you? What would Narcissa think?"

"She knows what I'm doing here," Lucius assured him. "She's not very happy about it, but she understands the importance of this. Harry, this could decide whether you survive or not. It's a skill you need to learn, like Occlumency. There's nothing sexual about it. It doesn't mean that you want me, I know that."

"But what if you lose control?" Harry whispered. "What if it goes too far?"

"That's what I'm trying to teach you, little elf. How to use your charm and how to control us dominants with it. If I should lose control completely and do something that you don't want me to do, you have to send me away. But I promise you, I won't be as affected as I was in the past since I'm bonded now. This is your chance to regain control."

"But why can't I try it on Sirius?" Harry argued.

"Because he's already more affected by you than anyone else and, believe it or not, you are already manipulating him and his reactions." Lucius chuckled. "That's what mates do. Your smallest gesture influences his behaviour towards you. I don't need to show you how to do that: it comes naturally to you."

"But you'll explain it to Sirius?" Harry worried his bottom lip and Lucius nodded. "And when he doesn't like it we'll stop?"

"Yes, Harry." Lucius sighed. "I already said I would take responsibility for this."

"I'm sorry," Harry muttered, lowering his eyes. "I didn't mean to annoy you."

"I know, Harry, I expected something like this," Lucius told him with a gentle smile. "All issues resolved? Can we start?"

"I guess," Harry mumbled. "So what do I do? Basically just look cute or should I do something else?"

Lucius chuckled. "No, you don't just look cute, though you do that remarkably well. Try to get some physical contact, like hugging, nuzzling someone's neck or putting a hand on someone's arm like you did today. It is similar to flirting, but you do not have to come across as witty or perky, quite the opposite actually. You have to make them want to protect you. Lower your eyes and look at them from under your lashes. Look small. Worry your lip and if you can shed one or two tears, it would not do any harm, either. You have to give of the impression of total helplessness."

"I don't think that will work with Death Eaters," Harry dared to object. "They like to see people helpless and certainly don't feel any urge to protect me."

"Harry, trust me, this will work," Lucius answered. "No one can resist a submissive if they set their mind on it. You have to make them forget who you are and who they are. I know you can do this, little elf."

"Do I really have to?" Lucius sent him a stern look. "Fine, but I still think it's wrong and absolutely embarrassing."

When Lucius didn't allow Harry to back out, though, the elf sighed deeply, but then timidly tried to heed all of Lucius' instructions after an encouraging nod from the blond.

It felt so wrong to be flirting with Lucius with the intention of manipulating him. He knew that he had been unconsciously doing it a few times already, but he had never really wanted to do so. He didn't want Lucius to lose his control, and he didn't want Lucius to want him. He didn't want to play with another's emotion and he certainly didn't want anyone to go crazy with love.

Nonetheless, he shyly took a hold of Lucius' hand and when he felt the older wizard's resistance melt away, he moved into his arms, whispering pleas into his ears. He felt Lucius' arms close protectively around him as he was rocked gently, and for a moment, he almost forgot that this didn't happen because Lucius really wanted to comfort him, but only because he was being manipulated. He looked over to the hourglass on the desk and decided that he had had enough humiliation for today.

"Lucius," he whispered, trying to put some distance between them.

"What can I do for you, Harry?" Lucius almost purred, his eyes strangely dilated. "Is there anything wrong? Don't you feel good?"

"I feel kind of constrained, Lucius," Harry whispered, not able to lie anymore. "Could you maybe leave me alone for a bit?"

"I'm not leaving you alone when you need me," the blond returned forcefully. "I can make you feel better."

Harry felt his eyes water, not able to stop the tears from running down his cheeks, even though he knew that this would only make the situation worse. Lucius looked at him in concern, thumbing away the tears.

"Don't cry, honey," Lucius patted Harry's hair before kissing his cheek.

Harry sobbed, pulling back into himself. He knew this wouldn't go over well. He felt so dirty. _Like a whore_, a voice in his head supplied that sounded suspiciously like Draco. So what if he could manipulate dominants? It didn't mean that he wanted to do that. He could also jump from the Astronomy tower, but that didn't mean he would do it, though right now it certainly seemed like a rather good option, especially as Lucius had started to kiss away his tears. There was nothing sexual in the act, but it still felt so very wrong to Harry, who tried in vain to push the veela away. Lucius' arms only tightened around him.

"What is going on here?" Sirius enraged voice startled even Lucius, who looked up briefly at the new arrival, and Harry nearly cried in relief as Sirius pulled him away from Lucius and hid him behind his back.

Lucius hissed testily.

After Sirius had assured himself that Harry was safely hidden away, he lashed out. It didn't matter that he didn't know all the facts, the one fact that mattered was that Lucius had dared to touch his mate and that said mate was crying and mentally calling for help. It was enough of a reason to act first and ask questions later. His wings tore through his skin and his new robes, making it impossible for Lucius, whose eyes had began to clear, to see Harry.

The furious screech that escaped Sirius didn't sound very human anymore. But it was the only warning Lucius got before the slightly younger man bombarded him with balls of ice. Harry whimpered, he could feel Lucius' pain and Sirius' distress and anger, and he really didn't know how to handle it. He sank to the floor, curling into a foetal position, but retained his hold on Sirius' trousers. He didn't want his dominant to leave him alone now though he knew that he deserved it.

The sound of glass shattering was accompanied by profanities and curses spewing from Sirius' mouth as he attacked the blond time and time again, not listening to the attempts of explanation and ignoring the fact that Lucius didn't return his offence but only tried to shield himself as best as he could. Lucius' hair was matted, and there was a bleeding cut over his right eye by the time Sirius had vented his anger. The shadow veela turned to Harry, who was still crying silently, muttering apologies.

Sirius scooped Harry up into his arms, gently patting the inky hair and rubbing his back. "Shh, you are safe now, Harry. I'm here now, shh. Calm down."

But Harry couldn't calm down as much as he tried to. Sirius was angry with him and if he didn't obey, Sirius would be even angrier. Unconsciously he reached for the small silver rose pendant Lucius had given him before he went to the past.

"What the fuck were you doing, Malfoy?" Sirius hissed after it became apparent that Harry was in no state to answer questions.

"I told Harry to use his elf powers on me so that he would learn to control them and would be able to use them to his advantage." Lucius shook his head in order to clear his mind completely. "Everything spiralled out of control. I apologise, Sirius, but you need to get a reign on your anger before you scare Harry even more. Take your anger out on me, if you must. He warned me, but I thought he would not have as much effect on me since I'm bonded. He said you would not like it. Sirius, he truly never wanted to do it. I forced him."

"Like father, like son," Sirius muttered spitefully, but then the grey-eyed man took a deep breath to calm himself before he carefully sat down with Harry in his lap. "I'm not angry with you, Harry. I could never be angry with you for something so out of your control." He chastely brushed his lips over Harry's. "I felt your fear and I know that you never wanted this. It's not your fault, beautiful. Please believe me. Tell me what you feel."

"I..." Harry finally looked up at him, and Sirius' heart clenched painfully as he saw the emerald eyes swimming in tears. "I..."

"Yes, Harry?" Sirius urged him gently. "How do you feel?"

"Like a whore," Harry whispered, and Sirius pulled him even closer to his chest. "I didn't mean to disobey you."

"Hush now, you're no whore, Harry," Sirius replied forcefully. "You're my mate, and Malfoy had no right to demand something like this from you. It's his fault, not yours. And flirting is not bad, Harry. It doesn't make you a whore; it only makes me jealous."

"You aren't angry?" Harry asked hopefully, and Sirius shook his head, sending him an encouraging smile.

"No, I'm not angry, tiny, but next time you want to try out your powers of seduction, try them on me, yes?"

"Yes." Harry nodded immediately, smiling ever so slightly as Sirius helped him up, his hand loosening its grasp on the silver rose.

"What have you got there?" the Animagus questioned, carefully prying away his hand. "You had that in the past as well. What is it?"

"Lucius gave it to me," Harry whispered fearfully. "So that I could call for help."

Sirius growled lowly. "That was the reason he suddenly appeared out of nowhere and stole you away from me. You won't wear it anymore!"

He made to tear it away from Harry's neck, the fine silver chain not looking like it would withstand his attack, but instead it only cut into Harry's skin, causing a small cry of pain to escape his lips.

"It's charmed so that only Lucius can take it off," he explained tearfully, and Sirius looked mildly sheepish and definitely a little guilty.

"Take it off, Malfoy!" he ordered. "And don't you dare to touch Harry."

"Is this really necessary, Sirius?" Lucius returned, slowly, unaggressively getting up. "Isn't it a good thing that Harry has a way to contact me if he is in danger?"

"Like the last time?" Sirius spat. "Why, pray tell should you be the one to know if Harry is in danger? He's not your mate. I want this thing off, Malfoy, now."

"Fine." Lucius sighed, looking apologetically at Harry, who was trembling slightly as he unlocked the necklace and let it slip in his pocket, regretfully noticing the bruised skin where the chain had dug into the skin. "I hope you won't come to regret this."

Sirius snorted derisively before he pushed Lucius away from his mate and took Harry once more into his arms, placing butterfly kisses on the abused neck.

"I'm sorry for this here," he murmured, skimming his fingers over the sore spot. "I'll get you a salve from Madam Pomfrey."

"It's okay," Harry answered. "Are you angry with me? You never said anything until now."

"I never really noticed it or thought about it and no, dashing, I'm not angry at you." Sirius shook his head slightly. "I didn't mean to scare or hurt you. Are you okay again?" Sirius asked and wrapped an arm around Harry's tiny waist.

"Yes," Harry answered. "I'm sorry you had to come and rescue me and about the necklace."

"I was already on my way to you." Sirius grinned at him. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too," Harry returned. "How did you know I was in trouble?"

"I just felt a lot of fear and emotional pain that wasn't my own. **I** don't need a stupid piece of jewellery to tell me when you're in danger." The shadow veela threw a brief, contemptuous look at the blond before he carefully placed a kiss on Harry's temple. "I knew that you needed me so I came."

This small sentence made Harry feel all fuzzy all of a sudden. _You needed me so I came._ No one had ever come just because Harry **needed **someone. He had always been left to fend for himself, but now Sirius had come to save him because he needed him. It meant more to him than he could possibly say with words, and so he carefully tugged Sirius down and gave him a timid but long and passionate kiss, saying all he couldn't say. Sirius' hands wrapped possessively around his waist as he deepened the kiss.

Harry's stomach decided to interrupt the romantic moment with a low growl, and Sirius drew back with a chuckle. "Hungry? Then come on. I think we're just in time for dinner, and I have this very interesting story to tell to my dearest cousin." He glared at Lucius, who blanched drastically. "I think watching her reaction will make me feel so much better."

Harry looked up, startled, not sure if he agreed with this form of punishment, but finally came to the conclusion that Narcissa would have to know of it eventually and that Lucius deserved a bit of retribution for not listening to him. If it made Sirius happy he wouldn't argue.

Sirius' mood was definitely lifted by the amount of swear words, hexes and curses that Narcissa bestowed on her husband before she dragged him off with the threat of discussing this in private. He then began to pile food onto his plate as well as Harry's, making sure that Harry was sitting contentedly in his lap.

"I take it your lesson with Lucius didn't go too well, Harry?" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled suspiciously, and not even Sirius' low growl did anything to dim it. "I think we need to rework the lesson plans and concentrate on discovering the skills that are as of yet undiscovered. After all elves are creatures of nature and not necessarily of seduction. Perhaps we chose the wrong approach for your training."

"Damn well you did!" Sirius grumbled. "Merlin knows what could have happened if I hadn't come."

"My words exactly, Sirius." Dumbledore smiled benignly at him. "Nobody is above making mistakes after all, and we should just strive to learn from them."

"Let's hope that Voldemort shares your opinion on that," Sirius snapped testily. "You can make your mistakes elsewhere, but not with my Harry!"

Sirius glared at the Headmaster, who returned his gaze calmly. "I understand that you are upset, Sirius, but the initial situation has not changed. Voldemort is still at large and Harry will need to develop all the skills and advantages that are open to him. Lucius can help him."

"And what do you suggest Malfoy teaches him?" Sirius scowled after carefully kissing Harry's neck. "No one knows what powers Harry has."

"Which was the reason Lucius was supposed to start with the powers we are already aware of," Dumbledore offered. "We'll have to find out what else Harry is capable of."

Sirius grumbled, clearly displeased, but didn't argue anymore which might have had something to do with Harry nuzzling into him.

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_Reviews make my world that crucial little bit brighter..._


	23. Normality

_Disclaimer: Not mine, but you already know that, don't you? If not, see the first chapter!_

_Author's Note: Yes, you guessed it, the next chapter is here! Hope you like it!_

_**Warnings for this chapter:** A bit of **lime** near the beginning.  
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_Beta: TheElementalMaster, thank you. You're amazing!_

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**23. NORMALITY**

Sirius carefully disentangled himself from his still sleeping mate and then leant down to whisper into Harry's ear to keep on sleeping. When he was sure that Harry would heed the gentle command, he slipped into his trackies and left the room.

He had set himself a tight training schedule to regain his strength and though most days he would like nothing more than to snuggle back into bed and pull Harry close to his chest, he still got up every morning to run a few laps around the quidditch pitch, do sit-ups and crunches.

The result was nothing to sneeze at, if Sirius said so himself. Now, almost three weeks after his release from Azkaban and one week after Pettigrew had been sentenced to the Dementor's Kiss, he was almost back to his old form. He had gained some weight, built up his muscles, and his skin had acquired a healthy glow and a nice tan. His hair, though still short, was glossy again and formed something that you could safely dub a hairstyle, opposed to the tufts of cropped black hair that had previously decorated his head.

All in all, he was quite satisfied, but he still kept to his routine, enjoying the chance to run, run, run without boundaries or restrictions, feel the freedom rushing past him and feel the strength return to his weary bones. The strength he needed to care for Harry. But that was not a problem with his training and the many talks he had had with Remus and also because sleeping with Harry in his arms had kept the nightmares of the years in Azkaban at bay.

Remus sometimes joined him in his training and this morning as well, the werewolf was waiting for him in the Entrance Hall, welcoming him with a gentle smile and a warm hug.

"Ready to go?"

"Of course. Let's hurry so that I can hurry back to Harry."

Remus laughed, but set into motion, easily keeping pace with Sirius, carefully reigning Sirius in when he was being overly eager and encouraging him when he was having a low.

"Enough, Paddy, don't overdo it," Remus admonished him, stopping his friend from starting another round of sit-ups. "You still got an entire day ahead of you."

"Okay," Sirius agreed, feeling reasonably sweaty and exhausted as he reached for Remus' hand to pull himself up. "I want to get back before Harry wakes up, anyway. I see him seldom enough as it is."

"Sirius..."

"I know, Moony, I know. Harry has a life here, he needs his friends and his freedom, but he needs me, too," Sirius answered, shaking his head. "He needs me."

"That is out of the question, Paddy," Remus appeased him, patting Sirius' shoulder.

"Then how come I'm playing only a secondary role, huh?" the Animagus demanded. "Harry has too much responsibility, too much work and if I expected him to spend more time with me, I would only add to his stress, but if I don't he'll feel neglected... And **I **certainly feel neglected."

"How about I arrange for Harry to have the day off so that you can take him out on a date?" Remus offered with a large smile. "I happen to agree that we all could use a break, Harry especially."

"A date?" Sirius asked sarcastically. "Your optimism is all well and good, Moony, but there's no chance that Dumbledore or the Ministry will let me go anywhere alone with my mate. Even if you somehow manage to get Harry out of training for today we'll still be shadowed and escorted and observed like two fucking criminals. Or one criminal and his innocent and helpless prey."

"Don't speak like this, Paddy. Don't make yourself, or Harry, something you aren't," Remus reprimanded him. "I know you could never be as bitter as you would have a right to be."

"I think I'm doing a pretty damn good job," the black-haired man muttered as they reached the Entrance Hall. "I'm so sick of it! All of those awkward, suspicious looks or the pitying ones that are almost worse. I'm sick of being watched and of Harry dropping almost dead from exhaustion because he trains too hard because Dumbledore drilled it into his mind that it's his fucking responsibility to save the whole world, which it's damn well not!"

"Sirius..."

"I know. _Calm down, take a deep breath._ Haven't I heard that before?" Sirius murmured sarcastically. "Whatever, Remus, I'm tolerating this whole **arrangement** because I want Harry safe and they have the means to make sure that he is, but I'm not going to like it or play by their rules. They want to keep Harry from me? Let them try! But I'm not going to beg them for even **one** moment of time with my mate and demonstrate to them just how desperate I am by inviting them to intrude on a date with my Harry. Forget it, Moony."

"I wasn't suggesting that you should, but would it be so bad if you invited Severus and me to come on a double date with you and Harry?" Remus asked.

"You'll never be able to convince Dumbledore of this plan of yours." Sirius shook his head.

"I might not, but Severus certainly has enough power to back up his arguments," Remus stated confidently. "Just trust us. We'll come by in, let's say, an hour? Great."

"I'll trust one half of that_ '_us'," Sirius called after him, but returned to Harry's and his rooms, feeling rather elated and relieved.

After one quick look into their bedroom to assure himself that Harry was still asleep, he took a refreshing shower and then, with only a towel around his waist, he sat down next to Harry, smiling in amusement when he noticed how Harry had wrapped himself around his pillow. He carefully pushed the blanket down, revealing Harry's silky skin as he was only wearing his pyjama pants, thanks to Sirius' power of persuasion.

Or, in other words, Sirius had hidden Harry's pyjama top and after he had assisted Harry on his unsuccessful search for a couple of minutes, he had convinced Harry that he was very able to keep him warm and safe through the night and that Harry really didn't need more clothing. He planned to convince Harry to abandon his pants in the same way.

Sirius let one of his fingers wander along the curve of Harry's small body, smiling a little more as Harry immediately tried to get more contact. He kissed Harry's neck and then quietly moved to Harry's other side so that he was facing Harry's front before he pulled the blanket completely away. Sirius lay down next to Harry, who was still sound asleep and wrapped around his pillow.

Very carefully he scooted lower and let one of his hands wander under the waistband of Harry's pants, gingerly pushing them down. Harry sighed, shifting a little, but didn't wake as Sirius slowly began to massage Harry through his underwear. He applied a bit more pressure, avidly watching the elf's face. Harry's hands fluttered as he tried to press closer to the veela, his mouth slightly open and his brow creased as if he wasn't sure what he should think of the feelings coursing through him.

Sirius smirked as his small mate began to trash restlessly and soft mewls escaped his mouth. He lowered his own lips to the by now visible bulge in Harry's pants and began to suck gently on Harry's erection through the thin material of his boxers, while one of his hands teasingly played around one of Harry's dusty pink nipples. The moans became louder as the elf began to toss his head from side to side and arched his hips towards Sirius, who had focused his whole attention on making Harry come.

"Sirius." A small sigh fell from Harry's lips as the elf found his release.

Sirius chuckled lowly when sleepy and slightly glazed eyes fluttered open. "Good morning, beautiful, did you sleep well?"

"What?" Harry sat up, looking down at his lap and his soiled underwear and promptly blushed. "I'm sorry."

"Harry." Sirius opened his arms for his mate. "Why are you apologising? I assure you this was the effect I hoped to achieve with my ministrations."

"Oh." Harry's blush deepened. "So you...?"

"Yes," Sirius answered. "I couldn't resist. Does it bother you?"

Harry quickly shook his head and Sirius sighed in relief. "Thank you."

"It was my pleasure." Sirius smirked, allowing Harry to snuggle closer. "I miss you, Harry. I hardly see you anymore, you are always training or in class or spending time with your friends and all I do is wait for you. Is it too much to ask that I want to see you as well?"

"No." Harry shook his head before nestling into the crook of his neck. "I'm sorry, Sirius. I miss you, too, but..."

"I know it's not your fault, Harry," Sirius appeased him. "I know how much stress you're under, and I also know how hard you try to make some room for me in your life, but I just wished that it was more like it used to be. Without Voldemort to worry about. I feel kind of useless, like you lead your own life and I have no part of it - and I want to be part of it."

"I want you in my life as well," Harry murmured. "You are my life. But what should I do? I can't just not come to training anymore or miss classes or ignore my friends or - "

Sirius sighed, running his fingers through Harry's hair. "I know. I thought we could spend today together. Remus said that he'd arrange for you the day off. It's Sunday, for Merlin's Sake, you deserve some rest! Remus and Snape will come with us to keep an eye on us."

"Cool." Harry smiled happily, shyly kissing his cheek. "Where are we going?"

"I thought we could go to the cinema and then eat something." Sirius shrugged. "But if you want to do something else, I'm sure we can arrange it."

"No, that's sounds great," Harry replied. "Thank you."

"Erm, Harry." Sirius uncertainly poked his petite mate, who had closed his eyes again. "If you like my plan then you should probably get dressed and ready for the day."

"Give me five more minutes," Harry mumbled pleadingly, tightening his hold on the veela, who only chuckled.

"Okay, but only five minutes."

Harry murmured something unintelligible, and Sirius smiled to himself and enjoyed the moment, though he knew that Remus and Snape would be there soon. A knock sounded through their quarters and startled Harry.

"Who's that?" Harry asked nervously.

"Remus and that git you claim is the best person ever." Sirius disentangled himself with one last kiss to Harry's brow. "I'll go and open the door and you can get dressed, alright, tiny?"

He hastily threw away the slightly wet towel, pulled on his boxer shorts and a t-shirt and then went to open the door.

"Good morning again, Sirius," Remus greeted him cheerfully. "Can we come in? Where's Harry?"

"He's still a bit grumpy." Sirius grinned at him. "I guess he'll need some time to wake up completely."

"I told you we were too early," Severus snapped at the werewolf. "I could have finished that potion."

"You can finish the potion when we are back, Sev," Remus admonished him.

"Why do we even have to go with them?" Severus grumbled. "As if we don't see them often enough, and don't you dare to liken me to a petulant child because I am right and you know it. This day will end with us having to watch as they make out, and you will be too scandalised to do anything other than staring at them to make absolutely sure that they don't go too far instead of just telling them to stop because of course they deserve this and can use the time together."

Remus shook his head. "Severus, do you want to stay here?"

The Potion's Master floundered. "Now you're asking me?" He finally sneered. "That's a bit late now, isn't it? I have no mind to sit through **yet** another talk with Dumbledore to explain to him why I neglected my duty of keeping the Boy-Who-Lived safe as I had to promise him so that he would agree to this ludicrous excursion."

"If that's what you want," Remus answered mildly, before turning to Sirius once more. "Is it okay if we have breakfast here, Paddy?"

"Sure," Sirius answered. "I wonder what is taking Harry so long. Harry, are you coming out soon?" There was no reply and so Sirius called out again, "Harry, come out so that we can have breakfast."

The door opened very slowly, and Harry peeked out before hesitantly stepping outside with only a towel around his waist.

"Why aren't you dressed, Harry?" Sirius blinked, noting that it was his towel around Harry's waist, and then hastily went to black Severus and Remus' view on Harry's exposed body.

"My clothes are in the bathroom," Harry mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

"Then why didn't you wear your pyjamas?" Remus asked in confusion.

"They got... kind of... wet." Harry squeaked, blushing all over, and fled to the bathroom.

"Wet, Sirius?" The werewolf turned towards the veela with a deep scowl, "Why, pray tell, are Harry's pyjamas wet?"

"Things like that happen." Sirius shrugged nonchalantly, backing away slightly at the low growl that erupted from Remus' throat.

"Sirius Orion Black, you are not having sex with Harry while he's still in school and barely of age, are you?" he asked dangerously. "I had assumed at least so much responsibility of you as not to take advantage of your... of Harry."

"Come off it!" Sirius retorted. "I'm not sleeping with Harry - not that it's any of your business. And I don't plan to while Harry is still in school. I may be horny, but I love Harry and I know very well that he's not ready."

"Then how did his pyjamas get wet?" Remus challenged.

"Surely you know how teenage boys are." Sirius smirked. "Always so very... excitable. I only helped him along a bit."

Remus blushed brightly, and Severus groaned in exasperation, not really keen to think of anyone else's sex life. Sirius' smirk grew wider.

"Just promise me that you'll act like an adult." Remus sighed. "You know that you will be bonded if you have sex and that could have detrimental effects, on you and Harry, if you haven't completed the emotional and mental bond, yet."

"I know, Remus." Sirius rolled his eyes, smiling at Harry, who was slowly inching into the room.

Harry's cheeks were still slightly pink as he nervously shuffled closer and slipped into Sirius' lap, now fully dressed. Sirius pressed a kiss to his temple and wrapped his arms around his thin waist.

"You can stop blushing now, beautiful." Sirius chuckled lightly. "And you can consider yourself lucky that you missed Remus' lecture."

"Oh," Harry murmured. "What did you mean with emotional and mental bond, Remus? I thought it was only about... about... you know."

"Sex, Harry, you can say it." Sirius grinned, kissing Harry's blushing cheek.

But Remus saved him from his embarrassment. "The first step in your mating is the emotional bond, that you fall in love with each other and admit it. You've already completed that bond. The next step is your mental bond, which is established through getting to know each other and building up your trust. It will help you to know where the other is and what he feels. I'd say you are in that phase at the moment. The last step is the physical bond, which you have heard of already. It will seal your union, making it irrevocable."

"We'll take it slowly, Harry," Sirius said calmingly when he felt Harry tense. "You have absolutely nothing to worry about."

"Do you promise?" Harry asked in a whisper.

"Yes, Harry, I promise," Sirius answered. "We'll do this right, love."

Harry nodded gratefully, snuggling into the veela.

"I thought we were going to have breakfast." Severus impatiently tapped his fingers on his knee.

"Harry, would you get us something?" Sirius asked gently before he turned to the others. "Whenever he orders something from the house-elves they fall over themselves to fulfil all of his wishes, vocalised or not, within less than ten seconds."

"That's not true," Harry argued, while three hasty house-elves set the table with everything they could possibly desire from fresh rolls, croissants, pretzels, cereals, fruits, yogurt to eggs, sausages, pancakes, jam, marmalade, chocolate cream, peanut butter, bacon, cheese, ham and even ice cream.

"Of course it is, sweetheart." Sirius laughed at him. "Now eat something. You're much too thin."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Harry grumbled. "I'm not that thin!"

"In comparison to what, imp?" Severus sneered. "Just face it you are thin and small in comparison to almost everything and everyone."

Harry stuck out his tongue. "So what? It's not my fault; Lucius says I am supposed to be small and thin - for some reason or another. What is your excuse, Severus?"

"Cheeky brat." Severus scowled at him, and Harry laughed.

"I love how you look and that's why you look like you do," Sirius murmured seductively into his ear, and Harry blushed. "But I still want you to eat. I don't want to be afraid that you'll break if I treat you a bit more roughly.

"You aren't going to treat Harry roughly at all." Remus had caught what Sirius had whispered with his enhanced hearing and was now glaring at the veela, while Harry was once again reduced to blushes.

"Geez, Moony." Sirius rolled his eyes. "You act as if I'm a notorious brute and not madly in love with my little beauty. I'm not meddling in yours and Snape's love life, either - I'm no masochist and I don't enjoy nightmares!"

"Sirius!" Harry exclaimed. "Don't be so mean. They look cute together."

"What Black said was less offensive than that." Severus glared at Harry. "I don't do cute and I would really prefer it if you would keep me out of your quarrels."

"Oh, don't be so snarky!" Harry chastised him. "All I meant is that you're happy and that Sirius shouldn't be making stupid comments. Sorry."

Sirius sighed as Harry turned apologetic eyes on him. "Don't even think about apologising, beautiful. I think we should just change the subject. I thought we could explore Muggle London before going to the cinema, would that be alright with you? What film would you like to see?"

To Harry's horror Remus and Sirius wanted to see Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds". Severus had never been to see a film before and though he didn't want to admit it, he couldn't really conceive an idea of it and so claimed that he didn't care and just agreed with Remus.

Thus, while Harry really enjoyed walking through the Muggle part of London and especially the boat trip on the Thames, their visit to the cinema was less than agreeable and Harry was left clinging to Sirius throughout most of the film. The resentful part of him pointed out that this had most likely been the idea behind Sirius choosing such a film.

*_*_*

"Oh, come on, Harry," Sirius whined. "It wasn't that bad and it's over anyway. You can stop shaking."

Harry half-heartedly glared at him before he once again buried himself in Sirius' jacket. "I'm going to have nightmares, and it's all your fault. I hope you're happy now."

"Harry..." Sirius looked down at the small elf helplessly. "You don't have to be scared; birds don't attack people, least of all you. Don't you think that if you can handle a full-grown werewolf, birds should be no problem for you?"

"I will never be able to look at Hedwig like before," Harry complained. "And the ending was just plain weird, they could have at least found a solution. Then I would feel better."

Sirius shook his head in amusement. "It was just a film, Harry, and you barely saw half of it because you hid your face behind your hands or against my shoulder."

Harry glared at him. "You could at least act like you cared about my feelings!"

Sirius blinked. "Harry, I do care about you, but your fear is totally unfounded and a bit hilarious." He gently wrapped his arms around the delicate youth, looking appealingly at Remus. "What is really the matter?"

"I don't want birds to attack me," Harry whispered. "I can deal with Voldemort and Death Eaters attacking me, but I... I can't deal with animals hating me, that would be like you hating me."

"Harry, lovely, no one hates you. Well, okay, Voldemort hates you, but he's insane; what do you expect? I certainly don't hate you. Hedwig doesn't hate you, either, and I didn't see any of these doves trying to attack you, yet." Sirius sighed, starting to regret his idea of making Harry go to a horror film. "Do you want me to feel bad, Harry?"

"No," Harry exclaimed, looking up at him with wide green eyes "I'm sorry. But I really didn't like that film."

Sirius chuckled. "I had noticed. I promise you no birds will attack you. Believe me."

"And if you could believe him within the next half hour, I would be grateful," Severus interrupted with a deep scowl on his face. "That film was about as realistic as Trelawney's usual predictions and who cares anyway if birds are particularly fond of you or not."

"That's easy for you to say." Harry grumbled, but allowed Sirius to tug him into the Italian restaurant they had been standing in front of.

"Yes, I know, no one likes **me** anyway." Severus sneered.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," Harry argued. "Don't twist my words."

"You have to excuse me, but I'm hungry," Severus retorted. "And your little touch of paranoia has delayed us long enough."

"I like you," Harry muttered as he slipped onto the bench beside Sirius and snuggled into him. One of Sirius large hands calmingly squeezed his under the table as he held the menu in front of them.

"Don't I know," Severus replied, glaring at Remus when the werewolf dared to mimic Sirius' actions. "I can hold my own menu, wolf."

Remus replied with a gentle smile, offering his own menu to his partner and reaching for a new one.

They didn't have to wait long before a bouncy red-haired waitress came to take their order. "What may I bring you, gentlemen?"

They ordered and then talked quietly, but as Sirius continued carefully stroking Harry's sides and back to comfort him, Harry was fast asleep by the time their dinner arrived. They decided to let him sleep and asked the waitress to pack in his meal.

"He worked himself into a right fright," Severus commented with a quick look at the sleeping boy. "Are you sure you can handle him, Black? It took you quite long to calm him down."

"I surely would be able to form a stronger connection with him, if he wasn't kept away from me so often." Sirius retorted sharply, but still in a soft voice so as not to wake Harry. "But as it is, I hardly see him."

"Stop your whining." Severus sneered. "That's the reason for this day, isn't it?"

"I think Harry only reacted like this because he didn't see you for so long and only for short periods of time," Remus offered. "Plus, all the stress he's been under because of all the additional training. He's bound to be unsure and easily agitated because he can't be sure that you are not planning to leave him. Today, his self-control, which had veiled his fear and insecurities, burst. The film was merely the proverbial last straw."

Sirius tenderly placed a kiss on Harry's forehead, and the small elf sighed softly and pressed closer to him. "I'll be there for you now," Sirius whispered before he looked up at the others. "You've been wearing him out."

It was more than a simple statement, it was a tight-lipped threat and Sirius' hand that wasn't caressing Harry clenched around his vine glass.

"Not angry," Harry mumbled sleepily, nudging Sirius. "Want to sleep."

Sirius relaxed immediately, pulling Harry a little closer. "Why are you so tired, little one? Didn't you sleep well?"

Harry shrugged. "Nightmares."

"About what? Why didn't you tell me?" Sirius asked.

"About Azkaban." Harry shrugged again. "I didn't want to upset you."

"Why do you have nightmares about Azkaban?" Sirius asked in confusion, and Harry ducked his head, mumbling something.

"What was that, Harry?" Sirius asked. "I didn't understand you."

"I said they are your nightmares," Harry repeated lowly. "You were tossing around and muttering and you were scared. So I tried to help you."

"How?" Sirius asked.

"I tried to heal you." Harry looked just as confuse. "And then I fell asleep and had your nightmares."

"Oh, Harry, I'm so sorry," Sirius murmured. "If I had known - "

"No!" Harry protested. "You were afraid, and I couldn't have slept with that anyway. I don't want you to relive your time in Azkaban, not ever. It's not so bad for me."

"You shouldn't have done this, Harry," Sirius argued, and Remus looked as if he agreed. "You should have at least told me."

Harry winced and began to tremble slightly. "I wanted to help you."

"Just be grateful for it, Black," Severus hissed. "You wouldn't have recovered so quickly if Harry hadn't done that for you."

"I know that," Sirius retorted before he once again turned to Harry. "I appreciate it, Harry, I really do, but I don't want you to suffer for me. You have enough to worry about. How long has this been going on? I didn't have more than three or four nightmares and I didn't notice you having nightmares, either."

"Don't know, two weeks perhaps?" Harry muttered, looking down at his hands as Sirius' eyes narrowed.

"Why didn't I notice?" Sirius challenged.

"You are a heavy sleeper, and I always make sure to stay silent," Harry said with a touch of defiance as if daring the veela to challenge his words.

Sirius sighed. "You shouldn't have done it," he insisted on his point. "I don't want you to take my nightmares anymore."

"Do you forbid it?" Harry whispered and Sirius seemed thoughtful for a moment. "I don't want to have to forbid it, Harry."

"If you don't forbid it, I will do it again," Harry stated, trying to reign in his growing panic. "And if you forbid it, I won't be able to sleep anyway and it will be worse for you **and** me."

"What do you mean?" The grey-eyed wizard furrowed his brow.

"I can't sleep if you are afraid because then I can't feel safe," Harry explained, his green eyes pleading. "As long as you're there to make me feel safe I can deal with nightmares, Sirius, I promise."

"I can just take Dreamless Sleep," Sirius argued.

"And become addicted." Severus rolled his eyes. "Oh, that's such a good idea, Black."

"Keep your greasy git out of this, Moony," Sirius snapped, making Harry wince. "Sorry, Harry." He carefully kissed his small mate, wondering if he could really accept that gift. "I'll allow it, beautiful, but only under one condition: You have to promise me to wake me after every nightmare. I don't want you to fight through the after effects while I sleep peacefully. And you'll tell me if there's anything I can do for you and you'll stop before it gets too much."

"That's more than one condition." Harry smiled up at him. "But I promise. You know that I've never slept as good as with you, don't you? And I'm catching up on the missed sleep now, you don't have to worry."

"I still do," Sirius returned softly, gathering Harry in his arms once more. "I can't help it."

"Neither can I," Harry mumbled before he once more snuggled into Sirius' hard chest. "I have to do this. Please understand."

"You're incredible," the tall veela whispered tenderly, making sure that Harry was comfortable when he scooped him up and brought him back to Hogwarts where he watched over his sleep.

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_Remember, reviews make authors happy..._


	24. Kidnapping You

_Disclaimer: Not mine, duh! See first chapter._

_Author's Note: And... action! Yay, yay, yay! Finally something is happening! I'm so excited. Hope you all have a fantastic weekend (and of course that you like the chapter :-))._

_Beta: TheElementalMaster, thank you and I'm sorry about the "half-heartedly". What can I say? I blame my spellcheck!_

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**24. KIDNAPPING YOU**

The tall, slightly lanky man with the bluish black hair and the storm-grey eyes nervously shifted on his seat. He felt like a giant was slowly, and with explicit pleasure, squeezing the life out of him like you would do with a citron, only that this citron was still alive and didn't like to be squeezed or used for a salad dressing or to make your food a bit more delicious.

Sirius shook his head to get rid of that mental image and focused on the task before him: reading. Now he could read and he was sure the book wasn't half bad, either, but still his mind kept wandering to other things, namely his mate, whom he hadn't seen in the last three days. Well, he had seen him, but Harry was always fast asleep.

He thought that he would have been able to deal with the situation much better if he had something to do as well. He wasn't a sit-at-home-person; he didn't like to have nothing to do and after sixteen years in Azkaban, he had been enthusiastic to get out and work again. The only problem with that was that no one wanted to employ him, whether they believed him to be innocent or not.

Some certainly still clung to the belief that a dark and obviously evil family like the Blacks couldn't possibly have produced a light or at least decent heir, and even if he may be guiltless in the act of killing the Potters and all those Muggles, it didn't mean that he didn't commit other crimes. Others believed in his innocence but thought it was too risky to employ him because no one could possibly survive so many years in Azkaban with his sanity intact. The last group, finally, thought that he was a nice enough guy and would be able to do the jobs he applied for, even commented on how well qualified he was for them, but thought he should take a time-out to enjoy his time with Harry.

Only Harry wasn't there. Harry was off to training with Lucius or Remus or Snape or Dumbledore or McGonagall or the Aurors. He was always training, and they nearly pushed him to exhaustion. More than once, one of his teachers had levitated or carried Harry back to their rooms because the submissive was too tired to walk himself. Sirius considered himself lucky if Harry had enough strength left to send him a sleepy smile.

He understood that Harry had to prepare for Voldemort's next attack that was no doubt to come, and he saw the progress Harry made, but he could also feel how strained their bond had become. It was like a rope under constant pressure: First, it held strong, but with time it frayed, and then it would finally crack and tear. He knew that their rope was already starting to fray.

He angrily threw the innocent and unread book against the wall, cursing under his breath. He wanted his mate. He wanted a job as well, but most of all he wanted his mate. He would get a job eventually, it was only a matter of time, but he couldn't wait much longer for Harry. He wasn't willing to wait much longer.

It was also important that Harry and he strengthened their connection. Why couldn't they see? He had tried to explain it to Dumbledore, and Remus and even Snape had tried to help him, but the old man had merely twinkled at them, offered them lemon drops and told them that everything would turn out fine.

Remus sometimes let him stay during his lessons, but as Harry was supposed to get immune to the werewolf's presence, Sirius had been excluded more often than not. Snape never let him stay, claiming that they needed to concentrate and that Sirius would only disturb them. He had no idea what Lucius did with Harry during their lessons, and this fact alone was slowly but surely driving him insane. McGonagall always allowed him to assist her, but Harry only seldom had lessons with her since the Deputy Headmistress had many other duties to attend to. The Aurors sometimes let Sirius watch, but that was still not enough for him.

He sighed deeply. Maybe he could go and pay a visit to Remus? Harry was training with the Aurors right now, and as it was only two days after the full moon, Remus had been freed from teaching. It would be better than sitting there and doing nothing, he decided and got up with another heavy sigh. Remus was always cranky after the full moon, but he thought that they fit each other perfectly. At least someone else was feeling bad as well.

His steps echoed along the surprisingly empty hallways. Without really noticing, he gathered the shadows around him to hide from the few students he passed on his way. He was so lost in thought that he barely noticed his feet passing Remus' door or the cold wind that suddenly hit his face.

His strides lengthened as he felt the proximity to his mate. A low growl erupted from his throat and even before his head snapped up to find out where he had landed himself, two balls of ice had thrown the two Aurors, who had been attacking Harry, off balance and he was quickly carrying his mate away from the slightly dazed and paralysed men into the direction of the Forbidden Forest.

Harry didn't seem to be too averse to being kidnapped and after a short moment of shock, happily snuggled into the veela, smiling to himself. Sirius hadn't forgotten him.

The veela walked with Harry in his arms for more than ten minutes, carefully ducking under low hanging branches and pressing Harry close to his body, until he had finally calmed down enough to allow the rational part of his mind a little say in what he should do now.

He found an old beech tree with thick, strong roots that formed something like a natural booth and slid down on it, with his arms still safely wrapped around Harry's frail form. He pulled his own cloak around the petite elf, fearing that his mate could feel cold, and then reverently began to map Harry's face with his lips.

Harry purred happily as Sirius' lips ghosted over hisz face, caressing, brushing, nipping ever so slightly so as not to leave marks on the sensitive skin that bruised so easily as Sirius knew.

Harry's soft giggle broke Sirius out of his trance-like state, and he drew back slightly to be able to look into Harry's glittering eyes. "I missed you," he declared, not exactly sure why he wanted Harry to know it, needed him to know it.

"I missed you, too." Harry smiled at him. "But I must admit that kidnapping never crossed my mind."

"Well, it was more of a spur of the moment decision, you know?" Sirius returned defensively. "I just wanted to have you in my arms."

The smaller wizard grinned at him as if the whole thing had been his plan all along and he just left Sirius in the thought that he had come up with it himself, like you would offer the happiness of triumph to a small child who did not yet understand the careful machination which had lead to their success.

Sirius cocked his head slightly, studying Harry carefully. "You don't seem too surprised, though."

"Why would I?" Harry replied still with that secret little smile tugging his lips. "I may have been exhausted these last few weeks, but you're my mate and you'll always be my first priority. I knew that you weren't too happy about my constant absence."

The veela wasn't yet satisfied with Harry's response and made to further question him when something struck him. "You called me your mate. You never did that before. It was always 'my dominant' or just 'Sirius'."

Harry blushed faintly. "I'm sorry. I thought it was okay."

"It's more than okay!" Sirius exclaimed, caressing Harry's cheek lovingly. "You don't know how long I've been waiting for this."

"It isn't a big deal." Harry blinked. "Is it?"

"It means something to me, though it may not to you," Sirius explained. "You remember when I signed the documents that claimed you as my mate? I said then that it was like an engagement, but you always said that you weren't sure that I'm your mate as well." Sirius fleetingly brushed his lips over Harry. "That's why it's so important to me. It's like you finally accepted my proposal."

"But you never really asked me to marry you so how could I have said yes?" Harry asked uncertainly, and Sirius drew back in shock.

"You're right. Merlin, I've been an inconsiderate brat! I never left you a choice, did I?"

Harry shook his head. "We both know I wouldn't have had much of a choice, anyway."

"That still doesn't excuse what I did or rather didn't do," Sirius retorted fiercely, and Harry looked up at him, a tad bit scared. "I want to do everything right with you."

Harry just looked a him with wide green eyes that shone in the dim light of the forest, and Sirius noticed the last thing he wanted to see in them: fear. Harry should never fear him! A small wince shook Harry's form as Sirius moved his hands to close around Harry's waist, and the veela mentally berated himself.

"Never fear me, Harry," he beseeched him urgently.

"I don't," Harry said softly. "You do a lot of things right, Sirius. I feel good when you're with me. I just don't like it when you're angry because I can't really distinguish whom you're angry with. I always think it's my fault. I can't stop it."

"Harry, have I ever been angry with you?" Sirius looked at him, and Harry shrugged helplessly. "I haven't, Harry. You're much too cute and much too sweet and much too beautiful and much too perfect as that I could feel anything but all-consuming love and adoration for you. I love you."

Harry beamed, tilting his head slightly to ask for a kiss. Sirius only too willingly complied, cupping Harry's face as his tongue caressed the soft lips that timidly opened to grant him access. The small elf mewled with happiness, his slender arms slipping around Sirius' waist as he melted into the loving touch.

"Harry? I guess we should get back." Sirius sighed after a while, still caressing Harry's cheeks with his thumbs. "Before these Aurors tell the Minister that I'm obviously dangerous and need to be shipped off to Azkaban again."

Harry pouted a little, but gave a resigned sigh. "Yeah, I guess. I just thought we could spend some time together."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow, studying Harry's pale face. "You expected something like this to happen, didn't you?"

"I... yes." Harry nodded nervously. "I thought that if I wished hard enough for it, that if I concentrated on you, that you would come. Lucius said I should try out my elf charm, and you said I should only try it on you." He looked pleadingly at the taller wizard. "Are you angry?"

Sirius chuckled deeply. "Of course not, Harry. I'm somewhat flattered, you know, and relieved that you still want me. I think I would have done something sooner or later, but I was planning something more along the lines of a nice dinner together."

"Yeah, well." Harry blushed. "I never expected you to kidnap me. I just wanted to give you a bit more motivation to work out a plan."

Sirius laughed again, this time louder, before he tenderly kissed Harry on the lips. "Since we are already here, we might just as well take a little walk and enjoy our time together. They won't die from worrying a little."

"I can send them a message," Harry offered timidly, looking around for a suitable messenger.

He spotted a happily chirping bird on a tree nearby and held out his hand. The little bird flew down and landed on his hand, and Harry cupped it gently, brushing his fingertips over the blue feathers.

"I can send her to Remus," Harry stated, looking at Sirius. "Do you think that will calm him down?"

"Hmm, wait a minute." Sirius shuffled through his pockets until he found a piece of parchment and after it became clear that he would find nothing to write with, he quickly transformed into his Animagus form and padded over to a puddle of mud.

After he had got his left paw sufficiently dirty, he pressed it onto the parchment, leaving a muddy print on it. He then turned back and dried the paper with his wand before handing it to Harry.

"That will tell him that we're fine and that I'm with you," Sirius stated, watching in fascination as Harry persuaded the small bird to carry the makeshift letter to the castle. "Maybe he can delay the search parties for a while longer."

Harry smiled happily at that, holding out his hand so that Sirius would help him up and then allowed himself to be tugged under the older wizard's arm. He took a deep breath, releasing it slowly as they walked under the age-old trees but didn't venture too far into the heart of the forest. Harry relished the silence and the quietude Sirius made him feel. He was no longer made to think of possible strategies or forced to remember counter curses. He didn't have to think of the war or of what Voldemort would do to him if he ever got his hands on him. With Sirius, all of his worries were pushed into the background, and his beautiful mate was all he could think of.

It was a feeling he knew that he wouldn't like if he were to consider it with more depth and with an eye that wasn't clouded by love and his submissive nature. He didn't want to turn into one of those air-headed bimbos who clung to their boyfriends and were so obsessed with them that they forgot to live their own lives.

"What are you worrying about?" Sirius asked when he noticed the crease that appeared between Harry's eyebrows, reaching out to caress it away.

"I think I miss my old life," Harry murmured but leant into Sirius' hand. "I love you, I really do and I can't imagine living without you, but it would be great to not constantly be afraid and to make my own decisions again. I never was like this, Sirius. But I guess it was too much to ask that at least one aspect of my life stayed normal, that my character wasn't clipped and squeezed to fit into the parameters of a submissive elf! But I guess, I am what I am: A stupid submissive elf with an ex-convict as a mate, and all because Voldemort decided to measure his strength with a baby. Sometimes I just want to be normal."

"You always were extraordinary." Sirius gently leaned down to kiss him. "Voldemort had nothing, absolutely nothing to do with it. Did you know that when James and Lily brought you to an Order meeting for the first time, everyone wanted to hold you and coo at you. They were all so taken with you; they loved you, they never wanted to give you away again. Even Snape smiled. Can you imagine? He smiled at you. And it wasn't even one of his venomous little smirks because everyone acted like crazy; he smiled because you smiled at him. And I don't really have to tell you how obsessed I was and am with you, do I? I baby-sat you practically every day, and even when James and Lily didn't have anything planned, I came to visit just to spend time with you.

"Don't get me wrong, I certainly didn't think of you like I do now, but I loved you because you had the ability to lighten up a room, to take all our worries and make them seem irrelevant and small; because you were the cutest baby ever." He grinned. "You were our muse, Harry, whenever we had no strength left to fight, when we had lost someone, when we were despairing, you gave us new hope. And that was long before you survived Voldemort's Killing Curse.

"Believe me, you were a special baby and you've grown into an amazing young man. Voldemort's fall was only the event that made everyone else realise it as well. I can understand that you don't want to be afraid anymore, and I wish I could do more for you, but you have to take into consideration that this is also new for me. I'm doing my best, and it will get better, I swear, just give me a bit more time, give **us **a bit more time and give **yourself** a bit more time."

"It's just so frustrating." Harry pouted. "And that I hardly see you doesn't make it any better."

Sirius' arm slid lower and came to rest around his waist as he pulled Harry closer. "I'll talk with Dumbledore about it. It's all well and good that he wants to prepare you, but he shouldn't tire you out, and I can feel how strained our bond has become. Do you feel that, too?"

"I think so." Harry looked up at him. "I never felt the bond like you do so I don't know whether it's weakening or not."

He didn't mention the pain he had felt for a while now, nor the pain he had absorbed from Sirius. What good would it do to worry him even more? It wasn't anything he couldn't deal with, and if he told him, Sirius wouldn't allow him to take his pain anymore. Besides, the pain was something he almost cherished because it linked him with Sirius, because it was something Sirius felt and which therefore told him that Sirius was still there and waiting for him.

He smiled a little when he felt Sirius' concerned eyes land on him, tilting his face upward to captured a few more rays of sunlight. Sirius smiled as well, pulling Harry a little closer.

"You are beautiful," he murmured, awe-struck as Harry's eyes gleamed with happiness.

"I love the forest," Harry murmured, his fingertips lovingly brushing over the bark of a tree. "It's so full of life."

"Jamie loved it, too," Sirius returned with a sigh. "You're really so alike. He would have been so proud of you - and he would have killed me for thinking of you the way I am, but eventually he would have given me his blessings." He laughed softly. "He was very protective of you, you know? Like I am."

Harry smiled a bit sadly and pressed closer to the taller wizard. "Tell me more about them, please?"

"They loved you very, very much," Sirius said softly, placing a kiss in Harry's hair. "James didn't stop smiling for over a week after you were born. He didn't sleep, either." He chuckled again. "He time and time again went to check up on you. I think he was almost happy when you cried out for him so that he had a reason to coddle you. Lily had to nearly threaten him so that she could feed you. He was really madly in love with you, and he was a great father. I never would have believed it.

"He even grew up and took responsibility: He set up a trust fund for you, paid for your schooling in Hogwarts, charmed all the edges and sharp objects in the house so that there was no chance of you getting hurt. He dragged us all to a baby-sitting class and he insisted that we all passed with honours before he even considered leaving you in our care.

"I think it was Lily's idea to be honest. She sang to you every evening, and you wouldn't fall asleep until she had kissed you goodnight. She had a beautiful voice, you know, and she was beautiful. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You're like her in that aspect." He grinned impishly at the blush that spread over Harry's pale cheeks and leaned down to kiss him.

Harry's hands timidly reached up, framing his face and brushing over the few wrinkles Azkaban had left around his mouth and his eyes as if trying to smooth them again. He almost seemed angry before his expression softened again and turned into one of love and the utmost devotion. Sirius' breath caught in his throat, and his heart started beating furiously as he pulled Harry against his chest. How could he deserve someone like this? He had never done anything exceedingly altruistic and had hardly done anything to improve his karma. He had been an outright bully in school and he still thought that Snape wasn't faultless, either. He had used his charm to his advantage. He had rarely helped others unless Remus ordered him to. He had deliberately tried to annoy his parents and had always defied authority. And now he should be graced with this little angel? He didn't deserve Harry, but, by Merlin, he would do anything to become the best person he could possibly be. No one would take his Harry away from him!

"Why are you thinking such dark thoughts?" Harry asked with gentle reproach. "You'll give both of us a headache."

"Sorry," Sirius murmured sheepishly, and Harry laughed.

"You make me very happy, Sirius."

The veela's face brightened at that, and he carefully ran his fingers through Harry's silky black hair, humming softly, before he asked as casually as possible, "What's with you and that Sébastien guy, anyway?"

"What about him?" Harry returned. "He sometimes assists Lucius, and Ron and Hermione like him."

"Well, do you like him?" Sirius questioned, and Harry looked a bit confused.

"Of course I like him. He's really nice and always friendly and he's always willing to help me or anyone else." He sighed. "It's so unfair that he lost his mate. The way he still talks about Aaron, I don't doubt that Sébastien was the perfect dominant."

Sirius growled warningly. "Not for you, he's not and he better not be endangering you, too. It's bad enough he killed his own mate, he has no business with mine."

"Sirius Orion Black! I can't believe you just said that." Harry jerked back, glaring fiercely at him. "He lost his mate because Aaron was sick and I think he can expect at least a little sympathy! No, don't touch me!

"I'm so angry at you right now. I can deal with your jealousy, but this was outright heartless." His hands trembled in anger. "Sébastien has been nothing but nice and obliging, and I'm very grateful to him for staying here and supporting me even though he has absolutely nothing to gain from it.

"He knows that you are my mate and he respects that. He, for one, knows how important you're to me, how much I love you. He understands me, better than you or anyone else, and that has nothing to do with my feelings for him. It's because he knows how it is if everything is taken out of your hands and you can do nothing but wait and hope that somehow everything will turn out for the best because you can do absolutely nothing. He understands how it feels to love someone so hard that it hurts, even if that someone is a complete **jerk**. He just understands **me**.

"He has himself better under control than Lucius or even Remus because he always carries that pain with him. When I'm with him, I feel like I'm in control, like I really have a choice and I feel safe. Can you even image how much that means to me?

"You were hardly around and I know it is not your fault, but when you aren't there I'm always close to hyperventilating and it hurts. You don't want me to have someone to soothe me? Fine, forbid it, but if I ever hear you say something so callous and cruel again, we're through. I don't care if I need you, I won't be together with a heartless idiot."

"Harry..."

"I think we should get back to the castle." Harry turned around, skilfully avoiding Sirius' embrace and started walking.

"Harry..." Sirius tried again, looking extremely guilty. "Look, I'm sorry."

"I'm sure they're already worried," Harry stated, fastening his pace.

Sirius felt how Harry's indifferent tone chipped away neat pieces of his heart with every word. He hadn't meant for it to sound like that, damnit! That siren wasn't all that bad, if he would only stay away from his Harry! He did feel sorry for Sébastien for losing his mate, but that didn't mean that he would share his mate with him, no matter how perfect Harry thought him to be. Harry was his, whether he liked it or not - though he really wanted him to like it. Why couldn't he just take it as a compliment, anyway? He half-heartedly glared at the small elf and was very tempted to just order Harry to stop, listen to him and forgive him, but knew that that would be horribly unfair to his beautiful mate.

He might not be able to understand Harry's anger and he might see it as unjustified and unreasonable, but Harry had as much right to be angry as anyone else. He sighed deeply. He hadn't wanted for their sparse time together to end with a fight!

Harry smelled so delicious and looked so sweet and moved so gracefully. His voice had been so reassuring, so melodious and soft, caressing his frayed nerves and soothing his anger at being separated for so long. And the way his fingers had skimmed over his heated skin, how his lips had quivered under his before admitting him entrance, how perfectly Harry's body fit against his, how it would feel to take him wholly --

He shook his head, admonishing himself. He really should think of a way to earn Harry's forgiveness and not indulge in horny fantasies, which did nothing to supply his brain with enough blood to give him with a genius idea.

"Harry..." he tried again, but trailed off uncertainly when he saw Harry's body tense.

The green-eyed Gryffindor took a step back towards Sirius and half turned around as a cool voice stopped him. "Harry dear, do come here."

Sirius frantically looked around for the owner of the voice, momentarily forgetting that he had his wand again and thus drawing it too late. Someone pressed their wand against the hollow of his throat as a tall blond stepped out from behind a tree. The blond wizard had cold silver eyes and a slightly pointed chin. But Sirius didn't need to look at him to know that this was Draco Malfoy, Lucius' son and Harry's tormentor. Harry had gone utterly pale, his eyes widening and his pupils dilating in fear as he began to shake.

"Come on, little slut, didn't you hear me?" A malicious smile was playing about the blond's thin lips. "I hate to repeat myself, you know that. Come here."

"No, Harry, don't!" Sirius shouted, struggling against the magical bindings and the Leg-Locker Curse that had been put on him and kept him rooted to the spot. "Flee, Harry, run, escape. Don't listen to him!"

Harry's green eyes locked onto his, and he could see them water in pain as the submissive tried to move and obey his command. His mouth opened in a silent plea, and Sirius strengthened his efforts to overcome the curses. Harry whimpered as Malfoy repeated his order in a deathly whisper, and Sirius could only watch in horror as Harry fainted, crumpling to the ground.

Malfoy's smirk widened as he approached the fallen sub and unceremoniously picked him up, addressing Sirius. "Hello, Black. I had heard word that you replaced me as Harry's dominant, but this is really too touching. How foolish of you to get attached to someone like this, though I admit he's rather pleasing to the eye, isn't he? And so very talented with his mouth... Too bad for you that you'll never be able to bury yourself in that tight little ass." He brutally pinched Harry's arse cheek for emphasise, laughing loudly as Sirius growled at him. "On the other hand, I'm sure the Dark Lord wouldn't mind giving **me** my reward in that currency."

"Don't you dare touch my mate," Sirius threatened, quite uselessly as he realised himself; Malfoy only smirked and then demonstratively slipped one pale, long-fingered hand down the back of Harry's jeans.

Sirius hissed, straining against the magic holding him as colourful insults and threats spewed from his mouth, many of them courtesy to his mother.

Malfoy allowed this for a moment, basking in Sirius' helplessness and his position of power, before he turned to glare at the four other Death Eaters that were surrounding Sirius, their wands trained on the Animagus. "Stun him and take him with you. We can't risk him warning the old coot and his stupid little order."

The dark-haired veela saw a wand pointing at him out of the corner of his eye, he renewed his struggles, his eyes burning into the vile creature, which dared to touch his mate and look at him with those lustful and eager glances. He would make him pay, tear him to shreds, peel that smirk from his handsome face together with his lips, wrench his intestines from his still breathing body and let him watch as he - A beam of red light blinded him for a second and then he knew no more.

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_Yes, yes, you want to strangle me for that evil cliffy. I can completely empathise with that sentiment, but you should still review because if you make me feel sufficiently guilty, I might be compelled to update again soon... You could try at least ;-)_


	25. Flight Forward

_Disclaimer: Not mine, never was, never will be. See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: I'm becoming paranoid..._

_**Warnings for this chapter: Lemon (I marked the beginning and the end so you can skip it if you want to), torture, character death and evil plans.**  
_

_Beta: Blaithin-mae, thank you!_

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**25. FLIGHT FORWARD**

Harry whimpered, shifting a little. He was not yet conscious, but not fully unconscious either. It was as if someone was holding consciousness just out of reach, dangling it mockingly in front of his outstretched fingers, snatching it back whenever he made a grab for it.

His wrists ached and whenever he moved a stinging pain shot around them, into his fingertips and to his elbows. There was a dull pain inside of him that throbbed almost reassuringly with every heartbeat as if telling him that all was not so bad.

He felt as if someone was watching him, a dark dangerous presence looming over him and he fought to open his eyes, wincing as the light of a wand blinded him momentarily.

"Oh, look, who's finally awake, Black." Draco grinned malevolently. "Took him long enough. Stand up, slave!"

Harry's eyes snapped up to meet that of his master - no! This was not his master, it was only Draco. Draco had no control over him. He had no right for any control over him!

Nonetheless, he was forced to stand up on shaking legs, which was not made any easier by the fact that his hands were bound behind his back with a tight magical rope that sent a sharp sting up his hands when he tugged experimentally on it. He looked defiantly at the blond veela, all his instincts screaming at him to cover in fear and to submit mindlessly. But he wouldn't give Draco the satisfaction.

"Still haven't learned have you, whore?" Draco mocked him, firmly grasping his chin as he stepped closer. "Still not broken. Has my father pampered you up again? Has he told you that you're worth something? That you're good for something more than your master's pleasure? Oh, and you believed it! How gullible you are." He took a deep breath and then leaned closer to Harry's neck, as if drawn by an invisible force. "But oh-so-sweet." The blond veela pressed a soft kiss to the milky skin; Harry whimpered. "Shush, Harry, what is the matter? Don't you feel good?"

"No," Harry whispered, struggling weakly against the veela. "Please, I'd feel much better if you got us out of here. Please, Draco, don't you want me to be happy?"

"Of course," Draco answered immediately, as his lips continued to caress Harry's neck. "You're so sweet."

"Please, Draco, I want out of here," Harry whispered urgently, mindful of the other Death Eaters, who were still holding Sirius, and Sirius himself because he knew that he mustn't push too far or his mate would fly into a jealous rage; he was already impressed with how much self-control Sirius was showing, though he could feel tendrils of shadows wrapping around his body like creepers. "I'm scared."

"I'll protect you, don't you know?" Draco murmured, and his voice sounded a little hurt. "Don't you trust me, Harry? Don't you love me?"

"I..." Draco didn't seem to expect more than that as an answer, smiling happily at Harry. "See, you're safe, my little submissive."

Draco's hands stroked soothingly over Harry's sides as the blond veela crooned in his ear, holding Harry to his body, who was hard pressed to feel uncomfortable. This gentle Draco, he was Harry's, no one else could bring out this side of the blond, crack his masks so completely. But he wouldn't stay, Harry knew, and the cold and cruel Death Eater would be there to replace him.

Sirius' loud, enraged shout and one of the Death Eaters clearing his throat broke the spell, and the young Death Eater regained his composure in the matter of seconds, his hands becoming once again harsh and hurtful and his touch more humiliating than soothing. "Such a good little slut. My Lord can hardly wait to see you, he will so enjoy you, won't he, Black? I'm sure you enjoyed his little sweet body - "

"Don't you dare touch him, Malfoy," Sirius spat, and Harry relaxed a little as the shadows around him grew stronger and thicker to protect and shield him from Draco.

The blond snickered, pressing a hard kiss to Harry's unresponsive lips and grabbed his arse, which emitted a pained and startled squeak from the small elf.

"Oh, I will do much more than touch him, Black," the young Death Eater taunted. "But for now, I'll content myself with his mouth. On your knees, slave!"

Sirius could only watch in horror as Harry dropped to his knees. But before anything more could happen, Draco grabbed his arm and hissed in pain, a mildly annoyed look crossing his handsome features. The two Death Eaters mimicked his actions, and Sirius took the chance to break free from their hold and scramble over to Harry, pulling the shivering boy into his strong arms.

"Doesn't matter." Draco sneered. "I'll have enough time to enjoy your little toy, Black. Enjoy your last minutes with him while I tell the Dark Lord of the good news. Let's go," he prompted the other Death Eaters and, sending Harry one last half-leering, half-pensive glance, he strode away.

The last Death Eater locked the door and they were alone. Sirius gently petted Harry's hair and brushed away the tears that rolled down the pale cheeks and generally did everything he could think of to calm Harry down. He also tried to free Harry's hands, but he was powerless against the strong, magical bonds and whenever he touched them, Harry winced as if an electrical jolt had run through his delicate body.

Sirius remembered the evil look in the younger Malfoy's eyes as he had spoken the spell, and he was sure that the Death Eater had mostly done so to hurt and humiliate Harry a bit more because there was no possibility of them escaping.

His Animagus senses told him that there were two Death Eaters, the same ones that had held him earlier, standing guard not far from their prison door. The cell they were in was small, but more or less clean except for the cobwebs that decorated the corners. There was some dirty, old straw in one corner, but other than that the cold stone floor was barren and Harry pressed closer to the warmth Sirius provided. The veela forcefully suppressed any memory of Azkaban. Harry needed him and Harry needed him in reality and not caught in the past.

"Sirius..." he whispered and it sounded like a prayer, sniffing softly and trying to stop his tears.

"Shh, my love," he carefully kissed Harry's slightly bruised lips, hating the slight taste of Malfoy he thought to perceive on them. "I'll protect you. We'll find a way out of this. I promise."

He felt bad for lying because he knew that the chances of them escaping without outside help were slim to non-existent. And no one knew they were here, Remus most likely had calmed down everyone and convinced them to give them a bit more time. He closed his eyes briefly, feebly trying to find the silver lining.

"Voldemort is here," Harry whispered as if reading his thoughts; Sirius knew that it had been stupid to try to lie to his mate and that it had been about as effective as lying to himself. "I'm scared, Siri. Draco... He wasn't lying. They..."

"Hush." Sirius gathered the crying boy closer. "I know. I'll do anything so that doesn't happen."

"Anything?" Harry questioned, looking up at him through his long black lashes.

"Yes, anything, Harry," Sirius assured him. "I love you."

Harry bit his bottom lip, but then looked up with determination shining in his eyes. "Take me. Take me now. Then they won't be able to bond me to them."

"Harry, you don't really want that. You aren't ready," Sirius argued gently. "I would know if you were."

"But I have to be ready!" Harry exclaimed. "Don't you understand? Voldemort will rape me, and then I'll be bound to him and I'll have to protect that monster, whether I'm ready or not! You said that you're my mate, and I love you. Why don't you want me?"

"You know that this is not it, Harry. Of course I want you, but not like this, never like this. You deserve much more than that. I want you to be sure. It shouldn't be the last escape," Sirius kissed him again. "We'll find another way."

"What other way?" Harry demanded and then sobbed because Sirius had no answer, either.

"Beautiful..." Sirius sighed, kissing Harry once more to buy himself more time. "Can you think of anything you have learned during your training that could help us here? You almost had Malfoy and if I hadn't interrupted..."

But Harry shook his head. "I always had to keep in body contact to manipulate Draco and I don't think I can manipulate more than one person at a time. I never learned that."

Sirius knew why Harry hadn't got any practise in that area. Because Sirius had forbidden it and had been too jealous and because of that they were now being held as prisoners and Harry was in danger of being raped.

"It's not your fault," Harry whispered, pressing a soft kiss to Sirius' cheek. "I shouldn't have been so selfish today. I knew it was only a matter of time until Voldemort would try something and it was foolish to manipulate you."

"No, Harry! You couldn't have known this would happen and I still knew what I was doing. I knew better and still I left the safety of the Hogwarts Grounds," Sirius protested and when Harry made to argue some more he silenced him with a kiss. "Anyway, this is not important right now. Do you have any other powers? I could probably take out several Death Eaters with my ice balls and hide us in shadows."

"I..." Harry furrowed his brow, but then shook his head despondently. "The door is locked with magic otherwise I could have found a small animal to get the key for us, but even that would have taken too long. I could try to manipulate one of the guards but the other would raise the alarm. And healing won't help, either."

"It's okay, tiny," Sirius murmured, tilting Harry's head up. "We'll find a way."

Harry bit his lip, but couldn't stop his tears. "I'm scared. There's no way and you know it as well. I don't understand. Why won't you bond with me? You always said you couldn't wait to and now... Do you want me to be bound to Voldemort?"

"Of course not, love." Sirius sighed. "I understand your reasoning and I understand your fear, but..."

"You don't want to," Harry whispered, curling into himself. "I understand you as well."

Sirius sighed deeply, rubbing Harry's back soothingly as he tried to fully grasp Harry's request. "Harry, look at me. Is this really what you want?"

"Yes," Harry said earnestly, returning his searching look.

"It won't be anywhere near romantic," Sirius told him. "I won't be able to prepare you as well as would be necessary to assure that it'll be completely painless for you. And once I have claimed you there is no backing out anymore, you would be bound to me for eternity. Voldemort might still rape you, I can't promise you that I'll be able to protect you, though I will do my best."

"I know." Harry nodded, doing his best to not lose his nerves.

"This will be far from perfect," Sirius insisted, and Harry nodded again. "Are you sure, Harry? I'll always love you, regardless of how you decide and what happens afterwards."

"Yes, I'm sure," Harry whispered. "I know that it won't be perfect and that it's not... it's not what I wanted it to be, but at least it'll happen with the person I chose and love. I trust you, Sirius, you won't hurt me or humiliate me if you can help it. I love you and that's what counts, right?"

"I love you, too, Harry," Sirius murmured tenderly, once again searching the green eyes for any signs of hesitation. "But - "

Harry put his lips over Sirius', silencing him effectively and only drew back when Sirius' doubts had all been kissed away.

"Alright, so we bond," Sirius declared finally with an air of purpose. "Can you grow your wings? I want you to feel as safe as possible."

Harry nodded, carefully pushing his wings through his skin and robes and making sure that they didn't get caught in his bound hands. He then loosely folded them around him as he watched Sirius pushing down his trousers. Harry gulped, suddenly he wasn't all that sure anymore. How should all of that possibly fit into him? Wouldn't it hurt even more if Voldemort raped him and made him betray Sirius? What if it didn't work because Sirius didn't really want to claim him? What if he destroyed Sirius' life with this?

The tall veela noticed the frightened expression on Harry's face and gently took him in his arms again, wiping away the tears that fell from the large emerald green eyes. "I want to bond to you, Harry. I have wanted to bond with you since the moment I laid eyes on you. Do you know how hard it is to keep in control, to not ravish you when you peacefully sleep next to me? This may not be the right time, but it's definitely what I want. Anything that means that you'll always be mine is very tempting to me. You're very tempting, beautiful. If you want to back out that's okay, but don't back out because of me because I love you and always will. Never forget that."

"Okay." Harry nodded resolutely, taking a deep breath of Sirius' unique scent that had always managed to calm him down before.

"Okay," Sirius repeated, lovingly kissing Harry's lips, and then toed of his shoes, stepping out of his trousers, before finally taking off his socks.

Harry blinked at him, sitting up as well as he could and cocked his head. "Why'd you take off your socks?"

"Because I will not make love to you with my socks on, making it seem like this is a short fuck in between classes and that we'll never speak to each other afterwards again," Sirius declared.

"But..."

"I know we don't have any time to lose and that most likely I won't be able to hold you afterwards until you drift off to sleep," Sirius admitted. "But that doesn't mean that I don't want to."

Harry's face split into a radiant smile, and then he also toed of his shoes, trying to wriggle off his socks. Sirius returned his smile and then quickly helped Harry with his socks and finally also with his trousers and boxers, containing Harry's light tremble with his hands.

"Still sure?"

"Kiss me?" Harry asked, and Sirius immediately leaned down to capture the younger man's lips between his, gently sucking on his bottom lip before darting his tongue out to caress over the velvety softness, asking for entrance and then skipping inside to tip playfully against Harry's tongue, leisurely twirling around it and welcoming every tentative response.

It wasn't a kiss adequate to their less than favourable situation or even an introduction to what was about to happen. It was much too sweet, much too careful, much too shy and much too loving, but neither of them would have wanted it any other way. This was their bonding, this kiss, not the act that would be following it.

When Sirius drew back slightly, and Harry nodded. "I'm sure."

* * *

**BEGINNING OF LEMON**

* * *

Harry's legs fell open in silent invitation, and Sirius took a brief moment to admire the lithe beauty before him. Harry blushed despite the situation and shifted anxiously, coming in contact with Sirius' hardening manhood. He gave a startled gasp and Sirius chuckled softly, kissing his nose.

"I'll be as gentle as possible," he promised and Harry gave another jerky nod.

"What should I do?"

"Try to relax and trust me," Sirius murmured. "I'll do the rest."

Harry leaned his head against the older man's chest as Sirius put two fingers into his mouth to wet them with his saliva and then trailed them down in between Harry's arse cheeks, pushing lightly against the tight ring of muscles he found there. He felt Harry stiffening in his arms, but continued when Harry didn't protest, littering kisses over his pale face as he slipped one finger into Harry's tight opening and began to move it around, carefully stretching him. When he thought that he had done all that he could do, he added his second finger, stilling immediately as Harry whimpered.

"Shh, beautiful, I'm sorry you're in pain. It'll pass, I promise, it'll get better," he soothed him, placing a warm kiss on his lips before he started to scissor his fingers. "Tell me if you want to stop, and I promise I will. Am I hurting you?"

"Feels strange," Harry murmured. "Uncomfortable. Am I supposed to like this?"

"Not under these circumstances," Sirius replied and then crooked his fingers, brushing over Harry's prostate and making the small elf jerk and moan. "Though, you're supposed to like this." He chuckled.

"That..." Sirius drew another blissful moan from his mate. "Merlin!"

Harry blushed when he felt himself beginning to enjoy the strange sensations of Sirius' fingers massaging him from the inside and seemingly pushing a magic button that was directly connected to his own erection. He wrapped his wings loosely around Sirius, but couldn't quite stop them from fluttering nervously every once in a while, and even responded to Sirius' kisses albeit a bit distractedly. But when Sirius slipped a third finger into him, easing the way for his erection, he became acutely aware of what was about to happen and that spoilt all the pleasure for him, also because having three digits stuck in his rectum was highly uncomfortable not to say painful. Not even Sirius' kisses or that magic button managed to comfort him, and he buried his face against Sirius' shoulder, trying to ignore everything that was happening. This wasn't happening.

Sirius, realising that Harry was no longer gaining any pleasure from his ministrations, withdrew his fingers and then spit into his hand to slick his erection.

"Okay, Harry?" Sirius carefully brushed one of Harry's inky black strands of hair out of his face and then slowly lowered him to the floor, keeping one arm behind Harry's back so that he wouldn't lie on his bound hands.

"Yes," Harry said with more confidence than he felt. "I'll be fine."

Sirius lovingly brushed his lips over Harry's milky inner thighs before he positioned himself and slowly entered his small mate, wincing mentally when he saw Harry's eyes water in pain and what he thought was humiliation.

He groaned, in pleasure and self-loathing, almost drawing back until Harry's legs tightened around his waist. "Just do it, Siri, please?" Harry asked. "You can make it up to me later." The elf's smile was slightly strained but honest. "I know you will."

Sirius closed his eyes briefly, forcing himself to ignore Harry's discomfort for now and just enjoy the sensation of being joined with his mate because Harry was right: He couldn't risk to be overwhelmed by compassion for his mate now or everything would be for nothing. He needed to find his release, claim Harry with his semen. He had already defiled his little beauty, his beautiful angel, the least he could do now was to do it right, so that Harry couldn't be bound to Voldemort or one of his Death Eaters. Surely, if Harry could be so calm and strong, so could he.

The veela carefully began to move, pushing into the all too pliant body beneath him and kissing away the salty drops that ran over the thin face, caressing over Harry's back and the sharp hipbones as he thrust into him time and time again. He also reached out for Harry's limp cock, intending to give Harry at least a little pleasure, but the small elf only shook his head weakly turned away as best as he could. Sirius understood and he respected that Harry didn't want to soil this experience even more and wanted to reserve at least this small part of him for when they could really make love. If Harry ever allowed him to touch him again after this experience.

But he couldn't think about that now. Harry was so incredibly tight, smooth and warm, his slender thighs resting snugly around Sirius' waist, and it was impossible to keep a clear mind as much as he tried to. He had waited for so long and all his veela senses were triumphing and cheering whenever he buried himself deep inside his mate. No one would be able to take him away again; Harry was his and soon everyone would see that. Merlin help those who dared to challenge that or hurt his mate.

Harry had closed his eyes, trying to blind out everything around him. He supposed it wasn't that bad and the pain was more or less bearable, but he just didn't want his first time to be like this. Sirius movements were steady, gentle, controlled and it felt good to be so close to him and to hear that he was loved, though it was slightly hard to believe it right now.

It was uncomfortable, and he wasn't relaxed. How could he possibly relax in a situation like this? He could still sense not only Sirius, though he was practically surrounded by his aura, but also Draco, Voldemort and the two Death Eaters standing guard in front of their door. The pain of their strained bond had only partially subsided and instead the pain of Sirius' pushing into him had been added to it.

He felt a strange mixture of numbness and light-headedness. Slashes of black sporadically obscured his vision because of which he had chosen to close his eyes. He had always pictured this moment to be the pinnacle of perfection. Romantic and slow and sensual. He had dreamed about how Sirius would prepare a nice surprise for them, roses maybe, though that seemed kind of cliché, but something like that. Maybe they would have had dinner together or they would have taken a walk and then made love under the moonlight. Sirius would have kissed every part of his body and he would have made him forget his nervousness. He would have been so very gentle and patient enough to make him plead for more. Sirius would have murmured sweet little nothings into his ear and made him enjoy every second of it. He had never really thought about the actual act, but he had always been sure that Sirius would hold him afterwards and that he would fall asleep and wake in his embrace. Of course it was utterly sappy, but it was his first time and he was entitled to wish for it to be perfect.

Instead he felt strangely empty as if something was dying inside of him, or at least as if something was being shut away so that he was no longer able to access it. He guessed that it was the bond, but that too he had imagined to feel different. He thought that it would be like one of Sirius' smiles: loving and gentle and safe. Harry had imagined the bond to feel like one of those smiles was permanently wrapped around him, that it would close around him but in a protective manner that would make him feel loved and not constricting like the magical rope around his wrists. There was no warmth and he feebly tried to tell himself that the reason for that was the cold floor he lay on.

"They are coming back," Harry wailed, his voice cracking and shaking.

"I'm sorry." Sirius kissed his temple and accelerated his thrusts, inadvertently causing Harry more pain. "I'm so sorry."

The word "sorry" had never fallen in any of Harry's fantasies.

Sirius carefully let Harry down so that he could take a hold of his hips and quicken his pace. He felt bad and like the worst person alive when he relentlessly pushed into the frail body beneath him, bringing not pleasure but pain. Harry deserved better than this, so much better. Nonetheless, he could feel his orgasm building up inside of him as his breathing got erratic and his movements irregular. So much better.

Harry's bound hands painfully rubbed over the rough stone and Sirius was sure that they would chafe.

Three more thrusts - Sirius' wings split from his back and shadows swirled around him and Harry, intermingled with icy flames, and Sirius' magic manifested in colourful lines that ran over Harry's body in intricate patterns, snaking up his legs, wrapping around his torso and disappearing down his arms - and Sirius tumbled over the edge of his orgasm, ending this surreal and conflicting experience.

* * *

**END OF LEMON**

* * *

He murmured another apology as he carefully pulled out and redressed Harry, noting the small trail of blood running down Harry's pale legs. Guilt overwhelmed him and he barely had enough control to pull up his own trousers and put on his socks and shoes before tears began to escape his eyes and sobs shook his body.

He had never wanted it like that, he had never wanted to cause Harry any pain. His veela mate rejoiced and he could feel along their bond for Harry. What he felt worried him. It was a jumble of pain, distress, shame, love, relief, fear, panic and the overpowering need to please. It didn't feel right.

"Harry?" he questioned softly, tilting up the pale face. "Love? Are you at least somewhat okay?"

"Yes." Harry nodded, and there was no hesitation in his voice or in his eyes as he looked up at Sirius.

Nonetheless, this answer did little to reassure the veela, and he once again gathered Harry to his chest. Heavy, purposeful steps brought him out of his reverie soon after, and he firmly yet gently shook Harry's shoulder to get his attention.

"I want you to defend yourself, is that clear, Harry?" he ordered. "I want you to do what you feel is best and you don't have to listen to their orders. Don't put yourself in danger, but don't let them hurt you, either. And I want you to know that I love you. Okay?"

"Okay," Harry replied, and once again Sirius had the feeling that Harry only told him what he wanted to hear, too shocked to form a clear thought; he hoped it was only shock.

While he studied the small elf, said elf shifted closer and kissed away his tears, smiling slightly. "I won't allow them to touch me or hurt you. I'm yours."

Before Sirius could find a reply to this declaration, the door was pushed open again and a smirking blond entered the cell, looking down at them scornfully. "What a touching picture." He sneered. "It's such a shame that I have to break this up, but I'm sure at least one of you won't be alone for long. Stand up, little boy toy."

Sirius' hands squeezed Harry's waist for a second and then lifted him up to help him stand, which Harry did obediently and with unusual calm. Draco's sneer deepened as he grabbed Harry's shoulder painfully and pushed him out of the cell in front of him as his companions dragged Sirius to his feet.

The way they were led was just as cold and dark as their cell had been, only illuminated by guttering torches, and their steps echoed along the stone walls as they were made to climb the stairs. Harry stumbled as Draco pushed him again and fell to the floor, his knees scraping on the steps and the side of his face hitting the hard stone since he had no means to break his fall with his hands still bound behind his back. Draco laughed and Sirius shouted in outrage, growling deeply as Harry slowly got up again. The blond Death Eater got impatient and jerked Harry up.

Finally, they reached the throne room, dark and ominous, with Voldemort sitting on his throne, his spidery fingers tapping impatiently on the armrest and his blood-red eyes fixed on the double doors through which they entered. His shallow face contorted into a malicious grin as he caught sight of his two newest prisoners. How long had he waited to get his hands on Harry bloody Potter, the damned Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Die, the bane of his existence, the only submissive elf in close to a century?

His grin widened. It was a stroke of luck if he ever heard of one. Who would have thought that Potter would be so easy to defeat? His considerable power served to him almost on a silver platter.

He admitted to himself that he liked the thought of Potter as his catamite much better than as another dead body. He had fantasised about it, Potter bearing his Dark Mark, serving him, kneeling in front of him, kissing his robes. It filled him with a kind of vicious glee to think about all the things he would make him do to destroy him bit by bit.

First, he would only use him as a sex slave and once that became boring he would give him as a reward to his most faithful Death Eaters. Maybe the young Malfoy would do well in training his newest follower. The notion of the handsome blond tearing into the smaller elf was quite enjoyable as well. Yes, he would relish in watching as Potter was broken.

But that was not all he had planned for his newest acquisition. Why would he only use him for sex after all? No, he planned to use him completely. How sweet it would be to watch him kill his friends, torture them. He would have him start with that Black over there.

His eyes narrowed as he watched the black-haired Animagus struggle and then let them wander over to Malfoy and his prize.

"Bring him forward, Draco," he ordered coldly, his eyes still focused on his green-eyed nemesis, trying to find any changes in him.

He hadn't grown noticeably since the last time he had seen him and looked small and delicate in the spacious, dark room. His head lowered slightly so it was hard to make out his face as it was partly obscured by his thick black hair, through which small, pointed ears peaked out. Still, he spotted the split lip and bruised cheek with amusement.

"Harry Potter," he greeted, his voice a sibilant hiss as he grasped Harry's chin and tilted it upward. "And so we meet again. I assume Draco informed you of my plans, hasn't he?"

"Yes, my Lord." Draco inclined his head, knowing that the question had been for him to answer.

"You will be rewarded accordingly." Voldemort's cold, bloodless fingers stroked along Harry's cheek, his sharp fingernails leaving bloody trails on the pale, milky skin. "Unless you turn into your father and also fall in love with this pathetic creature?"

"No, my Lord, of...", Draco protested immediately like it was expected of him, but Harry interrupted him in a quiet voice, "Lucius doesn't love me, but since you never felt love you wouldn't know how to tell the difference."

A slap knocked Harry's face to the side. "Shut up, shut up! I'll teach you to make fun of me."

"Leave Harry alone, don't touch him!" Sirius shouted in agitation, but that only resulted in Voldemort silencing him with a spell.

Sirius had to watch helplessly as the Dark Lord spoke the Cruciatus curse on his small mate, who bit his lip and writhed in pain, but didn't cry out and finally slumped in the blond veela's arms as the curse was lifted.

Voldemort rose from his throne, twirling his wand between his fingers as if thinking about how he could inflict the most possible pain on the supposed saviour of the Wizarding world, but then just contemptuously kicked Harry in the stomach. Harry curled up, coughing violently and tried to shield his small form from the following blows. Finally, Voldemort regained his composure and, becoming aware of his Death Eaters watching him, he drew himself up to his impressive height.

"Unbind his hands," he ordered Draco, who obeyed immediately. "And undress him, we have been delayed long enough."

Draco hesitated briefly, but then vanished Harry's clothes, his hands clenching into fists, and he shifted slightly as if he wanted to step protectively in front of Harry. Sirius certainly wished he would, though he found the caring Draco, who fell to Harry's indubitable charm, no less disturbing.

When Harry was completely naked and lay shivering to Voldemort's feet, the snake-like man spread out his arms. "Take off my robes!"

At once, a corpulent-looking Death Eaters scrambled out of the shadows and helped his master out of his robes, neatly folding them over his arms. A skeletal, sickly-white body was revealed, the ribs seeming strangely out of place as if they had been just randomly been put into his body. Sirius felt sick.

"Bring Black closer." Voldemort motioned to him. "It would be a pity if he was to miss the bonding of his loved one, wouldn't it?"

Some Death Eaters laughed, snickered or just nodded in agreement. Sirius would have loved nothing more than to wipe away the self-satisfied smirk that had once again returned to Malfoy's face by stealing Harry from right under their noses.

Harry was pulled up. "Look at me, Potter, I want to see the pain in your eyes when I thrust into your tight virgin hole."

Green eyes locked onto red ones and for a moment time seemed to freeze; Voldemort gulped quite visibly.

"Don't touch him, don't you dare touch him." Sirius' magic had somehow overcome the Silencing Spell, or perhaps Voldemort's concentration had flickered.

"Shut him up and if he doesn't stay quiet kill him," Voldemort ordered, and at last, Harry came to life again.

"You will not hurt Sirius."

His voice was soft, but carried through the hall and reached all of the Death Eaters that still stood in a wide circle around him. He hadn't sounded pleading or scared, but thoroughly convinced of the truth of his words. It wasn't a demand or a request, it was a simple statement.

"Is that so?" for a split, second Voldemort's retort was more surprised than taunting. "We'll see about that..."

His wand swivelled around to point at the Animagus' chest, but before he could intone a painful spell, Harry had stepped forward and taken his wand out of his hand. "No."

Now, the Dark Lord was really confused, but he hadn't worked on his paranoia and his Dark Magic for more than a decade for nothing and so he snatched his wand back, backhanding Harry so hard he lost his balance.

"You said that he would have to obey me, Draco," he snarled at the blond, "I don't appreciate being lied to."

"But no, my Lord," Draco replied defensively. "He has to do what you say. Come here, Potter!"

Harry obediently turned around and took the two steps in his direction until he stood in front of him with his head lowered. A malicious grimace stretched Voldemort's barely human face into the resemblance of a satisfied smile and he grasped Harry's wrist once more before pressing him down.

"Let's try this then shall we?" His ruby eyes flashed dangerously. "Lick my feet."

There was no change in Harry's expression as he slowly lowered his head to the bony feet and slid his tongue over them, making Sirius growl angrily once more.

"I think we have procrastinated long enough," Voldemort stated triumphantly. "Turn around, little catamite. I don't promise to make it pleasurable for both of us, but you won't think of anything but of pleasing me afterwards anyway. You can thank your father for this."

Harry obeyed without hesitating more than a second, and Sirius felt fear creep up in him. Up until then, he had merely been angry, and his anger had kept him from panicking too much, but now as he saw Voldemort approaching his fragile mate it bubbled up in him like one of Snape's vicious potions.

Where was Snape anyway? Lucius' position as a spy had been revealed, undoubtedly by his traitorous scum of a son, and so he had been forced to hide in Hogwarts, but Snape, Snape could be here, couldn't he? Surely, Voldemort wanted everyone to be there for his hour of triumph. He tried to inconspicuously look around and spy the sour man, but all of the Death Eaters, except for Malfoy, were wearing their masks and from his position on the floor it was hard to judge their actual height. He looked back at Harry. Merlin, what should he do? What if it the bond hadn't worked? And even if it had worked, he couldn't live with himself if that monster raped his little angel. He made an attempt to feel along the bond and tried to somehow convey a bit of reassurance, give Harry a bit of comfort, but he was not sure that Harry received those feelings.

He had been so lost in thought that he had almost managed to ignore Voldemort's scraggy fingers gliding over Harry's delicate hips, over his silky skin, but suddenly, an enraged scream rend the air, "Blood? Blood!" Voldemort shouted. "I gave explicit orders that you were not to take him, Malfoy!"

"I didn't, my Lord, I swear, I didn't... I..." Draco stuttered, all the blood draining from his face; for a brief moment, Sirius' heart was filled with malicious glee as the Dark Lord used the Cruciatus Curse on the blond. "Please, I swear, I can't explain it to myself..."

Sirius fleetingly thought that it was pathetic how easily Malfoy's haughty demeanour had been reduced to incoherent pleading, but then he turned his full attention back to his shivering mate. He was almost relieved that Harry was showing at least some emotion, even if it was fear. His absolutely stoic mien had started to worry him. He had feared... no, he wouldn't go there. Harry was okay, or he would be once they got out of there.

Furiously, Voldemort pointed his wand at Sirius after he had blown off some steam on Draco, realising who was to blame for his plans being thwarted. "You will pay for this!"

Sirius had no time to mentally prepare for the pain that would follow the red beam of light that burst from Voldemort's wand. A scream erupted from his throat, and he squeezed his eyes shut.

"No," a second scream joined his and as he managed to pry his eyes open, the dim darkness of the throne room was lit by a clear white light that seemed to play around Harry's slim form, seemed to hug and caress him lovingly as he raised his hands.

The line of Death Eaters wavered, shifted before they collectively took a step closer as if in trance.

"You will not hurt my mate," Harry said softly and his words were like a caress themselves; Sirius felt the grasp on his shoulders loosening.

To Sirius, his little elf looked like an angel, an eerie deity, neither good nor evil but raw power, and it seemed like the Death Eater had a similar impression. Still, Sirius wanted nothing more than to take Harry into his arms and protect his little submissive.

But he was not the only one. Draco got up from the floor and enclosed the elf in his arms and nuzzled his neck. Sirius growled lowly, and Harry stiffened in the veela's arms, but before the shadow veela had time to react one of the other Death Eaters, still masked, pushed the handsome blond aside and took his place.

"He's mine. You're hurting him. How dare you? Are you okay, Harry, honey? You're safe now, I'll protect you," the Death Eater's outraged exclamation turned to a gentle murmur.

"No, he's mine. Get your grubby hands off of him," the next Death Eater interrupted, and soon they were wrestling and hitting and kicking each other as Harry stood unfazed by the commotion.

"Please be still," he asked softly, and they ceased their fighting almost immediately. "Thank you."

Voldemort, who had been crouched on the floor, staring dumbly at the elf, snapped out of his trance, "What is the meaning of this? I demand obedience. Stop grovelling at his feet! Kill him. I will kill him"

"No," several Death Eaters, and Sirius shouted at the same time; the shadow veela finally found the strength to get to his feet and stumble towards his Harry, which earned him more than one furious glare and angry snarls.

Perhaps it was because Voldemort had so little humanity in him left that he was not as affected by Harry's charm as everyone else, but the Dark Lord was able to aim his wand rather steadily at Harry. Sirius glowered at him and swiftly went to shield his small mate with his own body, calling to balls of ice to his hands. A contemptuous smirk lifted the corners of Voldemort's lipless mouth.

"Do you think your veela magic will get past **my** shields?" Voldemort mocked.

In answer, Sirius threw his icy ammunition at Voldemort in quick succession, but the two balls didn't even come near Voldemort before they exploded and puffed out without leaving so much as a scratch on the Dark Lord. Voldemort laughed, motioning for Sirius to step aside, but the veela merely raised his head high and once more summoned two balls of ice. Even if they were useless, they were the only weapons available to him and he wouldn't go down without a fight.

"Gryffindor bravery?" Voldemort snorted. "It's a synonym for stupidity. What do I care if I kill you too, Black? It will only be a short delay before I get to your mate."

"You will not hurt my mate," Harry repeated, peeking out from under Sirius' arm, despite Sirius' attempt to keep him hidden.

"Oh, won't I?" Voldemort mocked. "Still so naive, Harry Potter, thinking that I would obey you."

He twirled his wand, and for a moment, Sirius almost thought that his life would be spared, but then, with a cruel whisper of two deadly words, green light shot towards him - and froze. Wind had come from nowhere and unrelentingly held against the curse like an invisible wall. Sirius could feel the breeze playing with his hair, caressing his skin. When he looked down at Harry, the fragile submissive had closed his eyes in concentration. Harry's wings burst from his back and timidly wrapped around Sirius as he snuggled into him.

"Close your eyes, please," Harry whispered to him.

He barely had the time to tear his eyes away from the Killing Curse that still hang in midair, halted inches away from his chest, before a vivid slash of lightning crackled through the air and cloaked his vision in impenetrable whiteness and his ears plugged with inhuman screams.

When he cautiously cracked an eye open again, the first thing he saw was a smoking crate to his feet and behind that Voldemort's lifeless red eyes staring at him from out of a white face. Sirius shook his head and quickly looked away, trying to ban the disturbing image into the darkest corner of his mind. A flittering spot of light made him look up. A gasp escaped him at the sight that greeted him. The dark, stone ceiling, that had stretched above him like a dome in an eerie, occult church, was no longer there and instead a clear star-spangled nightsky and the waning moon, half-way hidden behind a foggy cloud looked down on them. Soft rain, little warm droplets, fell on his face, and he briefly wondered how this had come to happen before he found the explanation and immediately swivelled around to his small mate, who had crumpled to the floor - unconscious.

"We need to get out of here before the Death Eaters pull themselves together." The Potion's Master's form broke away from the pile of still dazed Death Eaters. "Take Harry and follow me. Portkeys and Apparation doesn't work in here. Though, since the roof is destroyed, the wards might have been broken as well so if the situation becomes tight we will try to apparate. Can you walk, Black?"

"Yeah." Sirius nodded, scooping Harry up. "They didn't do much to me. Let's go."

Severus swept out of the hall, the bleeding, but fading Dark Mark on his arm opening the double doors. If they were lucky, the Death Eaters wouldn't regain their mind for a while yet and if the mark was gone completely, they wouldn't be able to open the door. But Severus assumed that this would be too much to ask for and turned his mind to more important matters like getting Harry back to Hogwarts and to the Hospital Wing as soon as possible.

Suddenly, Severus doubled over, his mouth open in a silent scream as he clutched his arm.

"Snape? Snape!" Sirius exclaimed, trying to balance Harry with only one arm so that he could reach out to his childhood enemy. "Man, we don't have time for this. Don't die on me now, Snivellus. Dammit, could your timing be any worse?!"

"Black, don't scream in my ear," Severus pressed out, supporting himself on his knees. "There's a vial in my left upper robe pocket."

"And what am I supposed to do with this information?" Sirius asked impatiently, looking down on Harry with worry.

"If you could get over your disgust and loathing for me long enough to get me the vial, without fondling me, I'd be compelled to be slightly grateful," Severus answered acidly. "I need the antidote, Black, preferably before the poison spreads through my blood stream."

"What poison?" Sirius demanded, but reached for the vial and handed it to the Potion's Master, who drank about half of it down and then smeared the rest of it on his Dark Mark.

"Harry made the snakes on our marks come alive and mine was kind enough to bite me. I didn't think it would actually be poisonous, though," Severus explained, regaining his breath and straightening up. "I'm ready."

"You're lucky you're a Potion's Master," Sirius murmured, instinctively reaching out when the other wizard stumbled.

"Luck? Black, really, don't be naive. The Dark Lord has a damned snake as a pet he loves to send after the Death Eaters. It's not because of luck that I carry an antidote against snake venom with me," Severus declared superiorly, fastening his steps again. "Does one of you need a Healing Potion?"

Sirius shook his head. "Harry isn't really hurt, physically. How long will it take, Snape? I can barely feel Harry anymore. Something is wrong."

Severus chanced a worried look at the pale youth and then carefully took him out of the veela's arms. "I know he needs your presence, Black, so no need to argue about that, but we need to hurry and you're weakened while the antidote boosted my energy. You don't have your wand so you won't be able to apparate and take him with you. We'll reach the Apparation border soon. You take my Portkey and I take Harry. Keep close."

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_Tada! Quite a bit earlier than usual, isn't it? I think that warrants tons __of reviews. Yes, tons!_


	26. My Mate and Master

_Disclaimer: See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: I was considering updating sooner, but then I wouldn't have been able to update over the weekend and I didn't want to leave you hanging for too long after the shock of this chapter *cackles*... So, here you go!_

_Beta: TheElementalMaster, thank you!_

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**26. MY MATE AND MASTER**

The steady beeping of the machine that monitored Harry's heart beat was the only indication that Harry was still alive, and Sirius was willing to cling to that sliver of hope, however feeble it was. He had to cling to it. He had passed days and whole weeks in that exact same position, holding Harry's small hand, pressing it to his lips in a mockery of intimacy that was never returned, sitting next to his still form on the uncomfortable chair he had barely vacated since Harry had been brought here, observing every small move of his chest. Up. Down. Up. Down. It was strangely comforting to just concentrate on the rising and falling of his chest and for a while, he could forget what it meant. Harry was still alive. Barely, perhaps, but still alive. He was still breathing, his heart was still beating. He was alive.

His hand was clutching Harry's and his thumb lightly rested against his pulse point, the steady if a bit faint throbbing helping him to stay calm. He shifted uncomfortably, closing his eyes for a second. They were probably bloodshot, and he knew that his hair was untidy and his face partially hidden by a scruff beard since he hadn't dared to leave Harry alone if only for the half hour that he would need to take a shower and clean up. He hadn't looked into a mirror, so he had no idea how he really looked.

Remus had tried to reason with him that his appearance would only scare Harry if... **when** he woke up. Harry would wake up. He couldn't bear to think otherwise.

When Snape and he had apparated to Hogsmeade and hastened up to the castle, Harry had still been unconscious and by the time they had reached the infirmary and Snape had placed Harry on the clean white sheets of the hospital bed, he had barely been able to feel their bond anymore. Madam Pomfrey had bustled over and had started to work on Harry's wounds, ordering Snape to pour potions down Harry's throat.

There was no reason for Harry not to wake up. His wounds had been healed in the matter of a few days since none of them had been too grave and Madam Pomfrey had checked him more than once for hidden injuries or poisons coursing through his veins. Nothing. There was no reason for Harry not to wake up, except for a mental trauma. Harry didn't want to wake up.

He had tried to relate to that, had tried to put himself in Harry's position and surprisingly enough, it was way easier than he had thought. For the first few weeks, he had almost hoped that Harry wouldn't wake up because he had no idea how he should act around him. Would Harry even want to see him? After what he did, after all the pain he caused him? What should he say, how should he greet him? He had thought about this so long and hard that Madam Pomfrey had to practically push an Anti-Headache Potion and a Calming Draught down his throat.

Remus and to his surprise Sébastien had helped him a lot to come to terms with what he had done, and they made it quite clear that by leaving Harry he would only make it worse. They were bonded, even though their connection had somehow turned into a dull aching. But he could feel Harry again, only dimly, as if he only saw his shadow, only heard his muffled voice and only felt him like through a sea of cotton wads, but he was there. And he needed him.

He still wasn't sure what would happen when Harry woke, but he had had enough time to play out all possible scenarios and figure out the best possible reaction to each. He was as ready as he would ever be. Only Harry wasn't ready yet.

"Hey," it was Sébastien, whose gentle French accent washed over Sirius' frayed nerves like the ocean, soothing him somewhat. "No change?"

"No," even to his own ears, Sirius' voice sounded hoarse and weak, "But..."

"I'm sure he'll wake as soon as he's ready," the siren assured him, taking the chair next to the veela, briefly putting his hand on the older man's shoulder. "He just needs a bit more time."

"How much fucking time does he need?!" Sirius suddenly exploded, his free hand balling into a fist, even though his hand around Harry's stayed loving. "It's Christmas soon, and he has been like this for over three weeks. He's made no sign of wanting to wake anytime soon..."

"I researched some things, you know," Sébastien stated, not reacting to his half-angry, half-desperate tone. "When you brought him here, he was exhausted because he not only used his powers but also had to disobey several dominants. He needs to process all their commands before he can wake again, Sirius. It's only natural. He will wake as soon as he is ready."

"But... it is taking him so long to get ready," Sirius all but whined. "Don't tell me you didn't expect him to wake sooner as well."

"Well, yes, I did, but we still don't have all the information. Maybe elves have a different way of dealing with such things," the younger man admitted. "But this is Harry we are talking about, from what I've heard he's infamous for surviving. Have a little faith in him."

"I hate waiting."

"At least you have someone to wait for." Sébastien sighed sadly, before he quickly shook his head and composed himself. "Look, submissives always come back to their dominants. Harry will do so too."

"Our bond just feels so strange, out of place, like I'm connected with a Harry but not with the Harry I know." Sirius groaned, not able to believe the reassuring words.

"You are most likely just not used to it, and your worry intensifies and falsifies your feelings," Sébastien told him not for the first time, but with the same unyielding patience and confidence as always.

Sirius looked mildly grateful as their eyes briefly met before the veela turned back to his comatose mate. "I never thanked you for being there for Harry. It was mighty ungrateful how I treated you."

"I would have been surprised if you had reacted with less jealousy," Sébastien stated firmly, a smile tugging his plump limps. "When Aaron was still alive, I threw jealous fits on a regular basis. It was driving him insane."

"It was still unfair," Sirius insisted. "I said some mean things about you to Harry and my thoughts were even nastier."

The siren shrugged. "I can understand you, though. If it hadn't been for you, I would have gladly taken care of Harry." The stormy grey eyes narrowed dangerously, and Sébastien raised his hands in surrender. "Stop, let me finish. I merely wanted to say that Harry is very special and that you can consider yourself lucky if he even looks at you. I would most definitely have fallen in love with him, but I doubt that he could ever love me as much as he loves you. You have every right to be extra protective of him. I wouldn't let him out of my sight, either. I doubt that I could have mustered up even as much control as you displayed this last few weeks - and he's not even my mate."

"We should agree on never talking about this again," Sirius growled. "Because Harry likes you and surprisingly enough I think you are not half bad either, but I swear if I ever see you looking at my mate in that way or hear you talking about him like this again I will kill you without an ounce of regret."

"D'accord." Sébastien smiled good-naturedly. "I'll think I'll take my leave now anyway. I just wanted to remind you to eat something before all your muscles disappear once more and you turn into the skeleton you used to be."

Sirius flashed him a weak grin, dutifully reaching for the bowl of lukewarm soup a house-elf had brought him earlier and began to shovel some of the stuff into his mouth. It tasted like mushrooms and if he had cared enough, he would have the house-elves bring him something else, but so he only dunked some of the soft white bread into it and forced it down his throat. He knew he had to eat and so he ate. Just like he knew that he had to drink and so he emptied the by now cold coffee in one go. It was a horrible combination and it left him feeling slightly nauseous, but it hardly made any difference to him, as his eyes didn't stray from Harry's face.

He looked so peaceful and innocent, his small form almost swallowed by the downy pillows and blankets, his black hair in stark contrast to the whiteness of them, his skin milky, but warm to his touch. Not too warm, no, Harry didn't have a fever. There was nothing physically wrong with Harry, and his magic that at first had randomly surfaced weaving a protective shield around Harry and himself, had settled down as well.

He looked younger too and it filled him with a strange kind of bittersweet sadness that he had never seen Harry grow up. Deep down inside, he knew that it would have made it even more difficult if he had had the opportunity to be a real godfather for Harry, but he still couldn't help but feel that he had missed so much of Harry's life. The things Harry had told him about his first few years at Hogwarts had made him feel so utterly helpless because he hadn't been there to protect him and then again he felt strangely disappointed because he hadn't been involved in all the mischief Harry, Ron and Hermione had got into. Harry never talked about his childhood, which strengthened his belief that it had been not at all rosy and that he had failed James because his son had got hurt, and he hadn't been there to prevent it.

And now he had failed Harry again and instead of protecting him, he had hurt him and Harry had had to protect him. Snape had described the whole confrontation as awe-inspiring, though of course he hadn't used that word and had hid it under a whole book of sarcastic comments and he was definitely proud of what Harry had done: manipulated the Death Eaters, the atmosphere, the weather, the Dark Marks, vanished Voldemort once and for all. Snape had said that Harry's wind had hurled the Killing Curse back at Voldemort and that then his lighting had done the rest. Sirius couldn't understand it fully and whenever he tried to remember it, all that came to his mind was Harry's body pressed into his and his wings wrapped around him. He wasn't sure he wanted to remember. Voldemort was dead and that was all that mattered to him. Now Harry only had to wake up!

He leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to Harry's forehead. "Wake up, love, please."

A figment of his imagination, he told himself, turning away to get his emotions under control again. It was just wishful thinking, Harry's eyes hadn't fluttered, his hands were still limp and hadn't momentarily tightened around his fingers. Harry hadn't groaned either, and he hadn't tossed around while a small whimper escaped his lips.

Maybe he was still sleeping, yes, a beautiful dream. He didn't want to wake up. It had been so long since he had last seen Harry's forest green eyes, since Harry's lips had responded to his kisses, since small puffs of air had teased his skin while he pulled Harry in his lap. So long, so good.

"Harry, tell me this is not a dream," he pleaded in a gruff whisper, his eyes now closed and his lips only millimetres away from Harry's. "Tell me you're really awake."

"It's not a dream, I'm really awake," Harry's voice was soft like a warm summer breeze and when Sirius pulled back, he was smiling slightly.

"Merlin, it's not a dream," Sirius mumbled to himself before he repeated the same sentence only in much louder voice, laughing happily and dancing around the room with Harry still in his arms. "I have you back."

He wasn't sure what he had expected when he had thought of all of possible reactions, but it hadn't seemed very likely that Harry would snuggle into him and respond to his kisses and act like nothing had ever happened. Wait, Harry did know what had happened, didn't he?

"Harry, do you know what happened?" his own voice sounded hesitant to his ears; he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer.

Why should he remind Harry of everything that happened? The past was in the past and it should stay there. It sounded like something Dumbledore would say or maybe Remus or maybe both, at the same time, making a theatrical bow... He really should eat more.

"Of course I know what happened," Harry stated with conviction. "Death Eaters kidnapped us, we bonded and now I'm safe again. Thank you."

"Erm, yes," Sirius faltered, Harry was full of surprises; he hadn't expected that answer, but before he could come up with something more coherent and witty to say, the door of the infirmary was pushed open with such force that it banged against the white walls and left an unsavoury dent in one of the tiles.

A bit of greyish plaster flittered to the clean floor as Madam Pomfrey followed by Dumbledore with a maniac twinkle in his eyes, Remus and Severus with his robes billowing behind him, Sébastien, Lucius and Narcissa stormed into the up until then rather peaceful hospital room.

"Put him down this very moment, Mr. Black," Madam Pomfrey ordered sternly. "You should know better than to swirl him around like that before I have checked him. Mr. Potter, how are you feeling?"

Harry cocked his head to the side as if he wasn't sure how to answer that question, but then he gave an albeit short answer, "I feel good."

"Well, we'll see about that," the nurse tutted disapprovingly, while Sirius gently placed his small mate back on the bed. "Are you in any pain, Mr. Potter?"

Harry shook his head, watching curiously as the nurse checked his vitals before he once again sought out Sirius' eyes, smiling at him. Something about his behaviour worried Sirius. Even if he remembered everything that had happened, wouldn't one normally be a bit disoriented at first, ask questions like what time it was, how long he had been out, how they got back? And instead there was nothing, only a plastic smile.

"Are you sure you are okay?" Severus seemed to have come to the same conclusion, his black eyes scrutinising the delicate youth.

Harry's eyes narrowed marginally as he turned towards the tall Potion's Master. "I don't like you. I don't have to answer you."

Severus drew back, shocked, hurt briefly flitting over his face and showing in his eyes before he slammed his guards up, turning swiftly and leaving with the same billowing of his robes but in a totally different frame of mind.

"What was that?" Remus asked, his normally calm voice rising a few notches at he thought of his hurt partner. "Harry, explain this to me, since when don't you like Severus? I thought you were friends!"

He took a step forward, not thinking about what an effect such a menacing gesture could have on the small submissive, but Harry only brilliantly smiled up at him. "Remus, it's so great to see you. I'm not afraid of you anymore!"

Remus looked incredulously at his grinning adopted godson, sniffing the air as if expecting there to be something that was causing Harry's weird behaviour, but came up with nothing. "What is wrong, Harry? You can tell me, or don't you like me anymore either?" he couldn't help the sharp sarcastic edge his last question carried.

Harry didn't seem to mind, was indeed completely unfazed by Remus' presence, and seemed oblivious to the tension and worry in the room. "Nothing is wrong with me, Remus, what should be wrong with me?"

"You aren't acting like yourself," Sirius ventured uncertainly, and Harry's eyes suddenly watered.

"I'm sorry, Master, I'm sorry. I thought you wanted me to like Remus and dislike Snivellus. I thought you wanted me to be happy, Master. I'm sorry, I'll be good from now on, I promise, Master. I'll be good." During his rambling, he had slipped to the floor, kneeling at Sirius's feet with his head bowed demurely and his hands crossed behind his back, while the teachers watched in horror.

"Master?!" A furious shout made their heads briefly swivel away from the distraught submissive as an angry redhead accompanied by a not much more happy brunette burst into the hospital room, something that might have been an Extendable Ear dangling from his pocket. "What the fuck is going on here? What have you done to Harry, you fucking pervert?!"

"Mr. Weasley, if you insist on using such foul language in my hospital wing, I will be forced to remove you," Madam Pomfrey admonished him sternly . "Though I'd like to have those questions answered as well, Mr. Black. What is the explanation for this?"

"I..." Sirius gulped, looking pleadingly at his best friend. "I don't know either. I don't understand."

"Perhaps Harry could answer those questions for us," Dumbledore intervened, and for once there was no twinkle in his eyes. "If he were calmer."

"Shh, Harry, calm down for me." Sirius dropped to his knees beside Harry, trying to concentrate on getting him to calm down and not on all the unsolved questions. "It's fine. I'm not angry. We'll work this out. Shh, beautiful, I love you. We'll talk about what happened, yeah? It's not your fault."

"I'm sorry, Master, I didn't mean to disobey you." Harry sobbed, but made a conscious effort to stop crying. "What can I do to make it up to you, Master?"

"Let's get off the floor first, hm?" Sirius murmured, easily scooping him up and settling him on the hospital bed once more, taking him in his arms. "Now, I want you to answer our questions, okay?"

"Everything that you wish, Master," Harry assured him, and Sirius grimaced at his new title, forcing himself not to shout and shake some sense into Harry.

"Harry, why are you calling Sirius 'Master'?" Hermione cautiously took a step forward, uncertainly hovering at the edge of the hospital bed, not sure if she should dare to sit down.

Harry seemed confused. "Because he is my master. Should I be calling him something else?" He turned pleading eyes towards the tall veela. "Don't you like it, Master?"

"To be honest, Harry, no, I don't like it very much," Sirius murmured, and Harry's face fell. "I'm not your master, Harry, so there's no need to call me that. Call me Sirius, will you?"

"But you are," Harry exclaimed desperately clutching to his robes. "Don't you want me anymore? I promise, I'll be better. Just tell me what you want. I'll do it... Please, Master Sirius, don't be angry with me. I promise I'll be good. Don't get rid of me, please, please, please, please..."

"Shh, Harry, I'm not getting rid of you." Sirius sighed, only finding helpless faces as he looked around at the others. "I love you. You're my mate, I'm your mate, but I'm not your master. Whoever gave you that idea? Who said I was your master, hm?"

"I... I don't know," Harry whispered. "No one told me that you were my dominant either."

"Okay, this is getting us nowhere," Remus intervened. "Harry, tell me, are you really not afraid of me any longer?"

"Should I be afraid?" Harry asked back, looking at Sirius for the appropriate answer.

"No, Harry, it's not that," Hermione tried to explain. "But you used to be afraid, so what we're really asking is: What is different now?"

Harry shrugged uncaringly. "You always know everything, so why are you asking me?"

"Man, you don't have to snap at Mione because you are confused." Ron looked mildly affronted and definitely reproachful.

"I'm not confused," Harry stated. "You're confused and you're trying to confuse me. I know everything I need to know."

"And what is that, my dear boy?" Dumbledore spoke up, and Harry glared at him as if telling him to keep his nose out their business.

"Sirius is my mate and master."

The others unsuccessfully waited for him to say something more.

Finally, Sébastien cleared his throat, but instead of asking another question, he turned to Sirius, who was looking close to a nervous breakdown. "Maybe you should tell Harry to go to sleep. He still needs rest."

"Yeah," Sirius' normally rich deep voice sounded slightly hoarse. "Yeah, Harry, I think you should take a little nap, yes? I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Yes, Master Sirius." Harry smiled at him before dozing off almost immediately, resting lightly against the Animagus' chest.

Sirius sighed, carefully getting out from under his small mate and tucking him in before he silently led the others outside. "What is going on here? Sébastien?"

"My guess is that you established a Master-Slave Bond rather than a Love Bond," he answered carefully. "Harry acts like that in any case."

"What? But that's not possible. It can't be possible. I don't want this Harry. I want my Harry back," Sirius all but shouted, tugging on his black hair.

"It is possible, Sirius," Sébastien said softly. "It is even very likely from what you have told us. Your emotional and mental bonding wasn't completed yet, you just had a fight, Harry's hands were bound, he didn't enjoy himself nor did he reach completion. Those are not the best premises for a good and stable Love Bond, Sirius, you know that yourself."

"But this will pass, won't it?" Ron spoke up, not sounding any less desperate than the shadow veela. "It's just like the flu. Once Harry realises that we all want the old him back, he'll go back to normal, right?"

"Don't you know anything, boy?" Lucius sneered, his silver eyes spitting fire. "A bond, no matter what kind of bond, is eternal. It can't be broken, and it won't just pass off because you don't like it."

"Yeah, you like that of course, don't you, you bastard?" the redhead shouted back, glaring at him, for once glad about his impressive height - what a satisfaction to be able to glare down at the tall blond! "To see Harry reduced to a slave."

"That's quite enough, boys." Dumbledore shot them both significant glances. "This is not the time to exchange insults and revive old family feuds."

"I read about this," Hermione murmured more to herself, blushing as she became aware of the attention she was attracting. "When they were still selling submissives they always used this bond because it's simple and doesn't require any form of acceptance from the sub. And because it has hardly any consequences for the master. What Harry now says or does doesn't reflect his own feelings and opinions but only Sirius'. That's his only aim now: to please his master and obey all of his commands."

"Well, then I'll just tell him that I don't want to be his master and that he should start acting normal again," Sirius declared, refusing to see any fault in his logic even as Remus shook his head.

"Paddy, it doesn't work like this. If you tell him you don't want to be his master, he'll feel rejected. To him this is acting normal," Remus told him. "For him, acting normal is obeying you and making you happy. If you tell him to stop you'll have to tell him what to do instead. You can't just make it undone, Sirius, it's just not possible."

"I won't just sit back and accept this!" Sirius shouted. "I won't have this shell of Harry! I won't! I promised him to take care of him and that everything would be better once we were bonded and now he is dead! He's dead, Merlin be damned! He won't feel unless I feel something and he won't do anything unless I tell him to. This is not a life! This is not a life for Harry. He deserves so much more..."

He broke down in sobs, and Remus put a comforting hand around his shaking shoulders, mumbling comforting nothings in response to his desperate pleas.

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_If you don't review, I will... I will be very disappointed :-(. And you wouldn't want that, right?_


	27. A World in Pieces

_Disclaimer: See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: I really intended to update sooner, but this just wasn't my week. Two exams, lots of stress, many misunderstandings and a sad anniversary - I'm just glad, it's over! Anyway, thanks for your reviews. I'll answer them soon, but I guess that you're more interested in a new chapter in any event *wink*._

_Beta: Blaithin-mae, thank you!_

_**Warnings for this chapter: Suicidal thoughts and lots of drama.**_

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**27. A WORLD IN PIECES**

Sirius had taken to standing up in the middle of the night just to watch the boy he once loved. When Harry was sleeping he could pretend that he hadn't turned into a spineless creature; who always answered the way he thought Sirius wanted him to answer, who hated or liked people because he instinctively knew which people Sirius hated or liked, who seemed to know his innermost wishes and did everything to make them come true, who just wasn't Harry anymore.

Of course he still loved him, he couldn't help but love him how ever much he tried to deny it, but now his desire for this small submissive burned much stronger than his love. Sex. It was probably the only thing they still had in common or would have in common if Sirius was to give in to his urges. But he wouldn't. He may not be able to stop Harry from acting like a slave, but he would not reduce him to a sex slave. No, not Harry.

But this was not his Harry anyway. This was someone else, someone who was so very **pleasing** that it made him sick to think about it. He had tried to accept it and make the most of it, he had tried to set some general rules so that Harry at least wouldn't behave like a slave, but other than getting Harry to call him "Sirius" once more, his attempts were not crowned with success. Obviously he had a very dirty mind, and Harry knew it.

The first time he had walked into their bedroom, Harry had been naked, sensually draped on the covers, only waiting to be taken. He had told Harry to get dressed. The next day as he stepped out of the bathroom, Harry was kneeling in front of the door, once again without any clothes, and had crawled towards him, his behind swaying in invitation. Sirius had told him to get dressed. The third day he had woke from a blowjob. He had told Harry to get dressed because once again he was naked. By now the first thing he told Harry to do whenever he went into his room was to get dressed. It would have broken the real Harry's heart, but this Harry was only to glad to obey and it broke Sirius' heart.

He had tried everything. He had tried to give Harry very precise orders, but his dirty mind destroyed all his hard work. He had tried to act as if nothing happened, but something like this just couldn't be ignored. He had tried to talk sense into Harry, but he hadn't been able to discover even a hazy shadow of the boy he had loved. He had tried to scare Harry and startle a reaction out of him, but the only reaction he got was tears and endless apologies. It was hopeless.

"Harry? Come on we are going to breakfast," he called loudly and added as an afterthought, maybe more out of habit, "I hope you're dressed."

The still frail-looking elf entered the living room of their apartment with a sweet smile on his lips - he was almost always smiling these days - and thankfully fully clothed. Sirius forced a smile of his own, offering his arm to Harry to prevent him from walking a few steps behind him and silently led him down to the Great Hall. He was thankful that most of the students had already left for Christmas and even more grateful that they would be leaving today as well.

Remus had invited Severus, Harry and Sirius, to spend Christmas with him in Wales where he owned a small cottage. Sirius had been there a few times before he had been thrown into Azkaban, but he didn't remember much of it. He didn't much care either. Maybe a change of environment would help Harry. A feeble, useless hope, he knew that. Nonetheless, he was grateful to his old friend since the thought of having to spend another day in the same room with Harry was close to painful. He was doing his best not to avoid him, but he also had a breaking point and to see Harry like this was like a constant ache, pushing him towards it. But he had to keep himself together, for Harry's sake if not for his own.

"Hey Remus," Sirius murmured quietly, sitting down and pulling Harry down in the chair next to his, least he kneel on the floor. "Everything packed?"

"Yes, what about you? You look tired." The werewolf gave him a playful punch while his eyes shown with concern.

"I'm okay. Harry, please, eat something." Sirius sighed, pushing the basket with rolls towards the younger man. "I guess you haven't found a solution yet?"

"Sirius,..." Remus trailed off uncertainly. "There is no solution. I think it's time you accept this and get used to the new situation..."

Sirius glared at him, but didn't answer. They had had this same conversation too often since Harry had woke up. Remus sighed deeply, exchanging a look with Severus, who suffered almost as much as Sirius under Harry's changed behaviour. On Sirius' strict orders Harry treated the Potion's Master with respect, but that was about it, since Sirius' own animosity made Harry think that he didn't like the thin, black-haired man.

"Our portkey goes at ten thirty," Remus said after a while, gently putting down his knife and reaching for his coffee. "Shall we meet in the Entrance Hall?"

Sirius nodded, reaching for Harry's hand. "Come on, love, we still need to pack."

"Okay, Sirius." Harry smiled compliantly, the other man's name holding more reverence and respect than Sirius would have liked.

It was only another word for 'Master', no longer his name. He groaned.

"Harry, would you mind packing on your own? You can call the house-elves to help you," Sirius asked suddenly, stopping in the hallway.

"Okay," Harry agreed at once. "Is something bothering you, Sirius?"

_Yes, yes! You! _"No, Harry, I'm fine. I'll come and fetch you later, okay?"

"Okay," Harry said once more and, after a fleeting kiss to his cheek, went back to their rooms.

Sirius waited until he was out of earshot, before he let himself fall against the wall and banged his head back against it repeatedly.

He hadn't expected it to make him feel better and indeed it only added a throbbing headache to the list of his problems.

"Is Master Sirius not feeling good?" a timid, squeaky voice asked and as he dragged his eyes open, he caught sight of Dobby.

"Not really." He smiled wryly, before he shook his head with a wince. "Is there something you wanted, Dobby? Is something wrong with Harry."

"Harry is still packing, Master Sirius. Dobby wanted to ask Master Sirius if he could come with him and Harry?" the house-elf asked hopefully, his tennis ball eyes pleading.

"Sure, if you want to." Sirius shrugged and then sighed. "Harry always loved to have you around..."

Dobby nodded proudly.

"Dobby, do you have any idea what is going on with Harry?" Sirius asked desperately.

"Dobby knows what is going on, Master Sirius," the diminutive creature stated gloomily. "We house-elves know about this kind of bonds, Master Sirius."

"What do you know about this? Do you have any way to help Harry and me. Please, Dobby, I want my Harry back," Sirius begged, crouching down so that he was on eye level with the house-elf.

Dobby shook his head sadly. "Dobby knows this bond, Dobby knows what it is like. It's a house-elf bond. Dobby was under it too, until Harry freed him." Huge tears splashed down his cheek. "Harry was always good to poor Dobby, always tried to help him. But now Dobby can do nothing to help Harry." He sniffed.

"Dobby, does that mean I can just give Harry clothes and he'll be back to normal?" Sirius could barely control the hope that threatened to overwhelm him, but Dobby shook his head so that his ears flapped.

"No, Master Sirius. It's not like the house-elf bonds today and it wasn't intended to be broken. Never." Dobby shook his head again, his eyes watering with tears. "Never."

"But there has to be something!" Sirius all but shouted, grasping Dobby by the shoulders and shaking him forcefully. "Dobby! You have to tell me! I need all the information you can give me. Anything might help Harry," Sirius urged him and Dobby made a visible attempt to calm himself.

"All the house-elves love Harry because he is a symbol of what we lost, what we used to be," the house-elf finally murmured. "When the first elves were forced into submission, they were like Harry, but over the years their power and beauty dwindled and their little elflings possessed less and less of their magic and grace. They became house-elves." He looked earnestly up at the veela, but Sirius was so lost in the world, Dobby's words had conjured up, that he barely noticed the way those words had been spoken: with sadness and melancholy and nostalgia, yes, but also with pride and dignity, not at all like the usual ineloquent babbling house-elves were prone to.

Sirius nodded encouragingly to make him continue and Dobby heaved a huge sigh. "Elves are not supposed to be bound, they need their freedom because they are like nature itself - untamable, wild and free. You cannot force the love of an elf, potions and spells are useless, it is given freely or not at all. Love Bonds don't work on them either, unless they already loved their bonded and so the wizards and witches, who wanted the pleasure of owning an elf, invented this bond. Not to protect, but to possess, forcing not love, but obedience.

"Today, no one would want to touch us sexually and thus, the wizard invented another bond, another kind of slavery. A weaker bond to bind weaker creatures and a bond from which we can be released under certain circumstances."

"What does that mean for Harry?" Sirius croaked. "If we can't break the bond, can I still release him from it? Can't you think of something I could do...?"

"Dobby only knows one thing: If Master Sirius doesn't find a way, Harry will start to lose himself, his powers, his magic, his mind and his heart." Dobby sniffed, before he plopped away, leaving Sirius in a state of desperation and fear.

He couldn't quite say when he had come into closer contact with the cold stone floor, nor when he started to cry into his hands, but when Remus came looking for him, he had calmed at least in so far that the werewolf's concerned questions registered with him. Not that it helped much. No, he wasn't okay. Yes, it had to do with Harry. No, he wouldn't give up. Yes, he knew that no one had a solution. No, he didn't know what to do either. Yes, he would eat more. No, he would be fine as soon as Harry was back to normal. Yes, they had talked about this already. No, he hadn't changed his opinion. Yes, he was going to be sick.

And then he threw up all over Remus' robes, dry-heaving when he had emptied his stomach. No, he was not okay.

He had never felt quite so pathetic in his life, though sometimes in Azkaban, in his dirty, cold, little cell he had felt close enough. Remus was patting his back comfortingly, murmuring something that Sirius was not sure were actual words. And all he could think about was Harry, that Harry wasn't there to comfort him, that it weren't Harry's arms wrapped around him, not Harry's voice that soothed him.

"Harry!" he cried out and Remus' arms tightened around him.

"Sirius, I know this is hard for you, though I don't think I fully understood how hard." Remus rocked him like one would rock a baby or a distressed child. "But maybe, and please don't flip out again, it would be easier for you and Harry if you learned to live with this. I hate to see you wasting away. Believe me, I don't like this anymore than you do, and I wish that we could have our Harry back, but it's just not realistic." Remus pulled back slightly, making him look up at him. "I'm your best friend, Paddy, am I not? It hurts me to see you like this and it hurts Harry. Don't take away what little happiness he can still feel, Sirius."

"It's just not fair," Sirius whispered brokenly.

"I know." Remus sighed. "But for Harry's sake at least, try. You aren't helping him with pushing him away. Maybe you can learn to love this Harry as well."

"This Harry is like me," Sirius growled bitterly. "I'm not that self-centred or narcissistic."

"No, Sirius, this Harry is everything you want him to be," Remus argued. "Just try to treat him like the old Harry, and maybe you will be surprised."

"Fine," the veela grumbled, keeping what Dobby told him to himself; no use in worrying Remus even more, he was already upset enough because of his cub.

"Let's go, okay?" Remus attempted a smile as he stood up and held out his hand to help Sirius to his feet. "Harry and Severus are already waiting in the Entrance Hall, and the portkey will be activated soon too."

Sirius nodded, straightened up, drew back his shoulders and held his head high. No, he wouldn't give up, but he wouldn't despair either. There had to be a way and until he found it, he would try to heed Remus' advice.

Harry sent him a brilliant, mindless smile as they approached the two black-haired wizards, and Sirius, true to his recent decision, opened his arms for him and scooped him up. "Ready to go, sweetheart?"

"Yes, I'm ready." Harry smiled, nuzzling his neck. "I love you."

Sirius clenched his hands into fists. "I love you too, Harry."

Remus motioned for them to take a hold of the portkey after he had shrunken their belongings, they were whisked away only to land seconds later in Remus' living room.

Sirius had to admit that it had changed quite a bit from what he remembered. For one, there was actual furniture instead of the odd boxes that used to constitute as sitting opportunities and tables. The walls were now covered by light chocolate brown wallpaper that actually matched the dark wood of the two armchairs, the sofa and the low coffee table. The previously half empty book-shelves were now filled to the brim with books and rolls of parchment, and the colourful pillows which used to lie scattered around the room had been replaced with dark brown and cream coloured pillows that sat on the sofa. The windows also had curtains in front of them, and the bare stone floor had been covered with a fluffy coffee-brown carpet. Everything looked a little worn and used, there were deep scratches on the surface of the coffee table and a darker spot on the carpet near the desk, but it was still very cozy and homey. Sirius thought it was boring, but he kept his tongue and just nodded approvingly.

Remus showed them their rooms, and Sirius almost laughed out loud at the fact that he had given him and Harry separate rooms. Harry didn't seem to mind though and just outright ignored the invitingly held open door to his rooms and followed Sirius into his. The expression on Remus' face made Sirius burst into laughter for the first time in days, no, weeks and though the werewolf looked affronted and irritated, his eyes softened a little and he didn't protest too much. It was useless anyway since nothing but Sirius' order would compel Harry to not share his room with him and Sirius was smart enough to know that this would hurt Harry and so he chose to see the humour in the situation.

For a moment, he almost believed that a bit of life returned into Harry's eyes as he laughed, and he hugged the small elf to his chest before he could realise the error of his observation.

Remus scowled at them some more before he cleared his throat. "How about lunch in an hour? Severus and I'll be down the hall if you need anything."

Sirius nodded, taking a deep breath of Harry's hair that smelled vaguely like warm milk with honey. "We'll be fine. Don't worry."

Remus returned his nod, but they both knew that nothing was fine and that it most likely would never be fine again. He softly closed the door, leaving Sirius and his cub alone. Sirius enjoyed the warmth of Harry's delicate body for a moment longer, before he drew back reluctantly.

"Is there anything you would like to do?" he asked gently, cupping Harry's face.

The once vibrant green eyes stared into his, trying to find the answer to that question, and he sighed, absently tracing the shell of Harry's pointy ear with one finger. Harry giggled softly, and Sirius' heart felt a little lighter. He carefully sealed Harry's lips with a warm kiss, saving the small elf from answering.

"Merlin, Harry, do you know how much I love you?" He moaned as Harry innocently pressed closer to him - or maybe, judging by Harry's new nature, it might have been cold calculation just as well.

"I love you even more," Harry replied.

"No, Harry, I love you more," he argued sadly.

"Aren't you satisfied with me, Sirius?" Harry asked in alarm. "I'm sorry, please, I'll try to love you even more. Please, I'm sorry, but I already love you with all my life, with all my heart, with all my soul. I'm sorry if I'm not enough, Sirius, I want to please you. What can I do? I'm sorry, Sirius -"

"Harry, enough of this. Calm down." Sirius shook his head unwillingly. "You did nothing wrong, do you understand? You have nothing to blame yourself for and you don't need to apologise either."

"But... but I made you upset." Harry sniffed, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes, his whole body trembling. "I shouldn't make you upset."

"You know what would make me extremely happy?" the veela decided to change tactics, and Harry's seemed a bit more hopeful and eager, "To hold you in my arms and feel your heartbeat and your breath on my skin. Let's go downstairs and find out if we can enjoy the warmth of a crackling fire. That's supposed to be very romantic, right? Come on."

He didn't wait for an answer and instead tightly clasped his hand around Harry's and led him back downstairs - he hadn't known that acting like nothing was wrong would be so demanding!

To his surprise, the living room was not as empty as he had expected and he spotted Severus and Remus snuggling, if the Potion's Master was capable of that, in the cozy, slightly worn armchair, as it seemed also enjoying the crackling fire in the fireplace. He muttered a tired greeting, and Harry smiled at Remus, more or less ignoring Severus, whose face had become an impenetrable mask of indifference. Sirius had assumed that the hook-nosed wizard would get up from where he was sitting half on the arm of the armchair and half in the werewolf's lap, but instead he only shifted a little, though he looked uncomfortable. He would have laughed if that sight wouldn't have reawakened the longing for his Harry, who would have loved to snuggle with him, and he felt envy rise in his chest because Remus and Severus still shared that love he would most likely never experience again. He wanted to be this close to Harry and he didn't mean the physical contact, but the emotional closeness he could practically see oozing off of them.

"Why are you glaring at me, now?" Severus asked suddenly, his voice smooth, but with traces of bitterness as he locked his eyes with Harry's.

"You are making Sirius sad," Harry answered without hesitation, returning the glare.

A sneer curled the thin man's lip, but Remus only looked sad and he appeasingly rubbed his hand up and down Severus' side. He must have said something along the lines of showing compassion and being considerate, because in the next moment Severus' temper flared and he jumped up, angrily knocking the amber-eyed man's hands aside.

"And what about me? Do you even care how I feel? Everything is about Black nowadays, **his** feelings and **his** broken heart and **his** depression. I'm sick and tired of being considerate and understanding and forthcoming and helpful! Guess what, Black is not the only one who suffers from this situation. Did you for one moment think about how hard it is for **me** that Harry hates me now just because of Black? No, of course not, because Black now has a devoted slave and that is so much worse than having your best friend suddenly hating you! I tried to be nice and compassionate, but all I got from you was more whining about how bad Black has it and when I, for once wanted to talk about something, you had to remind me how hard this is for **Black**!

"I thought that perhaps you would get the hint some time and realise how much it hurts to talk about Harry and how much it hurts to see him glare at me every chance he gets, but the only thing on your mind is Black, Black, and once again Black! All I wanted was for you to take **one** moment to comfort me, to listen to me and to come to me when I needed you, but you were of course always with Black. It's obvious were your priorities lie, and I'm finished being pushed aside, you can find someone else, Lupin. We're over."

Remus' face shuttered as Severus turned to the fireplace and disappeared without a backward glance. He truly hadn't noticed how much Severus was hurting, how much it pained him to lose Harry and essentially Remus as well. Maybe his brotherly love to Sirius had gone too far, but all he wanted was for everyone to feel better, and Sirius was hurting the most obviously. Severus would have hidden his feelings, he wouldn't have said anything with words, but of course, it was hard for him as well. Sirius at least had a Harry that loved him, but Severus didn't have anyone, especially as Remus had so crudely abandoned him.

"Maybe you should follow him, Moony," Sirius suggested gently. "As much as I hate to admit it, but I think he was right. If I were in his place I would feel pretty awful as well, and Snape doesn't strike me as someone who has a lot of people he can confide in. You, Harry, maybe Dumbledore, but that's it. And if two of those people aren't there for him anymore... Just go find him and apologise, okay, Remus? And tell him that I'm sorry as well. None of us wanted this."

Remus nodded slowly, getting up as if a huge weight was pressing him down. His face had turned ashen and his eyes had become glassy as if he would start to cry any minute. Sirius carefully pushed him over to the fireplace and offered him the box with Floo powder. As if in trance, Remus took a small handful after a moment or two. His voice was raspy as he stated his destination and Sirius had to support him as he stumbled into the fire and disappeared.

"Sirius?" Harry's small voice startled him, and he turned towards the little elf, who had grown his wings which were now fluttering nervously, not sure if he should protect himself or await his punishment.

Sirius nodded to show that he was listening and heavily sat down on the sofa next to Harry.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered. "I'm sorry I made Remus leave and you so sad. I'm sorry, but we don't like Snape, do we? Please, I'm sorry."

"No, Harry, I don't like Snape very much, but Remus does. And Snape likes you a lot and when you're mean to him, it makes him sad and that again makes Remus sad. Do you understand?" Sirius felt like he was explaining something to a little child, something that was understood, like that you don't just pull away your glass when you don't want anymore juice.

"But we don't like Snape," Harry protested meekly. "He's an antisocial git, who lacks body hygiene, has no sense of humour and likes to make people feel miserable, right?"

"Do you think Remus would like him if he was exactly like that?" Sirius decided on the diplomatic approach, since he couldn't very well say that he disagreed; those were his thoughts, might they be true or not.

"People make mistakes," Harry said uncertainly. "He could get someone better than Snivellus."

"Harry, I don't want you to call him that, I told you so," the grey-eyed man chastised, and Harry whimpered and looked fearfully up at him.

"I'm sorry, Sirius, I'm sorry."

"Yes, I know." Sirius sighed. "We cannot help who we love, Harry, and Remus thinks very highly of Snape, so we have to be nice to Snape or we'll hurt Remus."

"But he was making you sad," Harry argued weakly. "I could feel it. He deserved to be sad as well!"

"Harry, did you feel his sadness?" Sirius asked, almost hopefully, though he wasn't sure what difference that would make.

Harry nodded timidly. "Remus was really sad before he left as well."

"I don't want you to make anyone sad, okay, Harry, not even Snape," Sirius ordered, and Harry nodded mutely. "And I expect you to be nice to him as well and I don't mean that cold politeness you have shown him recently because I'm sure you have noticed how upset he was because of that."

Harry nodded again, bowing his head to his chest so that Sirius wouldn't notice his tears because that would make him sad and he wasn't allowed to make anyone sad, least of all Sirius. Though Sirius had once told him to tell him if something was bothering him. He wasn't sure what he should do now, but he decided to keep to the more recent order, ignoring the sharp pain that flared through his whole body for disobeying his master. He needed to be punished, but Sirius said he would never do that and so it was Harry who needed to punish himself. But he couldn't let Sirius see or his master would be upset.

"Sirius?" he asked softly, keeping his head down. "Am I allowed to go to the toilet?"

"Of course." Sirius nodded with a smile, seemingly relieved that this conversation was over and that he had made him understand. "You don't have to ask my permission, but I'm glad that you told me where you are going."

Harry ducked out from under his arm and hastened up the stairs. He wasn't sure what he should do. His relatives had always liked to starve him or lock him in his cupboard as a punishment, but both forms were not an option right now. Sirius would surely notice if he just disappeared and isolated himself for a several days, and he wouldn't like it and ask Harry question he wouldn't be able to answer without hurting him.

Starving wasn't a possibility either because his master, even though he wasn't allowed to call him that anymore, had made a point of reminding him to eat at every meal and though he had managed to eat less sometimes when his master wasn't paying attention to him, it was not enough to warrant as a suitable punishment for such an infringement.

Aunt Petunia used to burden him with chores, but he didn't know what he could possibly do in this unfamiliar house and with house-elves doing all the work. He uncertainly looked around himself, trying to find a dirty spot on the wall or cobwebs in the corners, but there was nothing for him to clean or scrub.

His uncle sometimes hit him when he had done something really bad, and Harry suddenly wished for him to be there so that he could deal out his just punishment. Now that he didn't have his uncle to rely on to put him in his place, he wasn't sure how he should go about disciplining himself.

An image of Dobby hitting himself in the head with a lamp crossed his mind, but he knew that he couldn't leave any visible damage or his master would be even more upset, like the one time he had found the deep lashes on Harry's arms, stomach and legs that he had inflicted on himself for being unable to fulfil his master's desires.

Tears welled to his eyes as he thought of the fleeting touches. That was all his master would give him nowadays. It was clear to him that his master didn't want him anymore and that therefore he had done something incredibly wrong. He had tried everything to revive his master's lust, but he was well aware that Sirius' small signs of affection were more of an obligation to him than anything else. Was he such a bad slave that after only a few weeks his master had grown tired of him? Merlin knew, he tried to please Sirius, but whenever he did his master pushed him away and told him that he shouldn't be doing something like this. But what other use did he have? He had attempted other ways to make Sirius feel comfortable and good, had massaged his feet, read out to him, given him a backrub, cooked dinner, sung to him and all in all tried to be entertaining and helpful, but his master didn't like that either and told him to stop. What good was he? He was a burden to his master, a nuisance, a responsibility he didn't want. Why didn't Sirius just get rid of him?

He was tempted to run back down the stairs and demand answers to those questions, but in the same moment he became aware that he wasn't free to do so. He felt a rush of resentment wash over him at the thought that his freedom had been stolen from him just to please the flimsy desire of a veela and that he was now to waste away. Rebellion rose in him. It wasn't his fault that Sirius didn't want to admit to himself that he wanted Harry, it wasn't his fault that he gave him mixed signals, it wasn't his fault that he didn't know how to punish himself.

Sharp, needle-like pain pierced his soul, made him crumble to his knees in a pathetic little heap. Harry's throat escapes a small whimper as he futily clawed at his chest in hopes of alleviating this pain, to let it out of his body. But it was no use and the needles in his heart and soul ignited with painful fire, searing deeper and deeper until they were but a cavernous entity with no other purpose than hurting him further. And it hurt, so much that it was hard to breathe. His vision blackened, there was a dull drumming in his ears and his fingertips as they glided over the tiled floor before once again scratching over his chest and arms. Nausea reared its ugly head as his stomach churned under so much pain, seemingly trying to twist away from the hot needles, and he hardly had enough strength in his arms to keep his head out of the vomit and bile that he heaved up.

_I'm sorry. _The raging pain inside his body didn't die down, but now he almost welcomed it because he knew that he deserved it, deserved to be punished for his disobedience and his short-lived rebellion. He loved Sirius, his master. He loved him with everything he had and he had no right to blame his shortcomings on this strong and beautiful mate. What good was freedom without his Sirius? He was aware of his weakness, he knew that he was dying, but as long as he lived he would do anything to make his master happy and his last breath, his last heart beat would belong to him. Sirius was his everything.

He gratefully succumbed to the darkness that seemed to take away some of the pain, almost soothingly caressing him like Sirius' fingers had once done when he had still been loved.

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_Review? Please?_


	28. Back In Your Arms

_Disclaimer: See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: This chapter is rather Snape-centred, but I hope you don't mind and I thought it fit in well. Furthermore, someone asked me, rather a long time ago, to clarify Sev's feelings for Harry so here you go... Anyway, I'm still stressed and I doubt it will get better in the foreseeable future so for now just know that I appreciate and am grateful for all your reviews and will answer them as soon as possible..._

_Beta: Blaithin-mae, thank you!_

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**28. BACK IN YOUR ARMS**

"Would you shut up already?" Severus sneered, freeing his arm from Remus' grasp. "I have nothing more to say to you and I would appreciate it if you would leave my chambers. You've overstayed your welcome, Lupin."

"Won't you at least listen to me?" Remus pleaded. "I want to explain it to you."

"What is there to explain?" the Potion's Master retorted. "You've chosen Black over me - once again."

"But he needs me now!"

"No, Remus, he will always need you." Severus stared hard at him. "Because Harry won't recover and you know that just as well. I'm not even angry at you, but I honestly don't know why you're here. Black always comes first, I realised that a long time ago but it took me this long to accept that it will never change. Why are you here, Remus? I don't know what you expect of me. Do you honestly think that I will just go back to being your shoulder to cry on when you are exhausted from consoling Black? I love you, Remus, I do, but I'm hurting as well and I have no strength left to share with you. Please, go."

"Sev, I'm so sorry," Remus whispered. "Please, I know that I've been a lousy boyfriend and I swear I'll change. Give me another chance. I've been insensitive and absolutely ignorant..."

"Inconsiderate, self-centred, burdensome, neglectful, thoughtless, unsympathetic, about as loving as the embrace of a troll?" Severus supplied helpfully and Remus nodded, ashamed.

"Please, Sev, you know that I love you, don't you? I love you more with every day and as right as you are with being angry at me and about everything else you said; it's not right that I've chosen Sirius over you. Not this time at least. I'm afraid to lose you like Sirius lost Harry. What would I do without you? I thought that if I could prove to myself that Sirius could still be happy with Harry, despite everything, that I wouldn't fear losing you so much."

"So you comforted Black because you wanted to prepare for leaving me," Severus snarled, and Remus wildly shook his head.

"Of course not. I don't know how to explain it better, Sev, but if it makes you forgive me, you can think anything of me, even that I've chosen Sirius over you because he's my best friend and because I was too blind to see that you were hurting as well, because that's true as well."

"I lost my best friend, wolf." Severus sighed. "I can hardly blame you for holding onto yours."

"It's no excuse for treating you so miserably," Remus argued, and Severus nodded.

"No, it's not, but I'll consider forgiving you nonetheless."

"Thank you." Remus smiled tentatively at the tall, black-haired man. "Please, come back with me. We have planned this holiday for so long and I don't want it to be ruined even more."

"I don't think that's such a good idea..."

"Please, Sev, I'll be there for you now. We can hide in our room or we can go out or... We'll do whatever you want," Remus tried to convince him.

"And if I want to stay here?"

"Do you?"

"No." the Potion's Master shook his head, and Remus gave a sigh of relief. "But that doesn't mean that I have forgiven you yet."

"Okay, I'll do anything to earn your forgiveness, Sev." He cautiously approached the other man, slinging his arms around under Severus' arms and then resting his hands on the sharp shoulder blades.

"You better do that, wolf."

"How come you called me by my first name earlier and now we are back to that less than flattering nickname?" Remus murmured into the slightly older man's ear, holding him in a tight embrace.

"Now is not the right time to start to get demanding, Lupin," Severus retorted.

"I was just wondering. It was nice hearing you say my name for once, though I never want to hear that hurt in your voice again," the werewolf whispered, gently caressing Severus' high cheek bone and trailing his fingers down to his jaw.

"Don't get sappy, wolf," Severus scoffed, freeing himself from the embrace. "I'm not in the mood to endure it."

"Harry loves you; don't blame him for Sirius' feelings, Sev," Remus stopped him once more.

Severus merely glared at him. "Are we going or what?"

Without waiting for an answer, he stepped over to the fireplace and threw some Floo Powder into the crate, disappearing through the green flames. Remus followed him quickly, not wanting Sirius and Severus to clash while he wasn't there. He had a feeling that their meeting wouldn't go over well and would hardly compel Severus to forgive him sooner.

To his surprise, Severus had just sat down in the armchair and started reading a book while Sirius was staring at the ceiling in brooding silence, obviously trying to think of a way to heal Harry, who was nowhere in sight. Remus made to join Severus, but the tall man sent him a scolding look. He was sure that this look was normally reserved for insolent students and that it was now bestowed on him made it quite clear that Severus wanted his space.

With a sigh, he lowered himself on the sofa next to the Dog Animagus and took up a book of his own. He wasn't sure if he should dare to ask where Harry had disappeared to. He really didn't want to upset Severus once more, and Sirius seemed to be relatively relaxed as well and so he just focused on his book. Most likely, Sirius had merely told Harry to go to sleep and that was what the submissive elf was doing.

"I'm going to start dinner," he finally said more than an hour later, softly putting down his book and getting up. "Any preferences?"

He looked over at Severus, who took his sweet time in acknowledging his glance. "How about lasagne?"

"Okay." Remus smiled at him, the little fact that this was Harry's favourite not Severus' not escaping his attention and he decided to make tiramisu for dessert to make up for it.

"I'm going to take a shower," Severus interrupted his train of thought and followed his example, putting his book down on the desk as he passed it on his way upstairs.

"Harry is on the toilet," Sirius mumbled still engrossed in the pattern of the ceiling and his own mind.

"What do you mean, Sirius? When did Harry go to the toilet?" Remus asked, not sure why he was so alarmed about this; Sirius had lost track of time, that was all.

Sirius shrugged. "After you left."

"That was almost three hours ago!" Severus exclaimed, finally startling Sirius out of his stupor, who snapped his head around to stare at the other black-haired wizard.

"Oh, sweet Merlin!"

Sirius jumped up and rushed past Severus, trying in vain to follow the weak connection to Harry. But there was just nothing, not even the feeble little tingling that had up until then reminded him of Harry. He sniffed and the scent that permeated his nostrils made his heart go cold with fear. Blood. It was a wonder Remus hadn't smelled it much sooner, but behind him he could now hear another sharp intake of breath, and he knew that Remus felt the same dread.

Instinctively he ran to the bathroom, knowing that Harry wouldn't lie to him, and pushed the door open so that it hit Harry's limp form on the floor. The elf didn't even wince or groan at the contact, and Sirius hastily squeezed into the tiled room and dropped to his knees next to Harry, gathering him in his arms.

"Harry, Harry? Please, wake up, please. Please, don't be dead, I can't live without you," he whispered pleadingly. "You can't be dead, loveling, you just can't. I forbid you."

"Remus, get me my potions bag, it should be next to the bed," Severus said after a brief look at them and also moved into the bathroom, grasping Harry's wrist as he crouched down. "He still has a pulse, though it's very low and obscure," he murmured more to himself than to Sirius since the Animagus clearly wasn't in any state to listen to him.

Not for the first time in these last few weeks, he pitied him. Sirius was suffering the most, that much was clear and understandable, and though the other man always denied the possibility of Harry not returning to normal, ignored anything that pointed to the contrary, Severus knew that deep down he was already grieving for his lost love and his lost hope. Severus couldn't find it in him to blame or belittle him for it.

Remus returned with his bag, but it was hard to decide which potion would help the small black-haired boy. There were shallow scratches all along his arms, his throat and his face, but what concerned him the most was the heat that had built up underneath the almost transparent skin in the frail body. Harry was burning up and he still hadn't regained consciousness despite Sirius' pitiful pleas.

He uncorked a vial with a strong Fever Reducer, the vibrant green colour reminding him too much of Harry's eyes, and tried his best to pry Harry's face away from Sirius' chest as gently as possible. Sirius' arms only tightened as if he was afraid he would lose Harry if he let go, as if he could trap Harry's soul by keeping a strong hold of his body. Severus all but groaned in frustration, but thankfully Remus intervened and with soft words, he made Sirius understand that Harry needed to take that potion.

The veela finally looked up, his eyes blood-shot and red-rimmed, and expectantly held out his hand for the potion. He then carefully dribbled it into Harry's slightly open mouth and massaged his throat to compel him to swallow, still muttering his urgent prayers for Harry to make it out alive and his incessant promises of what he would do if he did. None of it showed any effect.

Harry didn't wake and though the scratches healed quickly with one of Severus' salves, his fever only rose, his skin radiating with a dry heat, like a man in the dessert, dying of thirst. Neither Severus' potions nor the wet, cool cloth with which Remus dabbed his forehead nor Sirius' words worked. Life seemed to seep out of Harry to the same extend as the heat increased. Except for his cheeks that had turned a sickly bright red, his skin was drained of colour, making him look like a dead body with too much rouge on his cheeks.

His breathing was shallow and was becoming shallower with every minute. Sirius' pleas became more insistent and louder because he didn't want to hear it when - **if** Harry stopped breathing completely.

Remus' hands shook as he once again wiped Harry's brow and the sunken cheeks. When had Harry become so thin? He wasn't used to his body's weakness. The last time his hands had trembled so much had been when Dumbledore had come to inform him of Lily's and James' death and Sirius' arrestment and even then he hadn't felt this faint.

Severus scowled at his fragile-looking friend, if he could still call Harry that, and at the same time fought the tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks, just as unchecked as Sirius'. He didn't know how to handle this, for a moment feeling the need to gnaw his fingernails like he had done as a little child. The second it took him to overcome this urge was enough for one single tear to roll down his cheek.

For so long, he had loved Harry, had been in love with Harry and fervently cursed Black's mere existence. Even when he had started to go out with Remus, it had been because of Harry, to prove to him that he was no complete social failure and that it could be enjoyable to go on a date with him.

Gradually, his feelings had changed and he had realised that he would never be enough for Harry, that he could never take control over their relationship as completely as Harry required. But he had still wished that he could have Black's strength and disposition to be dominant, protective and always in charge, simply because he thought that Harry would be in much better hands with him.

When Harry had disappeared without leaving a trace, Severus had been almost as contrite as Black - contrite and victorious because Harry had left Black just as he had left Severus himself. And he still had Remus.

For his relationship with the werewolf, Harry's absence had been a blessing. Subconsciously, he had always known that Remus was much more perfect for him than Harry could ever be, but in direct comparison he had had to fail. Remus didn't have Harry's elfish beauty, his sense of humour or his innocence. No, in a way, Remus was just as tainted and damaged as Severus himself, his sense of humour was a reminder of the many jokes at his expense and with his prematurely grey hair, the scars and the deep lines fatigue and pain had drawn on his face, he was anything but beautiful.

But Severus had learned to appreciate other things about the werewolf. Remus didn't mind spending an entire day reading, didn't mind silence and when Severus wanted to discuss something, even if it was potions, Remus would listen attentively and then offer his own opinion. If Remus knew nothing about a certain subject, Severus could still be sure that the very next day, he would have read up on it to help and understand his partner. Remus was always soft-spoken, calm and hardly lost his temper. No matter how great their differences might be, Remus would always listen politely to his point of view and then work on dismantling Severus' arguments with his own. Remus never insulted or belittled Severus, never returned Severus' sneers or spiteful comments and even managed to slip compliments into their quarrels as if he knew that beneath the cover of acidity and indifference, Severus hid his insecurity and low self-esteem. Severus wouldn't put it past Remus that he really knew. He appreciated Remus' intellect and his calm, but most of all he appreciated Remus strong arms wrapped around him, holding him close as they drifted off to sleep and still slung around him in the morning when he woke up.

Severus would always tell the werewolf that he was too clingy and tried to squeeze Severus in his sleep, but, though he would never admit it to himself or Remus, he liked the feeling of being protected, cherished, of just letting himself fall and knowing that Remus would catch him. He could never have that with Harry.

When Harry had returned from the past, he had feared that his feelings would reawaken and destroy what he had with Remus, but as it turned out his concern had been unfounded. Harry was still beautiful and funny and innocent, but after Severus had seen him so long as Harry Potter, as the bane of his very existence, and had sought to reveal every bad character trait, it was almost impossible to see him as Harry Parker, the boy he had once loved. Besides, Harry was still that, a boy, and Severus was not, mostly grateful to leave that part of his life far behind.

But Harry was still his friend, a person he trusted explicitly and the only one he would allow to call him 'cute' without murdering them on the spot. If he had any hope that his words would count even remotely as much as Sirius', he would have joined it. His eyes widened as he unexpectedly thought to have found the reason for Harry's sudden illness.

"Shut up, Black," he shouted frantically, grabbing his shoulder as if to draw him away from Harry; Sirius glared at him, fury briefly replacing the all-consuming worry in his eyes, and a sharp retort formed on his lips which Severus cut short. "Take back any order you ever gave Harry! When Lucius and Draco fought over Harry and gave him contradicting orders he passed out. You must have done the same; he's in this state because he's disobeying you and feels like he has to punish himself. Trust me, Black, you have nothing to lose, do you?"

"Like a house-elf," Sirius murmured before he once again turned back to Harry and whispered in his ear. "I take back all my orders, Harry. You can forget them. You aren't disobeying me and you don't need to punish yourself. I love you so much, tiny, so much. You don't have to be nice to Snape and you don't have to stay dressed and you don't have to eat if you don't want to. Whatever I told you to do, I take it back, you can do whatever feels right to you. Please."

He trailed off, not sure if he could keep himself from telling Harry to get better if he continued. Instead he started to rock the small elf in his arms and held him as close as possible. He didn't know what he had said to make Harry go into this state, he wasn't aware of any contradicting orders, but his thoughts were so jumbled with hope and grief that he couldn't think straight anyway.

"Should we take him to St. Mungo's?" Remus suggested, looking at his lover, but Severus shook his head.

"I doubt that they can do much more for him there than we can do here, and the potions they give their patients leave a lot to be desired. What Harry needs now is Black and not some apprentice healer with a lot of theories crammed into his peanut brain and the desire to become famous with going new ways."

Sirius didn't even look up at his little tirade and Remus just gave him a tired nod before tentatively putting an arm around the Potion's Master, wanting to lend him a bit of comfort even though he knew that Severus wouldn't allow himself to break down now.

Severus' hand was still clasped around Harry's thin wrist, his thumb pressed against his pulse point. As he slumped a little against the werewolf, closing his eyes, he concentrated completely on the faint throbbing of Harry's blood.

"It's getting stronger," he said more than half an hour later and was startled to hear how hoarse his voice had become.

"What?" Sirius croaked, and Severus sneered at him.

"His pulse, his pulse is getting stronger. Do you want me to explain to you what that means, dunderhead?"

"Really?" Sirius asked hopefully, not reacting to his tone or the insult, and gently drew back from Harry looking into his flushed face. "What about the fever? Is it going down as well?"

"I hope so," Severus returned with a sigh. "He doesn't feel as hot to the touch as earlier, but I didn't take his temperature then. You should try to make him drink something."

"I'll go make some tea," Remus offered, and Sirius smiled gratefully at him before once more burrowing his face in Harry's raven locks.

"Make some elderflower or peppermint tea," Severus told him. "That will help with the fever."

Remus nodded and left the room, leaving the three black-haired wizards alone. Severus heaved a deep sigh, undecided what he should do now. Sirius had once again taken to whispering loving nothings into Harry's ear, patting his hair and rubbing his back. Severus felt kind of superfluous and briefly considered following Remus down to the kitchen, but then decided against it. He was somewhat afraid what Sirius would do if he wasn't there.

"I'll get some blankets. If we are to stay here, we might at least be comfortable," he stated. "Unless, of course, you would do the sensible thing and move Harry to one of the bedrooms."

At first Sirius didn't seem to hear him, but then he looked up at him. "I'm afraid that if I let him go for even just a second that he will disappear and be lost forever."

"I hope you know that this is completely unreasonable." Severus sneered, stunned at the open confession.

"Of course I do, Snape." Sirius sighed. "But I have failed Harry too often and lost so much already... I'm sorry that my... strong dislike for you got in the way of your friendship with Harry, Snape. I didn't mean for this to happen, for any of this."

"Do you regret doing it?"

"Sometimes," Sirius whispered. "But then I think of what would have happened if I hadn't done it. At least, I could protect him from Voldemort."

"He vanished him, all the Death Eaters got captured," Severus added, and Sirius nodded jerkily.

"I guess it was the right thing to do and Harry wanted it; if he had known what would result from it, I think he would still have wanted me to do it only to save everyone else," the grey-eyed man answered. "I try to remember that, but the only one **I** ever wanted to save was Harry and I failed terribly at that..."

Severus kept silent, and Sirius once again hid his face in Harry's hair. After a while, Severus remembered about the blankets and got up, returning at the same time as Remus, who carried a tray with four cups and a pot of elderflower tea.

The werewolf poured them all a cup, and Sirius carefully instilled Harry with the hot beverage, ignoring his own tea in favour of rocking Harry. Remus draped a heavy blanket over his shoulders and wrapped another one around Harry. He then moved back to embrace the Potion's Master, who had sat down on another blanket and was leaning against the bath tub, looking out of the window and watching the light of the day slowly fade into darkness.

"I'm sorry," a weak whisper broke the silence that had settled over the room. "I'm sorry."

"Harry," Sirius exclaimed, relief obvious in his voice. "Shh, love, shh, it's okay now, everything is going to be okay. I have you."

"I was really bad." Harry sobbed, clinging to the veela. "I'm so sorry, Master. I'm so sorry, please forgive me."

"You weren't bad, Harry, you're much too perfect for me, and I'll never let you go. Can you calm down for me?" Sirius pleaded, littering kisses over Harry's face. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"Was bad, disobeyed you, had really bad thoughts." Harry sniffed, trembling violently.

"It's okay, beautiful, I'm not angry. How are you feeling? Are you in any pain? Can I do anything for you?" Sirius soothed him.

"Bad, hurts, hurts so much, Master."

"Where does it hurt, love?" Sirius asked in alarm. "Please talk to me."

"Here," Harry grasped his hand and pressed it to his chest, "I'm sorry, Master. I didn't mean to be so bad, I wanted to be good and make you happy and I have only caused you pain, because I'm so egoistic."

"Why do you think you were bad, Harry, my sweet?" Sirius kissed his temple soothingly. "You did everything I asked of you, even more. You made me happy."

"But I don't anymore!" Harry shouted through his tears. "You're sad and depressed and disgusted by me and whatever I do, I can't do anything right, because you hate me now."

"I don't hate you, Harry," the veela stressed every word. "Do you remember how I tried to explain to you why I don't want you to pleasure me? I love you, but I fell in love with a different Harry, and it's hard to get used to the new you."

"I tried to be the Harry you want and I tried to go back to the way I used to be, but I don't remember and so you're disappointed and it hurts."

"Don't think that, Harry." Sirius combed his fingers through the black tresses. "I'm sorry that I hurt you. Please, tell me what I did wrong. Which order conflicted with another?"

"I... don't know. You told me to forget. I'm sorry, Master."

"Not your fault, tiny, I just would have liked to know so that I can avoid it in the future," Sirius returned softly. "I was really scared; I thought I had lost you."

"I belong to you, Master," Harry answered, and Sirius' heart clenched in an all too familiar way.

"And I belong to you, love." He sighed. "Let's get up off the floor, yes? You should be resting a bit longer. You had a very high fever."

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered. "It won't happen again."

"You can't help it if you fall ill, gorgeous," Sirius murmured, tenderly capturing his lips. "Can you walk, Harry, or would you like me to carry you?"

Harry made a valiant attempt to stand, but his legs gave out under him, and only Sirius' arms kept him from crashing to the floor. "I don't think I can walk, Master."

"That's alright," Sirius assured him, scooping him up in his arms. "Goodnight, Remus, Snape. Thanks for being there for us. I really appreciate it."

"No problem, Black, call us if you need anything or if Harry gets worse," Severus muttered lowly, turning to go.

"Goodnight, Remus." Harry smiled at the werewolf over Sirius' shoulder, and the Potion's Master mentally prepared to be ignored or insulted as Harry turned to him. "Goodnight, Severus."

Against his will, Severus' face split into a huge smile, and he felt the pricking of tears in his eyes. Maybe all was not lost.

* * *

_Reviews: Yes, please!_


	29. All Is Not Lost

_Disclaimer: Not mine. See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: I'm sorry about the superlong wait and also about the rather short chapter, but the first is due to stress and the second to my muse. So, I guess, you'll just have to forgive me and move on :-P._

_Beta: TheElementalMaster, thank you. And I hope you feel better soon._

* * *

**29. ALL IS NOT LOST**

The situation improved at least marginally after that incident. Sirius did his best to neither give Harry orders nor neglect him like he had done before. He also refrained from telling Harry to stop calling him master and when Harry acted on his inner desire, he just gently took him in his arms, kissed him softly and tried to ignore both his own arousal and Harry's mostly naked state. He was getting better at it, too.

Nonetheless, he couldn't shake of the feeling that something was still terribly wrong, and whenever Harry left his sight for more than a minute, he always feared that he would once again find him dying or already dead.

Severus and Remus had also worked past their problems, and since Harry had stopped being nasty to the Potion's Master, even though he wasn't particularly warm with him either, the whole atmosphere had relaxed a little.

They were once again sitting in the living room, Sirius and Harry sharing the armchair, while Remus and Severus sat next to each other on the sofa, reading and from time to time, sharing inconspicuous caresses and chaste kisses that Severus stopped before they could become more than quick pecks of the lips. Sirius was reading another book about bonds and mates and creatures, and it was giving him a headache. Why did all those books have to say exactly the same thing? Why couldn't there be some mentioning of an exception? All he needed was a tiny bit of hope. Was that too much to ask for?

Just before he could follow through with his plan to throw the depressing book against the wall, having resigned himself to the fact that not even Harry's slender fingers massaging his temples were helping anymore, the fireplace to his right flared to life and spat out three figures, one with bushy brown, the second with flaming red and the last with wavy light brown hair. They had barely stepped away from the fireplace when a third and fourth figure, both with long blond hair, followed them.

"I didn't know we were expecting guests." Severus sneered, briefly looking up at Remus with something akin to reproach in his eyes.

"I'm just as surprised as you," Remus murmured before he addressed the newcomers, "To what do we owe - "

But he was interrupted by Hermione, who carried a heavy tome in her arms, "We found a solution! At least we think so, Sirius. Mr. Malfoy was so kind to give us all access to his library. There're so many books I had never even heard of and others that are almost impossible to find. It's really impressive and - " Ron pointedly cleared his throat, startling Hermione out of her awed laudation. " - and it took us quite a while to find this one, but I think it could really work and Sébastien agrees with me and..."

"Okay, Hermione, take a deep breath, sit down and then you can all explain your idea to us," Remus stopped her gently, while Sirius' hands tightened around the armrest of his seat. "Maybe you should tell Harry to sleep, Sirius, so that you don't cause him any distress."

"Master...?" Harry looked at him pleadingly.

"Harry, I would really like you to sleep, okay?" Sirius kissed him tenderly. "I think I'll be able to concentrate better if I'm not distracted by your beauty. Sleep, please."

"Yes, Master," Harry whispered before he closed his eyes, his head resting against Sirius chest as his breathing evened, and he drifted off to sleep.

"So, would one of you kindly fill me in?" Sirius turned expected eyes on the newcomers, after he made sure that Harry was comfortable in the armchair even without using Sirius as his pillow.

"Sirius, come take a seat and calm down," Remus ordered him, but his only reply was a ferocious glare.

"Well, I was reading that one book about bonds and the different kinds there are and at least once in every chapter it was mentioned that bonds can't be broken, which was kind of annoying and redundant and isn't really a sign of a good book, if you ask me..." Hermione started.

"**I know that**," Sirius snapped at her. "And I'm sick of being reminded of it so if you merely wanted to tell me once more and ruin our Christmas, you can go right now because I really have no mind for that anymore..."

"Sirius." Sébastien put a calming hand on his shoulder. "Listen to us. Bonds can not be broken, but they can be overridden by a new bond."

"I tried that," Sirius pressed out, and it was clear that what little hope he had had since their arrival had died. "Don't you think I fucking tried that?!"

"You can't negate the effects of the Master-Slave-Bond with another bond that is established through sexual intercourse," Hermione explained to him, putting the book down on the table and sounding very much like she expected Sirius to have known that already. "The bond you share is a wizard's bond, but since you're a veela, you can use one of the bonds described in this book to replace the one you already share. There're three kinds of veela bonds and one elven bond, though I'm not sure that would work since Harry isn't really... responsive right now and we have practically no idea what effect this has on his magic."

Sirius just stared at her in shock before he shakily reached out to the book. "And you think that this could really work?"

"It sounds like a good idea to me," Severus offered. "Even if Harry doesn't recover completely and never returns to the way he was before, it might help him at least a little."

"Of course, there is still a risk, Sirius," Narcissa said softly, taking her husband's hand in hers. "There is no telling what might happen and there is also a chance that Harry will not survive another bond."

"He is dying already," Sirius whispered, biting back tears. "Dying on the inside. I can feel it, there's less and less life in him with every day, less and less love for me."

"What are you talking about, Black?" Severus sneered. "He's absolutely devoted to you."

"House-elves," Sirius said with self-loathing and Harry stirred, his brow furrowing in his sleep. "I'm talking about house-elves, I'm talking about Harry. He can barely levitate his toothbrush anymore! He doesn't remember most of what he learned in school because it's not essential to **pleasing** me. He feels what I feel, what I want him to feel. He loved me once and I'm sure he still loves me, but it's fake and vile and painful." He carefully kneeled down in front of Harry, brushing a strand of black hair out of his face. "I have to try it."

"I hoped that you would say that," Hermione stated, extracting a role of parchment from her robe pocket. "We did some more research on the different bonds that are available to you. There's a Parent-Child Bond every veela forms with their children and which grows throughout their life, unless something happens to jeopardise their relationship." She cast a furtive look at the two Malfoys, who looked unaffected safe for the tightening of Lucius' fist and Narcissa' sharp intake of breath. "The second is a Friendship Bond, which works over the transfer of blood. You can still consider one of those if the other one doesn't work."

"Fine." Sirius tapped his fingers impatiently, "Hermione, would you come to the point?"

Ron snorted. "Not a chance, man. Merlin knows, I've tried to make her shorten her lectures more than once. But when she's in this state..."

Hermione glared at him. "That's because you only ever listen to every second word I say so that I have to say everything at least twice to make sure you understand."

"Instinct of self-preservation," Ron bit out. "No one can listen to you twenty-four/seven without going bonkers. Even Harry - "

"Ah, Harry, isn't he the reason we're here?" Sébastien thought it best to interrupt before their quarrel could escalate even more. "Sirius, the bond we think is best is this one." He leaved through the book and pointed at a chapter titled _Veela Marriage_. "The vast advantage of this one is that it is not established through any form of sexual intercourse or physical contact, but of course that also makes it less practical and used. To be honest, it's not exactly legal, either."

"Bugger legality," Sirius growled, and Remus sent him a disapproving glance, before he leaned closer to get a better look at the book.

"That's what we thought as well," Lucius spoke up. "I am certain that the Ministry will be willing to bend some rules in this case and if not..." he trailed off menacingly.

Sirius gave a jerky nod, his eyes darting over the page, taking in the information, which wasn't all that easy as it was written in archaic English and some of the letters had faded with time.

"It doesn't say what effects it will have on Harry," Sirius finally said, looking up at them.

"That's in a different, not very elaborate section." Hermione scowled. "But that's to be expected since the book was written by a dominant. He says that submissives will generally be more affected by the described bonds. I researched it a little and didn't find anything that would indicate the possibility of any negative effects on Harry."

"And what are the positive effects?" Sirius asked quietly.

"The bond will bind you mind and soul," Sébastien answered. "It will intertwine your magic and since it's your magic that is binding Harry right now, there's a very good chance that this new bond will completely dissolve the Master-Slave-Bond. You'll still have access to Harry's magic, and he won't be able to disobey a direct command from you, but he'll have his own feelings again. Basically, you'll have all control over him, but you'll be able to choose whether or not you want to enact it."

"How is it established?" Remus asked.

"It's a lot like a marriage," Sébastien replied. "The only reason, well, the only two reasons why it is considered slightly illegal, is that it requires the exchange of a small part of your magic through your blood. The Ministry isn't too fond of the idea of creating hybrids, though of course that won't happen. It's merely symbolic."

"What's the other reason?" Sirius asked, though he sounded more eager than truly wary.

"Well, you see, you'll have to die," Sébastien offered nervously.

"What?! Are you kidding me? I sure hope you are kidding me!" Sirius exclaimed, jumping up, asking himself how he could have missed that interesting detail. "Are you telling me that the only why I can have my Harry back is to kill him?!"

"Of course not!" Hermione looked affronted. "As the ritual is supposed to bond your minds and souls, it'll be easiest to do so if you're detached from your bodies. The priest who'll conduct the ritual will make sure that your ghosts won't be able to ascend and will return safely to your bodies once you are bonded."

"And how do you suppose we die?" Sirius retorted sarcastically. "I bet someone here would just love to ram a dagger through my heart." He briefly glared at Severus, who rolled his eyes at the blatant accusation.

"Well, I would suggest a potion." Severus sneered. "A variation of the Draught of the Living Death, one that allows your ghosts to wander while you're asleep."

"You're really serious about this?" Sirius asked incredulously, glaring at the weak smile that played about Remus' lips. "Don't you dare drag my name into this and make that stupid old joke, because I really have no mind for that right now."

"I think you should consider it," Remus murmured soothingly. "Of course it's a risk, but it's about the only chance we still have. Look at Harry, Paddy, you said yourself that he isn't doing well. I can understand if you don't want to do this, but at least think about it before you dismiss the idea, okay?"

"What are you talking about, wolf?" Severus snapped at him. "It's **not** okay. I had to listen to Black's constant declarations about how he would do anything for Harry and that none of us has an inkling of an idea how much he loves him, that he would take all his pains and would die for him and now you tell him, it's okay to back out when it's getting serious? Where is your stupid Gryffindor courage and loyalty that you pride yourself on now, hm? You're pathetic, Black. A pathetic, lying coward. I wouldn't hesitate - "

"Severus, please, you aren't really helping matters," Remus tried to appease him, but the Potion's Master just glared at him before sweeping from the room.

"I'm going to make that potion in case Black should find his grit under all that egoism."

Sirius' eyes followed the Potion's Master, but he didn't voice the sharp retort he had in mind. Snape just didn't understand him, he didn't understand how afraid he was that this would harm Harry even more and he couldn't understand how much he loved Harry because Snape was a neutral and not a veela or an elf or even a werewolf. His feelings weren't as intense and so he couldn't possibly understand why he wasn't jumping at the chance. Was it a chance? He wasn't so sure, but if he was honest with himself he wasn't sure about anything anymore. Maybe Snape was right and it was cowardly to hesitate in such a situation, but on the other hand, he thought that it was rather comprehensible to be afraid of death.

He had hesitated, but not any longer. No, Harry needed him and he needed Harry and whether in life or in death they would be together, and Harry would be happy again.

He carefully bent and scooped up the light boy, cradling him in his arms. Harry had become so frail and his face that had once looked like the face of a china doll, now held dark circles on papery white skin. Small beads of sweat covered the creased forehead. No, this was not a life.

"Can Dumbledore bond us?" he asked, and Lucius nodded. "I'll get him to Hogwarts then. I don't think we have much time to spare."

"We already made all the necessary arrangements, Sirius." Narcissa smiled at him, and even though her smile was a bit strained it was genuine enough, and Sirius was suddenly reminded that she was his cousin and that she, unlike the rest of their family, had never shown hate or even just dislike for him; it was a comforting thought.

"I'll best bring Severus this recipe," Lucius stated. "Though he will most likely scoff at it."

"When can we do it?" Sirius asked, trying to conceal his nervous apprehension.

"This evening," Sébastien told him, offering him the box with the Floo powder, and moved to brush a strand of hair out of Harry's pale face.

Sirius growled at him, spinning around and hiding Harry against his chest. The siren looked surprised for a moment, but then smiled understandingly at him and took a step back, giving Sirius more room. The stormy grey eyes just kept glaring at him as Sirius stepped backwards into the fireplace as if he didn't trust him to not pull something while his back was turned. The green flames flared up once more and swallowed the two of them.

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_So, there you go. Finally, more than just a glimmer of hope. That's a real lightbulb, isn't it?  
Well, what do you think. Don't leave me in suspense!_


	30. Till Death Do Us Part

_Disclaimer: See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: Surprise! I thought I'd update today since I don't know when I'll have a bit of time again. Hope you don't mind ;-)_

_Beta: TheElementalMaster, thank you!_

* * *

**30. TILL DEATH DO US PART**

An eerie calm had appropriated Sirius as he stood watching the last preparations for the ritual that would hopefully bring back the Harry he knew. He was in a state of mind where he had resigned himself to every possible outcome of this. The best-case scenario was of course that this new bond would completely negate the old one and though everyone else seemed cautiously optimistic, Sirius didn't dare to hope because there were still two other possibilities. Either, nothing would happen and Sirius wasn't sure if that wasn't even worse than if they died, which was the third and very probable option. The theory sounded simple enough, just detach their souls from their bodies so that they could be bonded more closely, but if Sirius had learned anything from his father, it was that you really shouldn't tamper with death because it was the one opponent that always won in the end.

His eyes clouded over a bit, and the shadows around him became darker as he remembered his early childhood when his father had still been proud of him and had told him stories of his family and the wizarding world. He thought he must have been happy then, growing up in a world full of magic and with strict but nonetheless loving parents, in a house that, albeit a bit dark, held so many secrets that you could go exploring every day and still find something new. He certainly had had everything he could wish for, more than any average teenager. Regulus had been his best friend then, and he had loved to tell him stories, show him secrets and teach him new things. How often had they got into trouble? And how often had Sirius taken the blame so that his brother wouldn't discover the crueller side to his parents, the side that was so well hidden under pleasantries and generosity, the side they never showed in public, the side he silently feared? Maybe his brother wouldn't have been so eager to replace him if he had experienced and seen some of what Sirius had. Maybe he wouldn't have joined the Death Eaters and tried to back out when he realised what serving Lord Voldemort really implied.

He shook his head to rid himself of these thoughts that would amount to nothing. His parents were dead, Voldemort was dead and his brother was dead as well, which brought him back to the topic at hand. Death had won, and he was rather skeptical of the idea to just die for a little while and then come back to life. It sounded ludicrous. _Amor vincit omnia._ Love conquers all. Well, he would soon find out if love also conquered death and, what was even more important, if love could conquer that thrice-damned bond.

"Sirius," Remus called softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It's time."

The shadow veela nodded and squared his shoulders before he stepped into the circle on the floor that had been drawn with chalk. Runes of love and protection ran around it in regular intervals, both to give the ritual more strength and to confine their ghosts to their bodies. Harry was still asleep, which was all right with Sirius. He didn't have the energy to wake him and explain what was going on, though that would probably be the sensible thing to do.

Two potion vials and a small silver dagger had been placed inside the circle. His hand shook as he reached for one of the potions to give to Harry, who had been dressed in simple white robes to symbolise him being the submissive and lay on his back, his hands folded over his chest. The way that the bodies of dead people were arranged when they were placed in their coffins for their final rest. Sirius shuddered. He placed a chaste, tender kiss on Harry's soft lips and then uncorked the vial, setting it down once more. His fingers wrapped tightly around the dagger. With a determined exhale of breath, he quickly slashed it across his palm, clenching his injured hand into a fist to hold it over the open vial so that a few deep red drops fell into the potion. The veela closed the small bottle once more and gently shook it The once crystal potion took a soft rose colour as it mixed with his blood. Sirius quickly poured it down Harry's throat before he could think anymore of it.

A bit more reluctantly, he reached for Harry's pale hand and, after brushing an apologetic kiss over his knuckles, made a shallow cut on his palm, allowing two drops to roll into the second vial. The grey-eyed wizard stretched out on the ground next to Harry, almost hastily downing his potion and closing his eyes. The potion would take effect in a few minutes and would last for about an hour, giving them enough time to complete the ritual. He carefully reached over and took Harry's hand in his so that their blood mingled, but barely touching so as not to imprison it in any way, not wanting to repeat past mistakes.

He was vaguely aware of the people standing around them and the scent of incense that permeated his nostrils. Fatigue crashed down on him and soon he couldn't have opened his eyelids even if he had wanted to. His limbs felt heavy like lead, but his body seemed weightless. He wondered when the part with his whole life flashing in front of his eyes would come, but as he tried to think of something he would like to see, he couldn't think of much. Azkaban had stolen and tainted most of his happy memories and they were only just starting to come back. Harry. He wanted to think of Harry. The Harry who had been so alive and cheerful and loving, his Harry, not this corpse. In a way, he was curious how dying would feel like and he smiled a little. He had always been curious.

At first, Sirius didn't notice when his heartbeat slowed to a stop, when he didn't seem to be able to breathe anymore and for some reason, still felt alive. But then he opened his eyes again and found to his surprise that he wasn't lying on the floor anymore, but was hovering in an upright position. He looked down at himself with interest, not sure what to expect. His form was pearly-white and transparent so that he could look right through his hand as he held it in front of his face. He hovered several inches above his now dead body and noted happily that he didn't look all that dead.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and his ghostly head snapped up, coming face to face with Harry's spirit that floated in midair opposite of him, his eyes still closed.

"Harry?" he questioned, gently reaching for Harry's transparent hand, but the other's eyes didn't open. "What's wrong with him?"

"The bond put his soul to sleep," Dumbledore answered his desperate gaze. "I had already feared something like that. Do you see the rays of light that are wrapped around Harry and seem to lead to you?" Sirius nodded, brushing his free hand through one of them. "It's your magic that holds him captive. Are you ready to commence?"

Sirius gave a jerky nod, trying to remember what he had to do, which wasn't much anyway. Dumbledore must have sensed his trepidation and confusion and sent him one of his beaming, twinkly-eyed smiles that were as annoying as they were reassuring. How could anything go wrong if Dumbledore could still smile like this?

"Take his hands in yours," Dumbledore instructed him, while Remus and Lucius lit five candles and placed them between the runes, activating them, so that a force field of golden light appeared and trapped the two ghosts.

"Spirits from the other side," Dumbledore began to chant, raising his hands to the sky-like ceiling. "Bind their souls, bind their minds, from now on to the end of time. In shadow and light, these lovers unite, through night and day, their love shall never decay. Spirits from the other side, I call on thee, bind these two for eternity."

Dumbledore recited the incantation thrice more and Sirius could indistinctly make out the elaborate gestures he accompanied his words with through the force field, but halfway through the second repetition he started to feel vaguely lightheaded. His transparent hands held Harry's a little tighter because he had the not-quite-unreasonable fear that he needed something to hold onto so that he wouldn't ascend and fade completely.

Transparent wings burst from his back, accompanied by the happy, melodious chirping of birds, a sensual melody sung by female voices and the sound of wind rushing through soft feathers, beating against leathery wings, of crackling fire and the smooth silence of shadows and ice that danced around them both.

Suddenly Harry's eyes snapped open and though they weren't their usual emerald green they shone with an alertness and understanding that he hadn't seen in weeks. He felt hope soar in his chest. His mouth formed Harry's name without any sound escaping and a small smile seemed to play about Harry's lips. He squeezed the small hands in his and felt an answering squeeze, however weak it was.

Sirius tugged gently and Harry glided one step forward, moving into his arms and snuggling into his chest as the force field around them seemed to close in on them and wrap around them like a cloak, bringing them even closer together. From the runes around them more beams of light swirled up and enclosed them like ropes of magic, entwining their bodies.

Warmth spread from his heart into every part of his body, into his fingertips and his toes and a similar warmth came from Harry, warming him from the outside. Suddenly, he was keenly aware of not only his own heartbeat, but also of Harry's, softly thumping against his chest. Sirius had never thought that ghosts had heartbeats, but maybe it was a sign that the potion was gradually losing its effect and that they soon would return to life.

He closed his eyes again as he felt Harry's ghost disappearing from his arms as he drifted back into his body. Soon after, he felt how he was pulled back down as well. Harry's hand warmed in his and he gave it a tentative squeeze, before he turned his head to the side and looked at Harry. Green eyes slowly fluttered open.

"Harry," his voice sounded rough as he hastily sat up and leaned over his shivering mate. "How are you feeling, gorgeous?"

The small elf scrunched up his nose in thought and his forehead crinkled as he analysed how he felt. "Pretty crappy."

Sirius laughed softly at that, pulling Harry into his strong arms while relief flooded his veins.

"Why are you laughing?" Harry asked, hurt tinting his voice, and he tried to draw back, but Sirius wouldn't let go. "My head hurts, my throat is sore and I think I might throw up. I really don't see what you find so amusing."

"I'm just so relieved, Harry," Sirius choked out, pressing small kisses on the elf's slender neck. "I've got you back. I love you."

Harry relaxed at that, nuzzling into the older man. "I love you, too."

"Oh, Harry..."

"Are you sure that **you** are feeling alright?" Harry asked hesitantly, making another weak attempt to bring some distance between them.

"Don't you remember what happened?" Sirius asked desperately. "Please, I can't go through this once more. This just has to have worked. Try to remember, please."

Harry furrowed his forehead in thought before he suddenly scrambled back, whimpering softly.

"Harry!" several voices shouted at the same time, but Ron was the first at his side and wrapped his long arms around his best friend, glaring over his head at Sirius, who didn't dare approach them.

"Hey mate," Ron murmured, but then stopped since he didn't know what to say in such a situation, but thankfully Hermione was more eloquent and started to calm Harry down.

"Sev," Harry whispered, sounding desperate. "Sev."

"Professor Snape, sir," Hermione called, looking up at the tall man, "I think he's asking for you."

The Potion's Master was at their side in a matter of seconds and pulled Harry into his own arms, gently rubbing his back as the elf sobbed into his robes and muttered unintelligible things.

"Severus, I'm sorry, so sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sev..."

"Now calm yourself," he returned gruffly, carding his long fingers through Harry's thick black hair. "We can talk about this later, for now you need to calm down. I'm not angry with you. Can you answer a few questions for me?"

Harry nodded almost hastily, but only tightened his arms around his neck. For a moment, Severus was foolishly afraid that he would be choked to death, though he knew that Harry didn't have enough strength to accomplish such a feat.

"Do you remember what happened these last few weeks?" Harry nodded again. "Can you tell me?"

"Something went wrong with the bond," Harry whispered. "I couldn't... think clearly anymore. I was so mean to you and... Merlin, I..."

"You what, Harry?" Severus asked gently.

"Slut, acted like a total slut." Harry sobbed, clutching his robes. "Disgusting, vile. Didn't want me. Hurt so much..."

"Hush, Harry, it wasn't your fault," Severus assured him. "It was the bond and Black's influence. Harry, listen to me." He shook him by the shoulder before stressing every word, "**It was not your fault.**"

"But..."

"No, Harry, enough of this. It was not your fault and you should not have had to go through this," Severus said softly. "It's over now."

"Really?" Harry whispered. "But you'll never be able to forget what I did to you."

"No, and therefore I will be all the more grateful to have my friend back, Harry. That was not you, I know that and you should know that too," Severus explained to him, relieved and elated with having the slender youth in his arms, no sneers, no insults, no cold politeness, just Harry being annoyingly emotional and him having to play the shoulder to cry on. He sneered, but it lacked rancour.

"It's not Sirius' fault." Harry sniffed.

"I didn't say that..."

"Doesn't mean that you don't believe that," Harry argued weakly. "But it's not Sirius' fault."

"I know. Why don't you go over there and tell him? He looks rather dejected," Severus suggested mildly, controlling his own emotions, but Harry vehemently shook his head.

"No, no, I... can't."

"Why not?" Severus asked, surprised. "Why can't you?"

"Because I love Sirius, but I'm not sure why," Harry whispered finally after a long silence. "I just don't know anymore, Sev... What if it's another spell, another bond, another bout of forced feelings? I hated him, Severus, for one moment, I hated him, hated him so much that... How can I just go back to loving him after that? But I did and I loved him again and tried to please him, like nothing had ever happened because I didn't want the bond to hurt me again. I can't just love Sirius because I'm afraid of pain, that's just not right. This bond destroyed more than just our relationship, it destroyed me."

"Harry..."

"Just don't force me to go back to Sirius right now," Harry pleaded. "I need time to think over my feelings. Please."

"Do you want to stay with me for as long as it takes you to sort out everything?" Severus offered, and Harry nodded gratefully, not quite managing a smile.

"Will you tell Sirius that..."

"I'm sure he'll understand, Harry. He loves you enough to wait for you," the thin wizard forced himself to say. "I'll be right back, yes? Do not leave again."

Harry reluctantly let go of him, and Ron and Hermione once again took him in their arms, trying to soothe him, while Severus walked over to Sirius and Remus. The werewolf had put a comforting arm around the Animagus' shoulders.

"What did he say? Is he alright?" Sirius assailed him with questions, kneading his hands in distress. "Is there something wrong?"

"Calm down, Black, no need to get hysterical." Severus sneered, this time with enough rancour to compensate for the earlier absence of it. "He's just a bit confused and needs time to come to terms with everything that happened. He doesn't feel up to facing you right now. He needs time."

"What do you mean he doesn't feel up to facing me?" Sirius asked incredulously.

"I thought that was rather clear, but apparently you aren't able to appreciate it when someone tries to be gentle about breaking such news," the Potion's Master snapped. "He doesn't want to see you because he's afraid that you'll influence his feelings again and because he doesn't know what he should be feeling for you or any of us. Was that blunt enough for you?"

"But... other than that, other than being confused and hurt emotionally, he's alright, right?" Sirius finally asked, now gnawing his bottom lip.

"As far as I could tell he's back to normal, just, as I believe I said before, confused," the black-eyed wizard retorted, rolling his eyes. "I'll check him over later, but it seems like the ritual was a full success."

"So is he staying with you?" Sirius asked, looking not at all happy.

"Yes." Severus' eyes narrowed, and there was a hint of triumph in his voice. "He wants to stay with me."

Sirius growled. "If you try anything..."

"Like what?" Severus raised a sarcastic eyebrow.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about! You were after Harry even when we were still in school. You never were good at losing, though you sure had enough practise." The grey-eyed man glared at him. "You would jump at the first chance you got, wouldn't you? You wouldn't hesitate to take advantage of Harry."

"I don't care if you are hurt or depressed or not yourself, Black, but I swear that if you ever say something like that again I'll kill you in the most creative way I can come up with and if my creativity should fail me, I will make it as painful as possible." Severus grabbed the slightly smaller man by the collar, pressing him up against a wall and hissing through his teeth; he completely ignored Remus, who tried to appease him. "Yes, I had a crush on Harry, but I respected his decision when he told me that he wanted to give you a chance, which, in my opinion, you haven't earned nor used in the slightest. He's my friend, and I don't know if you have noticed as you're obviously so self-absorbed, but I'm together with your friend and your little jealous fit was not only grossly offensive to me, but also to Harry and Remus and you would do well to work on your attitude if you expect Harry to take you back, since he's wondering at the moment why the hell he ever loved you."

"Severus." Remus pried his hands away with gentle force, taking them into his own. "Are you okay, love?"

Severus scowled at him, freed his hands and turned his back on them. "I'll stay with Harry here in Hogwarts."

"Wait," Sirius stopped him, heaving a big sigh when Severus actually stopped, but then determinedly pressed on. "What I said was unfounded and I'm sorry for all the implications my words had, Snape. Please, take good care of him and tell him - "

"Merlin, why do all Gryffindors have to be emotional fools?" Severus groaned. "I already told him that you love him, but if it shuts you up, I'll tell him again."

Sirius watched him go, watched him as he gathered Harry in his arms, watched him as he carried his frail love out of the hall, watched as the door shut behind them. He wasn't sure what he was feeling or what he was supposed to feel. There were so many feelings waging war inside of him that he felt empty. Remus stayed with him and after everyone had said their good-byes and tried to get him to react with some well-meant phrases, the werewolf took him back to his cottage. He barely noticed any of it. All he could think of was that he hadn't planned their Christmas like that.

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_Please review?_


	31. One Week

_Disclaimer: Not mine. See first chapter._

_Author's Note: I'm sorry it took me so long to update, but have you ever tried to make sense of German taxation and financial reporting standards? Let me tell you, it's not fun. Anyway, loooong chapter, that should make you happy, shouldn't it? I hope you'll like it._

_Beta: TheElementalMaster, thank you!_

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**31. ONE WEEK**

Sirius woke the next morning, a Wednesday, feeling strangely refreshed and adventuresome. For a moment, he suspected that Remus had practised cheering charms on him, but then he found to his surprise that the werewolf was still sleeping due to the fact that it was only a few minutes past five.

Shrugging it off, he decided to take a shower, not feeling like lying in bed and being accused of moping. There was nothing to mope about, anyway, the bond had worked and he was sure that Harry still loved him. He had seen it in the way he had smiled at him, the way he had melted into his touch, the way his eyes had lit up. He was finished with all the depressive thoughts and doubts. It was time to be optimistic.

While the warm water pounded over his back, relaxing his muscles, he thought about what he should do while he waited since sitting at home seemed little appealing to him. Besides, he had things to do so that he wouldn't be distracted when he got Harry back. First of all, he needed a job, or more like he wanted a job because with all the money he had inherited he really didn't have to work, but he had spend enough time in Azkaban doing nothing and if he was honest with himself, he liked the thought of earning a living for Harry and himself. He needed a place to live, somewhere to call home. He needed to settle all the legal business that was still outstanding. There were certainly still more things to do, but he would think of that later, maybe after he had made breakfast. For now, those three major tasks seemed like a good start.

He got dressed in comfortable slacks, chose a burgundy red button-up shirt and put out formal robes, in case that he should find a promising job offer in today's Daily Prophet. Sirius then went down to the kitchen and started to make scrambled eggs and bacon, the only food he could more or less cook. Just as he was putting the product of his cooking - slightly more brown than he had intended, but all in all still edible - on a plate, a Remus with mussed hair and still in his bath robe came stumbling through the door, looking up at him through bleary eyes.

"Sirius..." Remus mumbled, staring at him. "You look good."

"Why, thank you, I haven't heard that in a while." Sirius grinned at him, "Eggs?"

"Eggs?" the werewolf echoed dumbly.

"Yes, you know, for breakfast." Sirius waved a bit too enthusiastically with the pan so that one or two pieces of egg landed on the floor.

"Sure," Remus finally answered, sitting down on the table, and accepted the plate Sirius' handed him. "You must excuse me, but I'm a bit surprised to see you so cheerful."

Sirius shrugged, shuffling some eggs into his mouth before he answered, "Why wouldn't I be cheerful? It worked and though I wished that Harry wouldn't need this time to sort things out, I can understand him. How would you feel if had lived out the feelings and wishes of someone else for over two weeks? I know that I would be pretty much confused as well and I can understand that Harry needs time to himself, away from me."

"Aren't you at least upset that he's with Severus? Don't tell me that you like him all of a sudden," Remus said, cutting of some burnt bacon and delicately placing it at the side of his plate.

"Of course not." Sirius looked truly scandalised, gritting his teeth. "It's driving me insane that he's with Snape! I truly regret what I said yesterday, but I still can't help being jealous and slightly worried. I mean, sure, he's your lover, and Harry already told him that there would never be anything between them but friendship, but dammit, I hate the thought of what could happen if Snape suddenly decides that he won't accept Harry's rejection any longer. What if he tries the same as Malfoy, both Malfoys, and I'm not there to prevent it... Bloody hell, Remus, wouldn't you be worried as well, aren't you worried?"

"A little bit," Remus admitted quietly. "But not because I don't trust Severus or Harry. It's just... I'm not the most attractive of men, I turn into a monster once a month and Harry has that eternal beauty and the soul of an angel. Paddy, I don't think anyone can compete with that and I can understand that you are so protective and possessive of him. Anyone would."

Sirius glared at him. "I had rather hoped you would say something that would reassure me and not make me even more nervous about this whole ordeal."

"Sorry." The werewolf sighed, sending him an apologetic half-smile. "If it helps, I trust Severus. He's not the kind of person to go behind someone's back and he would never take advantage of Harry. It's been twenty years, Sirius, and for the longest time Severus saw Harry merely as James' son. I don't think he'll ever completely forgive himself for how he treated him and will always think that Harry deserves someone better than him - or you, but that's another subject."

"Gee, thanks, now I feel better." Sirius shook his head.

"I had the impression that you were feeling really good," Remus stated, watching him.

"That's because I avoided thinking off **that**," the Animagus snapped. "And if you ignore the fact that Harry is with Snape of all people, thinking about whether he still loves me or not, I have every reason to be relieved and happy."

"I'm sure that Harry still loves you, he's just..."

"Confused, yes, I've heard that before," Sirius grumbled, displeased, running one hand through his still slightly wet hair. "I'm not stupid, you know, you don't have to tell me things every ten minutes so that I don't forget them again and despite what you think I know Harry."

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Paddy," Remus amended. "Of course you know Harry and I don't doubt that you love each other."

"I'm just so glad to know that he's okay again," Sirius murmured. "After all I put him through, the least I can do is give him one week for himself."

"One week?" Remus raised an eyebrow, trying to remember if Severus had said anything about one week. "How do you reckon it will be only one week?"

"Because I decided so," Sirius told him bluntly with a wry grin. "I may understand Harry's need for privacy, but I won't allow him to distance himself from me and if he hasn't talked to me by New Year's Eve, I will make sure that he does. My patience isn't big enough to last any longer."

Remus' smile was partly amused and partly understanding, like he had finally found his old friend under all the layers of grime, exhaustion and sadness Azkaban had left him with. Sirius grinned back at him, downing the last of his highly sugared coffee.

"So, what should we do while we wait for our respective partners to come out of their isolation?" Remus asked.

"I don't know what you are doing, but I'm going to look for a job. Has the Daily Prophet arrived yet?"

"Yes, it's still up in my room," Remus offered, getting up from the desk. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"No offence, Moony, but I'm lucky if I find someone who can overlook my years in Azkaban. I don't think my chances will improve any if I introduce them to my best buddy, the werewolf."

"I guess you're right." Remus sighed. "I'll keep my fingers crossed."

"Thanks." Sirius grinned at him, patting his shoulder as he passed him to get the newspaper. "Let's hope that it helps."

Sitting cross-legged on his bed, going through the job openings, he wasn't sure that it would help him even if all Hogwarts students crossed their fingers for him. Of course, it would be easier if he actually had an idea what kind of job he wanted. In school, he had always thought he wanted to be an Auror, like James, but now he firstly had no desire to work for the Ministry and secondly he wasn't sure if that hadn't been just childish dreams and misguided loyalty. Though, he guessed that if all else failed he could still play the guilt card and get a job at the Ministry. He grimaced at the thought. Better find something else. There were several part-time jobs, but he really didn't think that being a waiter for Florean Fortescue's was the right job for an almost forty-year-old wizard.

There was one advert for a job at a library and he decided to give it a try even though he couldn't imagine himself behind a counter, surveying rows and rows of books and from time to time stamping the books someone wanted to borrow or putting the returned books back into their shelves. That was more Remus' kind of thing. But he told himself that he could check the other newspapers while he was there and after they rejected him. There were bound to be some more openings.

He threw on his robes, checked himself once more in the mirror as he made his way over to the fireplace. There was an address given in the advert and he landed in something like a side room where jackets, robes and forgotten umbrellas were stored. There was also a plan pinned to the door and after briefly scanning it and finding it none too helpful, he just pushed the door open and came face to face with a scowling witch.

"I was wondering when you were going to come out," she said crisply in a sandpaper voice. "Are you here for the job?"

"Yes, good day, madam." He gave the witch his most dazzling smile and got a slightly less stern scowl in return. "I hope it's still available."

"We will see about that," the tiny, wiry woman returned, appraising him with her eyes, and he had to make a conscious effort not to shift uncomfortably. "Name?"

"Sirius Black," he waited for the inevitable gaping, staring or running away screaming, but none of that followed.

"Education?"

"Hogwarts, I have my NEWTs results with me if you want to see them," he offered quickly, reaching into his pocket, but she stopped him.

"Mr. Black, you don't look like you just came fresh out of Hogwarts so I doubt that those would influence my decision very much." She filled in some form, eying it critically. "What do you think qualifies you for this job?"

"Well, I..." he faltered, not having thought that he might even get this far. "I'm good with people, I have good manners, I don't smoke or drink unless it's a special occasion..."

"Mr. Black, those are all very nice qualities, if we were to go on a date - "

"Oh, no, I'm married - more or less, I wouldn't... I mean you are beautiful, but I love someone else..." he interrupted her, looking shocked.

"Mr. Black, there's no need for flattery, if you'd just answer my question: What qualifies you for this job?" her scowl was replaced by something like a smirk that was a lot more upsetting than her previous expression.

"I'm good at Levitation Charms?" he suggested weakly. "Honestly, I don't know what would make you choose me. I'm not exactly partial to books, I can't sit still for a long time and I just came out of Azkaban - "

"Enough, Mr. Black," she stopped his babbling once again. "Do you want this job or not?"

"Of course, I want this job," Sirius declared, quite convincingly if he said so himself.

"Though I doubt the truth of that statement, we might as well try," her tight-lipped smile reminded him of Professor McGonagall. "About every two weeks there are presentations about possible careers and further education, mostly of course for young witches and wizards, but I'm sure you will benefit from those as well. Let me give you the tour."

"Are you serious? You really give me the job?" Sirius exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear.

"That's what I said, now, if you would follow me?"

"Oh, thank you, you don't know how much this means to me." He hugged her exuberantly, lifting her up a little so that her feet dangled several centimetres above the floor.

"I think I have a rather good idea of it, Mr. Black, if you would let me down?" If he wasn't completely mistaken, a faint blush was gracing her slightly wrinkled cheeks and it didn't fade completely as she showed him around.

The library stretched over three floors and was separated into eight different sections, each with its own issuing desk and employee responsible for keeping things quiet and peaceful and the precious books unharmed. Sirius got the section with dictionaries, lexica and other books of reference and the books about laws. He was already bored by it and the only visitor they met was so engrossed in a thick tome explaining all the words from D to E that he didn't seem to notice their presence. The librarian, who had finally introduced herself as Bridget Sharp and graciously allowed him to call her Mrs. Sharp, also handed him a folded pamphlet with all the dos and don'ts that he would have to enforce and then, shortly before releasing him, handed him a moderately sized manual for the good employee. The only upside to his new job - safe for the fact that he actually got it - was that he only had to work from nine a.m. to one p.m. at least during the holidays and the payment was fairly reasonable as well.

All in all he was rather satisfied with his day's work when Mrs. Sharp finally released him from her clutches, and he made a mental check behind the first point of his to-do-list: Find a job.

*_*_*

On Thursday, he once again woke at an unearthly hour and used the time he had to spare before he needed to go to work to go through the Daily Prophet, this time through the real estate offerings. But he found nothing to his liking and so he decided to wait until he came back from work so that he could have Remus help him.

"Awake so early?" Remus came into the kitchen, warily looking at the sink where several pans and plates were having a nice get-together. "No breakfast today?"

"I forgot the pancakes when I was reading the Prophet." Sirius shrugged a little. "They burnt. I thought it would be safer if you made breakfast today."

"Rather you didn't want to wash the dishes and left it to me." Remus rolled his eyes, but got to work and cleaned the pan and the stirring bowl before he started on the pancake dough. "Are you nervous about your first day of work?"

"I suppose so." Sirius took a sip of his coffee. "It's not like it's the most demanding job or anything and I don't intend to stay there for the rest of my life."

"You could at least give it a try." Remus softly shook his head. "You might even come to like it." Sirius just raised one eyebrow skeptically. "Okay, maybe it's not your thing. I never expected you to work in a library, but it's a start, right? Once the wizarding world notices that you aren't insane or out for revenge, there will be more people willing to employ you."

Sirius nodded absentmindedly. "Maybe I'll take one of the courses they offer. Hey, Moony, will you help me with finding a house?"

"Sure, we can go once you come back from work," Remus agreed readily. "What are you looking for exactly?"

"A house, I already said that," Sirius mumbled, around his mouthful of pancakes.

"What kind of house, Sirius?" Remus asked patiently. "How much space do you want? Where? In a muggle neighbourhood or somewhere secluded? Old or new? How much are you willing to spend?"

"Don't know, when I see it, I will know." Sirius shrugged uncaringly.

"Why don't you wait and go looking for a home together with Harry? It will be his house as well, after all."

"I want to surprise him," the Animagus replied. "And if the new house shouldn't be to his liking, I'll sell it again and we'll buy another one. I just want to offer him something."

"Sirius, I don't think you need to buy a house to impress Harry."

Sirius glared at him. "I know that, but that doesn't mean that I can't spoil him a little. It's not like he ever had anyone to spoil him before... That reminds me, are you up to visiting the Dursleys?"

"Sirius, no, that is not an option." Remus gave him a stern look. "I can understand that you aren't happy about their treatment of Harry. I'm upset about it too, but I certainly won't let you go there so that you can do something stupid and land yourself back in Azkaban."

"Why do you always assume that I'll do something irrevocably stupid?" Sirius glared at him.

"Because you usually do," Remus deadpanned, and Sirius glared at him. "Do you really think that the Ministry isn't watching your every step anymore? They will have you in a full-body bind and ship you off to Azkaban if as much as the first syllable of a possible insult passes your lips. Do you really think Harry would want that?"

"So you suggest that I just let it slide? That I just let them get away with neglecting him? Do you even know what they did, Remus, do you? What do you know about it, anyway? You have no idea what they might have done to him," Sirius snapped at him, slamming his cup down on the table.

"Unlike you I do, Sirius," Remus growled at him, his temper rising. "Don't you think I'm angry? I don't need you to make me feel guilty because I couldn't do anything to prevent it, because Harry grew up in a hateful environment. And you don't need to explain it to me, either, because I know just as much about those kinds of things as you. Most of all it is not fair of you to make me worry once again about your safety and Harry's happiness. It's time you grow up, Sirius, this is no longer Hogwarts where Dumbledore turned a blind eye on all our misdoings and laughed at our pranks. There's no safety net anymore, least of all for an ex-convict, however innocent you are, and a werewolf. If you give them a reason, they will not hesitate to imprison you again or do even worse. Grow up, Sirius!"

The black-haired man glowered at him, pushing his chair back with so much force that it clattered to the floor. "Fine, if you don't care about Harry... I'm off to work."

Remus' hurt expression told him all too clearly that he had been wrong in saying what he had said and he knew, theoretically at least, that Remus was right with everything he had said. Nonetheless, he quickly left the kitchen and used the floo network to get to work. He was more than half an hour early and while he waited for Mrs. Sharp to arrive and unlock the main doors for him, he couldn't stop seeing Remus' pained face, the dark amber eyes, framed by two many worry lines and already greying hair.

Life had been fair on none of them, not on him, not on Harry, but also not on Remus. He knew how hard Remus had fought to get custody of Harry. He had even signed some form once, declaring that he would be okay with Remus taking Harry in. He supposed that it had been used against Remus in court, after all, who could trust a werewolf when a convicted criminal was supporting his case? It had been a setup, because if he hadn't signed, there wouldn't even have been a trial for custody. But Remus had tried. Maybe he was right and knew much more about what the Dursley's had really done to Harry and it was also probable that he had either already dealt with it or knew that Harry didn't want him to. He knew that he had been irrational and that his thirst for revenge was the unholy union of his boredom, his worry for Harry and his anger at his own helplessness.

Sighing, he resolved to apologise as soon as he got home again and to endure his nagging conscience until then. It wouldn't do to be fired on his first day, not at all.

It wasn't particularly challenging to shelf books and inform a greying witch that no, owls were not allowed in the library, but that there were several copies of today's Daily Prophet that she was welcome to read, and he was bored. After his third cup of coffee and after he had managed to tumble from his chair for about the six time, he finally settled down on the floor so that he wouldn't be tempted to swirl and roll around on his chair and ultimately land where he was sitting now, and played one game of Solitaire after the other until finally the liberating hand of the clock ticked to one o'clock.

He decided to stop by a bakery for the honey cake Remus loved so much as a kind of peace offering and mentally prepared to use his best puppy-dog eyes to get out of this easier. They always seemed to amuse the werewolf, and if you could charm a smile out of Remus John Lupin, you had won him over.

So, with the cake under one arm and his robe in the other, he cautiously entered the quiet house, wondering if Remus was even at home or if he had chosen to avoid him and all possible future conflicts. But as he entered the living room, he found his friend sitting in his armchair, leafing through a rather old and worn looking book and not acknowledging his presence.

"I can understand if you're angry with me," he started, uncertainly taking a step forward. "It was horrible and wrong what I said earlier. I know you care about Harry."

Remus finally looked up, grinning wryly at him as he put his book down. "Don't worry about it, Paddy, I know your temper."

"So I'm forgiven?" Sirius asked hopefully, his eyes wide and pleading.

"If that honey cake is for me and if you believe me that the Dursleys have been dealt with," Remus stated, his lips lifting into a small smile: _Bingo!_

"I knew I could bribe you with that cake." Sirius grinned. "And I trust you so if you say that they have been taken care of, I'll believe you."

"How generous."

"You know, I think you have been spending too much time with Snape. You never used to be so sarcastic." The black-haired shook his head in mock-disapproval.

"Maybe you just forgot about it," Remus suggested mildly. "Apropos Severus, he flooed earlier."

"Did he say something about Harry?" Sirius perked up immediately, looking a mixture between apprehensive and hopeful as the werewolf nodded.

"He did a check-up on Harry and he's absolutely fine, though he seems to have lost a lot of weight. But Severus is positive that a few of his potions will resolve that easily."

"How is he doing?" Sirius asked eagerly, after exhaling slowly.

Remus shifted a bit uncomfortably. "Severus said that he cried a lot and that he had rather bad nightmares when he finally fell asleep."

"Shit," Sirius cursed, glaring down at his hands.

"I'm sure that Severus is taking good care of him, Sirius," Remus tried to appease him. "They talked a lot."

"I'm not so sure that will be to my advantage," Sirius grumbled, clenching his hands into fists.

"Severus also said that he called your name in his sleep, but that when he asked if he should get you, he refused," Remus added softly, not sure how Sirius would react to this revelation.

"That's what Snape told you," Sirius snapped. "It doesn't mean that I believe it."

"How can you still hate him so much?" Remus asked incredulously, "It's been twenty years..."

"...that I spent in Azkaban," Sirius hissed at him. "Where I relived every bad memory, every curse cast on me, every insult he ever voiced that cut deeper than he knew... or maybe he knew, I wouldn't put it past him."

"He was the one who accompanied Harry to Azkaban," Remus argued sadly. "He pulled some strings and called in old favours, favours I'm sure he would rather have forgotten. But he did it and he was willing to listen to your explanations and to support Harry. Where do you think you would be now without him? I'll tell you, you would still be in Azkaban and wouldn't even know that Harry is still alive and Harry would be bonded to Sébastien and maybe wouldn't even remember you. Because Lucius certainly wouldn't have gone with Harry to Azkaban, Dumbledore forbid it and there's no one else who could have accomplished something like that. So think again if Severus really warrants all the hate you are so keen to pile on him! And you are no innocent either!"

"Didn't I pay enough?" Sirius exclaimed. "So I was a brat and a bully and maybe Snape didn't deserve it, but I paid for it. I lost Harry, I was sent to Azkaban. That should give Snape a good feeling, shouldn't it? He had sixteen years to enjoy the thought of me sitting in Azkaban while he fucked my best buddy, he had sixteen years of satisfaction because he was right to hate me and think of me as a low-life creature that killed his best friend out of spite. And now you want me smile at him, thank him maybe because he wanted to see me suffer and show Harry exactly what I had become and because it backfired? Not likely, not bloody likely, Remus!"

"Sirius, do you know how irrational that attitude is?"

"I can tell you that it makes perfect sense to me," Sirius retorted, sharply rapping his fingers on the table. "Why shouldn't I hate Snape? He did as much wrong to me as I did to him and he didn't pay for it."

"You would really send him to Azkaban, just to sate your thirst for revenge?"

"Of course not!" Sirius stared at him as if the werewolf had started growing additional heads. "But I don't see why I have to be nice to him either. I tolerate him, don't I? And I allow him to take care of Harry and I even apologised to him, what more do you want? I don't trust him and I don't like him and that will never change, but that doesn't mean that I want him to suffer... too much. Just don't expect me to like the thought of him being with Harry and doing Merlin-knows what," Sirius growled.

"You're jealous," the amber-eyed wizard stated, but it sounded more like a question, "of Severus?"

"Why would I be jealous?" Sirius retorted scornfully.

"It's the only explanation that makes sense. You have been getting along better with each other, not good in any event, but definitely better," Remus answered. "But ever since you found out that Harry wanted to stay with Severus, you've been badmouthing and insulting him. You're jealous because Harry prefers him right now and because he has your mate right. You're jealous."

"I'm sure you'll tell me now that it's only natural and that I shouldn't worry," Sirius sneered.

"No, I won't, since you can tell yourself that." The werewolf chuckled.

"I'm certainly glad that you find my plight so laughable," Sirius groused, and Remus grinned at him. "I just find it amusing that your great self-confidence can be so strongly influenced by something like this. And it's amusing because I know that Severus was jealous of you for the longest time."

"It should have stayed that way!" Sirius mumbled, and Remus laughed once more.

For a split second, Sirius considered being affronted, but then he joined in the laughter.

"Why don't you write Harry a letter?" Remus suggested some time later. "This way, you can tell him how you feel and show him that you think of him, without putting pressure on him. If he isn't ready to think about that yet, he doesn't have to read the letter."

"You know, I think I'll do that," Sirius stated pensively, nodding in agreement. "But maybe we should go house-shopping before it's too late."

"Well, did you think some more on what you want?" Remus asked, munching on the last piece of his cake.

"A little. I want a house with a garden, somewhere where we won't be constantly pointed and stared at and preferably somewhere in the country. Not too big, but with at least two bedrooms. I don't want one of those modern houses where everything is white or metallic and not at all cosy."

"What about the Black and Potter estates?" Remus offered. "There's bound to be one that suits your needs."

Sirius grimaced. "Are you kidding me? I'd burn each and every of the Black estates down if that didn't require me coming near them... or if that wouldn't give the Ministry a reason to arrest me for arson."

"What about the Potter estates then?" the werewolf asked. "I know of at least five and as Harry is the sole heir, they now belong to him. I even remember one that has all that you just described."

"I guess, but they are still Harry's and I don't think he would appreciate it if I just decided over his head like this. Maybe it would only hurt him to live where his parents once lived and to be reminded of them on a daily basis. That would seem like a cheap attempt at replacing them."

"Sirius, sometimes I wonder about you. You have no problem with kidnapping Harry right from under the Aurors' noses and buying a house without Harry and now you shy away because you think Harry won't approve if you choose one of his estates?" The werewolf shook his head. "Harry would love you even more if you gave him something of his parents, regardless of what that is."

"You think so?" Sirius asked hopefully. "Are you sure it wouldn't go too far?"

"That depends on what you have in mind." Remus sighed, knowing that sometimes Sirius went a bit over the top with his ideas.

"You know that small manor house where we used to spend our Christmasses?" the black-haired man asked excitedly. "I have an extra key so it would be a real surprise for Harry. We'd have to do a bit of cleaning and maybe repair some things, maybe buy new furniture and sort through the things that are still left there, but it would be manageable. We can built rooms into the attic and make a guest room out of it or we can add a hobby room..."

"Wait, stop." Remus raised his hands. "I get the feeling that you've been thinking a lot about that."

Sirius grinned sheepishly. "I always felt at home there and I might have played with the thought, but always dismissed it because I thought Harry wouldn't like it..."

"I don't believe Harry ever was there, or at least not that he can remember. As long as you don't destroy any evidence of James and Lily, I'm sure he would like it," Remus told him earnestly, and Sirius' smile widened a bit more. "How about we have a look at it now and then decide what needs to be done, what we need to buy, things like that?"

"Sounds like a plan," Sirius answered, enthusiastically jumping up from his chair and almost knocking it over in his haste. "Let's go!"

Remus shook his head in amusement and levitated the used dishes over to the sink before he followed the impatient animagus.

"The house won't be connected to the Floo network anymore, and if I remember correctly, it had several wards, amongst them an Anti-Apparation Ward, so we'll have to take a little walk," he stated pensively. "You should take your coat with you, Sirius."

Sirius rolled his eyes at him, but obediently summoned his cloak. "Yes, mother. And I promise that I won't talk to strangers."

"They will certainly thank you for it," Remus replied dryly. "You want to apparate?"

"To the bridge that separates the manor from the rest of the village." Sirius nodded, remembering all too clearly how he and James had ice-skated on the little pond the river formed farther down its course and tried to break the ice by throwing stones from the bridge.

Happiness at seeing the manor again with which he connected so many good memories and sadness because he knew that those times would never return assaulted him as he appeared on the bridge and caught sight of the small manor. A gush of cold wind whipped him in the face and he was suddenly glad to have heeded Remus' advice, who apparated next to him, wrapping a scarf around his neck.

They made their way to the house in silence, each lost in their own melancholic thoughts. The path they followed hadn't been used in such a long time that it would have been hard to make out even if it hadn't been deep winter. They sank deep into the powdery snow and the legs of their pants were beginning to soak and cling to their calves. It was already late enough so that the sun didn't reflect on the snow anymore and so instead of blinding them it shone in a soft, blue-grey light while the trees that lined the path in irregular intervals drew eerie shadows on it.

Maybe it should have made him uncomfortable or scared him even, but to Sirius, it seemed almost like the ghosts of the Potters had returned to greet him and welcomed him back in their home. For a moment, he could almost feel Mrs. Potter's arms lock him in a warm embrace, saw her carefree and loving smile and the telltale shimmer in her eyes when they had to return to Hogwarts. He clearly remembered James' father, who had always carried himself with a kind of quiet dignity that was so different from his own father's contemptuous haughtiness that it had confused him in the beginning. It had also taken a bit of time to notice the mirthful half-smile that accompanied most of the lectures he had given them when they had gone a bit too far with one of their pranks or maybe pulled too many pranks for his liking.

But the thing he remembered the most clearly was the feeling of truly being a part of their family, of being welcomed and loved unconditionally. He hadn't been just another one of James' friends, a well-liked guest that stayed longer than they probably appreciated, he was not just **like** a son to them - he was their son and he considered them his parents, no matter what his birth certificate might say.

He extracted his bunch of keys and with something akin to reference unlocked the door, which creaked in its hinges as he carefully pushed it open and stepped over the threshold. His soft foot steps left little imprints in the layer of dust that had gathered on the floor, and the floor boards creaked a little as he made his way through the foyer. Then, he hesitated, unsure of what to do now.

"Let's have a look around," Remus suggested softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I believe that Dumbledore told the house-elves to cover the furniture and pack all the things into boxes before he took them into Hogwarts' service. I guess it wouldn't be too much trouble to get them back here."

"No," Sirius mumbled, shaking his head. "I want to do this myself. This is my present to Harry and anyway, I had enough of hasty little creatures who fall over themselves to please me for quite some time." He managed a rather painful looking grin before he resolutely strode into the living room with the huge picture window that gave view to the park-like garden that surrounded the manor.

How long had it been since he had last been here? Much too long. Everything was so far away now. Everything had changed. He sighed. Looking over at the fireplace where he had once sat next to a cosily crackling fire with sleeping baby Harry in his arms, softly talking with James and Lily and Remus.

"Don't dwell too much on the past," Remus advised him lowly, stepping beside him. "Or you won't be able to look forward to the future."

"It's strange to suddenly have a future to look forward to," Sirius murmured more to himself. "I guess I still haven't realised it fully that I'm out of Azkaban and that I have Harry back - more or less."

"Don't worry about that too much, okay?" Remus smiled encouragingly at him. "We still have a lot of work to do if you want to have the house ready for moving in by New Year's Eve."

Sirius nodded in agreement, forcefully pushing all other thoughts aside and they set to work.

*_*_*

They kept working well into the night and on Friday they continued after Sirius got back from work. Cleaning, sorting out, repairing, furnishing, planning, building, decorating, arranging and all in all making the house homely once more.

Thanks to magic, it all went relatively fast, that was after they had decided what exactly needed to be done, and so they finished just to in time to watch the sun set through the huge picture window of the newly furnished living room. The armchairs were slightly mismatched and the rocking chair creaked, but the sofa was plush and still didn't look like they had stolen it from an old lady's living room. Remus had found several old photographs of the Potters and themselves, put them in frames and set them on the mantelpiece or hung them on the walls. The wooden floor was now covered with carpets of different shapes and colours. They had also owl-ordered new curtains and a book-shelf, which they had just set up and that now covered the wall to the right completely, though there weren't many books in it just yet. Cosy and simple, exactly how he had imagined it.

The rest of the house was furnished and decorated in the same way and they had even added two more rooms in the attic that could either serve as guest rooms or as or as hobby rooms since they had been left mostly bare. Most of the rooms and the kitchen especially had been left exactly how they had been, in memory of the former owners. The two bathrooms had needed a bit of modernisation and several steps of the staircase hadn't been in the best of states and needed to be replaced. But all in all, Sirius thought they had done a very good job, placing one of the potted plants he had bought on the windowsill in the kitchen before he sorted the fresh groceries into the fridge or the overhead cabinets. Everything was ready for Harry and him to move in.

*_*_*

On Saturday, Sirius stared in disbelief down at the piece of paper Remus had dared to call a letter.

_Please, give me more time. I miss you. Harry._

That was all the answer he got for his three-paged letter? Two short, contradicting sentences and a name? It was a bit disappointing and Sirius felt like punching someone. He also felt like flooing over to Hogwarts and demand a better answer, demand for Harry to come back and to talk with him. But he didn't. Harry still had three days left and even though his veela side urged him to act now and to make Harry his again, whether he was ready or not, he would wait because he owed it to Harry.

He held the small piece of paper to his nose, taking a deep sniff of it, catching the soft, sweet smell of his lovely mate, imagining that he only had to reach out to take him into his arms and press him against his body. How he missed him! The dreams about Harry had returned with a vengeance, only that now he knew whom he was dreaming of, which only served to intensify his feelings of longing. It also wasn't helping matters that he now had a real memory as the basis for his fantasies and the thought that he was fantasising, craving and longing for something Harry certainly hadn't enjoyed made his guts twist with guilt and shame.

With a sigh he lowered the letter and uncurled his long limbs, getting up. At least Harry had answered him and at least he missed him, too. It wasn't as good as "I love you," but wasn't that exactly the reason Harry had isolated himself? To find out if he still loved him, or rather why? It was a strange concept to Sirius that Harry wanted to find out why he loved him. Wasn't it enough to know that he did, that he was loved in return? On some level, he could understand that Harry was a bit wary about his feelings being forced, but what was he planning to do if he came to the conclusion that his feelings were not coming from himself? Leave him? Hide away from his feelings? It seemed like a stupid solution to Sirius. Besides, he was convinced that Harry's feelings weren't caused by any bond right now, because if he had any say about it he would take all doubts and all hesitation away from Harry.

But if it was so important to Harry, he had no choice but to accept it and hope that Harry not only came to the right conclusion but also came to it soon.

There was a tentative knock on his door and Remus entered his room.

"Is everything okay? You've been in here for over two hours."

"Yes," Sirius answered. "Just expected a bit more, I guess. But no news is good news, right?"

The werewolf smiled at him. "I asked Severus to ask Harry if he was okay with your time limit of one week and he has agreed, so you'll get Harry back soon enough. Dumbledore invited us to the New Year's Eve festivities. Should I tell him that we'll be there?"

Sirius nodded. "Remus, you know that you don't have to keep me company, don't you? I'm not unstable or anything."

"I know," Remus shifted uncomfortably. "But Severus... He's still not very happy with me and I don't want to risk scaring or upsetting Harry. Besides, I missed spending time with you, almost like in old times, isn't it?" His smile returned. "I still have some hopes of being your best-man when you marry Harry."

"Shit, Remus!" Sirius suddenly cursed. "I'm making the same mistakes over and over again! I once again didn't ask Harry if he wanted to bond with me, which might be excusable because he wasn't really responsive at that time, but I can't just push Harry into a marriage. This time I have to do it right and get him a ring and most of all ask him so that he has a chance to say no! I can't just confront him with a fait accompli!"

"Now calm down for a moment, Paddy," Remus intervened soothingly. "Disregarding the fact that I don't really know what you are talking about, you still have time to get Harry a ring and to think of a way to pop the question, even if you want to do it as soon as you see him again."

"You know that veelas can claim their mates officially and I did just that," Sirius stated, forcing himself to breathe evenly. "It bound Harry to me and I didn't even think about asking him beforehand what he thought of it and then we bonded and you know how that came to be and what effects it had on Harry. Once again, Harry had no choice and the ritual was once again performed without Harry's consent. If I do this one more time... Harry feels helpless enough as it is, I shouldn't add to that."

"You still don't know how helpless and how dependent on you Harry is after this second bond," Remus argued. "Maybe he isn't afraid anymore."

"That's not really the point, Moony." Sirius stared at him. "And I don't really believe it either. He's a submissive and you know how much he hates it. I didn't really know him before he came into his inheritance, but from what he told me it was a huge change for him and I know that I'm not the perfect dominant. I'm not like Malfoy, who instinctively knows what Narcissa needs and managed to make Harry feel at least a little better about his situation. And I'm not Sébastien, who helps Harry without expecting anything from him, without putting pressure on him. And I'm not you, Remus, I'm not understanding or patient or compassionate. I'm just not and Harry deserves someone who has all those qualities and more. I made too many mistakes already, I can't continue like this and expect Harry to cope with it."

"Sirius, no one expects you to be perfect, least of all Harry," the werewolf tried to assure him, but Sirius interrupted him.

"I'm not talking about being perfect, Moony, I know that I'm far from perfection. I just want to be less... inadequate."

"I'm still not sure that I agree with you," Remus finally declared. "But if you want to ask Harry to marry you and try to make less mistakes, I think it's a good idea. We can go on Monday to look for a ring."

"Thanks." Sirius smiled at him. "I think I'm going to ask Ron and Hermione if they want to come along. They would know Harry best."  
"I'm sure they would be happy," Remus said, "Anything else you want to do? If you decide tomorrow evening that you still want to get Harry... a puppy it might be a bit on short notice."

"Oh, yes!" Sirius exclaimed, excitement on his face. "That's a great idea. We need at least one puppy, and owls, and horses - the manor has stables after all. Maybe we can even get a dragon, that would be so cool..."

Remus groaned. "Maybe you should wait with the pets until you have Harry with you. He's the one good with animals after all."

Sirius grin fell slightly, but there was still enthusiasm in his voice as he answered. "We can at least get a puppy. I'm good with puppies and I need a new owl too."

Remus sighed inaudibly, but resigned himself to his fate, hoping that Hermione would maybe be able to put a stop on Sirius' enthusiasm.

*_*_*

On Wednesday, Sirius paced the length of the Defence classroom, willing his breathing to even out, his hands to unclench, his teeth to stop gritting. He nervously fingered the small square box in his robe pocket, casting a furtive look out of the window, noticing absently that the sun was just disappearing behind the Forbidden Forest. He supposed that the festivities had already started, but he thought that if he was going to go hysterical with worry and nervousness he would do so in the privacy of Remus' classroom and not in front of everyone.

Time and time again, his thoughts wandered to Harry and he felt mildly guilty for possibly keeping him waiting, but then again he had waited this last week and it wasn't that late, anyway. Once again, his hand itched to grasp the door handle and run downstairs, but he resisted, starting another round of pacing. Most likely, Harry wasn't even there yet and was just getting ready for the evening. Or he was once again talking to Snape. His hands that had minutely relaxed clenched into fists once more. He just couldn't stand the thought of Harry confiding all his secrets to Snape, of hugging him and leaning against him for support.

He groaned, not for the first time realising the impossibility of being perfect for Harry or to at least implement some of his good intentions. He could make a thousand promises to himself to get a reign on his jealousy, to be more understanding, patient, to put Harry's feelings and wants in first place, to not be selfish, to take responsibility, to think first and act later - he would still break every single one of them. No, he wasn't perfect, but that didn't mean that anyone else was perfect enough for Harry either. Snape certainly wasn't!

By now, the sun had set completely and the classroom was now only illuminated by the torches along the wall that cast long shadows over the floor and made Sirius' own shadow dance and flicker as he paced.

With sudden resolution, he halted in the middle of the classroom, deciding that it was time to see Harry again and to face his decision whatever it may be, before Remus could go through with his threat and drag him to the Great Hall.

A soft knock on the door made him stop again.

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_Reviews are always welcome!_


	32. Say It!

_Disclaimer: See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: Hey there! How are you all this fine day? Any chance of making it even finer with an update? Well, I'll just try..._

_Beta: TheElementalMaster, thank you!_

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**32. SAY IT**

Harry nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other, glancing over his shoulder and not for the first time wishing Severus was still with him. There was no reason to be afraid, he told himself. He had reached his decision and once he told Sirius about it, it was obvious how Sirius would react. There was nothing to worry about. Severus had told him so and he wished that he could believe him, but he wasn't so sure.

What if Sirius didn't want him anymore? Sure, he had said that he would never leave him willingly and that he would always love him, but what if he saw Harry differently now? After all, he was only a submissive and Sirius was... perfect. He could have anyone, why would he want Harry?

He self-consciously fiddled with his fingers that seemed to be much too thin and long on his much too small hands. He thought of his scrawny body and his diminutive height, his unruly hair, his unmanly features, his slightly rounded hips, his lean muscles that did nothing to conceal the thinness of his body, his too pale skin... Lucius could tell him a thousand times that he was supposed to look like this and Narcissa could tell him just as often that he looked good, beautiful, but he just couldn't believe them. Sometimes, he believed Sirius.

Of course, he had always been small for his age, but he had always had the hope that he was merely a late bloomer and would hit a growth spurt sooner or later. But now it seemed like he would stay this way. And it wasn't only his outward appearance that Sirius might find repulsive. He had pushed him away, had demanded time for himself, had disobeyed him, had doubted him and his word. How could Sirius possibly still want him? His heart ached at the thought. What should he do without his dominant, without his mate? What was he without Sirius? Nothing. That's exactly what he was. Now that he had defeated Voldemort and that almost all the Death Eaters had been rounded up and put to trial there was nothing left for him to do and if Sirius didn't care about him anymore, no one would care what happened to him either. He was useless. _A burden. Dependent. Pathetic._

Somehow the words were spoken in Draco's voice and with his sarcasm, his reasoning, his insults. A shiver raced down his spine and a whimper escaped his throat at the thought of the blond even though the young Death Eater had been captured and arrested with most of the other Death Eaters who had survived the Dark Mark's poison. Neither Lucius nor Narcissa had paid him a visit yet or had even acknowledged that they had a son sitting in prison. Harry felt almost bad for his former classmate. No one deserved a lifelong sentence in Azkaban, where Sirius had been held despite his innocence. He shuddered. Sirius hadn't deserved it and maybe Draco had been right. Not about supporting Voldemort and wanting to kill all Muggles, of course, but about how he had treated Harry. Maybe Sirius had realised that as well and wouldn't want him back anymore.

He felt the telltale stinging of tears in his eyes and took a deep breath. He wouldn't start crying now! Fine, he was a submissive elf, but that didn't mean that he was a crybaby! He was still a Gryffindor and he would just have to deal with Sirius' decision. Sirius was his mate and dammit, he wanted to see him again. If only for one moment.

Resolutely, he turned to the suddenly very intimidating door of the Defence classroom and softly rapped his knuckles against the wood. He could sense Sirius behind it. Was he feeling it, too? Maybe he knew Harry was here and didn't want to see him. Harry's shoulders slumped a little, and he had already turned around halfway when the door was suddenly jerked open.

Harry halted, cautiously looking up at the dominant. His dominant. His heart beat a nervous, irregular rhythm like it wasn't quite satisfied with just thumping in Harry's chest, like it wanted to jump into Sirius' hand to show him that it truly belonged to him.

They hovered uncertainly for a moment, staring at each other, before their feelings overwhelmed them and Harry landed in Sirius' arms. Neither of them could have said who acted first and it didn't matter, either. Sirius hands closed around Harry's waist, pulling him flush against his body, while Harry had thrown his arms around the older man's neck, nestling into him and taking a deep breath of Sirius' familiar scent. He was home.

"Are you mine?" Sirius finally whispered in Harry's ear, still holding him close.

"If you want me," Harry whispered back, pressing a bit closer. "Please."

"I'll never let you go again," Sirius promised, grinning down at his small mate. "You won't get rid of me now, not ever."

"Good." Harry sighed in relief, snuggling into him. "I love you."

"Why do you love me, Harry?" Sirius asked, remembering what had caused this whole ordeal.

"Because **I** do. Because you are perfect and strong and because your smiles make me feel all warm and safe and because I feel stronger myself when I'm with you," Harry answered without hesitation. "Because I could never be angry with you for more than a second, because there's nothing I wouldn't do for you, because... I never had a reason to doubt it. I'm sorry, Sirius. It was just..."

"... too much," Sirius finished for him, smiling lovingly down at him. "You don't have to apologise, beautiful, not for your feelings and not for your doubts about them. Maybe I will understand it one day, but if not, it's just one more thing to increase my fascination for you."

"You forgive me?" Harry asked disbelievingly, brokenly.

"There's nothing to forgive on my part." Sirius grinned at him, for some reason in an inexplicably good mood and suddenly sure that nothing could go wrong anymore, even though Harry was still a bit angsty. "Hush, it's over, okay?" he said softly as he noticed the shivers that wrecked Harry's slim form. "No one will do you harm now. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Can you just hold me?" Harry pleaded, and Sirius enclosed him in his arms again, carefully scooping him up and carrying him inside the classroom, locking the door behind them.

He looked around the room, a bit unsure where to put Harry, but then his eyes lit up as he caught sight of a pile of pillows Remus had most likely used to test the students' shields. He walked over there, gently bedding Harry on the soft cushions before lying down himself and taking him in his arms. Harry snuggled into him, burying his face in the crook of his neck, and Sirius slowly carded his fingers through Harry's unruly black locks.

"I don't remember too much of what happened," Harry finally confessed. "I know what happened, but it feels like something someone told me and not like my own memory, not like I was really there when it happened. I don't know what I felt or if I felt anything at all, except for... I know what happened before you found me in the bathroom, I know what I felt then."

Harry shivered uncontrollably. "The bond told me that I wasn't allowed to hurt you or even just to make you unhappy. I still feel that way now, I don't want you to hurt and I want you to be happy. But I was hurting then because I disobeyed you because I made Remus unhappy with being so nasty to Severus and because I couldn't understand why you stopped all my attempts to please you. And I couldn't tell you or you would have been hurt as well. I felt like I needed to punish myself for my disobedience, but I didn't know how to without making you notice and consequently worry about me. I didn't know what to do and it got worse with every minute.

"The bond was hurting me, it hurt so much, Sirius, and I... I wanted it to stop. I wanted to end the bond: I wanted to end my own pitiful existence... I wanted you to let me go and when it only got worse..." Harry choked on his own tears. "I hated you," he whispered. "That's why I needed time, because I never want to feel like that again, like I have no choice but to love you and I never want to love you so much that I start hating you again. Never again, Sirius."

Harry broke down into sobs, and Sirius helplessly wrapped his arms tighter around the slender young man, not knowing what he could possibly reply to that.

What could he possibly say? Hadn't he felt much the same way? Hadn't he almost hated the new, bond-influenced Harry for replacing the Harry he loved? Maybe he needed to tell Harry just that in order to make him understand that he did nothing wrong and that he hadn't enjoyed Harry's forced obedience, either.

"I didn't like who you were, how you acted," he whispered gently, pressing a kiss into Harry's hair. "I love you, but I couldn't love this faked Harry, even though I tried. I hated you, too."

"Really?" Harry sounded vaguely hopeful, and Sirius' tensions released in a bark-like laugh.

"Really, you don't have to feel bad about it and if you had told me about this immediately, we could have saved both of us a lot of confusion, don't you think?"

"I'm sorry," Harry mumbled, blushing lightly, and Sirius chuckled, capturing his hand and brushing a kiss over Harry's knuckles.

"You couldn't have known that. Everything okay again?"

"Yes." Harry tried a tentative smile, once again snuggling closer. "I'm good."

Sirius grinned at him, thinking of something else entirely though he didn't voice his thoughts and instead asked, "And how is this new bond for you? Is it okay for you? Any unpleasant side effects?"

Harry scrunched up his nose a little, thinking about Sirius' question. "Severus did some test," he finally murmured, "to find out how I was affected and he said that everything is how it should be... as far as he knows. I feel pretty normal, in any case. I missed you terribly and I dreamed of you and I also had some nightmares, but now that I'm back with you I feel really safe and content. I feel free."

"Are you afraid?" Sirius asked softly, looking intently at the smaller creature.

"A little." Harry shrugged. "I don't feel too good when you aren't around, but right now it's okay."

"We'll work on that," Sirius assured him. "Maybe you just need more time to get used to the new situation in order to be more sure and confident."

Harry's eyes gleamed with a strange light as he looked up at the veela, and his lips formed a gentle, barely-there smile that held so much love and voluntary devotion that Sirius' breath caught in his throat. He almost shyly pressed their lips together, waiting how Harry would react. Would he push him away? Melt into his touch? Do nothing?

There, Harry's lips parted slightly and what little control Sirius had was lost and he engaged the elf in a demanding and passionate kiss, darting his tongue over Harry's soft lips, the sharp row of his teeth, into the soft warmth of his mouth. His hands went up to cradle Harry's face: His thumbs gently rubbing over his cheekbones and temples while his other fingers snaked into Harry's hair. The silky black strands fell over his fingers, got tangled, untangled as unpredictable as the rest of Harry's body, that moulded itself against his, arched away. Harry mewled and purred, his hands clutching Sirius' shoulder to pull him closer and still closer.

"Please, Sirius, more." He panted, arching into the older wizard. "Want you to... Please."

Sirius froze, more shocked than anything, staring down into Harry's delicate, pale face. "No. No, Harry, I said that we'd do this right and that we would wait until you're ready. That didn't work out: I took your innocence and caused you pain and grief. I won't let myself be carried away once more."

Harry's eyes clouded with hurt before he slowly shut them, seeming resigned and defeated and hopeless. "Okay."

"No, it's not okay, Harry," Sirius pleaded. "You misunderstand me. I **will** make love to you and it **will** be as perfect as I can possibly make it for you, but it certainly won't be a spur of the moment thing. Give me time to plan something for you, make it special, please?"

"What if something happens? If you wait too long?" Harry asked softly, and Sirius felt his throat constrict painfully.

"Nothing will happen. Voldemort is dead, his Death Eaters either captured or also dead. Nothing will happen."

Harry's eyes fluttered open once again, and he sent him a look full of disbelief and fear.

"Give me one week," Sirius compromised. "I gave you one week, now you have to give me one as well. That's only fair, don't you think, beautiful?"

"If this is what you want," Harry answered softly, gravely, rolling around and turning his back on the veela, who sighed inaudibly.

"Why do you take this so hard, hm? Don't you know that I love you with all my heart? Why do you need sex to believe me that I'll always be there for you? You can't look forward to it, not after what I did to you, not after what happened afterwards."

"That's exactly the reason," Harry stated, stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest.

"What is the reason?" Sirius asked in confusion.

"Because it hurt and I felt like I was dying and I'm afraid that it'll happen again, but I'm even more afraid that you won't want me anymore if I... if I don't want to... if we never do that again. I'm damaged goods and I have to prove to you that I'm still worth it to be your mate."

Sirius blinked, furrowing his brow. "You really think that? Merlin, Harry, how do you get an idea like that? You aren't damaged and you're a person and not only the object of my lust. I don't care if we ever have sex as long as you're happy."

"But I want you to be happy as well," Harry argued. "I haven't done a very good job of it so far."

"You've made me incredibly happy, Harry, we don't have to have sex for that."

"But... you're a creature of love!" Harry protested, furrowing his brow. "Don't you... That book said that you need... you know."

Sirius chuckled. "I need love and you give me more than enough of that, I don't necessarily need a physical manifestation of love, though I do very much enjoy kissing you, beautiful. That'll be enough for me as long as you're still to embarrassed to say the word 'sex'."

"I can say that!" Harry said indignantly.

"I have no doubt about it, tiny," Sirius teased, kissing Harry's nose. "But until you do, I reserve the right to play dumb and misunderstand what you're implying."

"Sex!" Harry snapped, crossing his arms over his chest, and glaring at Sirius when he merely arched an eyebrow. "There, I said it."

"Said what, dear? I have no idea what you want from me," Sirius replied innocently. "Could you maybe repeat your request in a complete sentence?"

Harry's eyes narrowed into slits. "I want to have -"

Sirius silenced him with a kiss, cutting Harry off before they could find out if Harry would really have finished the sentence.

"Unfair," Harry mumbled, but leaned in for another kiss that Sirius granted only too willingly, and when they finally drew back they were both breathless.

"I know," Sirius admitted, still breathing heavily and holding Harry against his body. "But you don't have to prove anything to me, Harry. I don't want you to be my sex slave, I want you to be my mate, my equal, my husband..."

"Your husband?" Harry perked up, and Sirius mentally hit himself over the head.

"I ruined it again, didn't I?" He moaned. "That's no way to make a proposal. Can't you just forget it?"

"Nope." Harry grinned at him. "Now you have to marry me!"

"So you say yes?" Sirius looked hopefully at him, slowly starting to grin as well.

"Yes!" Harry exclaimed, throwing his arms around his neck. "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

"Then I guess you will have no objections to me putting this ring on your finger?" Sirius asked softly, reaching into his robe pocket and extracting the small square box, snapping it open.

"Wow." Harry tentatively reached out his hand, but his fingers halted in midair before they quite touched the delicate gold band with emeralds and diamonds all around it. "It's beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you are, but I guess it'll have to do," Sirius murmured, making Harry blush brightly; he carefully took the ring out of its box, slipping it on Harry's finger, and then pressed a kiss to Harry's lips. "I want to marry you, Harry."

"I want to marry you, too," Harry whispered, putting his arms around Sirius' neck. "But I want to finish my last year first. Is that okay for you?"

"I think that's a good idea." Sirius grinned. "I wouldn't want to distract you... too much. And you can take your time, in every respect, okay? No need to rush things."

"Thank you." The elf smiled in relief, putting his head on Sirius' shoulder. "I'd like that. Take it slow, enjoy every second."

"We'll do that," Sirius assured him, pressing a kiss to his temple. "You're in control, Harry."

"But... You're in control as well, aren't you?" Harry asked timidly.

"Yes, beautiful, I'm in control as well." Sirius beamed at him. "But if I want to do something you don't agree with, tell me, and we'll do something else."

"But you have to tell me, too," Harry insisted stubbornly, crossing his arms over his chest. "I want to know if you don't like me doing something."

Sirius brushed a gentle kiss over Harry's cheek. "Don't you have enough people already who tell you what to do?"

"But they have no damn right to, you do," Harry retorted. "And the war is over so they can all butt out of our life... Right?"

The veela laughed, pecking Harry's nose. "Right. We'll tell them at the very next opportunity."

"Good." Harry nodded before resting his head against Sirius' chest. "And afterwards you can tell me what you want."

"Hm, I can think of some things," Sirius murmured suggestively and turned to nibble on Harry's earlobe. "And they all involve you and me and not much else."

"Sounds like it could be fun," Harry replied with a smirk. But the feast is still going on, and they'll worry if we don't show ourselves some time."

"Okay," Sirius agreed, starting to straighten Harry's clothes and vainly trying to bring some order into his hair; finally he gave up, frustrated. "Do you know that this is a hopeless case? Just like Jamie's hair."

"Mhm, I know," Harry mumbled, much too occupied with enjoying the sensation of Sirius' fingers running through his hair to really listen to his words, much less to come up with a better reply.

Sirius chuckled, drawing back and adjusting his own clothes before he offered Harry his arm. "Let's crash this party!"

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_Two more chapter and the epilogue, can you believe it? Well, this is your chance to tell me what still needs to be resolved and which loose ends need to be tied... Go ahead. Or just comment on this chapter, if you'd like..._


	33. Perfection

_Disclaimer: Still not mine, surprisingly. See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: Did anyone else have trouble with uploading files and answering reviews or ought I feel special?_

_Beta: Blaithin-mae, thank you!_

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**33. PERFECTION**

The Great Hall was decorated with paper streamers that sometimes decided to take a ride on someone's back and stubbornly stuck to that person. Most everyone was wearing paper hats, except Severus of course, who was nursing a glass of sparkling wine and staring sourly at all the partying people around him. But to make up for Severus' reluctance to join the partying, Dumbledore was wearing two hats and had artfully braided some paper streamers into his beard.

Music was wafting through the hall and out into the corridors, people were dancing and sometimes even singing along though it seemed doubtable that this was much of an improvement. A small buffet with cakes and canapés and another one with beverages were set up on the side of the hall where the teacher's table usually stood. Despite the fact that the guests were mostly just the Hogwarts staff, mixed with a few old friends and the eleven students who had chosen to stay at Hogwarts during the holidays, the hall seemed kind of crowded to Harry, which might have to do with the small insignificant detail that Hagrid had invited Grawp, his half-brother, who was now looking remarkably lost, sitting on a small table that looked like it would give out under his weight soon.

"Hey." Remus had spotted them and waved them over, while Severus, with a last general glare to the other guests, turned to the refreshment table and uncapped a butterbeer, hesitated for a moment and uncapped another one. "Harry, it's good to see you again. How are you feeling?"

"Fine, thanks," Harry mumbled, reaching up to give the werewolf a quick hug, wrapping his arms around Remus' neck. "I missed you and Sev did too."

"Spilling my secrets again?" Severus demanded, scowling at Harry, who grinned sheepishly at him. "I can assure you that I will tell my wolf everything he missed and needs to know in due time."

"Sorry, but we both know that you would never tell Remus that in such blunt terms, don't we?" The elf hastily released the werewolf from his embrace when Remus chuckled and leant back against Sirius, who put a protective arm around his shoulder and stared warily at the bottle of butterbeer the Potion's Master was offering him.

"Oh, honestly, Black," the Potion's Master snapped, handing the bottle to Harry instead, who accepted it gratefully. "I'm not about to waste one of my perfectly good potions on **you**! Do you want a butterbeer or not?"

Sirius chose to answer that question by simply taking the offered bottle and pulling Harry a little closer to himself.

"Thanks, Sev." Harry smiled belatedly at the tall man, snuggling into Sirius, who had given a warning growl that came from deep down his throat.

"You're welcome... more or less." Severus half-sneered at the Animagus, before turning back to Harry. "I see you followed my advice. There's a first time for everything."

"Wait a minute," Sirius broke in. "You told Harry to come to me and give me another chance?"

"I'm not above making mistakes," Severus snapped, impatiently brushing a paper streamer from his robes. "My, it is easy to surprise you. What did you think I was doing this last week, letting Harry drown in his guilt and longing for you without doing anything? Oh, don't answer that question... We all know the answer."

"Sev," Harry whispered, getting an annoyed but accepting glare in return.

"All my boys together!" Dumbledore, with a small plastic trumpet in his hands, winked happily at them. "Who's up for a polonaise? Severus, would you care to take the lead?"

"Albus, by now even you must have come to the conclusion that I neither appreciate nor share your idea of fun and if you feel the need to embarrass yourself I don't even want to **watch**. And you should do everyone a favour and try to keep out of people's business this next year."

Dumbledore's face crinkled in amusement as he absently played with his beard. "Thanks for the tip, Severus, but, unfortunately, I have already decided to try out at least ten new sweets. I actually made I list, I think it would be unfair to that resolution to now suddenly change plans. But I will certainly consider it for the year after the next... Sirius, I was wondering when I would see you, but of course I understand that you two had a lot of catching up to do... May I be the first to congratulate you? I believe I haven't seen that ring on Harry's finger before..."

All eyes turned to Harry, who blushed brightly, ducking his head.

"Thank you, Headmaster," Sirius replied evenly, smiling gently down on his small mate.

"Can we expect a wedding to take place soon?" Dumbledore asked happily.

"What do I hear? Wedding?" Narcissa interrupted happily, her arm linked with Lucius, who was trying to look like he hadn't been dragged over. "That's so romantic! When is it going to take place? I hope in spring, spring weddings are always the most beautiful. I know of a few - "

"Cissa, thank you, but Harry and I will ask for your advice or help if we need it," Sirius interrupted her softly but with determination. "Our relationship is our business and for the rest of you that means, thanks but no thanks and please mind your own business."

"Paddy..."

"Moony, if I need help, you'll be the first I'll ask and if I hurt Harry, you have my permission to use all your creative energy for vengeance, but until that happens, we would appreciate some privacy," Sirius stated, kissing Harry's temple. "Right, gorgeous?"

Harry nodded, smiling a little as he looked up, and snuggled into Sirius.

"Took you long enough," Severus commented, sipping on his butterbeer and mentally cursing Albus, who had insisted that there be no decent beverages such as Firewhiskey or Minerva's fine Scotch.

"Excuse me?" Sirius stared incredulously at the taller man.

"Did you expect us to trust you, of all people, with Harry, when you couldn't even stand up for yourself and eagerly grasped for our advice so that you could safely forgo thinking?" Severus commented in an offhand manner.

"Sev, enough," Harry intervened reproachfully. "You can't suddenly pretend that any of you would have accepted Sirius' decisions or even heard him out. Wouldn't you agree, Professor Dumbledore?"

"My - ah, how did you call it, Severus? - My meddling? It certainly did not make things easier for you." Dumbledore looked remarkably cowed. "I'm afraid that too often I thought that the end justifies the means where you were concerned, Harry."

"There's no end to achieve anymore," Harry stated evenly, his eyes slightly narrowed and steadily locked with Dumbledore's clear blue ones.

The old wizard nodded. "This new bond seems to work well for you."

"It works well for both of us," Sirius spoke up, tucking Harry safely back into his arms and almost surprised that Harry allowed it without protest. "So we have an agreement?"

"I will be here if need be or if you decide to collect old favours, Sirius," Dumbledore answered. "Until then, I wish you all the happiness this world has to offer. With each other."

Harry twisted in Sirius' embrace, lifting to his tiptoes so that he could whisper in Sirius' ear. "I think we won."

"I think I like that fire in your eyes," Sirius replied just as quietly, chuckling at the blush that spread over Harry's cheeks. "Thanks for protecting me."

"I... Is it okay if I do that?" Harry asked timidly. "I know you can take care of yourself, I just... I don't mean to embarrass you or anything... Are you angry? I won't do it again. I'm sorry."

"Now wait just a moment," Sirius interrupted Harry's rambling. "Why do you think I just thanked you?"

"Because... you were being sarcastic?" Harry offered uncertainly.

Sirius laughed, shaking his head in denial. "No, Harry, I truly appreciate your help and I see no reason to be embarrassed about having a strong-willed, independent mate who will have my back if necessary. I expect you to be submissive to me, I think it would be futile to deny that, but that doesn't mean that you have to be submissive to anyone else if you don't want to, okay? Where would I be if you weren't such a stubborn, fearless young man? Still in Azkaban, that's where. So I have every reason to be grateful for your protective tendencies, love."

Harry cocked his head before giving Sirius a cautious smile. "I'm glad for your protectiveness as well."

Sirius grinned, his grey eyes bright with love and amusement as he leaned down to press a small kiss to Harry's neck. "I'm afraid it's not only protectiveness that makes me act this way but also a rather unhealthy dose of jealousy and possessiveness. I'm not going to share you, Harry. I don't care if they bother me, but they better stay the fu - far away from you."

Harry's eyes widened, but then he whispered in Sirius' ear, "I love you, too." He breathed a sigh of relief when Sirius relaxed and gently traced his spine.

"I didn't mean to snap," Sirius murmured. "And I'm not going to isolate you or anything, but I want to keep you safe and if they hurt you, I won't be responsible for my actions."

"I know, it's alright," Harry replied, pecking Sirius on the lips. "Ron and Hermione won't hurt me though, so can I go over to them?"

"Sure, will you be fine on your own or do you want me to come along?" Sirius offered, reluctantly releasing Harry from his hold.

"I should be fine."

"I'll wait for you then." Sirius sighed. "Don't make me wait too long, okay?"

"No, never again," Harry whispered, standing on his tiptoes and brushing a kiss over the older man's cheek. "I promise."

"Good, I will want to dance with you later." Sirius chuckled, watching Harry walk away and weave through the partying people.

Sirius didn't participate in the conversation around him and didn't even greet Sébastien as he joined them. His eyes never left the slender figure of his mate, watched every one of his moves, caught every one of his smiles as he talked with his two best friends, who had come here for the festivities. He was very glad when Harry, after what seemed like an eternity, returned to his side.

"Everything explained?" he asked softly, pulling Harry into his arms as soon as he was within reach.

"Yeah," Harry mumble. "Just haven't talked to them in a while. Hermione said they went shopping with you, what did you buy?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Sirius smirked, and Remus groaned, causing Harry to press a little closer to the shadow veela.

"Yes, I want to know," the elf replied, imploringly looking up at him. "Please, tell me what you did this last week."

"Fine, let me think. I got a job, we - "

"You got a job?" Harry interrupted. "What kind of job? That's great! Do you like it?"

"In a library and yes, it's pretty much okay - lots of books, you know..."

Severus snorted.

"You don't have to work," Harry argued softly. "I won't think any less of you if you wait for a job you really like."

"I know." Sirius smiled. "Don't worry, it's something I want to do... and despite what people here seem to think," - He glared at Severus. - "I'm not illiterate."

"I wasn't implying that you were," Harry protested. "I just thought you'd want something... with more action."

"Well, I hope that you will provide me with some action," Sirius murmured into his ear, smirking as he saw a dark blush spreading over Harry's cheeks. "You're cute."

"Don't tease me." Harry pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. "It's not fair."

"Who said I wanted to be fair?" Sirius chuckled.

"You said so!" Harry stared accusingly at him, making the older man shift uncomfortably. "Don't play games with me! I don't like it."

"I'm sorry, Harry," Sirius apologised remorsefully, and Harry grinned at him.

"You are right, teasing someone **is** fun."

"Oh, you... you little minx, you!" Sirius exclaimed. "Making me feel all guilty for your own amusement... You just wait!"

Harry's eyes flickered uncertainly, but Sirius sent him an encouraging, amused, barely perceptible smile with his eyes, and Harry bolted with a challenging laugh. "Wait?! Catch me if you can!"

Sirius didn't have to be told twice and after swiftly pressing his butterbeer bottle into Remus' hand, he chased after his fleeing mate, whose small size was a definite advantage for weaving through all the partying people. However once they had left the Great Hall, Sirius' longer legs made the distance between them grow smaller and smaller until he finally captured his elusive mate, backing him into a corner.

"Now, little minx, I think it's time you surrendered and asked for my forgiveness." Sirius smirked, putting one hand on each side of Harry's head, leaning closer.

"No!" Harry stuck his tongue out childishly, trying to dodge out from under Sirius arms, but the veela was faster and pinned the smaller wizard to the wall.

"Nuh uh, I don't think so," Sirius stated, making sure that he had Harry secured in his hold. "I demand retribution."

"Really?" Harry cocked his head slightly. "Why didn't you say so earlier? I'm not too averse to that idea, you know?"

"No, I suppose you wouldn't." Sirius chuckled, and Harry scowled at him.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, Harry," Sirius tried to appease him. "I wasn't implying that you were easy to get because that certainly is not the case."

"But I do have a soft spot for you..." Harry replied with a shy smile.

"Lucky me!" Sirius grinned at him. "I don't think... I don't think you would have endured me and my stupidity for so long without that soft spot."

"You aren't stupid," Harry protested. "You're perfect."

"You're the first and probably the last person who said something like that." Sirius shook his head lightly.

"Maybe because you're perfect for me," Harry reasoned. "You can't please everyone and you can't be perfect for everyone, but if you're lucky you're perfect for someone."

Sirius slowly lowered his head a little, pressing a kiss to Harry's temple before whispering in his ear. "And if you're even luckier, you find the person who's perfect for you and who you're perfect for. I did. I found you."

"Sweet-talker," Harry mumbled with a teasing glimmer in his eyes. "I thought you wanted to punish me."

"No, but I wanted to reward myself." Sirius grinned at him, capturing Harry's lips with his own and nibbling carefully until he was granted entrance.

Harry melted into the touch, feeling safe and warm like one of Sirius' smiles was permanently wrapped around him. Suddenly a whole new range of feelings joined his own, swirling, intermingling, starting to blend. His heart skipped a beat and as it started again it thumped in sync with Sirius', slightly faster and stronger than he was used to, but nonetheless in a familiar way. Sirius' love soothingly washed over his soul, mending the last few cracks the old bond had caused and which the new bond hadn't managed to repair yet. Never before had he felt quite this whole.

Harry's lips seemed to tingle and the kiss seemed to linger even after Sirius drew back slightly, his breath ghosting over his skin and his heart beating against Harry's ribcage from the outside and from the inside. The veela finally registered that he was still clutching Harry's upper arms with enough force to leave bruises and guiltily loosened his hold, rubbing apologetically.

"You okay?"

"More than that," Harry replied as Sirius put his forehead against Harry's. "I think you should get rewarded more often..."

Sirius chuckled softly, pressing closer to the slighter creature, aligning their bodies so that Harry could feel every move, every vibration and every rumble of his body. "I don't remember you ever being this cheeky."

"Sorry," Harry apologised uncertainly. "I thought I was allowed to..."

"No, I didn't mean it like this and maybe cheeky wasn't the right word either... you're more relaxed, I guess, and that's a good thing," Sirius protested with a gentle smile that eased Harry's worries. "I don't want you to be afraid, dashing, but I want you to need me at least a little."

Harry blinked at him, cocking his head in confusion. "The only reason why I feel safe enough to tease you is that you're there. Of course I need you."

"Good," Sirius concluded, before engaging Harry in another kiss, thrusting his tongue passed his soft pink lips.

He had enough presence of mind to gather the shadows tighter around them as they were still standing more or less in the middle of a hallway, and he didn't feel like being caught in a compromising position. Especially as they were on the best way of getting into a compromising position, Sirius' hands wandering under Harry's shirt, caressing the smooth chest, playing with his hardening nipples and finally slipping lower, cupping Harry's erection. Harry moaned, arching into the feathery touch, while his fingers tangled in Sirius' raven locks.

"I think we should consider going back." Sirius reluctantly pulled back from Harry's neck that now sported a very artful hickey. "Or they might think that we were having a serious fight earlier and start meddling again."

"'Kay." Harry sighed, running his hands through Sirius' hair, trying to unmuzz it. "What time is it?"

Sirius glanced at his wrist watch, surprised to find that the hand had already passed the twelve. "I'm afraid we missed the fireworks. It's almost half past."

"Oh." Harry seemed mildly disappointed before his eyes lit up. "We were kissing."

"Yes, that's what you'd normally call that kind of activity." Sirius rolled his eyes, and Harry playfully thumped him on the arm. "Yes, we were kissing, Harry. Is that somehow important?"

"Well, not really, you'll probably think it stupid," Harry mumbled, red tinting his cheeks.

"Try me!" Sirius demanded, placing a kiss on Harry's nose.

"Muggles say that you'll be with the person you kissed on New Year's Eve for the rest of the year," Harry explained timidly. "I just like that thought."

"I'll make sure to kiss you every New Year's Eve then." Sirius grinned at him. "And every Christmas and every Easter and every birthday and every morning and every evening and every day and every night and every hour and every minute and - "

"Stop," Harry cut him off, laughing, "if you promise that you'll kiss me every second, life could turn a little dull, don't you think?"

Sirius laughed as well, ruffling Harry's hair and tucking him under his arm as he led the way back to the Great Hall that was now slightly more empty than when they had left.

"Do you want to dance?" Sirius asked, listening to the slow love song that the band was playing, and offered his hand to Harry, who accepted gratefully.

Harry's body felt perfect in Sirius' arms, swaying softly to the music and following his lead, responding to all of his moves. Only reluctantly did he part from his smaller mate as the song ended and the band decided to get drinks for themselves.

"Let's say good-bye to Remus and then we can go home," Sirius suggested, when he saw Harry cover a yawn with his hand.

"Home?" Harry questioned, tiredly leaning against him as Sirius looked around for the werewolf.

"Oh, you don't know that yet." Sirius' face split into a grin. "I got us a house or rather Remus and I renovated one of your houses. I hope that's okay?"

"One of my houses?" Harry echoed incredulously. "I have houses, as in more than one?"

"Of course."

"I thought I only owned the one where Mum and Dad died, Godric's Hollow," Harry murmured. "I don't really want to go back there."

"You won't have to, I promise," Sirius assured him. "You have other houses besides Godric's Hollow, houses that hold better memories. Was it okay that I chose one? I still had the key for it and it was the house where your family used to spent Christmas. We didn't change much, just got some new furniture and repaired some things, but if you don't like the thought of it, we'll restore everything to how it was before..."

Harry curiously looked up at him, a small smile tugging on his lips as Sirius' rambled on until he finally had to take a breath and noticed Harry's reaction.

"It's okay?" he asked hopefully, and Harry nodded before putting his head against Sirius' chest. "Let's go home, Siri."

The older man beamed down at him, murmuring softly. "Didn't see Remus in any case, and we deserve some alone time, don't you think?"

Harry hummed in appreciation and allowed himself to be led outside where Sirius half pulled him under his own cloak so that he wouldn't be cold, though it made walking a little bit difficult.

* * *

_Wait! Didn't you forget something? Like your umbrella? Or to leave a review?_


	34. No More Waiting

_Disclaimer: See first chapter!_

_Author's Note: Last chapter! Yay! *sniff* I hope you'll like it, though I'm not too fond of this chapter, or at least parts of it... _

_Beta: Blaithin-mae, thank you!_

_**Warnings for this chapter: Graphic descriptions of sexual situations/ Lemon**! (It's clearly marked so just skip it if you don't want to read it, and don't say I didn't warn you...)  
_

* * *

**34. NO MORE WAITING**

Sirius apparated the both of them directly into the living room of their new house and in the split second that it took their bodies to disappear and rematerialise in another place, Sirius' arms wound tighter around Harry's slender waist and his mouth found that of the other creature. His hands feverishly tugged on Harry's clothes, finally getting to touch bare skin and caressing up and down his spine, while pressing his own body against Harry's, slowly backing him into the new sofa. Harry pressed against him, trying to get even closer by tugging on Sirius' collar.

Subconsciously Sirius was aware that he hadn't planned this and that, even though he had taken the initiative, it was Harry sending him signals that made him act on his feelings.

"What happened to waiting? What happened to my one week?" the veela murmured breathlessly, lying half on top of Harry, barely supporting his weight with one arm so that the smaller wizard wasn't crushed.

"I got bored. Please, Siri, I don't want to wait anymore. That one week would kill me." Harry panted, arching into him. "I want you. Please, please, don't insist on your one week."

"Are you sure?" Sirius gasped out between kisses. "I don't mind waiting."

"Liar!" Harry replied. "Feels right." He then took Sirius' face between his small hands, looking deep into his eyes. "I want to have sex with you, Sirius, now."

"Yes."

They toppled from the sofa onto the floor and Harry's throat escaped a low grunt when his back hit the carpet hard, Sirius' weight pining him down and making the air in his lungs leave in one rush.

"Sorry." Sirius lifted himself up immediately, looking down at Harry with concern in his eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Harry gave him a wry smile. "But this floor really isn't as comfortable as it looked at first glance."

Sirius chuckled in relief and pressed a kiss to Harry's lips before helping him up. "Are you interested in seeing the bedroom then? Or would you like a tour of the whole house?"

"Just the bedroom will do." Harry grinned up at him. "And you really must introduce me to that nice little chap that has been watching us since we came here. Who might you be, hm?"

He expectantly held out his hand to the small, fluffy Old English sheepdog puppy, which yapped enthusiastically and began licking Harry's hand.

"Oh, that's Jasper," Sirius also started to pat the puppy, which only had one grey ear and a grey front paw and was other than that white. "And somewhere here... Oh, there he is, come here, Butterscotch."

He clapped his hands and a dark golden retriever puppy cautiously appeared from behind an armchair, approaching them, whining softly.

"Don't be afraid, shh, my, look at how soft your fur is," Harry cooed, scratching the dog behind her ear. "No need to be shy, Butterscotch. Butterscotch? You named her Butterscotch?"

"It's a he and yes, I did," Sirius declared defiantly. "It fits him."

"Erm, Sirius, not to destroy your illusions, but Butterscotch is definitely female," Harry stated.

"What? But they said he, she, whatever was male," Sirius protested, scrutinising the dark golden puppy. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Harry looked up nervously. "You won't give her away again, will you?"

"Of course not, don't worry," Sirius returned, wrapping Harry in his arms. "I guess eventually we'll just have to deal with some more puppies... Do you like them, beautiful?"

"Yes." Harry nodded vigorously. "Thank you so much, Siri."

"Anything to make you happy and, to be honest, I just love to see you handling animals. These two can protect you if I'm not there, not that it will happen often," the Animagus declared, kissing Harry's forehead, who blushed lightly. "The house also has stables, but Remus convinced me to wait before getting any more animals."

"Can we get horses?" Harry asked in excitement. "And a donkey? And maybe even unicorns?"

"Sure." Sirius laughed. "You can have everything you want. You shan't miss a thing."

"The only thing I'd really miss would be you. You are everything I need. You don't have to spoil me."

"I know, I just love to do so and see you smile at me like this, with sparkling eyes and blushing cheeks." Sirius rubbed a thumb over Harry's cheek, cupping his face. "This is as much for you as it is for me. I just want to make sure that I can make you happy, as happy as you make me."

"Do you think this will work out?" Harry asked timidly.

"I promise you. Believe me." Sirius smiled down at him, and Harry happily obeyed.

"Okay. Thank you, for Jasper and Butterscotch, I mean."

He turned back to patting the two dogs, rubbing their bellies, scratching behind their ears and letting them lick his hands. Sirius watched them for a while until he began to get bored and envious of all the attention the two puppies were getting. Sure, they were cute and adorable, but so was he, and he was also gorgeous, funny, intelligent and very horny. Yes, definitely horny and he had absolutely no understanding for how Harry could go from happily being ravished to not at all affected by his charm. He still felt that desperate longing that pulled him towards Harry and he was pretty sure that Harry was still sending out the same signals; the signals that made him want to rip the clothes from his delicate body and mark him as his own with kisses and... more. He wanted more. He didn't want to wait any longer, not if Harry didn't want to.

But since Harry didn't pay any attention to him, he decided to seize the opportunity and add at least a little romance to their bedroom in case Harry would still want to take their relationship to the next level. Would roses be too tacky? Maybe candles? Should he already turn down the covers or would that put too much pressure on Harry? After arranging and rearranging, decorating and redecorating, he was finally satisfied with the result of his work and went back downstairs where Harry was still cuddling the two dogs.

"Do I have to transform into Padfoot to get a bit of attention?" he growled, and Harry's head snapped up, his eyes widening marginally.

"I'm sorry. What do you want me to do?"

Sirius felt like kicking himself, but instead he chose to slowly put his arms around the small elf, careful not to startle him.

"Still unsure, are you?" he asked softly. "Still afraid that I might get angry at you if you make a wrong move."

"Not afraid," Harry mumbled back. "Just a bit wary, I guess. I don't want to do something stupid and lose you."

"Oh, okay, wary then." Sirius chuckled, and Harry sent him a meek glare.

"What exactly do you find so amusing now?" Harry grumbled. "I thought you were jealous, okay? And the last time you were jealous you beat up Lucius."

"Yeah." Sirius smirked, cracking his knuckles. "I'll have to do that again soon if he doesn't keep out of our business and continues hovering around you."

"You're joking, right?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Mostly," Sirius replied, pulling Harry against his chest. "I really don't like it when others are looking at you. I'm the only one who's allowed to do that."

Harry was still debating whether he should be offended when the older man lovingly kissed his neck. "Don't be angry with me, love. Take it as a compliment. Am I not allowed to be a bit possessive of you?"

"Of course you are, but please don't beat anyone up over me? Please?" Harry begged. "I don't want to be married to a mindless brute and I hope that you trust me. Don't you?"

"Of course I do," Sirius assured him, smiling cheekily. "I just don't trust them."

Harry rolled his eyes, but relaxed into the taller wizard, looking around the living room for the first time.

"Do you like it?"

The smaller creature just nodded too taken away by what he saw to find words to describe it. His eyes swept over to the little picture gallery on the mantelpiece. There were photos of the Golden Trio, the Marauders, Harry's parents, Sirius and Harry, Harry's grandparents, and even one picture, half-hidden in the shadows, of Severus, Narcissa and Lucius.

"Over there is also..." Sirius gently turned Harry around towards a portrait painting that hang over the desk.

"Is that...?" Harry whispered, hastily stepping towards the painting.

"In the flesh... or at least in colour." The person in the painting grinned at him. "Howdy, son!"

"Dad?" Harry asked hopefully, staring at the teenage version of his father, who looked exactly like the young man he had met in the past. "How...?"

"Your grandparents wanted to have something to remember their son by even after he moved out," Sirius explained. "Remus and I found him in one of the rooms."

"And ruined my teint with your rough dedusting methods, I might add," James groused. "Is this how you treat an old friend, Paddy? I'm disappointed, really disappointed."

"Oh, shut up. Be grateful the painter didn't go into details about your pimples," Sirius muttered.

"How dare you! I have no pimples!" James exclaimed, but a light blush appeared on his cheeks. "That was an allergic reaction!"

"Uhu," Sirius said with an arched eyebrow. "Let's close this discussion. Any words of wisdom to your beautiful son?"

Harry could see James' chest almost swell with pride and his eyes gleamed with love. "He's right, you know? You're a real looker, all Lily's. Though, you should really close your mouth if you don't plan on using it. Swallowing a doxy is no fun, let me tell you."

"Prongs!" Sirius hissed in warning, pulling Harry into his side. "Wasn't there something you wanted to tell Harry?"

"Alright, alright. Geez, after almost two decades alone in a dusty, empty room with only the company of spiders and mice, which were quite taken with me even in painting form, let me tell you, is it too much to ask for a bit of patience?" He made a shushing gesture towards Sirius when he opened his mouth. "And I see that at least my son shows the proper understanding for my situation. Sirius, you can go over and sulk in that corner while I talk with Harry."

Sirius glared at him, sending James a look that quite clearly stated that he would hang his painting in the cellar if he didn't behave, but then turned to sit on the couch.

"No need to look so scared, little man." James' voice was suddenly several notches deeper, earnest and with a fondness that Harry was hard pressed not to call love. "Ever since Sirius told me that he and Remus were renovating for you and that I would see you soon, I've been thinking about what to tell you, how to make you understand how very sorry I am to have left you and how much I love you, how much I wished I could pull you into my arms and never let you go, but... I only managed to frustrate myself, I'm quite sure I even crinkled the canvas over my forehead, so here I am rambling and ruining our first father-and-son-moment and wishing Lily were here because she's so much better with words and... By the way, now would be the perfect opportunity for you to interrupt me and tell me that I'm doing fine."

He cocked his head hopefully at Harry, who returned his gaze with a shy, hesitant smile. "You're doing fine, Dad. I love you."

James beamed at him. "I love you, too, little man, and Lily does as well. You were and always will be the apple of our eyes and we're incredibly proud of you."

"And... Are you okay with my relationship with Sirius?" Harry asked carefully, still basking in the warm glow of James' words.

"Yes, Harry. I only have to look at you two - and I never want to catch you in a compromising position - to see how happy he can make you and that's the only thing that counts for me," James replied. "I've always trusted Sirius with my life and now, I guess, I will have to trust him with your life as well, though I'd much rather look out for you myself. But I'm glad that you found each other and I know he will be good to you."

"Thank you," Harry answered; his voice a little husky with emotion.

"Aww, you're welcome, little man." James grinned at him, raising his hand, to rest it against the canvas. "I wish I could hug you."

"Yeah," Harry whispered, gently touching his hand to his father's, feeling the cool canvas under his palm but not when James crooked his fingers slightly.

James cleared his throat before pulling his hand back and resting it against his chest. "Well, it's not to be, but feel free to come back any time you need my parental advice and now: Sirius!" he hollered. "We seriously need to have a serious conversation, get you arse back over here."

"That urgent, huh?" Sirius asked, but got up, taking position next to Harry again. "What is it?"

"Little man, why don't you entertain those two pups?" James suggested. "And get them to stop gnawing on the furniture, will you? Jasper looks at me as if I'm his next juicy bone."

Harry exchanged a quick look with Sirius, who gave him an encouraging nod and then turned back to the painting while Harry walked over to the large panoramic window, in front of which the two little dogs were playing.

"Well?" James asked, crossing his arms over his chest and staring down at his best friend. "What do you have to say in your defence?"

"My de- Don't you approve?" Sirius asked in shock.

"If I approve? If I bloody well approve?" James spat. "How could I possibly approve, do tell me that, Sirius!"

"I, uh,..."

"Lily and I were happily married, yes? We were madly in love with each other, soulmates in every sense of the word and even died together to protect our baby son, yes?"

"Yes, but Jamie - "

"If you know all that, then what, pray tell, were you thinking putting Lily's photo all the way at the other end of the room where I can see her, but not visit or talk to her?!"

"I... That's what this is all about?" Sirius laughed in relief, running a hand through his hair.

"Of course, what did you think? That I don't approve of you being in a relationship with my son?" James rolled his eyes. "Honestly, if I was against your love, would that stop you?"

"No, of course not, but - "

"Would it stop Harry?"

"I..." Sirius shook his head to get rid of the tiny voice that had dared to doubt Harry. "No, but it would make him sad."

"Then, I guess, I never had a chance, had I?" James arched an eyebrow and tapped his fingers against the picture frame. "As if I would want to be responsible for my son not being deliriously happy. I might have to revoke your godfathership and give it to Remus, but other than that... Besides, it could be worse."

"How so?" Sirius asked curiously before shaking his head and joining in with James' answer, "It could be Snape."

They shuddered demonstratively and then burst into laughter, grinning at each other like fools.

Finally, when they had regained their breath, James demanded, "So what about Lily's photo now?"

"You know that she won't be able to talk," Sirius cautioned.

James waggled his eyebrows. "Who plans on talking?"

Sirius snorted, but summoned one of the photographs that showed a studying Lily, surrounded by books, papers, quills and ink wells. Soft sunlight was filtering through a window, catching on the dust of old books and alighting her fiery hair. When Sirius moved the photograph and enlarged it, she looked up with a light scowl, stabilising a couple of books before they could tumble to the floor.

"Right next to me, that's good, and you know the Picture-Linking Spell? Perfect!" James watched Sirius avidly as the veela hung the picture next to James' painting and then murmured a spell that would allow the two occupants to travel between their frames. "Lily-flower!"

Lily turned her head to the side, annoyed frown firmly fixed in place and her mouth forming words that could not be heard. James walked into her picture, blowing her a noisy kiss before pulling her up and smack against his chest.

Sirius could feel Harry's slender form pressing against his back and he reached behind him to interweave his fingers with Harry's. "Mum?"

The two figures in the picture separated, Lily's slightly flushed face split into a grin before she began urgently writing on a piece of paper and then held it out to James, who dutifully read it.

"She wants me to tell you that she loves you, too, little man," James translated, and Lily poked him in the ribs. "And that she'll find a way to get Sirius' mother in here if he hurts you, and that will only be the beginning of her revenge."

He turned towards Lily, who nodded in satisfaction, and Harry had the impression that her hand had slipped behind James to squeeze his buttock by the way James jumped slightly. He quickly changed the direction of his thoughts.

"Well, then, lots of catching up to do, you know? So maybe come back tomorrow... in the afternoon," James said resolutely before dragging Lily with him behind a bookshelves, disappearing from view.

Harry stared after them with longing before pressing closer to Sirius. "Thank you, this means the world to me."

"I'm sorry, but we couldn't find a portrait of your mother," the taller man murmured, turning so that he was facing Harry once more. "She never really liked having her picture taken and I don't think she ever trusted speaking portraits."

"It's good like this. I'll be able to speak with Dad and Mum, with his help. It's more than I ever thought I would have," Harry admitted, lifting up to brush a kiss over Sirius' cheek. "And I believe James had the right idea: We do need to catch up as well."

Sirius groaned as Harry's breath ghosted over his skin, and he tightened his grip on Harry's waist, scooping him up in his arms.

"I believe you wanted to see the bedroom. Are you still up for it?"

Harry nodded with a timid grin, and Sirius felt his chest swell with happiness as he took the stairs two steps at a time, finally pushing the door to their bedroom open and gently depositing Harry on the bed that stretched from one side of the room to the other and was on something like a stage so that you had to take two steps up to reach it. To his dismay Harry started to giggle as soon as Sirius turned on the light and gave Harry a good view of the room.

"You don't like it?" he asked cautiously; he had been so proud of this room as he had mostly done it on his own without Remus help, who had merely firmly suggested that he not use more than three different colours.

The walls and the ceiling were now covered with wood panels as he had remembered that Harry was a creature of the forest and would most likely feel safer in such an environment. In consideration of that fact, he had also overcome his dislike for Slytherin colours and had chosen a forest green carpet for the part of the floor that wasn't hidden by the bed, which, in his opinion at least, was a masterpiece in itself. It had soft blue and grey covers that had reminded him of the sky and a light blue curtain (so light in fact that it almost looked white) with which you could separate the bed part from the rest of the room and which now hung loosely at the sides, not quite brushing over the carpet. Matching curtains decorated the windows and two dark wood commodes stood left and right of the walk-in closet.

He had also added a bookshelf and found a rocking chair that had been in the Potter family for many generations. To crown it all, he had bought a tree-like plant that according to Remus had a very long and complicated Latin name, which he hadn't bothered to keep in mind and which had found its place in a corner next to the window. He was still rather skeptical how long it would survive their care or lack thereof.

Finally, he had lit several candles, turned on soft music and had made sure that everything they would need was laid out ready at hand. It might not have been the most elaborate or original decorations, he could admit that, but still, he liked the room and he had no idea, why Harry had to break out laughing now.

"I do, it's great... just the bed." Harry started giggling again, curling up into a small ball.

"What's with the bed?" Sirius asked, slightly impatient.

"Do you plan to have a pyjama party?" Harry smirked. "Invent new Olympic disciplines? Arrange for an orgy or play hide and seek?"

"Oh." Sirius was glad that his newly reacquired tan hid most of his blush. "I just thought it would be good for pillow fights... Honestly, I wasn't thinking about orgies or anything, I just wanted it to be cosy and comfortable..."

Harry started giggling once more and buried his head in one of the blue pillows, until he was gasping for breath almost making Sirius worry. But all in all, he rather hoped that this would finally stop Harry's laughter and so he only half-heartedly rubbed circles between Harry's shoulder blades.

"You know, it's not me here with a dirty mind," he finally offered. "Though, now that you mention it, I think the bed would be perfect for sex marathons..."

* * *

**BEGINNING OF LEMON** (though, you can probably read a little further before it gets really naughty *grins*. But if you don't want to read it, I thought it would be nicer to break before they get started. )

* * *

Harry blushed brightly and finally stopped laughing, making Sirius grin triumphantly as he pulled him closer and began to fiddle with Harry's pullover. He could feel Harry's wary anticipation and for a moment he wondered if Harry was really ready for that step, if maybe they should wait a bit longer, at least that one week, but then he decided to continue until Harry told him to stop or until he started to panic, which he hoped he would be able to prevent by going slowly.

Carefully he lowered Harry onto the bed, until he lay flat on his back and then trailed feather-light kisses along Harry's throat and neck and down to his collarbone until Harry's pullover hindered his further progress. The older man looked up, finding Harry's eyes half closed, obviously relaxed and enjoying himself, and so he thought it safe to slide his hands under the dark green pullover, slowly pushing it up and finally pulling it over Harry's head, so that his black hair became even more tousled.

"Until now, I thought you had experience in such things," Harry mocked him, futily trying to pacify his electrified hair again. "You were almost romantic."

"Shut up, cheeky." Sirius growled playfully, pouncing once again. "That was only collateral damage, doesn't kill the romance at all."

Harry giggled as the veela teasingly blew air into his ear before nibbling on his earlobe, while Sirius' hands already had taken up the exploration of the newly revealed chest, caressing, stroking. Soon after, his fingertips were followed by his lips and Harry's eyes fluttered closed again as his own small, pale hands wandered into Sirius' hair.

Sirius smirked to himself - he was still an exceptional lover - before he started to alternate between scraping his teeth over Harry's sensitive skin and licking it soothingly. A shudder ran over Harry's form and a low groan escaped his throat, turning into a yelp as Sirius suddenly attacked Harry's right nipple with his lips and teeth.

The Animagus was still suckling lightly on the hardening nub while he used Harry's momentary preoccupation to get rid of his jeans, pushing them down his slender legs and over his feet, throwing them off the bed onto the deep green carpet.

"Sirius..." Harry's voice ended in a sigh. "Siri..."

"Do you want me to stop, love?" the Sirius asked, and the other wizard wildly shook his head.

"More please..." Sirius readily complied, rolling Harry's white socks over his small feet and slipping off his own shoes and socks, before he started kissing his way up Harry's thighs, until he reached the part that was still hidden by his boxer-shorts. He promptly pulled them down, making Harry blush all over.

"Nothing to be ashamed of, Harry," Sirius murmured and brushed kisses over the sharp hipbones. "You are more than beautiful. Now, lean back, relax and stop me if you get uncomfortable. Can I do something for you?"

"May I see you?" Harry asked timidly.

Sirius nodded, extracting his wand from his pocket and waved it, making all of his clothes disappear. Harry blushed even brighter and Sirius chuckled, once again caressing Harry's body with his lips and intentionally rubbing his own body against him, glad that, after a few moments of shock, Harry arched up to meet him.

The elf's breath came in irregular pants and small mewing sounds (that might have been pleas) filled the air, only arousing the grey-eyed man more, who swallowed his own moans by suckling on Harry's erection with abandon.

"Siri... I'm going..." Harry brought out before the rest of his words were swept away by his orgasm, and he shuddered and trembled, before finally sagging into the pillows. "Sorry..."

"Don't be..." Sirius replied softly and brushed a kiss over Harry's lips before slowly prying Harry's legs apart and easing a single, lube-coated finger past the relaxed ring of muscles. "Shh, calm. Does it hurt?"

"No..." Harry stuttered, keeping absolutely still, and Sirius could feel him tense up around him.

He carefully pulled out again, making sure to not hurt Harry, but at least he had taken enough lubricant to make it easy.

"Hey, look at me, please, Harry?" Sirius coaxed gently, cupping the pale face, and distraught emerald green eyes locked onto his. "I wanted you to be as relaxed as possible, that's why I did it now. I'm sorry if I went too far. Do you want us to stop?"

"I..." Harry swallowed. "I don't know. I'm nervous."

"Okay, Harry. I'll tell you your options and then you can decide: a.) I'll make sure that I didn't hurt you and then I will take you in my arms and we can just talk and cuddle. Or b.) I'll try to distract you and help you to relax and once you want to try it, I will stretch you very carefully and if you feel up to it, I'll make love to you. It's your choice, Harry, there's no wrong answer. Just tell me what you want."

"Would you be disappointed if I chose a.)?" Harry asked anxiously, sitting up and pulling his knees up to his chest.

"Maybe a little," Sirius confessed with a wry smile, putting his arms around Harry's slender shoulders. "But I would be really disappointed if you allowed me to continue even though you aren't ready. I love you."

"I love you, too." Harry sighed contentedly, leaning against his veela. "I think I want to try it."

"Thank you, Harry. I won't make you regret it," Sirius promised with an exuberant smile. "Close your eyes, we'll play a little game."

"Why?" Harry asked back, but obediently shut his eyes.

"To distract you," Sirius murmured back, before shifting out from under Harry and gently pressing him down on the bed again. "What am I drawing? If you get it right three times, you'll get a present."

Harry expected fingers to draw something on his chest, but instead Sirius' tongue sneaked out and began to lick a wet, slightly curved line from the black curls of Harry's pubic hair up to his navel and then kissed a ring around it, before he added two more licks that diagonally moved from the foot of the line he had first drawn, meeting under Harry's first rib.

He repeated those drawings, until Harry finally whispered an unsure "A flower?"

"Yes, two more." Sirius smirked, giving Harry a kiss on the lips as a reward, before he started to lick the contours of a heart around Harry's belly button.

That one was easier for Harry to guess, but he still enjoyed the gentle strokes for a bit longer before he gave his answer. He shifted impatiently until Sirius finally, or so it seemed, started to litter kisses over his stomach once again. He was so caught up in the sensation that he could hardly concentrate on what it was that Sirius was trying to paint on his skin. He could only mewl helplessly.

"Well, what's the answer?" Sirius asked after a while. "It's not that difficult."

Harry made a valiant attempt to concentrate once more, but it only seemed to intensify the touches, making them almost unbearably sweet and arousing.

"An apple?" he eventually gasped out, arching up and fisting his hands in the blue sheets.

"Nope, sorry, it was a smiley." Sirius grinned at him. "I guess that mens no present for you... And instead a present for me. You."

* * *

**NOW** you should really stop reading if that's not your kind of thing...

* * *

Harry pouted, but soon gave up on it when he found out what exactly Sirius had in mind. Strong, calloused hands slid over soft skin, once again wandering up the slender thighs, until they reached the pink ring of muscles and began to massage slightly cool gel into the creased skin. All the while, Sirius warily observed Harry's mimic for signs of distress or fear, but this time Harry returned the look with complete and utter trust that made Sirius' breath catch in his throat.

He carefully turned Harry on his side, spooning around him, but arranging Harry's left leg so that that tantalising hole still lay open to him and began to work his index finger in with painstaking slowness, while worshipping the nape of Harry's neck with kisses.

Suddenly Harry's body jerked, a strangled cry escaping his lips. "Merlin... what was that?"

"Oh, you mean this?" Sirius asked innocently, once again crooking his finger in the same way and brushing over Harry's prostate. "I have no idea... Should I do it again?"

"Yes," Harry wailed, trying to press closer. "Yes, please, Siri..."

Sirius obediently rubbed over the gland once again and then used Harry's distraction to add another finger, pumping them in and out in quick succession and hitting Harry's prostate with every inward thrust. A sheen of sweat glistened on Harry's chest and back and he instinctively arched and pushed into Sirius, his heavy panting from time to time interrupted by low wails, yelps and cries of pleasure.

Sirius himself was moaning and his breathing had become erratic as he fought to keep in control, though he felt it slipping out of his hands as he watched Harry's strangely concentrated face. Restraining himself one final time, he pushed a third finger into Harry, meeting more resistance than he had expected and berating himself for not using more lube. He nervously watched for Harry's reaction, who had stilled momentarily, panting hard so that Sirius wasn't sure if perhaps he was hyperventilating. Abruptly Harry pushed back into him, mewling like a little cat. Sirius released his breath and took this as his cue to continue preparing his small love.

A disappointed groan commented Sirius' sudden withdrawal, but Harry had barely the time to wonder what was happening, before Sirius entered him with one smooth trust, not moving for a small eternity before he withdrew until only the tip of his erection was still enclosed by Harry's hot walls. He then gently pushed in again, setting a steady, slow, but deep rhythm. Each of his thrusts was rewarded by Harry with sighs and yelps, with answering pushes back into him, with fluttering eyelids and beads of sweat, all of which gave Harry a completely debauched look.

"Come for me," his own voice sounded raspy as he whispered the command into Harry's ear.

He climaxed at the same moment, buried deep within his small soulmate, as Harry's walls began to ripple around him, milky white strings of cum shooting over his hands, Harry's stomach, chest and thighs and the bedspread. He carefully pulled out of his young lover, quickly checking that he had not torn the soft skin before he summoned a towel from the bathroom.

* * *

**END OF LEMON**

* * *

Harry lay limp in his arms and didn't open his eyes while Sirius was cleaning them, but when the veela was finished and moved them both under the covers, Harry's inky black wings pushed through his skin and spread over both of them, like they had done in the past when they had shared a bed. The Animagus chuckled and put his arms around the precious burden that had elected his chest as his pillow.

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked softly, when he noticed sleepy green eyes looking at him. "Did I hurt you?"

"I feel good," Harry mumbled in exhaustion. "I'm not hurt. Don't worry. Love you."

"I love you too, Harry," Sirius replied, brushing one last kiss over Harry's brow before he drifted off to sleep.

Harry shifted a little closer, extinguishing the candles with a wave of his hand and a small gush of wind. Romantic. This time it had been romantic. This time it had been slow and passionate and loving and simply perfect. There had been no hurry, no force, no constriction and only a little bit of hesitation. Maybe it was because he hardly remembered what happened in Voldemort's dungeons, and certainly because of Sirius' calm patience and strength, but whatever it was that had given him this self-confidence it was very welcome.

He hadn't expected making love to be such an intense sensation. He had thought that eventually he would be able to accommodate to it for Sirius' sake, but never that he himself would come to really enjoy it. A pleasurable shudder ran over his body as he remembered Sirius being so close to him, so deep inside of him, surrounding him, filling him, completing him. He didn't need to fear anymore, he was Sirius' now and no one would be able to take him away or hurt him or give him orders he didn't want to obey.

Sirius' soft breathing tickled his neck, his hand was still holding his hand and he could once again feel his heartbeat from the outside and the inside, matching the rhythm of his own heart.

This was perfect.

* * *

_Well, was it as bad as I thought it was or was it at least readable?_

_Until the epilogue!_


	35. Epilogue

_Disclaimer: All the characters, places, creatures and concepts you recognise from either the Harry Potter books or films belong to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros respectively. By writing this, I mean no offence to anyone and I certainly don't make money with it either._

_Author's Note_: The very last part of this story! *sniff* Anyone need a handkerchief?

Beta: TheElementalMaster, thank you! I'm once again impressed with your speediness!

**Warnings for this chapter**: I thought you deserved another small **Lemon**, though it's neither as long nor as graphic as the last one so it should be safe... (The beginning and the end are marked.)

* * *

**35. EPILOGUE**

"Lucius! Narcissa!" Harry skidded into the living room, greeting them in surprise. "We weren't expecting you, or were we? Sirius better not have made your letter disappear again, he'll be so dead..."

"No, actually we did not find the time to inform you of our visit beforehand," Narcissa replied, a hint of amusement flitting over her strained face. "We were hoping to be able to talk to you?"

"About what?" Sirius entered the room, looking suspiciously at the two blonds and wrapping himself around his small mate.

"Sirius," Harry hissed, staring pointedly down at the veela's bare feet. "You're not wearing socks."

Sirius grinned. "Hm, I have plans... Now, would someone care to tell me what is going on here? I don't think this is a social call."

"No, it is not," Lucius admitted, drawing Narcissa's slender form into his arms. "Could we maybe sit down?"

"Of course." Harry smiled apologetically at them. "Take a seat. Sirius, go put on socks. Would you like something to drink?"

"No thank you, Harry," Lucius answered, but led his wife over to the sofa while Sirius obediently summoned a pair of socks. "I hope you will forgive me if I come right to the point."

"Sure, go ahead, Malfoy. No point in making Harry nervous," Sirius replied, pulling Harry into his lap.

"We never made a secret out of it that we have been visiting Draco in Azkaban for a while now and on a regular basis, even though we do not in any way condone his actions or are willing to make excuses for him," Narcissa started, her hand tightly entwined with Lucius'.

"I know that and I'm glad you do," Harry said softly. "He's your son."

"Yes, Harry. But we came here to ask you a favour, to ask your permission in a way," Lucius continued, ignoring Sirius' furious glare.

"Oh, no, you don't, Malfoy!" Sirius spat. "You won't ask Harry to drop all charges against your scum of a son! You fucking won't ask him to give that little asshole back his freedom because he damn well doesn't deserve it!"

"Sirius, please, hear us out," Narcissa asked, but Sirius only glared at her. "We did indeed come to ask Harry for Draco's freedom, but the reason is quite different."

"Do you remember Fleur Delacour, Harry?" Lucius asked.

"Of course. But... She's married to Bill. They have a beautiful little daughter. I don't understand, Lucius."

"We were contacted by her on behalf of her little sister Gabrielle," Narcissa said, reaching into her handbag for a photo which she handed to Harry. "She recognised Draco from a photo in the Daily Prophet. She has dreams of him, Harry."

"No." Harry shook his head, his eyes wide in denial. "I don't... This... No!"

"Harry..."

"No, dammit. He'll hurt her. Who is to say that he won't hurt her as well?" Harry demanded angrily.

"She is his mate and of course, we wouldn't leave them without supervision," Lucius answered immediately. "With your permission, we would convince the Ministry to put Draco under house arrest instead of Azkaban, then invite Gabrielle to stay at the Manor as well."

"We will not allow Gabrielle to get hurt, Harry," Narcissa promised. "But she needs him, and I want to believe that Draco can change, that despite everything, he is not completely evil."

"I know that he isn't," Harry answered, gnawing at his bottom lip. "But his gentleness never lasts, Narcissa, and what then?"

"Then we will still be there," Lucius insisted, but Sirius snorted.

"Like you were there for Harry?" he asked acidly.

"We made a mistake then, we won't make it again," Lucius said decisively.

"**One** mistake?" Sirius spat. "You made more than one fucking mistake, Malfoy. You made one mistake, and then another, and another, until you finally opened your eyes to see what was right in front of them."

Lucius sighed but inclined his head in acceptance of the rebuke before looking back at Harry. "She needs him, Harry."

"I want some securities," Harry finally stated, locking eyes with Lucius, who nodded at once.

"We intend to bind his magic and Gabrielle agreed to be put under an Observation Spell that will alert us immediately if she gets hurt in any way," the blond wizard offered. "She will be safe."

Harry gave a light nod before resting his head back against Sirius' shoulder, playing absently with the large, calloused hands and rubbing at a smear of engine oil.

"What do you want to do, tiny?" Sirius asked, kissing Harry's temple.

"I don't want to be responsible for Gabrielle having to live without her mate," Harry whispered, snuggling a little closer to Sirius. "And Draco could be nice, even to me, so maybe he will be good to her, but I just don't know. What does Gabrielle say to this? And Draco?"

"Gabrielle knows that Draco supported the Dark Lord and abused you," Narcissa said softly, reaching over to grasp Harry's hand. "We did not keep any of his faults from her, and I got to know her as very strong, independent and stubborn young lady. I do not think that she will allow Draco any leeway, Harry, but neither will she go without her mate."

"And Draco? What does he say to this?" Harry asked suspiciously.

The two Malfoys shared a look before Lucius answered. "He seemed eager to meet her and he cherished the letters she sent him."

"And of course, this is also his chance to get out of Azkaban," Sirius mocked.

"We cannot completely eliminate that possibility, yes," Narcissa confessed. "But Sirius, we all know how important mates are and how they change us. We came here to ask Harry for his opinion since he knows that part of Draco better than we do and we will respect his decision, whatever it will be."

"What about Sébastien?" Sirius demanded, refusing to back down and let Harry answer because, dammit, wasn't it obvious how he would answer? Utterly predictable. But he wouldn't allow the bastard, who still haunted Harry's nightmares, to go free, to return to a life in luxury and to act as if nothing had ever happened. Forgive and forget?! Certainly not! "He'll be able to take care of her."

Harry turned to bury his nose against Sirius' neck. "Don't be angry. Sébastien would no doubt take care of her, but it's not really fair to always use him as the rebound guy. You know, he wanted to go to Brazil for an expedition. With Lysander."

"We are taking care of his stupid goldfish so this is really the least he could do," Sirius groused. "And it's not like he is in a relationship or anything."

"He might not be now, but that does not mean that he hasn't cast an eye on someone, you know that," Harry corrected him gently. "And Capone is a koi, Siri."

"Whatever, I still had to save that silly fish more than once from either Butterscotch or Jasper," Sirius insisted. "Surely, if that boring, cold, slippery thing can hold his affection, looking after Gabrielle won't be that much of a sacrifice."

"I think she would prefer not being a sacrifice at all," Harry murmured quietly. "I certainly did."

"Harry... I don't want him anywhere near you, never again," Sirius growled, massaging Harry's back. "And I know you, Harry, you'll be right in the middle, thinking everything is your responsibility and trying to protect everyone but yourself... What do you find so amusing now, Harry?"

"Nothing, nothing," Harry answered quickly, laughing when Sirius dropped a noisy kiss on his neck. "But what can happen to me? It's clear that you won't leave me alone with him. If Lucius and Narcissa say that they'll look out for Gabrielle and if that's what she wants, I think she has a right to try. I got you out of Azkaban as well and I didn't regret it so far."

"Well, I was innocent," Sirius thought to point out, tucking Harry's head under his chin so that he couldn't fall prey to Harry's large green eyes. "Malfoy isn't, and she doesn't even know him! All she has is vague dreams and a probably skewed image of the mate of her dreams."

"You had dreams as well," Harry argued gently. "And you found me because of them. Do you regret that?"

"No, of course not, Harry. My love for you is not in question. Is it?"

"No." Harry smiled at him. "But you always say that mates are made for each other, that we're perfect for only each other. Believe me, I know, Draco is a cruel, egoistic scumbag, but maybe he isn't for her? Draco and I never got along."

"That's no reason to treat someone like he treated you," Sirius said forcefully. "I don't like Snape, either, and he doesn't like me, but still I allow him into our house and pretend to have pleasant conversations with him while you and Remus catch up. Merlin, I even told him that he looked good in that suit on his wedding day and that really wasn't something that came over my lips easily. But I did and - "

"For me?" Harry asked carefully.

"Yes, for you!" Sirius answered. "Because you're friends with him and because Remus loves him and because it hurts you two much more when I insult him than it hurts him."

"So you're not doing it for Severus," Harry concluded. "You do it for us. Maybe Narcissa is right and Draco will change for Gabrielle as well."

Sirius sighed. "Fine, I see your point. Doesn't mean, I have to like it. And I reserve the right to beat him to a bloody pulp if he steps out of line."

"I'm afraid, you will have to share that privilege," Lucius replied wryly, but something like understanding passed between the two men.

Harry rolled his eyes and shared a look with Narcissa full of amused exasperation.

"How about we leave our men to plot and take a walk over the grounds?" Narcissa suggested, offering her arm to Harry. "How is college? Are you prepared for your exams?"

Harry groaned a little. "Mione is driving me insane. I should never have agreed to going to the same college. Two exams this week alone and just as many projects due by Friday and I still don't know if I really have the talent to become an artist."

Narcissa smiled at him, squeezing his arm encouragingly. "I saw some of your works, Harry, and I heard that _Merlin's Magics_ expressed interest in employing you as an illustrator for children's books."

"It's only a spot in their training programme over the summer," Harry mumbled with a light blush. "And it's still not certain. They are waiting for the results of this semester before they give me their final yes or no."

"I'm sure you will do just fine," Narcissa answered. "Unless you and Sirius have other plans? Such as adding to the family?"

"What? No!" Harry exclaimed, shaking his head wildly. "I'm only 22 and anyway, Severus told us in no uncertain terms that he would brew the potion for me to become pregnant only after I finished college or Sirius managed to hold a job for more than six months. I'm not sure what will come to happen first."

Narcissa's clear laugh rang out and the sun glinted on her long blond hair as she brushed it over her shoulder. "Is he still working for the Daily Prophet?"

"No, he just started in Greene's Garage for magical vehicles and modes of transportation," Harry answered lightly. "I think working with his hands is more to his liking, anyway, but for now he just enjoys his freedom. And I'm happy as long as he is happy."

The blonde smiled at him. "I'm very glad that you are, Harry, and we won't allow Draco to ruin this for you."

"I don't think he could," Harry murmured, glancing up at the slender witch. "I'm stronger now, I'm not afraid and I don't have the urge to fall over myself to please any non-entity dominant. He's just that." He shrugged. "Sirius is my mate and he's the one I want to please. Only him. Plus, I'm secretly hoping that Gabrielle takes after her sister because Bill doesn't often get a say in their decisions." He grinned a little, then turned back towards the manor, smiling brilliantly at the two veelas, who approached them, especially of course at his own mate.

Sirius opened his arms with a wide, welcoming smile and Harry ran towards him, laughing happily when Sirius swirled him around and captured his lips in a kiss to the happy barking of Jasper and Butterscotch.

"How are you, my beautiful mate?" Sirius asked, not yet putting Harry back on his own two feet. "Now that I successfully plotted that filthy jerks demise, we can plot how to spend the rest of our anniversary."

Harry cocked his head. "It's our anniversary? Don't tell me I forgot!"

"What else am I supposed to say if you can't remember what a special day today is?" Sirius mocked gently. "I'm pretty sure we married exactly three years ago - and Remus seemed to agree with me."

"You cheated!" Harry accused, glaring indignantly at Sirius. "You had outside help."

"But I share my results with you, don't I?" Sirius offered, kissing Harry's cheek. "So we win both."

Harry grumbled, but then returned Sirius' grin before it could fade. "Okay, but we're going to write that date in our calendar. We already forgot it last year."

"Hm, I'm pretty sure we still had our fun." Sirius chuckled, leading Harry's hand to his mouth for a chaste kiss. "As we will have today, gorgeous. Malfoy, Cissa, please, don't take offence if I throw you out now."

"Siri!"

"Of course not, Sirius, how negligent of us to disturb you on your wedding anniversary. Our apologies," Narcissa said, linking her arm with Lucius'. "Let's go, honey."

"I shall inform you of any development with my son, Sirius," Lucius added before smiling at Harry. "Enjoy your anniversary, little elf, Sirius."

Sirius growled at the old nickname, putting himself between his mate and the two blonds and not letting Harry out of his arms until the Malfoys were clearly out of sight. Harry was so used to Sirius' possessive protectiveness that surfaced every once in a while without much warning that he merely relaxed and put his ear over Sirius' heart, listening to the strong, regular thumping that matched the rhythm of his own heart.

"Siri?"

"Hm? What is it, tiny?"

"Are you angry about Draco?"

"Why would I be?" Sirius' voice was low and soothing and his hands slid carefully through Harry's hair. "Gabrielle has a right to meet her mate, Malfoy and Narcissa have a right to support their son and you have a right to say that you don't want to visit them ever again."

"I didn't say that," Harry protested.

"No? That's what it sounded like to me," Sirius replied innocently. "And I informed Malfoy as well."

"You didn't." Harry groaned, hitting his head against Sirius' strong chest. "Tell me you didn't."

"Oh, yes, I did." Sirius seemed awfully proud of himself, and Harry glared at him. "Because I have every right to keep you safely away from the bastard, who hurt and almost raped you."

"But - "

"That is not up for discussion, love."

Sirius' face got that mulish look that Harry both adored and loathed because it meant that Sirius was done listening and wouldn't be convinced no matter what arguments Harry came up with. It also meant that Sirius would use being the dominant mate to his advantage and just tell Harry to accept his opinion. Most of the time, Harry thought that Sirius didn't even know what he was doing and that it was only his worry for Harry that made him act this way and that was also the reason why Harry didn't mind as much as he probably should. Besides, getting Sirius into protective mode had his advantages for him as well.

He hid his smirk against Sirius' shoulder and then glanced up with a decorative pout on his lips. It was like an electric jolt went through Sirius' body and his grey eyes became a bit glassy. Yep, worked every time.

"What, tiny? What is wrong?" Sirius asked in worry.

"This was supposed to be a happy day and now Draco ruined it," Harry whined, bowing his head. "And even though I study almost non-stop, I'll still fail my exams and art projects because I just don't have enough talent and you know that Lucius has allowed me to paint in their studio because the light is just perfect in there, but if you won't let me go there..."

"Oh, hush, my sweet, we'll find a way. You can paint in your studio here and I'll arrange the shadows so that they're just perfect for you. And you're just stressed and worry too much. You have more than enough talent and you'll ace your exams," Sirius murmured, his voice dark and soothing like the shadows that wrapped around their ankles. "How about I give you a relaxing massage and then we can enjoy the picnic Dobby set up for us?"

Harry sniffed, but allowed Sirius to tug him under his arm and lead him to a chequered blanket that was spread out under a tree, complete with a large basket and several pillows. Sirius held out his hand to Harry and considerately helped him to sit down before he settled himself.

"May I?" he asked, motioning to Harry's shirt and only after the elf had given his permission, he started to unbutton it, feathering open-mouthed kisses on the revealed skin.

Harry moaned and Sirius quickly wrapped his arm around Harry's waist before the young man could lose his balance and instead gently lowered him to the blanket, efficiently manoeuvring him to lie on his stomach with his bare back exposed to Sirius' hungry gaze.

The small elf shivered when Sirius dribbled a bit of cool massage oil onto his back before the veela's large, warm hands smoothed over his back, gently tracing his muscles and working out the tension.

"Are you feeling better, gorgeous?" Sirius murmured finally, vanishing the last traces of oil and then pulling Harry into his lap.

Harry hummed, glancing briefly up at his mate before deciding that he could still get some more attention from his mate. "Yeah, I guess, thanks, Siri."

"Oh, I'm not finished yet," the veela stated, nuzzling Harry's neck. "What would you like to eat? Maybe a bit of that walnut cake you like so much?"

"Sounds good," Harry agreed and soon after he was munching on a piece of cake, safely held against Sirius' chest, who was enjoying his own apple pie.

Afterwards, they shared a bottle of butterbeer and Sirius fed his smaller lover some grapes while he himself feasted on Harry's neck and nibbled on his pointed ear. Harry mewled, fisting his hands in Sirius' shirt as he turned around, his eyes widening in surprise when he saw the lust, with which the veela was looking back at him.

"Siri..."

The veela growled before pouncing on the small elf, knocking him over backwards and just barely protecting him from landing on the ground head-first. His lips found Harry's, his teeth scraping over the velvety skin and tugging his bottom lip into his mouth, while his hands closed around Harry's waist, holding him down as he slid his body over Harry's, pinning him down with his weight.

Harry buried his hand in Sirius' hair, spreading his legs a little so that Sirius could slip between them and then looped his right leg over Sirius' waist. The veela growled, claiming Harry's mouth in a forceful kiss. Harry knew what it meant. It meant: You belong to me. You're mine. No one will touch you but I. There was also an undercurrent of: I'm your dominant. Submit! But Harry wasn't too bothered about it because firstly, he didn't really mind and secondly, there would be no repercussions if he didn't obey, except perhaps that Sirius would sulk a little.

Sirius' hands had slid under the waistband of his pants, tracing his hipbone with gentle, reverent fingers before he blindly reached behind him to get rid of Harry's socks. It was an unspoken rule that they would always first take off their socks and only then their underwear and though Harry didn't really remember why it was so important to Sirius, he still appreciated the fact that Sirius stuck to it religiously because it meant that he, Harry, was important to Sirius.

He gasped when Sirius bit into his neck at the same time as vanishing the rest of their clothes with a wandless spell, pushing Harry a bit more firmly into the ground.

* * *

**BEGINNING OF LEMON**

* * *

"Shh." Sirius sounded distracted, and he didn't stop biting and suckling a path from Harry's collarbone down to his navel. "Lie still."

Harry obeyed, giving in to the myriad of sensations, drowning in the pleasurable feelings Sirius' mouth and fingers invoked in him, stroking and caressing and licking and suckling and tweaking and biting until Harry wasn't sure anymore if it was soreness or lust that made his body thrum and shiver and tremble.

Sirius prepared him with a single-minded gentleness, focused on Harry's body and reactions and nothing else to find the spots that made Harry see stars and others that wrought whimpers and mewls from his younger mate.

When he finally slid into him, it was like coming home. And what a warm welcome it was! He moved with slow, deliberate thrusts, allowing Harry to adjust and then to move in counterpoint against him, meeting each inward stroke with a small push of his own. The sounds Harry made caressed his auditory canal and travelled in a shiver up and down his spine until they triggered low groans and inarticulate shouts from his throat.

The small gasp of his name was the only warning Sirius got before Harry's petite body was seized in a powerful orgasm that shook it like the storm shook the trees, that made Harry's muscles ripple like the wind a smooth surface of a lake, that pushed Sirius towards his own climax.

Harry snapped his eyes open as Sirius howled out his name and shot liquid warmth into him to be able to see the storm-grey eyes lidded in pleasure, the shadows that reared up around them, momentarily concealing the sun. Or maybe Harry had blinked even though he had tried so hard not to. Sirius' hands, broad and calloused and ever gentle, had moved from Harry's waist so that he wouldn't leave bruises, instead fisting in the blanket left and right of Harry's body.

Sirius regained his breath first, carefully sliding out of Harry and quickly checking for blood though he was not surprised when he found none. They were perfect for each other, after all. With practised ease, he rearrange Harry to his liking in his arms, one of his own muscled thighs held snug between Harry's creamy white legs and Harry's back resting comfortably against his chest so that he could bury his face in Harry's neck.

* * *

**END OF LEMON**

* * *

"How's your day now? Better?" he murmured, absently trailing his finger up and down Harry's side.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, better, but I think we'll have to do that a few more times before it's really perfect," Harry whispered, pressing a little closer to the veela. "I still feel stressed."

"We couldn't have that," Sirius replied earnestly, hiding his grin against Harry's neck with only two thoughts on his mind: Firstly, he was grateful that Jasper and Butterscotch had found a large branch to amuse themselves with and hadn't watched their masters' activities. And secondly, that, yes, Harry was very predictable. Deliciously so.

**THE END**

* * *

_Well, that's that. I hope you liked the ending (I'm quite fond of it) and of course the story in general._

_I want to thank you all for reading this, for bearing with irregular updates, short chapters and evil cliffhangers, for adding me or this story to your favourites or alerts or communities, for reviewing and giving me the encouragement and motivation to finish this story. Thank you!  
_

_Special thanks go to Adah Eyes, Blaithin-mae and TheElementalMaster for their corrections and suggestions, their kind words and answers to my questions. I'm very lucky that you were willing to help me with my writing and this story!_

_I think I've said my share, so now it's your turn!  
_


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